₦airaland Forum

Good post @op

ericpaul158705: u made some strong and self -reflecting points dat has got me thinking of what I have done.

Don't wallow in regret. The time of ignorance God has winked at, He only calls you for repentance. Once that is done, you're back on track!

Donfamous: but ur heading states otherwise

Yea! An ironical title...right? A means of getting people to know the evils in sex before marriage.

Donfamous: Is this argguiment for or against? Cos it seems u're contradicting urself

It is an argument against. I'm not contradicting myself

“You don’t tell a child to avoid leprosy if he is able to live alone in the forest” – Nigerian Proverb

Sex before marriage is a popular trend even beyond marriage itself that most people especially singles indulged in it. They believe it’s fun or ‘normal’ to do that most people are even lured into it.

Many had indulged in it only to discover the real truth behind it. As opposed to its real purpose, to be used in marriage, many people now explore and experiment it in their relationship.

The ‘beauty’ about sex before marriage is as follows:

1. It is good when you are ready to face its consequences

Beyond the few minutes’ pleasure usually said about premarital sex, there are some consequences that often come with it.
Remember, “Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet [because they are forbidden]; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” (Proverbs 9:17, AMP).

Sex before marriage is enjoyable but be ready to face consequences like soul ties, guilt and condemnation, unwanted pregnancy, shame, abortion and contacting of sexually transmitted diseases. It is until a child is burnt that he will dread fire.

However, none of these consequences can be prevented by using contraceptives.

2. It will make you harm yourself

Isn’t that weird? How can I hurt myself?

One thing many people don’t know about premarital sex is that you cannot indulge in it and remain the way you were before the act.

For instance, the emotional pain or bitterness that comes with being used and neglected when you have premarital sex cannot be erased because it will remain engraved in your memory. Not everyone that had sex before marriage remained married to each other.

To remain emotionally, spiritually and medically healthy, premarital sex is not an option even though it is offered cheap or your hormones demands for it. Count the cost rather than the pleasure.

3. It will make you sin against God

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. “(Hebrews 13:4, MSG).

Some may say God is full of mercy and indulge in sex before marriage since they can ask for forgiveness.
Yes He is. You can choose your sin but not its consequences. When you sin against God, you’ll become His enemy and this will give the devil the opportunity to steal your happiness and you’d become vulnerable to his attack.

Remember, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy when you violate God’s law. Sex before marriage is one of the avenues he often uses to get into people’s life unhindered.

4. It ‘assists’ your progress in life

Imagine what would have become of Samson had it been he did not allow that few minutes of pleasure on Delilah’s lap to truncate his destiny.

You may disapprove it but it is the fact. You don’t toy your destiny with premarital sex. God has created you uniquely and to fulfill that purpose, you must stay away from some destiny destroying vices. Premarital/extramarital sex is one of the ways that the devil uses in destroying people’s life beyond repair.

Now, if you are ready to live a frustrated and unfulfilled life, premarital sex is good for you. But otherwise, you must stay away from it if you are here to fulfill purpose and destiny.

If with all these you are still not convinced that sex before marriage is detrimental, then you need to experiment it yourself to see whether it is true or not. Sexual relationship before marriage will make you sin against God, hurt yourself, suffer its consequences and also affects your progress in life negatively.

Honor God with your body while you’re single so that you can live your life to the fullest.

Read more articles on www.handlingrelationshipissues.com

It is so painful these days that quite a lot of ladies failed to figure out who they are and what they want before marriage.
Marriage will not make you; it will only shape you and bring out what is on your inside. As a lady you need to know your role before marriage and not during it. When you fail to do so you will make a mess of your relationship because a man cannot complete you, you are to complement him.

Before you complement a man in marriage, what are the things you need to know about yourself?

1. Work on thy Temperament

How do you behave to others when you’re happy or moody? This and your pattern of thinking would define your temperament.
Knowing what easily gets you angry, irritable or moody would help you place a check on how you’d allow people get on your nerve.
Whether you’re Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy or Phlegmatic; you have to know your temperament and the things you must avoid that would get you in a bad emotional and psychological state which could mar your relationship.

