₦airaland Forum

Kenny9857:
In your own language sir.

Please enlighten me on the language that call it ugwu

Hmm...

dupylola:
Good day house, please, I need advice. I came to the Uk Jan this year to study a 2 Years program. I am a married woman with kids so my husband and I planned that he would apply for dependant visa with the kids by March. Unfortunately due to the lock down, they couldn’t get the biometrics done and the worst happened,����my hubby died from covid 19 related disease last week.My life shattered but I have to keep moving���

I am planing to return to Nigeria to get the kids for biometrics but my heart bleeds for my husband after all his sacrifices . I am considering applying for his mum so she can help with the kids while I run around. Please, how can I go about this?? There’s enough fund to cover her maintenance fee.

@Just wise and all kindly advise.

My sincere condolence.

Naija246:
Audio virus

Probably becomes video virus when you test positive.

johnkey:
With the way our girls are shameless now, one would understand the poor man's plight. What a shame

Are those girls not sisters to the boys, if your family raised shameless girls, don't think it is so for every family. How children turn out to become is hugely dependent on parenting and family dynamics. Boys who turn out to become armed robbers, thugs, kidnappers, assassins, ritualists, fraudsters etc , I guess in your little mind are better off than those "shameless girls".

Hmm....sending money to any of those accounts is like pouring water into a basket. Any one who has extra to spare, should look around and personally help those who are genuinely in need.

LebanonCedars2:
Please how am I sure this is the real Lekan?

Nairalanders, is there a way I can confirm the genuineness of the Ops?

The guy, Lekzy239 you quoted created that username today as he claims his account was banned, confirm by having a video chat with him.

Lekzy239:
hi, this is lekan239, I have emailed you directly with my account please check your email sir, I got ban by a spambot when trying to post my number. So I opened this account. Zero, nine, zero, thirty four, seventy six, ninety four, fifty three

If you are the same person, write to the moderator to unban you rather than registering a new account to remove doubt.

emmaodet:
Yea, i understand you but no matter the choices we make, it will definitely hurt some people even if we think it is our life and we have our life to live.
The reason why the parent and family of the op are hurt is because they believe they gave birth to the said lady and it is her turn to do same just the way they did for her.
She not doing that in turn is hurting some people. We can't live life as if we are the only one on earth, we are social animals and a lot of our decisions are even been influenced by people around us, the society etc.
But all in all, to each is own. If someone doesn't want to marry, so be it. E no consign me.

Expectations are evolving. Let me give you an example, today in many igbo families that are Catholics, their daughters coming up with the intention to become a Reverend Sister which means no marriage nor children is very less likely to be met with opposition as they feel happy about it thus you see the family and the community show up in large numbers when she would be taking her religious vows in her religious order and the big reception that awaits her when she first visit home after her vows.

Families do feel proud that they have a Reverend Sister in the family, they feel privileged but in the 60s, 70s and up to the late 80s, many parents resisted it citing loss of bride price, son-in-law, grandchildren and loss of financial support but today it has changed.

Good development.

Sometimes, I wonder what "blessings" a man who walked away from his child(ren) without bothering to make provisions for them even if the relationship with their mothers have become strained has to give.

emmaodet:
Hmmmmmmm
Capslocked
These are some of the things my parent use when i don't give them enough from what they demanded.
We are only 3 boys in my family and am the first born.
After graduating and luckily got a job, parent my mum in particular placed a lot of burden and expectations on me.
I roofed there house, furnished it and they moved in. After that demand upon demand upon demand from me.
Gave my uncle who is her junior brother 1m to travel out after mum pestered me, gave her my first car (nissan pathfinder) after pressuring family to give it to her, co-sponsored my junior brother to duabi with 500k - now he is working in a company there earning about 250k per month, sponsored another of her family to dubai again late last year.
The most annoying of all is our last born. She told me he wants to go to Europe and i will need to support with 1m from the 4m he needs while others too will raise money. Told her this venture is not feasible because i know others won't drop any money and i can only give 500k that is comfortable for me. Now she said due to inflation and naira devaluation at black market, we will be needing 5m against the initial 4m and she plans selling my land of 1.5m while i still drop 500k making 2m in total.
My wife sparked that enough is enough. Wetin, kilode, se a man so eran meran ki ikan kan ikan pa ni - why would we tie two rams together while one kills the other. Oko o kin je ti baba ti omo ko ma ni ala - No matter the family bond, there should always be a demarcation between a father's land and his son. Never you merge it together.
Funny enough, i had the intention of selling the land several times before but my mum insisted i shouldn't sell it but build it but now that she needs money, the land can be sold.
Whenever i say No to there financial requests, she will start shouting and crying that she knows how she suffered on us, what she went through to train us, hiw she collected loans and cooperatives to make sure we become somebody in life but now that it is time for us to pay back, for her to sit down and start eating the fruits of her labour, we are always complaining.
That if we are considerate, even before she ask for A, we should have provided A B C because of her sacrifice on us, all this she will be saying after calling family meeting on my head with church pastors to mediate on it.
I can't even count the numbers of time pastors and family members have come to mediate on these issues.
Funny enough, it's not as if she is doing bad. She is a headmistress in govt. school earning about 170k per month and with the new minimum wage, she should earn 200k while dad retired as VP in secondary school and taking pension of 70k.
Our 3rd born is on my monthly pay of 20k per month yet always complaining that she is not enjoying me again especially since i got married, that i hardly give lump sum of maybe 100/200k unlike now that i always grumble before giving 20k.
I am really tired Capslocked. Really tired.
I'm working but i hardly buy clothes for myself or use good car or furnished my apartment to taste.
It has always been responsibilities upon responsibilities.

