₦airaland Forum

[quote author=HR.hotness link=topic=159478.msg2648924#msg2648924 date=1218592087]everyman wants to be al slave deep down inside . .  they just don't knw how to say it   [/quote]TRUE TALK!!!
They love waiting on us
Hand and foot
Just don't want to admit
So they won't be seen as
SOFT.

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

But you can read our minds
when we want sex. . .

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

What are you two?
Can't you be considerate and put it down
When you are done?
It takes like a mere 2 seconds?

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

Of course I'll let it be.
As long as you let it be,
When i watch my Lifetime and chick flicks,
Shut the hell up.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Doing your laundry aint a sport either
And we aint going to view that way either

1. Crying is blackmail.

Whining for sex is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Oh im sorry
I thought you were smart enough
To understand
I will leave  post it notes for now on

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

Same with you.
No more mumbling or grunts.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Come to me when you have a problem
That is what i do
Stop trailing around the house like a wild animal
Save the rest for your mother

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Back pains that require me to massage constantly
That last more that 10 months
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

Oka all the freaky thing we did before
Are inadmissible
So don't ask

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like your fantasy guys.

If you don't dress like Tyson Beckford
Don't expect us to faint in your presence.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

If you think you are getting old, you probably are
Don't expect sympathy.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

If they way i act comes off as furious or sexy
It is usually furious.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

I will tell what i want done
And you are going to do if how i want it.

1. Whenever possible during sports, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Whenever im just relaxing
And you are hungry or feenin
Serve yourself.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Television set is a television set
Wide screen, plasma screen, micro screen, macro screen
It is all the same.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

If it upsets us, we will express it.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If i ask if something is wrong
And you shrug it off,
Fine, deal with it.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

If you ask a question, and expect sympathy
Keep it to yourself.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine, Really.

Oka i will my birthday suit
To your office party.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, Basketball,soccer, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

Don't ask us what we did today
Expect to hear stories from
Our sister, mother, friends, cousins

1. You have enough clothes.

You have enough tools.

1. You have too many shoes.

You have too many jerseys.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

I'm in shape.
Called, say something wrong
Suffer the consequences.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Think of it as a permanent living area.

debosky:
@ onyinye

No need to get worked up, be SIMPLE - is that too much to ask women?

Be considerate- is that too much to ask for?

Hannibal:
Everyone has to die at a point.
You want to live forever, Miss Onyinye Methuselah aka Pumba??

You see the death Mufasa  had, wouldn't want to repeat that now would we?

Hannibal:
Mufasa was a LION KING!!
I like that, Miss Pumba.

Remember Mufasa died.

Thank you Sean T.

topup:
[color=#cc0066]So you're not really looking for a relationship?

I am finding myself too, but I know if I was to enter into a relationship it would only be for love,

Good luck in your search [/color]

Thanks.

debosky:
You sound a bit confused onyinye - this is the biggest dose of realism I've read in a while - a man saying it as it is - he isn't asking for magic, simply explaining his actions in their beautiful simplicity.  

But then, someone who believes Harlequin Romance is realism would definitely mix up idealism and reality  

Blah Blah Blah
Im not even going to stress
Because most of what is listed is trash
Majority of those things
Just go unnoticed
If they did a vice versa
Watch WWIII start.

ChinenyeN:
Actually, it can and does work. It isn't idealism either. Its very realistic. That's what we want women to understand. Debosky said it better. . . "he isn't asking for magic, simply explaining his actions in their beautiful simplicity."

I don't see anything wrong or unreal about this.

yada yada yada.
Understand what?
That most what was listed is
a) being done already but you are too into yourself to notice
b) that it makes guys sound a wee bit selfish

debosky:
There is nothing 'formulaic' or 'propagandaish' about this

I so agree with the seat up/down thing. . . . who on earth decreed that the seat must always be down

Women are always going on about how men are supposed to understand them, well the women have to sit up and understand the men as well.

Its not a conclusive/exhaustive list, but it is very important that women note these fundamental differences and try to communicate effectively.

once again, men are NOT mind readers!

