₦airaland Forum

Samantha124:
I have two brothers-in law and the first one started dating my sister while still in high school, him and I have that good brother and sister relationship. Sometimes we can even spent about 30 minutes talking over the phone and discussing about life in general and him telling me about the kids, that's how close we are.

As for the second brother In law, he started dating my sister while she was still in college, him and I have had a bit of differences in past because he has a drinking problem and I sometimes just don't like the way he behaves when he's drunk. But I accepted him as my brother in law because my sister loves him despite his drinking problem.

The main problem with my second brother in law started back in 2021, we were having a party at home and I decided to go to bed before everyone because I was tired. It happened that this brother in law of mine was drunk and he started embarrassing my sister and she decided to take him to the other room in the house and asked him to stay there. I was in my room sleeping, but not yet asleep when my room door opened and at first I thought it was just my mom, or one of my aunts or cousins. I expected the person to switch on the light since I switched it off, but this person started walking towards my bed. I lifted my head to check who it was and I found out that it was my second brother in law, I immediately dismissed him from my room.

I told everyone about it the following day except my father and my then boyfriend, who's now my fiance and they all laughed it off and said he was just drunk and lost, that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. Fine, I let it go... Last year in August a close relative of ours was getting married and everyone traveled home to prepare for the wedding.

A day before the wedding my parents and two sisters decided that they were going to spent the night at the relative's place as they were help preparing for the wedding the following day, but I and my other sister were told to go home with our nephews and nieces... Later in the evening my sister brought my brother in law to the house and he had started embarrassing her again because he was drunk.. I was already in my room when they arrived, though I was not asleep, I decided to go and check on them because I can't stand my brother in law whenever he's drunk.... Apparently my sister immediately prepared a room for him to sleep in but he turned it down and said he was okay with sleeping on the couch in the living room... The room used to be previously my sister's before she got married and it's a bit far from the living room.

But mine is close to the living room, after he refused to go to the room that was prepared for him, my sister ended up giving him a blanket to sleep on the couch and she drove back to the relative's place. Everything seemed fine and we all went to sleep. While I was in my sleep I could hear some footsteps but at first it was like a dream, but then they started sounding like they were getting closer and they started to sound real... I immediately woke up and found my brother in law standing on my side of the bed, I jumped up from the bed and asked him what was he doing in my room, but he started apologizing and told me of how he thought it was the bathroom.

I was so scared I kicked him out of my room and locked the door, I checked the time and it was around 2am.. I Immediately called my sister and explained to her what her husband did and asked her to come and fetch him because he was scaring me... But she told me to just lock the door and don't mind him... I couldn't get some sleep since then and he came back to the door at around 4am and attempted to open it again, but it was locked.

In the morning I waited for him to leave the house first before I could get out of my room, I told the sister I was with in the house about it and she suggested that I tell Mom because Dad was going to overreact... I then told Mom and she said she'll see what she can do, I was hoping that she'll warn him about it, but to my surprise, she didn't do anything about it... I was hurt, but I let it go, again.

I could've told my fiance about it, but I didn't because I knew that there was going to be a fight if I did, and I didn't want a fight.

Now this past Thursday we traveled home for Easter and I was so happy to see my family again... As usual, we had a family chillax on Friday and everyone came through to hangout, this time my fiance was also there.. later in the afternoon I decided to go take a nap and I left everyone outside, as I was napping, I felt someone touch me and at first I thought maybe it was my fiance... I was shocked when I found out that it was my brother in law and he was trying to have his way with me but fortunately, I managed to screaming and everyone came running.

A fight broke out between him and my fiance and I was so scared because my brother in law is the kind of a person who likes carrying a gun with him, but they were separated... My father got to find out that I complained to my mom before about my brother in law, but she didn't do anything about it and now he's mad at my mom for letting things get this far.

Now the family is divided... I love my sister, nephews and niece, I don't want to cut ties with them because of her husband and their father, but I don't know how I'm going to do it because I don't want anything that has to do with my brother in law.. Some say I should press charges for attempted rape, while others say that I should let the family elders intervene... I'm still confused right now, I don't know what to do.

I just can't help but feel guilty that if I had told my Dad about the whole thing from 2021, all of this would've been prevented.

Do you have a problem with locking rooms when sleeping when you know you have a predator around you?

Marvellsmart:
I just found out last night that my husbandto be is gay. Like he is into men. I stumbled upon his phone yesterday night
and saw his chats with his best friend, the supposed best friend that returned from South Africa because of our wedding next week.

