₦airaland Forum

its called sadomasochism:


sorry, had to copy and paste from wiki for those who might not be able to open the link.

Sadomasochism is the giving and/or receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. A subset of BDSM, practitioners of sadomasochism usually seek out sexual gratification from these acts, but often seek out other forms of pleasure as well. While the terms sadist and masochist specifically refer to one who either enjoys giving pain (sadist), or one who enjoys receiving pain (masochist), many practitioners of sadomasochism describe themselves as at least somewhat of a switch, or someone who can receive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain.

The acronym S&M is often used for sadomasochism, although practitioners themselves normally drop the & and use the acronym SM or S/M. Sadomasochism is not considered a clinical paraphilia unless such practices lead to clinically significant distress or impairment for a diagnosis.Similarly, sexual sadism within the context of mutual consent should not be mistaken for acts of sexual violence or aggression.

The term "Sadomasochism" is complicated by the diversity of intent in its application. These terms were often loosely used to refer to cruel individuals or those that brought misfortunes onto themselves. However, these definitions are misleading. Richters and colleagues (2007) examined the common belief that people with sadomasochistic sexual interest are damaged or dangerous. Their research found that BDSM is simply a sexual interest, and it is not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with sex. The two words incorporated into this compound. Sadism and masochism were originally derived from the names of two authors. The term “Sadism” derived from the name of Marquis de Sade. Not only did he practice sexual sadism, he also wrote novels about these practices (best known is Justine ). The term “Masochism” was named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. He practiced masochism and wrote novels expressing his masochistic fantasies. These terms were first selected as professional scientific terminology, identifying human behavioural phenomena and intended for the classification of distinct psychological illnesses and/or malicious social and sexual orientations.
The German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing introduced the terms "Sadism" and "Masochism"' into institutional medical terminology in his work Neue Forschungen auf dem Gebiet der Psychopathia sexualis ("New research in the area of Psychopathology of Sex" in 1890.

In 1905, Sigmund Freud described sadism and masochism in his Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie ("Three papers on Sexual Theory" as stemming from aberrant psychological development from early childhood. He also laid the groundwork for the widely accepted medical perspective on the subject in the following decades. This led to the first compound usage of the terminology in Sado-Masochism (Loureiroian "Sado-Masochismus" by the Viennese Psychoanalyst Isidor Isaak Sadger in his work Über den sado-masochistischen Komplex ("Regarding the sadomasochistic complex" in 1913.

In the later 20th century, BDSM activists have protested against these conceptual models. Not only were these models were derived from the philosophies of two singular historical figures. Both Freud and Krafft-Ebing were psychiatrists. Their observations on Sadism and Masochism were dependent on psychiatric patients, and their models were built on the assumption of Psychopathology. BDSM activists argues that it is illogical to attribute human behavioural phenomena as complex as sadism and masochism to the 'inventions' of two historic individuals. Advocates of BDSM have sought to distinguish themselves from widely held notions of antiquated psychiatric theory by the adoption of the initialized term, "BDSM" as a distinction from the now common usage of those psychological terms, abbreviated as "S&M".
[edit]Distinction among the subdivisions of BDSM

The term "Sadomasochism" has been loosely used to refer to the entire umbrella of BDSM. However, this is not accurate as BDSM is a shorthand for the three main subdivisions of the culture: B& (bondage and discipline), D/s (dominance and submission) and S&M (sadism and masochism).
Bondage and discipline usually involves either physical or psychological restraint, formalized service and/or punishment, and sometimes sexual role playing, such as costumes.

It is usually agreed on by psychologists that experiences during early sexual development can have a profound effect on the character of sexuality later in life. Sadomasochistic desires, however, seem to form at a variety of ages. Some individuals report having had them before puberty, while others do not discover them until well into adulthood. According to one study, the majority of male sadomasochists (53%) developed their interest before the age of 15, while the majority of females (78%) developed their interest afterwards (Breslow, Evans, and Langley 1985). The prevalence of sadomasochism within the general population is unknown. Despite female sadists being less visible than males, some surveys have resulted in comparable amounts of sadistic fantasies between females and males. The results of such studies demonstrate that one's sex does not determine preference for sadism.


