₦airaland Forum

If you listen to most single ladies here and their advises, you will ruin your home.

Talk and discuss with your husband.
Don't let any unhappy Lady make you unhappy in your home through their dirty suggestions.

cyril83:
I don think he is, with the strategy of carrot and stick, bokoharam wouldn't have gone out of control.

What carrot approach did OBJ apply during the Odi massacre?


Now, they are dealing with bokoharam, the sponsors are getting uncomfortable!

Harbosede02:
Nice write up!*thumbs up*

Thanks

HSinclair:
My wife's sister has the habit of walking around in panties and bra, when she's sleeping in the living room she'll open her legs wide and her p*ussy will be showing,

The other day I was watching AIT and my wife went to the market, she came and sat near me and was rubbing my chest...

Now my wife went shopping and she's in my bedroom with black paynt and brazier and she's dancing to Woju and I close my eyes cos I don't want to see bad thing, but I just opened it now and she's naked...

My obolondo is now 9ft long saluting at her big booty and I don know what to do

My brothers and sisters please advice me, what should I do cos I don't want to commit adulting ?

How can a married man be talking like this?
Is this comedy or what?

faradexs09:
Insecurity sucks d life outta any relationship, neva expect too much, cos u'll be hrt broken, just flow keep ur head, neva lose it, u both shud be comfortable with d relationship or else it hits a rock, nd it takes a mind dt can kill d monster while it's young.

Exactly!

Kennywills7:
Insecurity! d worst disease and killer of relationships, The problem is dat once in a while insecurity sets in every relationship

Yes, we just constantly have to check ourselves to make sure insecurity hasn't set in.

Orijin101:
Gat nothing to do with relationship....

Now and later?

rubey:
What about a situation where your partner once cheated and due to that insecurity comes in?

You either breakup completely or trust him completely.

A second chance isn't a complete one until you have forgiven and decide to trust completely.

shininglite:
one of d best relationship post I hv read so far on nairaland.....God bless u Op

Thank you sir.

One thing that has often ruined relationships is the feeling of insecurity.
I saw this and I thought it might be helpful to someone.

1.  Stop trying to read minds.
Most relationship problems and associated social anxieties start with bad communication, which in turn leads to attempted mind reading.  Mind reading occurs when two people assume that they know what the other is thinking when they don’t.  This process of wondering and trying to guess what someone is thinking is a rapid route to feelings of insecurity and stress.

If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else.  If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative connotation.  Likewise, don’t make the people in your life try to read your mind.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.

It’s also important to remember that you aren’t suppose to know every little thing going on in the minds of others, even the people closest to you.  When you stop trying to read their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy.  Everyone deserves the right to think private thoughts.  Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can provoke a person to withdraw from a relationship to find space.  (Read Getting the Love You Want.)



2.  Stop looking for perfect relationships.
You will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and the right friends if you expect them to be perfect.  Even worse, the process of doing so will drive you mad, as you feel more and more insecure with every failed relationship that doesn’t live up to your fantasy of perfection.

We’re all seeking those special relationships that feel perfect for us, but if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to realize that there are no “perfect people” for you, just different flavors of imperfect ones.  That’s because we are all imperfect in some way.  You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways.

It takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws – the ones that truly define who you are – that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships.  Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for.  You’re looking for imperfect people who balance you out – the perfectly imperfect people for you.  (Angel and I discuss this process in detail in the Relationships chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)



3.   Stop judging current relationships based on past ones.
Think about those times when you passed an unfair judgment on someone merely because they reminded you of someone from your past who treated you poorly.  Sadly, some people pass judgments like these throughout the entire duration of their long-term relationships.  Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive.

If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.  So if you suspect that you have been making unfair comparisons between your present relationships and a negative one from the past, take a moment and consciously reflect on the hurtful qualities of this old, negative relationship, and then think of all the ways your present relationships differ.  This small exercise will help you let go of the old bricks and remind you that past pains are not indicative of present possibilities.



4.  Stop inventing problems that don’t exist.
Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage.  Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios.  We overlook everything but the plain, downright, simple, honest truth.

When you invent problems in your relationships, your relationships ultimately suffer.  Insecurity is often the culprit.  If you doubt yourself and you don’t realize your own worth, you will pass on any opportunity to let others care for you, and you will remain stuck with the insecurity issues that weigh you down.