We have planned our wedding next Saturday, everything is set. We have dated for four years and never for once did I suspect that he was into men.

In the chat, he was professing love to his best friend. Telling him how he has missed him and his pen!s.

How he had enjoyed last night with him, I even saw my fiance nπdes in their Whatsapp.

I am losing it, please help me. I went to his house for the weekend, on Saturday, he had left me and returned late at night without knowing he was going to have s.ex with his best friend. I just left the house this morning without him knowing cause he is a banker and he leaves home early. I left his door open, packed all my properties and haven't talked to him

He has been calling me since but I am not taking his calls. I couldn't concentrate at work today.

What should I do?

Please help me
love this man so much, he has been a blessing, and I am pregnant for him, but then, why this??

Should I cancel the wedding?
Should I confront him?
I'm confused
I want to run mad.

July, 2022. You wrote "I can't date a broke gal'.

Now, you are saying "your husband to be...".


Before we talk about the imaginary 'gay husband to be', can we talk about you first?

Are you a hermaphrodite?

Or are you also gay?

Or, you just wake up and post whatever non.sense that enters your mind?

KnowledgePower7:
Lets call her toya
We have been talking since november last year
We have only meet once at shoprite
Since then i have invited her couple times and she always find excuse
In december i call her and tell her lets meet
She agree but at last minute she bring up. Excuse
On febuary i arrange for us to meet
She bring up another excuse
On easter sunday i call again
She say she dey travel go villa for easter

She has been complaining of bad phone
So today i wanted to suprise her
I called and told her lets meet
She agreed to meet by 5
After 5 i was at shoprite checking out a 38k nice sharp phone
I call her she say she dey on her way
I tell her say i dey shoprite if she arrive make she flash me
I didnt tell her the phone i bought for her

So after waiting for her i still dey wait
She then called and said we should postpone our meeting till tomorrow
Then started giving excuses

I was so pissed of i just told her no problem and end the call
I plan to never call her again for life
So i gave the phone to one of her friend that i talk with
I told her that i just decided to do mothering sunday for her, she was shocked

Long story short, i have recieved upto 4 missed calls from toya
I think her friend told her how i visited her shop and gave her new phone as gift

Im planning on blocking her number
Or
Should i tell her the phone was bought for her but since she didnt come i gave the phone to her friend
What should i do?

You wanted to buy a phone for a girl you have only met once and you are asking how to pepper her?

Are you not already pepered as you are now?

Bekeey:
Good morning my people, please pardon my grammatical errors and long writeups. I'm curiously in need of your help to help me decide if I should confront her or not. This is the problem, traditionally I got married to my wife this January 2023 and by grace of God our wedding is coming this July 2023, our IV is already out, we have got 45% of the Wedding needs already, like Asobi clothes, her own clothes and my clothes too, we have also booked for Decorations, DJ, MC etc.

So, here is the issue that I need to confront her or probably council the Wedding because since I got noticed what has been going in my absent, I wasn't myself for past 3days, I am emotionally exhausted. Here is the problem, there is thus guy that always call her late in the night from 10pm, whenever I asked her who was that, she always tell me is just a friend that they have known right from secondary school, that she knows her girlfriend that nothing is between them. I asked her,did he know that you are married, she said of cause, he is aware. I said OK, that day passed, so the call kept coming same time 10pm but not everyday. Later I began to notice that the guy doesn't call in the night again maybe because she have asked her not to call her by that time again. So 3days ago, I had access with her phone, my brothers and sisters, I was shocked, behold the person that told me she has nothing to do with him that is just a friend. All there conversation in that chat was sweetie, sweetie, that's what they call each other. Though, I found out my wife doesn't give him that chance that she's only interested to eat his money because I saw a receipt of 20k he sent to my wife. The guy was seriously asking for her nude videos which she didn't send to her but she instead sent him stickers. The guy will send her some videos showing her how he will sock her breast, and one hot round of sex, my wife will just replied him OK. Last chat my wife chatted him was where she is begging him for 50 to 100k to pay back by June. She don't have anything doing, I wonder where she will get the money to pay him back. Till now the guy have not replied him. I can say she has not started cheating on me because, she just relocated from Awka to Abuja where I leave and she doesn't know anywhere yet. She is always at home. So where I'm confused now is, is she sending him her nude and delete it at instant or she is just playing ▶️the guy? Even at that, as a married woman 👩did she suppose to engage in such conversation with a man? And she is already pregnant, 16weeks pregnant precisely.