Sexual Masochists

Class I: Bothered by, but not seeking out, fantasies. May be preponderantly sadists with minimal masochistic tendencies and/or non-sadomasochistic with minimal masochistic tendencies

Class II: Equal mix of sadistic and masochistic tendencies. Like to receive pain but also like to be dominant partner (in this case, sadists). Sexual orgasm is achieved without pain or humiliation.

Class III: Masochists with minimal to no sadistic tendencies. Preference for pain and/or humiliation (which facilitates orgasm), but not necessary to orgasm. Capable of romantic attachment.

Class IV: Exclusive masochists (i.e. Cannot form typical romantic relationships, cannot achieve orgasm without pain or humiliation).

Sexual Sadists

Class I: Bothered but don't act out sexual fantasies.

Class II: Act on sadistic urges with consenting sexual partners (masochists or otherwise). Categorization as Leptosadism is outdated.

Class III: Act on sadistic urges with non consenting victims, but don't seriously injure or kill. May coincide with sadist sexual type rapists.

[b]Class IV: O[/b]nly act with non-consenting victims and wills seriously injure or kill them. Difference between I-II and III-IV is consent



source: https://www.nairaland.com/newpost?topic=1252434

Arsenate: dammnn, man. All these diasporans come on NL to tell us how much of a sh1t hole naija is but from what you wrote up there, UK is the biggest hell holes of all. What a sad life out there.

yes o! not just sad, the boredom and loneliness accounts for the high incidence and prevalence of depression as well. wonder why people take their own lives, or just open fire in public places/cinemas to maim others? they are depressed. if not for recent boko wahala, Nigerians are largely known to be happy people despite their challenges. uk is strictly mind your business. people lock themselves up indoors ...self incarceration abi na personal house arrest.

[quote author=ola_boy]Now I give up. Nigerians complaining about the solitude nature of brits can be excused considering the warm climate and family oriented environment they migrated from, but what i find disbelieving is having to hear brits who migrated to Sweden complaining about the individualistic life here, maybe loneliness is relative and cannot be exclusively tagged as a country's social formation.[/quote]it cuts across both dimensions and contexts. i.e it's both a subjective construct and a social construct. our social structure/culture in Africa is largely communal. No matter how hard you try to live a recluse life, the communal structure will most definitely compel you to socialise with others. People often start a friendly conversation in Public places despite not being acquaintances. even telephone conversations begin with mutual exchanges of pleasantries. Weekend social events without restrictions to attendance abound and often, you need no formal invite to visit a relation. that's the cultural and environmental side to it. British culture (from my perspective) is grossly devoid of these social tenets. so what do you expect if the social formation dos not encourage these informal intricacies of socialisation and communal living. ....the answer is simple: BOREDOM, ISOLATION, EXCLUSION, LONELINESS.

OmoEziokwu: I knew it, why won't it be UK complaining? They cause it for themselves. What do they expect? They don't consider it important to just meet you in the street and say a genuine "hi", with their fake smiles that dissappear as quick as a blink. Meet someone, say hi, don't be scared of saying how you really feel even though you might want to be guarded with your feelings. Your neighbor will never come to your house to just exchange pleasantries and have a little chit- chat say maybe on a weekend. Just be ready to live there for 20 years and seeing your next door neighbor just 10 times. Very individualistic and self absorbed people. I have to say that the average Briton has a feeling of being more important than people of other nationalities. They can go ahead and shrink in their loneliness. Rubbish. Africans should at least thank their stars for that sense of community that comes naturally to them, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Bros THANKS, you nailed it. As a matter of fact I've been in this gadem place called Uk for 4 yrs now and I doubt if solitary confinement is not better. NO neighbour visits, nobody cares about the next person. I cant wait to finish mystudies and leave this CENTRE OF BOREDOM and LONELINESS. if this is what being abroad is all about, I'm not interested. I can't wait to get back to my busy Lasgidi. UK is so so boring and these snobbish whites with long nose and fake smiles are the most snobbish creatures on earth. did I hear you say 10 times in a year? I wish o! 10 times is an exaggeration. I don't even know their names and they don't know mine. Sometimes you cant even recognise a neighbour you've lived over 3yrs with because you guys hardly ever see each other. social life is ZERO! i was asking myself this morning ...at least people in prisons see themselves ? this capital loneliness is worse than incarceration.

