₦airaland Forum

Maybe i have been reading a different Bible. In Numbers 21:8, The LORD said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live." The early Christians, also used the fish sign to identify themselves when Emperor Nero persecuted them.

See as the goat take pose seff... e remain make ee say "CHEESE" !!!

Am 4rm enugu born in.lagos n servd in jigawa. I ws also fortunate to work in a kompany dt did kontrakts for banks. I kan say dt as of today, its only Kwara state av nt been to.

I remember the first girl i wanted to ask out back in the days. We were already so close and i knew she was waiting for me to ask her out. Well, on that faithful day, i was at her place and i had already put her in a happy mood thru my jokes..... i just felt that was the best time to chip in scopes...... well, my friends had all ready told me what to say, and i had crammed it. Lo and behold, when i wan tell am my mind, e just hook me for throat and all i could voice out was, "IFY, i want to toast you"..... she smiled back at silly me and said ..... "BUT AM NOT BEAD". All i can say is that i went home with my tail in between my legs and i tried as much as possible to avoid her after then.

- If you swallow orange seed, it would germinate in ur belly, and the leafs would pop out from your head
- The cure for bed-wetting was to tie a snake round the bed-wetters waist (and how da hell would dey xpect such person to sleep again sef?)
- The patient dog eats the fattest bone. ( After the sharper ones don lem the meat abi?)

Chinom: Call me what you like, but i have this principle that i NEVER fly domestic airlines in Nigeria whenever i'm at home.I only fly when there are no other alternatives, like intercontinental. But once i'm in Nigeria, i ride Ekene or ABC buses.I know they say flying is statiscally much safer than going by road, but it does not FEEL that way. As soon as that plane takes off, you lose total control. I am yet to hear of a bus accident that killed ALL passengers. In a bus, i could be one of the few passengers that survive. In a plane we all die. Now that makes a lot of difference.
The safest way to travel long distance as far as i'm concerned is by rail. But since we are yet to have functioning rail system in Nigeria, i take the bus. It might take a long time, but i always look forward to the breaks in between when i can come down and enjoy my banana and peanuts at Benin or Umunede.
I even bought two seats once just to have more space to myself. But the mean looks and jealous comments i got from fellow passengers made me stop doing that. You know Nigerians with their bad mouth.
I feel real sad for all those that lost their lives. How do we stop plane crashes from killing everybody on board ?. There is no comfort in that irrespective of what the statistics say.If a bus is about to crash, i could jump off the widow. That's just the way i feel.

Guy, my colleagues call me a stingy fellow cus i never enter flight (in Nigeria). They say i am stingy to myself by entering bus to all my destinations in Nigeria. Yes, our roads are bad and accidents do occur, but at-least, they would see a body to bury and not unidentified ashes....... May the souls of the departed rest in peace!

Okija_juju: You know I also use them!

Their matches are faster than DSTV, meaning DSTV has a delay of almost 1 - 2 minutes on matches. I prefer Metrodigital for football than I do DSTV. I only have DSTV for the hunnies. . . For some reason girls seem to be hooked on DSTV. . And they (Metrodigital) are also in port-harcourt.

For EPL, Champions League, Bundesliga, La LIga, Serie A and a shitload of other matches, your best bet is Metro Digital. . . Way better than DSTV guaranteed.

GBAM!

Metrodigital tv or Qtv has been in nigeria for some time. With initial purchase of 19k5 and monthly payment of 3k5, you will watch all the matches and much more. Both epl, champions league, german, italian, etc. I know its in abj, enugu and onitsha. Go give em a try

when story land, kiddies vision 101 and Muppet world were tha bomb
wen fraggle rock, rent-a-ghost, super-ted, danger mouse, muppet babies, sesame street, thunder sub, g-force, vision on, kept us glued to the tv
days wen bazuka-job chewing gum, ginger pepermint, baba dudu, goggo smarties, coconut candy, vip, eclairs, walls ice cream made us "TAP" or parents money
wen super eagles was still super
dbn night shift was the only way we could watch current films
super nes (Nintendo) was the hottest game in the neighborhood
nep(a) still had authority
having a calculator watch was better thsn a rolex
nigerias budget was still in millions not in trillions
kids greeted elders
before boko haram and mend
kas chicken was there and not mr biggs
wen we could drive from lagos to enugu in 5 hours
wen our preachers were preaching and not extorting money
fountain nursery and primary school was da bomb