The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive.  They feel out of control.  They imagine that the driver is not paying attention.  Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision.  They freak themselves out by assuming that the visions they have invented in their mind represents reality.

What you need to realize is that there are normal idiosyncrasies to any relationship.  There are ups and downs and mood changes, moments of affection and closeness and moments of friction.  These ups and downs are normal.  Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting to be a passenger in a car that has no driver.

Next time you feel insecure, and you catch yourself stressing about problems that don’t exist, stop yourself and take a deep breath.  Then tell yourself, “This problem I’m concerned with only exists in my mind.”  Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening in your life is an important step towards self-confidence.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)



5.  Stop focusing on the negatives.
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Even if it seems perfect now, it won’t always be.  Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful.  The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations.  It’s how two people accept and deal with the imperfections of their relationship that make it ideal.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to accept everyone into your life who is willing to accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you.  But it does mean that if there are occasional difficulties in your relationships, you don’t have to jump to the bold conclusion that the entire relationship is bad, and become so distressed that the relationship ends, or so insecure that the other person questions your intentions.

No meaningful relationship will always work flawlessly all the time.  Being too black and white about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble.  There will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good.  Insecure people constantly look for signs of what’s not working in their relationships.  What you need to do is look for signs of what is.

Having an appreciation for how remarkable the people in your life are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So notice their strong qualities, cheer for their victories, and encourage their goals and ambitions.  Challenge them to be the best they can be.  Every day, acknowledge just how amazing they are.


http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/06/20/stop-feeling-insecure-in-your-relationships/

[quote author=agurza post=31563149]mumu it's not about APC it's about dwindling revenue from the central.[/quote



when you are abusive, it depicts you as being unintelligent.
Try to make ur points without abusive words.

thanks

This is acute malaria.


Nobody that truly knows Jesus will ever have this type of unscriptural vision!

Ephemmm:
The same way GEJ pays blogger 50k during his 'dispensing visit' at Eko Hotel just a week ago with tax payers' money.



Why can't you admonish GEJ to stop the deduction of 40-50% from state's allocation despite the removal of subsidy , rising debt and vanishing reserves?

Before you open your stinking mouth, where do you expect him to get internal revenue to finance his administration in a state cannot be proud of two big firms? If a states like Lagos, PH etc can owe workers despite thier huge internally generated revenue, how much more is Osun?

My advice for him is just to find a way of paying workers salaries even if it involves borrrowing cos workers are nit smilling.

PH, Lagos and Osun, all APC.

CaptainAmerica1:
It would be settled soon


Meanwhile, read this

By May 29, 1999, we had 23 PDP governors, 6 AD, and 7 APP. 16 years later, this is their story:

(A) PDP (23 governors)
1. James lbori - PDP Delta - in prison for looting
2. DSP Alamieseigha - PDP Bayelsa - Ex-convict for looting
3. Lucky Igbinedion - PDP Edo - Ex-convict for looting
4. Peter Odili - PDP Rivers - In court for looting
5. Chimaroke Nnamani - PDP Enugu - In court for looting
6. Ayo Fayose - PDP Ekiti - In court for looting
7. Rasheed Ladoja - PDP Oyo - In court for looting
8. Alao Akala - PDP Oyo - In court for looting
9. Gbenga Daniel - PDP Ogun - In court for looting
10. Ikenna Ohakim - PDP Imo - In court for looting
11. Adamu Muazu - Bauchi (current PDP National
Chairman) - In court for looting over N19 Billion from the state treasury
12. Joshua Dariye - PDP Plateau - In court for looting
13. Jolly Nyame - PDP Taraba - In court for looting the state treasury
14. Abdulahi Adamu - PDP Nassarawa - In court for looting the state treasury
15. Boni Haruna - PDP Adamawa - (newly appointed minister by President Jonathan) -
In court for looting the treasury
16. Saminu Turaki - EX-Gov. PDP Jigawa - In court for looting the treasury
17. Orji Uzor Kalu - PDP Abia - In court for looting the treasury

(B-). AD to AC- 6 govs.

NO Ex governor has ever been taken to court for treasury looting.
NOTE:- Tinubu of Lagos was dragged to Code of Conduct Tribunal for having foreign accounts while in power against government
policy of zero foreign account for public officials. He was found not guilty because he had the accounts before his election to the office of governor.
Case dismissed!

