₦airaland Forum

Slawormir:
My niggarrr
I must tell you
You need to slow down
No matter the amount of weed we smoke we can never be the most high. Only Jah( God) is the most high

I dey even blow mine right now for one of my guy house
We don eat paper rice tire. We just relax for back yard. Inside house dey hot

O.G pass me the claro

wetmenow:
GUIDE TO USING CONDOMS =
1. If she has a tatoo..... CONDOM
2. If she drinks beer...... CONDOM
3. If she switches her phone when she is with you..... CONDOM
4. If she starts pulling off your boxer.... CONDOM!
5. IF SHE RUSHES TO GET ON TOP...... CONDOM
6. If she doesnt ask for a condom..... CONDOM
7. If she has short dyed hair..... CONDOM!
8. If she wears tight jeans.... CONDOM
9. If she doesn't sigh when you touch her..... CONDOM!
10. If she lives alone..... CONDOM
12. If she travels to SA/Nigeria frequently..... CONDOM
13. If she works in a bottle store..... CONDOM
14. If she is a student but with a child.... CONDOM
15. If she wears Gstrings..... CONDOM
16. If she is below 40 and already a high ranking police officer..... CONDOM
17. If she asks for money, airtime, etc.... CONDOM
18. If she shouts in the streets.... CONDOM
19. If she has many males friends on Facebook..... CONDOM
20. If supports Kaizer Cheifs fc, Dynamos ,Man u or Barcelona... Please Condomize my Brother Pliz!!!
21. If she has a ring on her nose... double CONDOM!!!
22. If she is in this group please please put on a CONDOM
23. If she takes this post personally... triple the CONDOMs my brother ....I am done and gone
SHOULD I INCREASE THE VOLUME...?

Oga Wetin remain again? We go dey sleep with condoms

fk002:
I blame that Adeyinka for giving him that advice


OJUKWU

But the said Hero came back years later after the civil war and contested for the seat of President of the same country he fought, while his people that are hailing him now were theseame people that stabbed him on the back by not voting for him.

Spot on!!!

De Gea should go and sit down Abeg

OnlineWell:
Mane is a beast

OK

Onyi22:
Forever young, pls what's her secret?

Fresh sperm

vizkiz:
It is not difficult to identify a bastard nowadays.

Just take a look at these kids undermining the post of a father in their lives. The system has so much brought down the role of a father. Making him look like a figure head. Praising the mother alone.

Little wonder we have so many days assigned to praise women and just a day to notice the value of a man (Father’s day). Most times the Father’s Day come and go without anyone noticing it

Same father who worked all his life to take care of his family? Same father who will risk his life day and night just to put food on the table? Same father who paid your fees from the very first day you were born till you started earning your own money? Same father who put a roof over your head and even assigned your own room? (No wonder men die early)

Only for him to be cheated again when he is to reap the fruit of his Labour. Little wonder most of you are cursed. It is because you have offended God and man by being a fool.

Just take a look at the cheap gold-digging girls we have nowadays. All they do is look for a ready made man. So after having kids for that guy, those unfortunate kids will rather take care of her than their father who has worked for money all his life?

What happened to 50:50? To hell with you simpletons.

My mum has done a whole lot for me and I’ll do anything just to make her happy but my dad (bless his soul) deserves as much love and happiness.

Even the 50:50 sef, my dad will still buy gifts for mum from that money. I understand most of you are not from stable homes sha...Una dey use una family problem judge the matter.

I stan

festacman:
- As an adult, Chioma willingly cohabited with Davido.
- Davido openly declares his love for Chioma in a song titled "Assurance", asking water to carry him away if he jilts her. Eventually, Chioma became pregnant for Chioma.
- Subsequently, both Davido and Chioma's families have formally met and are fully aware that their children intend to marry.
- Davido not only witnessed the birth of Ifeanyi but signed his birth certificate as his father.
- Davido, in the presence of members of both his and Chioma's families, named his son David Ifeanyi Adeleke at a public event.
- Ever since the birth of Ifeanyi, Davido has assumed and performed all necessary paternal duties.
- Currently, Chioma still lives with Davido and gives her body freely to him.