Please house, what should I do in this situation, should I confront her or to keep monitoring her but the fact is, it still disturbs me why my wife a married woman should be having such discussions with a man.

What do you think cheating is? Just having sex with another person? Cheating is emotional involvement with another.

You need to confront her. Let her realize her actions are wrong and she should call the guy in your presence and tell him about you.

If she doesn't, well

kyber:
A girl I borrowed 15k to solve one issue like that blocked me on all social media account and she doesn’t pass my area any more. I wouldn’t have given her the money but she was so cute and with the way she begged I thought she would refund my money back.
The money I borrowed her was for my school departmental and faculty dues plus 3 days feeding money .

Why are all girls self centered and wicked ?
What do I do now ?
Please help with advice

You desperately want to appear Fo.olish by this attention-seeking lie of a post...

But foolishness will be angry if we call you Fo.olish. You are beyond fo.olish

Warl0ck:
Pls help;
There is this particular girl that i love but i am sure i wont marry her.

I only like her for dating but not for marriage.

In the other hand, i dont want her to date or marry another nigga.

What do i do now?

I dont want to marry her and dont want another guy to marry her.

Your name is the problem. A warlock is a wizard, which you are. This is a witchery behaviour. Witch.

NotChildofDoom:
please take my case serious. I know my case has become a joke here, considering how I lament

Please just see me as someone undergoing a change in life. Just like any other addict of drugs, women, thuggery etc

I am fighting it. I know my triggers. I will work on it

You are NOT undergoing any change in life.
You don't even want to change. You are like these healthy beggers on the street, wanting to do nothing but beg.

You keep using the 'Addiction' mantra to excuse yourself from the repercussions of your deliberate actions and manipulative wickedness.

Woe unto anybody here that will give you money because you don't need money. You need to go for a therapy session. See a psychiatrist or psychologist. As long as you can't tell the clear steps you are currently undergoing to stop this shameful behavior, then you are still revelling in the so-

Heathrow44:
A newly married Nigerian woman has gone online to seek help from her dilemma of having to choose between her husband and ex-boyfriend.

She disclosed that she got married last month, and her ex has only recently returned to her life after being abusive during the relationship and leaving her when she fell pregnant


She said;i

"I need serious help... I got married last month to the man of my dreams, he is my long term friend. We reconnected and things worked out for us. We got married last December because he's not based in Nigeria, he's bases In the US,
he's a very good man, he loves me immensely, he provides for me, I never lacked anything since we met, he makes sure I'm good. He knows my family and accepted us the way we are he is caring, he is simply perfect. The issue is I don't love him that much. I do pity him because sometimes I show it to him but I can't do anything about it.
I still have deep feelings for my ex who maltreated me so bad, abused me and showed me how bad love could be. After everything he has put me through I still love and have serious feelings for him. My ex got me pregnant a few times and whenever I inform him, he would ignore me after asking me to get rid of it. I lost my self esteem, he never cared about my feelings then. My well-being meant nothing to him. He cheated on me countless times and made me look like a fool. I saw hell while we were together.
The issue is after all he has done my heart still beats for him, a lot more than for the man I married. Recently my ex reached out and told me he had intentions of marrying me. He also said getting married to my husband in such short time meant I was cheating, I had never cheated on him for good 4years we were together I met my husband when he had started ignoring me because I told him I was pregnant.
He abandoned me for months then came back when I had already met my husband and we have fixed date for our wedding .I'm just so shattered I don't know how to control my feelings over my ex I even messaged him yesterday but seriously I don't like what's going on now I just need help and advice. My ex is handsome, fair, tall and rich, my husband is handsome, dark, richer than my ex but he's not very tall. Asides that, he is he's a sweet man, I really want someone to help me please, I need advice.

She's an idiot. She should have been used for sacrifice as a baby.

LarochelE:
I don't know what I've done wrong. When I met my woman in 2020,she had a child. She told me the whole story behind the boy and her ex. We started dating nonetheless, even though the story she told later prove to be false. But I loved her and the boy respected me and follow my lead.

However, things started going really bad since last year. Sex becomes an heavy duty. About two months ago, she told me we should put a brake to sex and focus on raising her child if I truly love her. Why will I keep spending but then you let me realize I can't access your vagina? And you don't want me to find sex elsewhere. Despite all my begging for sex everytime she always refuse. I told her best friend about this and she told me to be patience with her. But I'm tired. All my earnings, I used most to take care of her, and we've not even married yet

This morning, she told she wants to change the school her son is attending and gave me the bills. But because she Just next my house and denied me sex, I was angry.