This is straight up propaganda
It all goes back to
"The Formula of Women"
When you going to start using yal's brains
None of this will actually work
This is idealism, we live in realism

eldee:
To expantiate on that

The Champions' League Final is like our anniversary; it reminds me of how many Champions' Leagues we've seen together

Never ask for the back page when I bring the newspaper, it's attached to the back page, use your brains

NEVER EVER arrange any dates for Saturday afternoons, it's a crime

I will not be responsible for anything I say or any action I take when Arsenal's a goal down

Everton VS Blackburn is as important as MTV Movie Awards, I have the right to watch the second half

The jersey for last season is different, why the hell do you think it's £20 cheaper

More rubbish in my ears. Load of garbage.

Hannibal:
Yet anutha artless comment.

Whatever. . . Mufasa.

Hannibal:
Of course, not all women are like that but majority ARE.
Ya statement is like saying NOT all SNAKES are dangerous. . . .
How am i supposed to distinguish the poisonous ones from the non-venomous snakes.

You get what you attract
For you. . . you attract venom
Not even snake venom. . . . SCORPION VENOM *

Well I definately aint looking for sex
Love. . . . not sure about that one either
I guess im in that stage of life
Where im just barely finding myself
So love and sex aren't really in the equation.

Queenisha:
I usually buy their popcorn if I feel like popcorn
small size without extra butter
But then I bring in my goya crackers, m & m's, a sneaker bar and 2 diet cokes with straws

YES!!! I love Goya Crackers!!!
I have like five a day.
I wouldn't bring them to the theaters
My crew would eat them all up before i would get any
But I NEVER buy Movie theater popcorn
Just WAY too salty for my liking
So i just sneak in Cracker Jacks.

Oh Sean T
Don't bother yourself with
This male propaganda of
"The Formula of Women"
Utter Rubbish.

[quote author=Okija_juju link=topic=159290.msg2648511#msg2648511 date=1218583168]The trifling bitch deserved it. Poor guy.[/quote]Nwoke o gini? was all that necessary?

KarmaMod:
Lol so even Niaja theatres have mouth to tell people not to bring their own chin chin eh?

Lmao crazy people.

LMAO!!! Tufiakwa!!!

Queenisha:
If they start searching bags,I'll start carrying my sneaker bars,drinks and cookies in my bra.
Let me come and search there and make me a millionaire when I sue them for public and aggressive unauthorized handling

Don't kill me this evening!!! LMAO!!!

I bought this tote bag especially for the Movies
I bring a drink, 2 bags of candy, and chips
Cause in the movies they purposely over salt the popcorn,
so you HAVE TO buy a drink, with those ridiculous prices
Once you finish drink, you have to go to the bathroom,
And up missing the good part of the Movie.

Hell Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know how long i will be in school?
Forever
I should be paid double
But seeing the people i helped, is worth more than the money

This is another Success Story in America. It is not easy to make it here. I mean im constantly reminded on how my parents sacrificed and suffered to put themselves through college and start a family. So i view them as inspiration. I mean when im studying for exams and I feel i can't do this, i just remember my parents and suck up the drama and get to it.

scare

Remember The Titans
Blood Diamonds
Hotel Rwanda
Catch A Fire
Crash

fine.

cane

Betty605:
SIMPSONS THE MOVIE!! had to go out f the cinema to chill with ma fwendz

OMG!!!
How could i forget how crappy this movie was
It was pathetic
I expected so much more
The plot was stupid
The scenes pitiful
I couldn't stand it, but i had to stay because i was watching it with my little sis.

RichyBlacK:
Sex and the City ke? What happened to Netflix

So many babes have tried dragging me to see that epitome of chic-flick-ism, and I refused to be swayed. I saw Why Did I Get Married? because I like some of Tyler Perry's movies.

Blah Blah Blah you know you went to see 27 dresses and loved it. Be honest.

KarmaMod:
Gosh I don't think bank Job was Statham's best movie(I'd give that to Snatch & Revolver) but still it wasnt that bad.

Bank Job was C. R. A. P.!!!! From start to finish. I was like, "what the hell is this?"

RichyBlacK:
Well, if we had kids already, I may die in her place, if she's been a loving wife. However, if it's any old run-of-the-mill one-night stand babe, I'll do the deed and pray to God. Baba God go understand.

That is just mean!!!
Man you must have a heart of stone
I could never do that to another human