(C) APP - (ANPP) 7 governors
1. Attahiru Baffarawa - APP Sokoto - In court
for looting (he is now in a PDP member)
2. Prince Abubakar Audu - ANPP Kogi - In
court for looting.

So APC made up of AD/ AC/ACN of the past is
leading the pack. Does it not make perfect
sense to allow these people to lead at the center?

Are you OK?

adesinaabiodun:
According to her she's not even a virgin! And the one million naira question is How did the scene hap? What hap 2 the guy that disflowerred her and previous guys that have been penetrating her b4 her step dad? Was she in a separate room from other kids? Did she enjoy it? How many bottles of drinks did she drink and lastly has the Man ever made Another move coming closer 2 her?

Cheeers

by the time they are thru answering theses your questions, the world will end!

adesinaabiodun:
According to her she's not even a virgin! And the one million naira question is How did the scene hap? What hap 2 the guy that disflowerred her and previous guys that have been penetrating her b4 her step dad? Was she in a separate room from other kids? Did she enjoy it? How many bottles of drinks did she drink and lastly has the Man ever made Another move coming closer 2 her?

Cheeers

by the time they are thru answering theses your questions, the world will end!

Were you raped?
were you drugged?

if not, how is he a maniac and you are not?
'he's acting like nothing happened', pls, how do want him to act?
like something happened?
you want him to start begging you and become emotionally trapped by you?



Leave that man to enjoy his marriage!

falconey:
Good day pals, this our 4th month she base in kano, in her early 20s and a virgin( confirmed by me), I base in lagos we both school in the same UNIVERSITY am a year above her. We are currently on long break which distanced us, in this case we communicate on daily basis to keep our affection running.
We were chatting on thursday evening(march 5) that's when she gave me a shock by telling me she lied she isn't a virgin that she lied so that I can love her more and treat her like she is special. That's when the animal in me came out I started blasting her on what a beautiful liar she is and all( before then I begged her if is some kind of mind game she should stop). This went all day till friday(march 6), she called all day which I rejected throughout.
saturday(march 7) morning she texted me saying she was testing me, then I called that's when she explained that her cousin sister asked her to test me that if I knew she isn't a virgin I would love her less that she did a mistake by telling me she is a virgin( now right here am flabbergasted because I didn't know she was a virgin before I asked her out).
I love this girl but the prank shake the hell out of me.
I don't know what to think, wether she cooked up the story or is really a test and why would a cousin give such advice?

Landers please I need your mature serious advice.

confirmed by you yet you were blasting her?

so, how did you confirm it and yet got rattled when she told you she wasn't a virgin?

what on earth is wrong with this religiously hypnotised people we have in Africa?
If the bible was written by Nigerians, the world would be in trouble.

Is sex a sin? Forget about who is doing it and when it is done. Is sex a sin? who created sex?

Do you think God will be happy to have a couple who is sexually starved and unhappy in church or a couple that is sexually satisfied and happy in church?


The true answer to these questions will liberate many.

PAT4HOT:
Fellow Nairalanders, I am not attending a white garment church or the likes but a decent pentecostal church that believes in the teaching of the bible, but my girl wants me to change it in order to sustain our relationship.

Although I love her, I'm not comfortable with any other church doctrines (especially orthodox that she falls in), I love my church doctrines too.

So please advice,what should I do?

And if you break up with her, what will happen?

sokotoburundi:
i am quite not suprised, if a igbo man can keep his mother in a cupboard while she vomits spendable papers endlessly what is menstrual flow,faeces?

I wonder how someone will go to school and end up as a tribal warlord and ethnic bigot!

Smartresult:
Why waste N200k when u can make that same amount in US dollars . Click my signature to start making $500 daily , without spending a kobo, register to get ur free website , send ur brothers, sisters, friends and church members to join you.
They will also get their free website to start making money and fight jobless.
It is absolutely free, you have nothing to loose. An investment free opportunity, try it and pass testimony to others. Click my signature to get access now!

I'd like to know more about the business in ur signature.

femolala001:
I'm sorry if my comment is sentimental but let's be realistic here. Did u see any other tribe's name apart from igbo name on the obituary?