Now, she blocked me for voicing out. I have called to beg, she isn't hearing any of it.

I'm just confused at this point

You are stup.id. Idi.iotic. your head is not correct. Because of sex and vag.ina, you are behaving like someone that was charmed.

You have begged? Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby? What the hell is wrong with you?

People like you will not stop until that manipulative woman finishes your life completely.

Leave that woman now, if you want to have a fruitful life

ronalmagic10:
Don't cry much. Just call only Nnamdi cownu we won't beat u

Once Tinubu enters aso rock, Nnamdi Kanu is a gonner

Simon ekpa will be brought back to Nigeria to govern the eastern region

I promise

Stop writing when drunk or asleep

Lifeinbits:
Myself and my girlfriend have been dating for almost three years that she sometimes stays in my house too. I have always had the intention of traveling abroad but i don't know how, so last year my girlfriend brought the idea of traveling and how she wants to try US study route and i encouraged her to do so. I also supported her so much with my money by helping her to pay her application fee and TOEFL exam. While doing all these, we had a conversation and she told me that if she is able to get a fully funded offer that we will be going together and I will be going with her as dependent. Now my girlfriend has gotten admission but she is yet to apply for visa and she has changed plans. She does not want me to go with her rather she is advising that I should also use the study route ifi want to travel.

Note : we had the intentions of getting married but right now she doesn't want us to get marry.

Igbos have an adage "Ihe emere n'enyi n'ala n'enyi". (What was done in the context of boyfriend and girlfriend goes away with boyfriend and girlfriend).

Meaning that a man cannot say because he paid the school of a lady when she was in school while they were friends, then he won't pay brideprice before marrying her.

Oga, wisdom should teach you that you shouldn't be supporting your girlfriend to travel while you don't have an independent plan of your own.

The reward for a help rendered during friendship is "thank you" and not marriage.

Upset700:
This issue was actually asked by a close friend.
A friend of mine is in a relationship with her supposed best friend.she says he is everything she always wanted from a guy.he ticks all boxes.
But.....he is broke.
He just graduated and is waiting to serve.
The thing now is while he is waiting or even before graduating,he never had that hustling spirit like her.
He relies on family for everything.right now he stays in his family house...
When asked how what his future goals where,he said he didn't want to be pressured.
That he understands the need for money but doesn't see it as his happiness.
He seems very comfortable with where he is.
He is certain when he is done serving,he will get a job which we all know is on probability.
What she is asking is.. should she still stick around since he is just broke but still an amazing person or move on cus he screams lazy?

Someone that just graduated and you people are putting him under this kind of pressure?

If it is your brother, would allow him to be pressured like this?

This guy just graduated for christ sake.

What on earth is wrong with you people?

Everybody will find their level soon.

You or your friend I'd asking this because another guy is already whispering into your ears.

Leave, if you want to leave but don't pressure him.

Your friend, why is she not hustling? Is she crippled? Why is she waiting for a man to hustle for her?

Must you people offer advice to anybody that just shows up asking for one?
This guy is clearly an attention deprived individual seeking for relevance here.

Look at his previous post on the family section, he posted about his wife of more than 10 years wanting to leaving him and now it's a girlfriend?

I can tell you that this scenario is a concorted figment of his restless imagination.

Stop wasting your counsels on people like this

Hatrick01:
I assaulted my girlfriend just two days ago.
After apologising, she accepted the apology.

But to my own suprise, thesame day she accepted the apology, later in the evening, she called me and told me that a group guys harassed her sexually.
I was a bit mad when he told me that.

She added that the guys touched her ass and tickled her breast.

I was mad when she told me that story until she told me the guys location.
That was when i started suspecting if she is really trying to set me up.

She wants them to beat me up.

Or what do u think?

Should i go ahead confront those guys?

You are afraid of your fellow guys but not afraid of assaulting a lady?

If it is true that you assaulted a lady, your type ought not to live with humans. Your place should be with worms and millipedes.

You deserve no place in a civilised society.

AntiChristian:
How many times did he attend Synagogue in the whole NT?

Is it like your weekly Church?

No be Church Jesus go! Na today Christians dey go Church!

Synagogue was every Saturday for every jew. The bible said the custom of Jesus was going to the Synagogue.

If you want to use Jesus as an example of not going to church, also use him as an example of going to the Synagogue.