Many failed to know their temperament and have allowed it to ruin their marriage due to the stress and challenges in marriage.
Work on your temperament if you have a bad one.

2. Discover thy purpose

A woman’s role isn’t confined to the bedroom or kitchen alone. It is a man with an archaic mentality that would want his woman to only raise children and put food on his table.
I’m not saying this is not important but there’s more to marriage than that alone.
Aside the primary function of a woman, what purpose do you want to live for? Your purpose, when balanced in proportion doesn’t have to get over your marriage.

If you’re to be a suitable help meet, you need to know in what capacity you can function. It is possible to be a Proverbs 31 woman when you know your purpose beyond domestic chores or allowing yourself to be ‘used’ by every Tom, Dick and Harry before marriage.

3. Know thy God

“They that know their God shall be strong and do exploits”. You may be successful in life but you cannot have good success if you don’t know God.

The God you know will guide you into knowing the kind of man you’d settle for in marriage. Queen Esther didn’t just settle for a man, a prince or one of the chiefs; she kept herself, knew her God and His favor brought her her king.
There’s a king in every man you can bring out if you’re married to the right man. You cannot bring out a king in a wrong partner; you’d only see his bad nature no matter how hard you try.

When you know God, He will guide you into knowing the right man. The God you know will save you from time wasters, glory killers or destiny hunters that would ruin your purpose as a woman.
Have a relationship with God. Knowing God is more than being religious, it is more of an intimate relationship which is built over the years.

4. Love thyself

Happiness is influenced by external factors. Love is first felt from the inside before it is expressed. No man can make you feel loved if you fail to love yourself. You’ll only idolize him.

To love yourself, be happy with how you look like, have a good self-esteem, do what you enjoy and not what you’re coerced to do, be contented with what you have and be proud of yourself as a woman.
No one can love you better if you fail to love yourself.

5. Work on thyself

Nobody is perfect. We are all work in progress. Before marriage, while you’re single, you have every time to improve on yourself. Learn the things you cannot do better that will be useful when you’re married.
Making good food, home management, child training and how to maintain cordial relationship (social) with others should be learnt.

Instead of being busy wasting away time while you’re waiting to be married, convert those energies and resources into something productive so that it becomes a plus in your life in the future and not regret in the future.

6. Separate thyself from unfriendly friends

It is good to have friends but worse when these friends do not contribute anything positive in your life but rather reduce your dignity and productive capacities. Any friend that doesn’t add value to you will take something valuable from you.

Life and successful marriage is beyond gossiping, designer wears, fashion craze or spending heavily on worthless endeavors. Associate yourself with those you can learn from, not those who will unlearn what you know.
If you can do these to yourself, coupled with prayers and a good spouse, you will enjoy marital bliss.

Read more helpful articles on www.handlingrelationshipissues.com

“You don’t tell a child to avoid leprosy if he is able to live alone in the forest” – Nigerian Proverb

Sex before marriage is a popular trend even beyond marriage itself that most people especially singles indulged in it. They believe it’s fun or ‘normal’ to do that most people are even lured into it.

Many had indulged in it only to discover the real truth behind it. As opposed to its real purpose, to be used in marriage, many people now explore and experiment it in their relationship.

The ‘beauty’ about sex before marriage is as follows:

1. It is good when you are ready to face its consequences

Beyond the few minutes’ pleasure usually said about premarital sex, there are some consequences that often come with it.

Remember, “Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet [because they are forbidden]; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” (Proverbs 9:17, AMP).
Sex before marriage is enjoyable but be ready to face consequences like soul ties, guilt and condemnation, unwanted pregnancy, shame, abortion and contacting of sexually transmitted diseases. It is until a child is burnt that he will dread fire.

However, none of these consequences can be prevented by using contraceptives.

2. It will make you harm yourself

Isn’t that weird? How can I hurt myself?