If I see something wrong or absurd with a Yoruba person or group, will I be right to generalise that its the problem with the entire Yoruba race?



#mind you, I'm not igbo#

femolala001:
I fear ibo people o! They can go to any length just to get the money by any means! R.I.P to the dead!
IGBO KWENU!!!

Is everything OK with you?
Must you generalise and show your tribal sentiments on a public forum?

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

See where people are pampering a serial cheater and a greedy being.
continue, your eyes will soon open!

Dyt:
My spec
Tall slim handsome dude

[/s][quote author=Dyt post=31283046]Awwww




nope, "loaded dude", that's ur spec.
if he is tall, slim and handsome but broke, will he be ur spec?

Cat Island': Tourists flock to Japanese island Aoshima, where felines outnumber humans six to one


Tourists are flocking to a remote island in southern Japan, where an army of feral cats now outnumbers humans six to one.

People first migrated to the 1.6-kilometre island of Aoshima 380 years ago and established a fishing village, bringing cats to deal with mice that plagued fishermen's boats.

The island, a 30-minute ferry ride off the coast of Ehime prefecture, had been home to 900 people in 1945. Now, more than 120 cats swarm the island with less than 20 humans, all pensioners aged between 50 and 80.

According to Japan Daily Press, islanders said cat numbers began to shoot up about a decade ago. As the human population decreased, the cats' breeding went unchecked, locals said.


Now, boatloads of tourists from the mainland descend daily on Aoshima, visiting what is locally known as Cat Island.

The cats of Aoshima are not too picky, surviving on the rice balls, energy bars or potatoes they get from tourists.

"There is a ton of cats here, then there was this sort of cat witch who came out to feed the cats which was quite fun," said 27-year-old Makiko Yamasaki.

"I'd want to come again."

The allure of cats is not surprising in a country that gave the world Hello Kitty, and cat cafes that have long been popular in Tokyo, catering to fans who can't keep the animals at home because of strict housing regulations that often forbid pets.

Residents of the tiny island say they do not mind the intrusion of gawking tourists, as long as they are left in peace.

"If people coming to the island find the cats healing, then I think it's a good thing," said 65-year-old Hidenori Kamimoto, who makes a living as a fisherman.

"I just hope that it's done in a way that doesn't become a burden on the people who live here."




http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-03/tourists-flock-to-japans-cat-island-aoshima/6278128

farano:
♥ When they help you choose your clothes and watch you get dressed!

♥ Not knowing how to take compliments. Yeah we love how shy you act sometimes

♥ When they hug you from behind & whisper sweet things in your ear.

♥ Waking you up even in the middle of the night just to have sex

♥ It's very sweet when a guy tries to notice you

♥ When they make their first move to kiss you.

♥ A guy looks sexy when he just looks in your eyes and smiles.

♥ It's cute how a guy in love can't even lie to his girlfriend convincingly.

♥ When they show you their emotional side

♥ He says I love you every day and he means it!

♥ When they give you cute nicknames

You can add yours ladies

Did you notice that all the things you said, no mention of the lady's brain, mind or character?

kaiii. because of election, every dick, harry and tom will touch my President!

Don't worry, let him win, if you like organise 1 million youths, he won't come!

smithy90:
Well I met this guy,he said he was seperated from wife,so beleived fell for his sweet talk,now am pregnant he doesn't want to know and is very much still with his wife,I told her and he thinks I was out to destroy his marridge when I wasn't,he lied to me and her,I wouldn't off gone near him if I knew he was still with her but now am pregnant he made it very clear he doesn't want to know,should I just leave him too it and carry alone or try make him see sense

If you were my sister, I would have slapped you.
nonsense.
why didn't you investigate before opening your legs for him?
young and single guys will be asking you out, you will say no. its a 'separated' man that you want to marry,

ireneony:
biracial guys are exotic in nature.
biracial guys are in vogue now.
biracial guys are the best.

I wish to visit the moon and have my wedding in the sun!



if wishes were horses....

searching4love:
U are a packaged idiot for failing to mind ur business. I'm not posting here to impress you and i don't give a Bleep about how u feel. If you don't like my post i suggest you get a rope and do the needful. Mumuni

The funny thing is that you comment ignorantly and when corrected, you still refuse to change.