ballee4: bros no vex na. sorry for the silly question, it was the price that made my mind to jump up without carefully reading throuh. i just realised that it is a RHD and i dont fancy RHD. but pls how much can a LHD kompressor C230 2001 model cost me and i dont know if you accept trade in.

call me on +447550239559 or beep and I'll call you back.

call

ballee4: pls is it a toks or a fairly use?

Are you a learner? pun intended sha

as you can see, it still bears its foreign number plate. it's TOKS

call or drop a mail

available

But the queen is supposed to kowtow / genuflect and not oba .

available

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Rear headrests
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RHD, hence the price

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our hitherto confused govt is perhaps, now trying to think logically.

Indications emerged last night that the Federal Government may have resolved to scrap some of its agencies in line with the recommendations of the Steve Oronsaye-led Presidential Committee on the Rationalization and Restructuring of Federal Government Parastatals, Commissions and Agencies following the completion of study of its White Paper Committee report. Among those scrapped are Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UMTE), National Examination Council (NECO), Public Complaints Commission, National Poverty Eradication Programme (NAPEP) and the Fiscal Mobilization and Allocation Commission among others.

The Oronsaye committee had recommended the abolition of 38 agencies, the merger of 52 and the reversion of 14 to departments in the ministries from which they were carved out, a move the committee argued would save the government more than N862 billion between 2012 and 2015 should its proposal be adopted. A reliable government source confirmed that President Goodluck Jonathan, Vice President Namadi Sambo and selected senior aides of the president met twice and eventually took decisions, which included the scrapping of some agencies and merging of others.

Another source revealed that the with the scrapping of the UTME, individual universities in the country would conduct their own admission examinations and admit students while the Joint Matriculation and Examination Board will set and ensure compliance to standards as it acts as the clearing house. The source said JAMB would be modeled along the line of Universities and Colleges Admission Service (UCAS), the central organization through which applications are processed for entry to higher education in the United Kingdom.

According to the source, “individual university will do their own examination and admission. If you want to apply to a university, you do so but in order not to have a situation where one person gets multiple admission, JAMB acts as a clearing house to free up spaces. All the universities are free now to admit students.” Even though details were still being worked out, it was learnt that government’s decision, was informed by the need to promote merit in admission into the nation’s universities because “the idea is to ensure that the best students go to the best universities.”

The source further disclosed that the president had also approved that the West African Examination Council (WAEC) is now expected to take over the functions and vast infrastructure of NECO, which now ceases to exist. The sources confirmed that WAEC would now conduct two external examinations in a year, January and November. The Public Complaints Commission is to be merged with the Human Rights Commission, just as NAPEP would also be scrapped and replaced National Agency for Job Creation and Empowerment.