In view of foregoing and given that since the birth of Ifeanyi, no man has surfaced to make any paternity claim, I hereby insist and affirm that Ifeanyi Adeleke is biologically and legally Davido Adeleke's son.

Case dismissed

vizkiz:
Bro...It is no stereotype but the absolute truth.

The level of favoritism that goes into being the only son is astonishing!

You are likened to the “Golden egg” who will carry the family’s legacy (hence being a spoilt child). Don’t allow the 21st century’s manipulation that all child are equal deceive you. You will always get favored by your parents than your siblings.

This one you are complaining about being the only son, what do you want those of us who are the First born son to do?

Do you know the level of misconception directed towards our path? Abeg abeg no vex me this afternoon

God bless you. First born never complain na you

stunnert:
Congratulations to her, but she looks too skinny

and ugly

Caseless:


Good one from the United fans!

Why are they even trying to force it down everybody's throat? We all have the right to like and dislike without being openly offensive to the next person.

Where's the sense of democracy when we're all forced to accept homosexuality as a norm?

Fine! They can all be homosexuals , we don't care. But they should leave the rest of us out of it - we can't be coerced to be gays. God forbid!


I hate how English FA brandish and flaunt the rainbow band in some weeks to support the LGBTQ through football.

Wtf? How much support have they given to the refugees, the victims of abuse and child labor, etc?

We all know that they are hypocites

TheSourcerer:
weed should be legalised

Yesso

adamooye:
This shit should b legalize

it's high time

odiks:
https://www.newtelegraphng.com/apc-overruns-pdp-takes-over-imo-state-assembly/

Father Mbaka said it all...

rentAcock:
How so?

with your words

tesppidd:
Can you go to court and prove that Buhari is a sponsor of Boko haram?

This is not about whipping up emotions like a teenager in love for the first time.

Apart from hear say, can you prove it?

Rubbish, you think this is telemundo.
Don't make unsubstantiated claims simply because you have data.

Now fuucck off kid, and repent of your foolishness.

Allow him flex now. He'll soon go missing .DSS no dey play...

rentAcock:
I didn't watch Jordan play but I definitely watched the Kobe & Shaq era. Kobe is the reason I started watching basketball while those around me only watched football. The guy is so talented and driven that I think it is even an insult to put Lebron ahead of him in a rank of the greatest of all time. I have never felt so touched and saddened by the death of a person I've never met before but for the past two days I've been really sad. It just hurts to see this promising young man go like that, it's like it doesn't even seem right. It feels so unfair as though he was cheated. The guy just had so much life left in him, and to think we will never see one of basketball's greatest player again, is just an insurmountable loss.

He was not only a legend, but he was also a very caring father. How many dads with a business empire, fame and wealth like his would make out time to attend every basketball game of their 13yr old daughter? But he did. He was so proud of that girl, you can just see how happy they were together.

It's quite unfair, but his legacy lives on. His name will forever be carved in record books, buildings, stadiums and in our minds till eternity. Rest on black mamba, rest on

Guy you just gave me goosebumps. No vex

vincentjk:
They're building the railway lines to help the igbos transport their goods easier

And is that a bad thing?

Mummymahdi:
God forgive those that regretted their actions and seek forgiveness not those that died in the act. He is a useless fellow. See him fat ugly face

See as you talk sense. I don't have to comment anything again

Thegeneralqueen:
How can I unsee this

Apply Chinese balm

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Guy calm down and forget advice for now, choosing a wife is not bet9ja that you predict. These women are sly. Continue with the flow eventually one will leave, then you know the rest!

NERDYDREAMS:
Marry me

Guy why?