You shouldn't cherry pick, else, that's hypocrisy

lazynairalander1:
Last week I had an interview for a data analyst teaching job, after series of interview process which includes.
Analyzing data with Excel and BI
Extracting and cleaning data with Python &SQL
Modeling, analyzing and visualization with R.
Though my Python prowess wasn't that good but I was told that what they needed is a data analyst who can handle R very well and I really impressed in that aspect.

I showed my data analysis projects on the above software excluding Python. Then we went to oral interview which led to the salary part. I was asked to name my price.
I told them to give me a breakdown on how many days I will be coming to work because I learnt it will be part time teaching job, the interviewer agreed to mail me my schedule.

I was hoping it will be weekend (like Friday evening, Saturday & Sunday) only for me to realized it will be Mon-Thur (that's not part time, I told the manager or so).
The worst part is that they are willing to pay me 10k/week for the job and I will be paid each week I come to work which means it's only the weeks the students avail themselves that I will teach and be paid.

Those tech pay such ridiculous amount or am just unlucky?
What am I expected to do with 10k weekly?
Transport?
Data?
Food?
Electricity?
What exactly?

I was furious though and I am still furious.

Does tech pay such ridiculous amount or am I just unlucky? What has luck or unluck got to do with this now?
Just because you were offered a terrible salary, you have started thinking you are unlucky?

Having a good skill is one thing, having a good mentality is another thing.

AntiChristian:
Jesus didn't create nor attend church!

He attended synagogue consistently, are you attending synagogue consistently?

Ndubuisipaul1:
my fiancee told my younger brother that she will send him out of my house if we get married . She was joking, but it didn't sound like a joke to me .

let me tell you how this started. my younger told my fiancee jokingly, that he will be sending her on errand anyhow, when she marries me. Although he went too far for saying he will be sending her on errand anyhow . But he has every right to send her on errand because he senior her. She then replied that if my brother do anyhow, when we get married she will ask me to send him away from my house. At this point I stop seeing the whole discussion as joke. I asked her to repeat what she said, she repeated it again (take note: she was saying everything jokingly)

I told her right away that if my brother comes visiting when will get married, she will not send him away. She said she will use her woman power to make me send him away.

She went further to ask me, that if they ask me now to choose between her and my brother who would I choose . I told her I would choose my brother ( she could see the seriousness in me).

And I really meant it, any girl that will separate me and my brother will have to use jazz .

This my younger brother established the business that I am doing today. Has done countless number of things for me .

We don't joke with each other, and she knows that.

So am really scared, could this be a joke ? even though it a joke. How can a woman joke that she will separate two brothers ?

Nairalanders please help a brother with your advice. is this a red flag ?

First things first.

1. Your brother, whether older or younger, no matter how many years and the age difference between him and your wife, has no right to send your wife on any errand. She is your wife and should be respected. (that is, if and when she becomes your wife).

2. She was not joking. She will send him out. If you go ahead and marry her, you will have to choose between the two. If you don't want to find yourself in that situation, better choose well now.


For her to ask you that question, if they ask you to choose between...., she is already contemplating the fact that you will have to make that choice or she will make you do it.

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).
 
When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.
 
I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.
 
She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.
 
Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.
 
The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her. 
 
Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?
 
N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

If you marry that girl, wave bye bye to your family.

Your sister staying with you or not is none of her business.

But, that girl will manipulate you until your family is completely disintegrated

Zeal0000007:
Pals I'm still trying to find my true Match, the rib of my ribs, someone that will understand and see future with me , even as e no dey today, e no dey tomorrow, someone that will sow and ripe with me , someone that will love and respect me. I won't promise her heaven and earth, but inasmuch she remands with me, life will be comfortable.

I stumbled on this gal on Facebook, she's exact my spec, thick, big hips with big booty (big yansh) lol, young and fair in complexion and we are from the same state. the south south, and i so much like her and we are in the same town.

After talking on Facebook I asked for her contact and she gave it to me. I told her I will love to see her she said no problem. She gave me a day and where to meet (an eatery) but pals i must be honest , I didn't have a dime at the moment, I work offshore though as a trainee coming back home from work, i stayed at home for 7months no work no pay, I was broke at the moment. So I posted her that I'm not in town that as soon as I'm back I will meet her , she said no problem.

Since I didn't meet her at where she said we should meet , I resorted to chatting with her on WhatsApp since I noticed she was on WhatsApp. First time I demanded to know what she's into , be it schooling or she's learning a trade, she responded to me that she's tied infact she needs data to talk, suggesting that I should buy her data, I ignored . I got to understand that she's a women's fashion designer cos she do post most of their firm's designs , d firm looks very expensive not like your normal tailoring shop.