One thing many people don’t know about premarital sex is that you cannot indulge in it and remain the way you were before the act.
For instance, the emotional pain or bitterness that comes with being used and neglected when you have premarital sex cannot be erased because it will remain engraved in your memory. Not everyone that had sex before marriage remained married to each other.

To remain emotionally, spiritually and medically healthy, premarital sex is not an option even though it is offered cheap or your hormones demands for it. Count the cost rather than the pleasure.

3. It will make you sin against God
“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. “(Hebrews 13:4, MSG).

Some may say God is full of mercy and indulge in sex before marriage since they can ask for forgiveness.

Yes He is. You can choose your sin but not its consequences. When you sin against God, you’ll become His enemy and this will give the devil the opportunity to steal your happiness and you’d become vulnerable to his attack.

Remember, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy when you violate God’s law. Sex before marriage is one of the avenues he often uses to get into people’s life unhindered.

4. It ‘assists’ your progress in life

Imagine what would have become of Samson had it been he did not allow that few minutes of pleasure on Delilah’s lap to truncate his destiny.
You may disapprove it but it is the fact. You don’t toy your destiny with premarital sex. God has created you uniquely and to fulfill that purpose, you must stay away from some destiny destroying vices.

Premarital/extramarital sex is one of the ways that the devil uses in destroying people’s life beyond repair.
Now, if you are ready to live a frustrated and unfulfilled life, premarital sex is good for you. But otherwise, you must stay away from it if you are here to fulfill purpose and destiny.

If with all these you are still not convinced that sex before marriage is detrimental, then you need to experiment it yourself to see whether it is true or not. Sexual relationship before marriage will make you sin against God, hurt yourself, suffer its consequences and also affects your progress in life negatively.

Honor God with your body while you’re single so that you can live your life to the fullest.

Source: http://handlingrelationshipissues.com

I love you: Should i tell him?"Help! I'm in a relationship with this guy. I love this guy so much and he loves me too. We spend time together and we usually enjoy each other's company. It's been several months now this guy has never proposed to me. His friends told me he's shy. When I told my friends about it, they told me to tell him. Is this proper?" – Anonymous

It takes two to tangle and mingle in a relationship. When it comes to opposite sex relationship, love is usually created based on either feelings, infatuation or on a decision to love. The latter is the surest foundation for a successful love relationship. However, no matter the basis of attraction, a party is bound to set the ball rolling as to making a proposal.

Proposal are usually made when a relationship is to be moved forward, say from friendship to courtship or any relationship heading to marriage. By virtue of creation, it is the sole responsibility of the male folks to initiate a proposal, when the lady agrees based on her interest, she will accept or reject it otherwise. However, recent relationship philosophies now agrees to the fact that a lady can propose to a guy in a relationship if the guy doesn't make any move or seemed to be too shy. I strongly detest this move with the following points:

God Placed Man In The Position To Do So
It was written that a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, they two shall become one flesh (Gen.2:24) Get this right, God did not intend that a woman should initiate the act. Culture or no culture, it is divinely wrong and would bring lot of issues that will be discussed further. It was Adam that described who Eve was to him. It would be so absurd for Eve to ask Adam for proposal.

Loss Of Self-Worth
A piece of gold that is cheaply gotten cannot be appreciated unlike that which was difficult to find. Men love to do the proposal and would do what it takes to get the attention of whom they are interested in. The beauty of a relationship is in the chase – when a woman plays hard to get. If a lady initiates the proposal, he may not resent the offer, but know for a surety that your worth is reduced. He will take you for granted and you'll become so cheap in his custody. Why would you go into a relationship where you'd be treated like a piece of trash?

You Might Be Blamed In The Case Of Any Eventualities In The Future
It is not so uncommon that some marriages were created this way and the finger of blame is usually pointed at the female folks. Some men are fault finders and would not hesitate to recall to you how you lead them into the relationship. To avoid burying your head in shame, it is better to avoid a shameful act.