Lamanii22:
Follow your heart Hun... Or let me make it easy for you.... In a scenario where you were suppose to meet Benita for a date.. And Susan shows up at your house, and don't forget you still have feelings for Susan.. And eventually you spent the time you were suppose to be with Benita, you spent it with susan... Would you feel guilty about that... And vice versa... You can choose the one that you'd feel guilty about.... For hurting..

awwwwww....

RZArecta:
your campaign of calumny against this gym failed on Twitter yesterday, in fact they even gained more potential customers so you people decided to come to nairaland where people are more “gullible”

I trust my tweeter peeps. No time

NwaAmaikpe:




I am proud of him and I hope he does not feel bad about this.

He has the money,
He has the fame,
He has the looks,
He has the charisma,
He has the achievements,
He has the preek

He'd only be a fool to shortchange himself by sticking to one lady when he should use all his spare time in getting his preek wet.
The worst that will happen is that she will leave and another will happily come.
In fact, he should dump the two of them.

These ladies are not loyal.
They're down with you when you're up,
And the relationship is up once you're down.
Then you'd chase after them like a lost puppy while they make you feel guilty for making it fail.

Being broke amplifies your flaws but a rich man is loved and God-sent to them.
Ask Venita or ask Regina.

By default, the most subtle of women is a self-centered schemer.
So you think you're playing her when she actually designed the game plan for you.

Even your own wife who complains that you spend too much time hanging out with your male buddies in your youthful days won't give a shiiit about you when she goes spending months on end doing 'omugwo' at the kids' when you two are aged and your game is up.

Enjoy life now my brothers.
But enjoy it safely.
If you wanna go raw, just ensure you don't let a dumb girl get pregnant for you.

God bless Ubunja with more wisdom so that his miseducations will further free more fvckboy, toycvnt husbands who think the only reason God created them is to lick female butt.
If only they knew they'd have more butts to play with if they never licked one.

Men have been the victim all along, these crafty women are the victors.
They make you feel guilty for wanting more yansh when they won't think twice to spread their legs for anyone who can give them attention, give them money or tell them what they want to hear.

Lacazette please don't allow yourself be at the mercy of a woman because the only thing she can offer to you can be offered to you by thousand others.

God will continue to enrich you financially and intellectually

Abeg is your wife a Nigerian? Because I know my people.

EddyNumerouno:
I wanted to run 5 km this morning, 2 minutes outside and I’m typing from underneath my duvet.
Na fat I fat, I no kee person

I know say your fatness no be here LMAO

Mckandre:
Pocohontas after spending 5mins in that beach

That's a whole lot of Ice-Cream

Kelvinsaint:
Nice one, the truth is just that tires must go up in frames at exactly 11:59:45 to night

Frames abi?

It was only about a matter of time...

nextstep:
For me, I never argue. I've raised my voice with a woman only once in my adult life. Sometimes women just want to vent frustrations but there's no real meat to the argument, if she took time to really evaluate her position. So no need for me to join voices, I just be mute and nod my head, and look for the real reason. I don't even try to prove my point until much later. "Na pikin she be" for my mind.

It's a difficult question: what are you arguing about in the first place?
Is it a simple disagreement over something minor? Agree.
Did the guy fvck up? Apologize.
Is it something fundamental and dear to you? If you can let it go, agree. If not, try to talk to her calmly later on. If she remains obstinate, she's welcome to leave.

Have you seen women living together? One day all is well, next day na fight or silent treatment. Then they're friends again by weekend.
And what were the fights about... mostly bullshit of no consequence.

Sometimes though, there are women who are just argumentative for the sake of it... and the only way you can end it is just walk away - literally and figuratively.

This your wisdom Ehn. God will continue to Increase it in IJN



First time I've learnt something good here...

emonis88:
That is y I prefer Messi to Rolando, him own shakara too much Jare!

Wetin concern us with with ur useless preference ?