Equally got to understand that she uses iPhone 14 pro max and that's what she uses to upload her designs on WhatsApp , compared to me that uses ordinary android lol, but that isn't a problem.
Our chatting has not really been good , currently I saw from her status when she wrote " guys are no longer toasting me" and I respond I don't want guys toasting her and that my eyes is fixed on her infact that she's taken.

Before I could knew it she demanded for Christmas gift and new year, this is someone that barely meet me . And I responded that Christmas gift isn't the problem ,that I want us to meet so we could talk and know each other then I will get to tell her my intentions. She responded back that she demanded for Christmas gift not a date with me. since I said the gift isn't the problem do you know she sent in her account number immediately.

Pals since then I have not responded to her yet, pals the thing is heart breaking and worrisome , I really like this gal, she's exact what I need as a wife if God permit I will love to marry her. Why is she putting peanuts in front compared to plans I have in mind for her.

I see her as my wife , I watch her short videos everyday on my phone the ones she displays on WhatsApp status , but I will soon stop viewing her status.

This year I will be going for a 6months career license course and as soon as I get my license things will change.


Pals pls advice me on what to do, make I bon her, our conversation on WhatsApp is not really flowing well. Why is she so materialistic and it's obvious d iPhone 14 pro max she's using must have been given to her by one rich dude she's dating or was dating I guess , I just love her. Pls advice insults too is also welcome.

"I see her as my wife" because of bum bum and breast? Someone you barely know?

You must be a seer! Abeg, shift one side

iHateFraudsters:
Dude, he's been chased out of the mall so many times because he preaches there.

He's been indefinitely banned from the mall.

Don't believe what all these hungry bloggers tell you.

But, we should believe you

EriMma1:
There's this person I brought into my line of job. When I brought her in, I wanted her to learn the job very well for like 6 months or a year before she can launch out to get her own clients and be on her own but she left three weeks after following me a few times. She felt she has gotten the hang of the job and started getting her own clients and has been on her own since last year. I overlooked all that. She then started calling me along the line to teach or show her somethings on the job to which I refused because she left of her own accord knowing full well she has not learnt all there is to learn.

Now, there was a place I submitted my proposal letter and after they called me. We had a chat and after a good bargain, they told me to resume the following week. Two days to resumption, they called and told me to hold on. So I felt they got a better bargain. It pained me and I told this person all that happened and what I charged them. After that, I got two other clients who paid the same amount I charged the one that flopped. So I used those ones to console myself and moved on but was still hoping that they would get back to me someday.

Fast-forward to last week. This close pal of mine I trained on the job told me she got a call. In fact she went to that same place I told her I lost an opportunity and submitted a proposal. They now called her and she offered them lower charges and she was given the job.

At first I felt stabbed because she knew about my ordeal with the same company. I just chose not to discuss it further.

Ok, last year, I confided in her that I want to review my charges with my old clients. Like those I've been with for 4 , 5 years. Today, she called saying she reviewed her charges too with her clients. O boy! Because I reviewed, you too review? I mean something she started last year, she's already reviewing just because I told her I did and my clients have responded to it. These are clients I've had for years and you've only had yours for a few months, cos she started mid last year and she's already increasing fees. Is that how things are done? Anyways I didn't try to warn her of the implication of such act.

Now, I feel this person is just trying to compete with me and I'm thinking it's high time I start concealing somethings from her.

What do you think? Is it safe to continue divulging my plans to this person or am I overreacting?

Keep telling her your plans...

You will soon start begging her for peanuts

Nogoschool123:
My girlfriend just informed me that she wants to write jamb. I don’t want her to write jamb because when she goes to school, she will be more exposed and breakup up and even do runs there. What do I do to stop her? I only want her to learn handwork

You are a full blown idio.t

PeacefulAdult:
Can you imagine that they gifted me #50

NB; I posted this here because I'm running short on time... Also, some details are not precisely accurate, sake of my ID.