@ poster, As dem don ban check point na... this is their new way of generating money... at least if they carry u go station, u wld end up bailing urself with like 3k. Then, Imagine say dem full the danfo with 10pple, that's 30k before 6am. I remember travelling to the east with my parents some years back, we were stopped near okada in edo state, and the ogogoro smelling policeman asked my dad for money. Wen my father refused, he said "Mr man, if you no cooperate, i go kill you, your wife and your pikin. I go say una be thief wey wan escape and nothing go happen"...... i think my dad quickly dropped him like 2k

Which do i choose?... agege bread and pepsi or palm wine with okpa?...... rice and stew or abacha and bush meat? drinking chemically treated eva water or water fetched fresh from the stream? hmm... all i can say is, Make all the money in the city den go n live a healthier life in the village.

Hangover!

I can never forget my first and last day on campus, As a freshman, my elder brother brot me to school to introduce me to his friend to "TAKE CARE" of me n not let any harm come my way, Unfortunatley, as we were in the school canteen, my brother n his friend noticed some funny movement. Me, a 16year old jjc, i just dey lem my rice and plantain. My brother now told me that no matter what happens, i shouldnt run, screem or look at anyone dat does anything funny. I was still confused at what he said and was about asking him what he meant when i heard the loudest knochout sound i had heard in my life, and my ears started ringing bells. It took me 5mins for me to get my self and i found out that the person that was eating beside me was shot and my clothes were stained in his blood. I was still seated, but my spirit had already ran to my parents house. wallahi, i piss for body, same shootings and killings happened during my matric, even when i went to collect my statement of result, someone was killed at the school gate and his toe cut off. During all these killings, i never had pity on the murderd boys, it was their parents who suffered to raise them that i cried for, But i never regret attending my one and only LASU! , lol

Hmmmn. Thats like at least 2billion naira. (tourist wisa is 140dollars). Times am by 155naira, then times 100,000, too much money!. I wonder how many pple from usa apply for naija visa, maybe 2000 in a year, lol

I have known Diya & Fatimilehin to be among the top estate managers in Nigeria. I was surprised to find out from a very close friend of mine that the coy hasnt been treating their staff well. Mass resignation has been on since last year. Onitsha branch staff has been owed for 5 months salary, lagos branch is like 4 months, abuja branch is also 5 months. The saddest part is that they werent even paid december salaries knowing that most of them would be travelling and now i january, still no pay. School fees dey there, house rend dey there too. The company ownere seems not to care for their staffs welfare, i wonder which one is better, Being unemployed, or being employed and not being paid at all. Its a sad situation.

And what of Enugu onitsha?

@ proud-igbo, yeah, shoprite is at the old polo park, near IMT

@ spoony, if ur staying in udi, make sure u go to "AFIA MMANYA JUNCTION" (obinagu), there you would get the freshest and sweetest palmwine. Also, there is a waterfall also at obinagu, called "IYI UBA". Have a nice stay.

For me, Dutse (jigawa) is the worst in the northern zone, Abakiliki (ebonyi) in eastern zone and yenogoa (bayelsa) in southern zone,

WTF? , The crowd looks hungry, why the man go dey waste time to send rain, He would have made "MANNA" to fall from heaven or better off, make fufu and egusi soup to feed the masses, then we would know that he is down for buisness

Try being at unizik junction after just 15mins of rainfall, mtcheeewwww, Peter Obi , "Pathetic Clown"

Is it 8k for the 4games or 8k each?