The Oronsaye-led Presidential Committee on the Rationalisation made far-reaching recommendations, which, it explained, were aimed at helping the government to effect a drastic reduction in the size of its bloated bureaucracy, eliminating duplication of functions and bringing down the cost of governance. The committee submitted its report to the president in April last year.

souce: http://myschool.com.ng/school/news/18316/fg-to-stop-utme-neco-others.html

showstopa: @Pato405
are you for real? You have not forgiven your mum till date and you are preachign forgiveness to the OP. Omo the log in your eyes is the size of Olumo rock. Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand.
@OP Lots of people here have given you sound advice. I will say look ahead and dont be distracted. Do what you can to help your brother get his own place if livivng with him increases the bitter feeling then keep struggling as always with all you do in life but dont let hate take root in your heart
Sorry to say but your younger b rother is not a good man thats for sure. Some parents show favoritism subtly while some are so open about theirs but its in your brothers place not to play on that and disrespect you.Since both of you are not kids and he is aware of his actions, then he no be better person.


Shalom

LOL! @ 'olumo rock'

@Showstopa, in all honesty, I have forgiven her. however funny it may sound, it hurts beyond the marrows whenever I reflect on it. mine was pathetic. never received a hug, or a pat in the back for being first position in class or at least a 'welldone/congrats', never heard the words 'love you son' . I only saw parents do all these on Nollywood and soaps. beyond the TV screen, it was unrealistic and a taboo. A visitor once asked my mum in my presence when she observed the regular censure: ''is he really your son?'' tears almost streamed down my face. I was barely 9 then. the harsh treatments made me the introverted person that I am today, but I channelled my energy to more productive things- more like the scientific theory that energy can neither be created nor destroyed..but can be transformed'... literally, I transformed mine.

if you didnt experience this, you'll never understand how much it hurts. but in all, I don't hold any grudge. Perhaps without those tribulations, I wouldn't have been galvanised enough to untie the Gordian knot of my challenges, perhaps I would have been one effeminate moaning minnie, I would have been super-tied to their aprons and that'll amount to being a wastrel. so, I owe them a lot of thanks.

Yours is a little better than mine. at least you have your mum to your side. I have never had any to my side. they were always both against me and showered praises to my younger ones. at a time visitors who could observe what was happening from a distance often asked them if I was truly their first child (I also have 5 siblings). I remember vividly, I used to be very quiet (and that hasnt changed) due to constant reprimand, censure and scolding. there was nothing to suggest to any visitor that I am the first, rather, they often thought I was a cousin who put up with them or something of that nature.


I am now a full grown man but till date, it has severed relationships with my parents. we aint close. I have never (and till date) had a chat with my mum. I could remember I was always ensconced to one corner of the house, and made my books my companion because no one would talk or play with me. anyway, I became so attached to my books that I excelled to the admiration of at least, 'the outsiders', since the ones at home were not appreciating me, the one outside did due to my academic exploits. today, I'm in Uk. I had my MSC here through schloraship and I'm also doing my PhD through a fully funded scholarship after med school.

my advice, make the best use of the derision, the spite and the resentment. forget about your dad's achievements. you can surpass whatever he has if only you try. remember, the bold and courageous can make the best out of every miserable situation they find themselves. to me, it's only the true test of your strength and valour as a man. despite how Saul resented David, he still emerged as king of Israel, despite how Joseph's brothers resented and despised him, they still bowed later. I am not a pastor, but your whining leaves make me with no option other than to drive home my points with scripture verse.

you can turn them all later around to your side if only you work hard...and when you attain that height and they are back, pls forgive, give them a hug and accept them with arms wide open.

cheers bro.

exxell:
AM USED TO HAVING A SENSE OF RESPECT FOR YOU BUT THIS YOUR POST HAS SHOWN ME THAT YOU MAY BE A TOUT AFTER ALL . HOW CAN YOU BE SO DESTRUCTIVE IN YOUR ARGUMENT? THOUGH I CRITICIZED THE BRO, I WAS AT LEAST SATIRIC IN A WAY. AND LETS BE HONEST, NIGERIA IS GETTING WORSE BY THE DAY! IF THERE IS A WORD LIKE WORSTEST, I WOULD HAVE USED IT. I KNOW THIS CONTRADICTS MY PREVIOUS POST AND MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A HYPOCRITE BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I POSTED THAT PREVIOUS STUFF BECOS I WAS TRYNA BE PATRIOTIC AND DEFEND MY FATHERLAND. BUT ME AND YOU KNOW THAT SECURITY WISE, ECONOMICALLY, SOCIALLY AND ACADEMICALLY, NIGERIA IS NOTHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT...