Please please any help is appreciated, pm me if you can because I can't post my account number

I work with one of the best bosses anyone can think of having, she's strong, very upright and easily trusts people. She's revealed a lot about herself to me in trust , that's why this hurts me so badly. I um okay I was given 100k by her to keep as her business reserve because she sometimes overspends on things which are also still necessary in my assessment...Upon I Know of how people she never expected to betray her dealt with her, I still made a fatal mistake; I gambled with it.
I thought I was free from gambling because I had been clean for getting to two years but circumstances led me into it once again. I had unavoidably spent 20k from her money mostly on my feeding, hoping to replace from my December salary. I one day felt like trying if bet9ja can help replace it, they actually did but I got carried away and kept on doing it till I lost it all(screenshot below was last bulk of it lost)...I haven't wished so badly to rewind time like I have wished this period

I don't get money from anyone but my salary..After gathering up my salary/savings/trekking unimaginable distances to work, I am still faced with #11,000 debt and I can be asked to bring it this week..
If I can just settle her, I will be free.
I now understand a bit how heavy debts are.
As for gambling, it's a done deal .. would appreciate please if anybody can assist because it's been hard even being in her presence because of what I have done

Nobody is giving you 1 naira.

Banilla:
Mods, take this to the front page. Thank you.

Hi everyone! I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a year. I absolutely love him, he's my whole world! And that's the reason I'm pressuring him to save, if we're going to have a future together. And he's down for it, he makes nothing less than 200k monthly. I'm still a student, searching for a decent job. I can't invest sh** presently but I hope to start soon. Yesterday, I brought it up. I want him to send money monthly to my bank account, no matter how little. I'll save it for him. He's hesitating. He said I should be patient, he'll give me everything I need but he wants more time. I don't want to ruin our relationship but I need his co-operation. I'm scared he might leave me, after I've given him the best years of my life. I subtly threatened him that my family would force me to marry a Nigerian but he made a joke out of it, saying I would never, that I'm his...

What should I do?

NB: I've never taken a dime from him. He drinks often and I don't want him spending 'our future' on alcohol! I'm way better at saving.

I'm worried if I press the subject, he'll get mad at me.

I also told him I want to leave Nigeria, he thinks it's a good idea and I also told him I can't afford it alone. He said he needs time.

Doesn't he love me? Should I let it go? Or insist we resolve this?

This is pure cock and bull story. This story is a plea for attention and comments. It is a figment of your imagination

questioner:
Opinion needed here

I just got transferred back to Lagos in October last year and met this girl who is a secretary in one of our client office.
We sort of vibed and I asked her out, so we started dating early December.

On Christmas eve, I decided to spend the day at her place and on my way in, I met a familiar face driving in,
It was a guy who lived in the same hood with me before I left Lagos. We weren't friends really, more like acquaintance who greeted each other and knew each other on first name basis but never hung out together.
Apparently, he lives in the same apartment as my gf, He upstairs and they (my gf and family) downstairs. let's call this dude X.

When I told gf about X and how we once lived in the same area, she wasn't happy.
She said X was a bad guy and not the kind of guy to relate with bla bla.
I insisted that though I wasn't close to X, my impressions of him were an easy going dude, who rarely had trouble with anyone.

Beau insisted that he had a lot of friends coming around who were unruly and irresponsible and she just didn't like them.
I didn't really give it much thought since it wasn't like X was a close pal.

Last weekend, I had gone to pick her for an evening outing, we were outside when X was driving in again, I wasn't sure he saw me since it was dark,
so I decided to walk towards where he was parking, only for her to hold me back and insist she didn't want me to even greet him or have anything or discussions with him.
I acted chill and asked her why was she so persistence, she repeated the rubbish guy, bad boy talk.

Frankly all this has made me so curious and I am considering finding away to approach this guy and talk with him.

The opinion I need from esteemed peeps on this forum is -

1. Do you think I am being 'unnecessarily' curious by wanting to talk to X about my gf
2. If I do decide to meet him, How do you advise I broach the subject with him considering I don't even have his phone number and might need to go meet him at home
3. If you were in X's shoes would you consider it clumsy or agbaya behavior, me coming to meet you to ask about my gf - I am quite older than X, by my estimate, by 5 to 7 years or would you be cool with it

She's definitely hiding something. It could be they dated in the past or he knows something about her that she doesn't want you to know

Lade18:
Recently met this single lady of one. Been the one footing her bills and sending her daughter (5yrs old) to school. She told me She wouldn't let us have sex until she sees I'm committed and reality love her. Although, that's not the reason I'm talking care of her daughter, I just naturally love to spend for people I care about . Just recently, she's wanting to know how much I give my mom and why I'm the one sending her money when she has a shop and making her money.

Yesterday, she told me I don't love her enough. That, if I can open a shop for my mom , then I can do more for her. But I wasn't the one that opened the shop for her, I just supported her.