It Is Culturally Wrong
Before the advent of civilization, it was never read in history that a woman made the move to engage a man in a relationship or maybe it exist that I don’t know. Civilization made some traditions uncivil and it is now becoming a widely accepted trend. It is a degradation of cultural values for a woman to do so, let alone to believe that there's nothing wrong in that. You may feel that there’s nothing wrong it that, but there’s everything wrong in it.

To whom this may concern, none of our parent were ever married this way or started their union in such manner. It is lack of self-worth and esteem that will make a woman think proposing to a man is a solution for his shyness or the best thing to do. If he truly loves you, he will find all avenues to make his intention known to you. I do not accept this kind of invite whether for friendship or for intended couples. The only thing you can do as a woman is to position yourself where the right man can find you. Be nice, groom your content (virtues, innate potentials) rather than give concentration to your appearance alone. Living a routine life is not the solution. Go out and make friends. Praying alone is not the solution but making new friends other than your usual lifestyle. It is better to avoid a shameful act than to bury one’s head in shame.

Do you have contrary views and valid points on this issue? Share them with us!

Read more relationship articles on http://handlingrelationshipissues.com

favors from my teachers in my PPA, free transport to places where I am going (not in all cases sha ), NCCF taking me places during their ruggeds and conferences, meeting new people...in fact NCCF made me to enjoy mine service year...NYSC itself na big time dulling...imagine an architect teaching...waste of human resources..

bory09: why are they both girls. Hmmm use what you have to get what you want in the making. Mouth seal

Stop saying what you don't know...Tolu Ogunlesi is a man and not a girl you proclaimed. May god have mercy on those who jump over the gun

Hebunn: Each time I see stories like this, one thing comes to my mind... The devil wants to discourage people from going to church. I don't worship pastors, and I'm nt a church fanatic... But no matter the scandals, God will forever remain God, and He's forever faithful. So the earlier people know this, the better for us all. Anytime I walk by a news stand and I see all those soft sell magazines that claim to expose church scandals, I quickly take my eyes off them. I'm not denying the fact that these scandals truly occur, but I don't wanna be discouraged. I've experienced God, and I BELIEVE in Him, so I won't be deterred by such negative stuffs. Opinions are mine, pls... God helps us all.

I like you comment on this issue...especially this...thinking of what to comment but I reserve it on this issue. Let us not worship pastors..they are human with blood running through their veins...they can be tempted..it takes grace to flee a 'temptative' scene...you can easily preach about immorality but how you handle it determines the strength you are made of to overcome it...this is an intelligent comment by Hebunn

why is it that people like copy and paste and give no credit to the original writer? This was originally written by Tolu Ogunlesi from The Punch and posted on NL by Joel Lala...let's give kudos to the brains behind original articles

Mrs.Chima:
Each kid is different and we must custom train our kids accordingly.

But I think this is a general rule for children irrespective of their gender...

this one is an interview questions...too much...#Kilode#

Approve ke? when are they going to disburse the money into ASUU's account? let them pay first so that ASUU can call it off..

nwajoshua: listen man!God is not in denominational churches, sorry to say, am a christian but churches r making fun of God, when did God invite these pastors, wat is their message, 4 ur prayer to be answered, u do not need to keep any principle, cos freely u shall recieve anytin from God. And note...bible is not our message, word of God comes tru a Voice not a book and faith cometh by hearing d word ie voice....God is a living God, not a dead God whose written will is being followed..he should have a mesg for us capable of adding to d bible here is my No 08102990133 call me for more info..tnks

brother, don't mislead people..u might be right that churches are making fun of God but i felt other opinions are wrong...God is a God of principle...variety and order...check out how He created the earth? How He emphasized giving...giving is a principle and he respects giving irrespective of the state of the giver...the word of God is written in the bible..your voice is susceptible to error..it can be prone to the flesh, the world or voices within...how can faith come if you do not study your bible and the Holy Spirit minister it to your ears?