In all these, have you ever reflected over a situation should you loose your job or have health challenges that cuts your earning capacity, will your children' welfare be affected? Will your mum and siblings step in to assist with the responsibilities?

Let me cite an example, while growing up in Ojota, Lagos we had a neighbour who lived in a 3 bedroom apartment, he was unmarried and 5 of his younger siblings living with him while paying for the rent of another 3 bedroom in the next street where his 2 elders brothers and their families lived together. Every Sunday his elder brothers' children did come to eat at his place, that place was like a barrack.

This guy was then working with a foreign telecommunication company that was a technical partner to the now defunct NITEL, guy was living so fly and forming Jesus Christ of his family, he finally got married when he was in his early 40s and within a year after he got married, the company folded as NITEL could no longer meet up with the financial obligations.

The company gave him severance package alongside the official car he was using. Instead of him to make drastic changes, he continued to allow the siblings live with him and still paying the rent of the other flat, didn't repaint the car to give the impression he was still working with the company while hoping to get another job soon. Forward one year later, no job and expired rent. Had to move to a self contain apartment with the wife and daughter while the siblings dispersed. He used the car for taxi but the Peugeot 504 was consuming more than it was earning, he sold it off to at least to feed his family. This man struggled with some health challenges and died 7 years after he got married leaving behind a wife and 3 children, the oldest being 6. The widow sold cooked food at the chemical market Ojota to raise those children.

That is why it is common to hear in Nigeria people saying that their fathers carried the responsibilities of his family of origin but when he died or things became rough for him financially, relatives turned away.

In all, it is not selfishness for the welfare of self and your own children to come first before relatives.

4thFreedom:
I appreciate your response, but they are just kids, 7 and 10 years old respectively.
They refused to drink garri and I have done my best to make them to.
It's well.
God won't put us to shame.

They are not in a position to be selective about it, did you not get to read the story of the Kenyan woman who had nothing in the house but resorted to cooking stones to give her children the impression that they would soon get something to eat while hoping the children doze off.

Don't enable them, they are old enough to know the reality of your family. Though I know this is a fake story you are using to see if anyone will fall for your scam.

Mywd:
As a Woman you married and after sometime you could not get pregnant or give birth then you decide to Adopt & raise a child, After sometime miraculously you give birth...

Who will you call your first Child?

By legally adopting that child, he or she automatically become your first child and has same rights with the one that came after.

PureGoldh:
Lolz....042 na better state...Life is Good via dx end.

Happy Sunday to you my brother

Yeah, missing 042 real bad. I got the opportunity to visit and work in many places outside coal city....Ezeagu, Udi, Nkanu, Ibeagwa, Nsukka, Adani and so many other communities.

Missing palm wine from Udi like mad!

I'm

PureGoldh:
Odogwu nwOke....I bu nwa 042 ?

Nah, was there for uni but ended up spending 7 years there in total.

manuelreports:
Geny my crush.
Met her back then at New Heaven in Enugu
Aways down to earth and very humble
Happy Birthday achiever

You remind me of my hood back then! Ifite-Ukpo Street, New Haven.

Rozz:
Thats not what I'm implying but rather as a woman you can't be happy and fulfilled without being married or never married(its nature).Cases of domestic violence is on its own.

Life's happiness and fulfilment for both men and women is not exclusively tied to being married. Maybe Reverend Sisters who have opted not to be married in your context are living the most unfulfilled life because they are not being validated by being married to a man.

So limit it to "some women" and don't generalize it because it is a dangerous mindset.

Rozz:
piece of man,are men now meat? there's no lady that can be happy without marriage,dont be deceived

So you mean all married women are the happiest, who are those whose stories of domestic violence we read about?

Uncle is 34 abi they meant 43!

Hmm....

Glad her story has changed, as there has been an outpour of donations but how the poor breed without putting into consideration their financial situation is irritating, 8 children fed on proceeds from washing people's clothes and highest she earns in a day is around N1,000 and that is not even steady.

Your sister is living with low self esteem and low self worth even if the husband disfigures her, she ain't leaving that toxic marriage except as a corpse or as the culprit of killing the husband.

Scary!

Yawns.....

Blogfarms:
My girlfriend recently confided in me that she had "more than two" abortions for her ex boyfriend. She wasn't precise about the number.
I no go lie, the thing shake me.
If it was three, she would have said so, but she said more than two. Meaning it could be four.

The issue now is that, I'm being serious about her, I really love the girl but my heart de cut. If she no fit born nko. What if there was complication and she didn't know about it? Me I want pikin o
I am not judging her, every Saint has a past and every sinner a future.
Please I need "sensible" advice.

All these cooked up stories! How many abortions in total have your ex-girlfriends had for you?

Adventurous.

IgiveLadiesBj:
How do you like this combination for breakfast??

Bread and beans

I miss this collabo!

Painful.

Egungun don enter express!

I believe that if pre test counselling is being done as it being done for HIV, we will be hearing less of positive persons absconding.