Now, we had sex for the first time last month and has been denying me sex since then. Yesterday, she came around and I initiated sex, she denied. She told me if we're ever gonna be together, I should learn how to be a man. In her world, being a man involve me cooking, laundry, take her out, and clean. I told her that's cool. But I don't know what a woman will be doing in a House if she's not working while I'm the one footing her bills. If I ask her this, she would get angry.

My fellow men, why are the requirements for sex getting on the increase these Days? Is that they way it's supposed to be?

This is a new year, better stop this nonsense and behave yourself .

If I ask her this, she would get angry? Somone you are paying her daughter's school fees? If she gets angry, and so? Will her anger boil beans?

Are you sure you are okay? You are a weak person.

She has already started comparing herself to your mother and because of sex, you don't think there is anything wrong with it?


Mark my words, that entitled lady will deal with you and finish you completely.

Keep writing nonsense and don't stand your ground as a man. Bomboy

Jeweltz:
If you can't cook and clean, what else would you be doing for the woman you claim to love.?
No sex for lazy man. Work for it. I can't marry a man that can't take care of my needs

If you are a woman in reality and not a fake impostor here, you are an entitled person that needs to be helped.

A man that can't take care of your needs? Are you paralysed? Are you deformed? Why must it be a man that will take care of your needs? Whose needs are you taking care of?

RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirmed it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the room like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying from the heartbreak, she seemed very happy and unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help myself. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday.


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

That you gave a girl so much leverage means you were not properly trained and I doubt if you have learnt your lesson.

You allowed a relationship to affect your job? Stu.pid boy

Kokorokomaster1:
They is this girl that I'm in love with, but I don't know if she love me or not, because she always like to come to me and speed some Time with me in my store talking with me, but when I send love message to her, she will read and not reply, when I told her to hugged me she will refuse saying that she doesn't hugged that she is not my girlfriend,but she just hugged one of her friend that is a boy that just come back from travel in my present and was teasing me, I don't know what to do, should I stop her for coming to my store, because I'm falling in love with her, and people in my complex is thinking that I'm the one that is dating her, or should I continue the friendship because I'm no longer comfortable with her way

Some of you guys need a brain resetting slap.

Look at what a grown man is saying.

Keep misbehaving

Zeal0000007:
For a serious relationship leading to marriage , do you encourage going through your partner's phone for trust to be built ?.

I discovered my partner has been flirting with other guys online, thanks to the fact that I always go through her phone when she's asleep. I have done alot for this gal, just disappointed while gals wouldn't be faithful in their relationships.

This is someone I wanted to wife next year, and I love her so much despite her flaws .

I swallow alot of her flaws, like whenever we have issues she will abuse me from head to toe, on occasions like that I will ask her out of my life and my house but she'll be so bent in staying that nothing can separate us after how many years according to her "over her dead body" she wants to eat her cake and have it back.

I'm really stalk, after abusing me up and down at night I find it very difficult resist her body, I will still try to have sex with her especially when I see her nudes, I be flesh and blood.

I can't continue like this 2023, Guys please don't cohabit with a gal you haven't married.
Now I have issues of driving her way or I relocate to somewhere far just to have peace of mind. I can't continue like this next year, God forbid.

If she was coming and going ending this toxic relationship would have been effective. This is someone I have paid two sessions school fees for, care for her like she was my wife in my own little way, as we speak I have written her final year project for her chapter one to five, its just left for her to type it and present it.

I don tire for this relationship I really need a way out, I want to leave her cos its no longer healthy for me, though I really love her. She lacks respect for me , she still flirts online, she's very abusive . I have told her if you feel you have seen someone better than me, kindly move on or you feel we have stayed long enough and you can't wait anymore kindly move on, I won't hold anything against u. But you can't be staying in my house and be seeing someone else, frustrating me all round.

Sometimes when we want to have sex , neighbours must hear us because of fight over sex, but she has her good side, she wasn't like this when we started. I'm really tire, God help me next year, cos I can't continue like this.

You don't need any advice, you just want to vent.

Very soon you will marry her and the abuse will continue or she will leave you in a most devastating way because you are an emotional weakling.

The fact you are cohabiting shows how weak you are.

She will marry another from your house, watch out. That's when you will start saying fear women. I think we should fear spineless men, weaklings.

You are even giving advice... you dey craz.e.


Please, hold on to the relationship like your life depends on it, she will finish you completely.

You love her kò, love nì