prayer is a principle...getting it answered requires principle which we must follow. the prayer of an unrighteous man is an abomination to God..#Shikena#

It is VERY possible...let me show you how. I asked the Holy Spirit this question and He told me that we often commit sin through this medium: what we hear, what we say, what we think of, how we act and what we see. if these things can be controlled, we can be sure of living a sinless life.

however, they cannot be achieved through the human effort or ability. we need the power of the Holy Spirit to achieve them because He will teach us all things. He will tell you what you should hear, what to say, control the thoughts of your heart for out of it are the issues of life, how to behave and not to look a woman to lust or covet after our neighbor's property...

on this issue...anything you love more than God becomes an idol and the practice of it becomes idolatry. I stand to say this, the use of earring became a snare to the Israelite when Aaron told them to bring it and mold a golden calf...if they have not had it on their ears, nothing would have been used as against God's commandment.

let your adornment be not of the outward appearance but of the inner man with a godly character and inner beauty. let us look unto Jesus and not people, pastors or anybody..study what His word says and not what people phrased out from it. love not the world and ALL that is in it. the world has its fashion, dressing, music and the likes. so does God have is. get rooted in the world of God...you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you FREEEEEEEEEEEE

Ajibam: Ogo ni fun olorun loke orun!!!
Ogo ni fun olorun loke orun!!!!
Moni pe ogo ni fun olorun loke orun!!!!

Daddy,we will miss u...d strength u hv shown to reunite all c.a.c will neva die...cos u hv pave d way..we wud follow.....I love u daddy....rest in d bossom of abraham


ONE FOLD ONE SHERPERD

Yeah...he lived a successful life irrespective of his disability. lesson: God has not created anyone to be a deficit. he has load us with potentials and benefits. use yours so that you can be well remembered after your demise.

look see far...does it makes any sense? hmmm...what of Lucifer? let's just be careful of the music we sing or dance to lest you pay homage for the devil or his incarnate..

6 times a day haba why nah? Is he jobless? has he turned her to a sex machine? may God have mercy on the poor late guy. is what child marriage has caused him...early marriage...early grave

guilty of all but not C...#WeAreNigerians

are we to give kudos to Mary or Jesus, who brought salvation to mankind? the devil at times manifest as an angel of light...we need discernment to discern...remember, thou shall not worship or make any graven image of any likeness and worship...

i passionately dislike our men in black..

Whether its true or not...whether its unverifiable or joblessness that made him say so...folk, heaven is real...and you cant afford to be tormented in hell..no good person will make heaven but only those who accept Jesus and remain His disciples...#HaveYouAcceptHim

oluamid: Long distance relationships can work if:

1. They have been dating a very long time before being separated

2. One or both partners are virgins

3. If none is a virgin, they have never been intimate with each other

4. If they are both "born again"

5. If they are both frigid

6. If one of the partners is heavilly loaded and †нэ other isn't

7. If they are both dead.


Apart from †нэ above reasons, †нэ long distance thingy won't work. Out of sight is out of mind.

What kind of death? physical or spiritual?

Odunharry: yap it is worth it...nt for evrybody

Not everyone would benefit from it..#UnderstandingMatters

Naija I hail thee..facebook tea is on the way..#WatchOut

Many people will say lots of things about this post about it been false. whether you believe or not, accept Jesus. Don't wait till you know the truth in Hell when there's no second chance..#AcceptHimNow

On a more frank note...you're reading your virtual bible on a BB, say you're meditating on it as obliged; and you got a ping..tell me won't you be distracted?

Or better still, you have your holy book on your phone..and on it you keep explicit photography..is that sacred anyone?

Tell me, can the virtual bible repel an attack from demons? Never!!!

Do not be fooled or deceived, technology is good and modernization is okay to some instance but never should it take the place of God's work in your hand..while using an iPad in the church or mosque..you can be tempted to switch over to something else in the course of the service. but if you are with the printed copy, and you're disciplined, nothing, I say nothing can distract you...He that has an ear, let him hear....#SimpleTruth