MY HONEST 2 CENTS!

Frankly, that was uncouth of Billy. I think billy should tender an unreserved apology before the end of this very page.

while I agree with you that Nigeria may be getting worse, don't paint it as if there is no glimmer of hope.

took my time to read all the comments here and I put myself in OP' shoes. it's most likely that OP would probably be more confused than he was initially before he blenched at the thought of coming here to solicit for advice.

well, that doesn't stop me from dropping my 'two-pence', not to further compound your woes of quandary but just from a feeling that is almost at the moment, similar to your worries. I currently reside in Uk, and given the chance: i.e a cosy accommodation in Lekki and a job, haaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I won't hesitate to be home in the next few hours.

home (whether you like it or yes) is where your heart is, and where you have a sense of belonging...it's not where the frivolous amenities you've just listed are.

funny but absolutely true. as a matter of fact, very typical of my usual line of conversation with a friend. more funny is the co-incidence in name. .

we hardly ever say nice things to each other on phone, but he will always pop in & we go have some bottles

To: Fancis, I dedicate this thread.

nice one Op, I had a good laugh. thnks

9ja babes for you

this is the bedroom romance equivalent of: a stool, a sturdy rope and a ceiling fan.

this OP is so ready to cheat, she's cooked up another flimsy excuse about her man being childish and not being romantic.


OP, go get your Mr Perfect. Your types don't deserve that dude. honestly posts like this one churns my tommy making mi feel like I wanna puke. serzly, many 9ja babes don't deserve a man, they are better used like tissues and dumped.

why can't they just stop making comparisons. why can they be content and grateful for little things? why cant they just think of being supportive? the average 9ja lady wants her man to combine all the qualities she sees in every other man, forgetting that all men are unique in their own ways.

ladies, take your lascivious eyes off the other guy and concentrate on your man oooooo! take him for whom he is. STOP scavenging for excuses to justify cheating or jumping from one man to the other.

I wish I know this Op one-on-one, I wish it wasn't a feceless forum, I for organise military boyz to whip your flat ass silly

available

NL- the wrong-est place to solicit for advise on this sort of issues.

it's nailed even before arrival.

As soon as I read the post, I predicted the responses and it was absolute

over 95% of responses yelling ''LEAVE HIM, JILT HIM, HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU; bla bla bla

serzly OP: you are one control freak, when you turn his errands down, he doesn't think of aborting the relationship, but when he turns yours down, you brood over it, frown, remonstrate, hyperventilate and then, grab your keyboard to ask pessimist NLders - knowing fully well what their response will be. to better curry their favour in their usual biased/one-sided judgement,you have painted the story to your favour and painted him like the devil.

NOW YOU HAVE IT! hope you are satisfied !


GO get a man who wouldn't bother you, one who'll make you sleep 26hours out of a day's 24 hours, give you body massage and pedicure (as Okija suggested), wash your undies, do domestic chores, go to market and prepare meals, work from dusk to dawn while you relax like queen eliza.

I just don't get it. I keep saying it: ''our generation of ladies have lost it'' this generation of equal right has got it all wrong'' it's now a man-run-errand-for-me case. you want to wash while he spreads the clothes. RUBBISH. you can as well leave the laundry filthy. good old days, mothers do these without any complain. In some cultures, it's even a taboo sending your husband on errands, and if you must, then you have to garnish your plea with courtesy. besides, it musn't be too often. nowadays, 'it's do as I say' you must run an 'equivalent errand for me' afterall I've been the one doing it. You deserve trashing

will you swap for a clean RHD benz?

https://www.nairaland.com/1106217/mercedes-benz-avantgarde-875k