₦airaland Forum

@OP
Would you rather married women date married men?

The OP appears quite comfortable. You can only fool some pple abt your social background and standing on this forum, certainly not every one.

If the househelp leaves willingly there will be 100 others who will gladly take her place for the security and comfort her home provides. There is no reason she should feel bad bc she is doing humanity a lot of good.

There are threads on this forum where a lot of us discussed the awful thing we and siblings did as children. But this thread has taken on a special meaning bc the person in question is a house help. It seems to me that it is a very poor excuse to attack an innocent person. And bc there are so many 'malu' on NL it is easy for the herd mentality to take effect

The only mistake she made is that this is a Nigerian forum. Our hypocrisy sometimes really embarasses

This is incredible. But it is also typically Nigerian.

Someone comes with an issue to discuss on what is essentially a fun internet medium. All that is reqd is that u give an opinion on the issue and move on. But others whether its a desperate bid to seek relevance or for some other obscure reason have left the message for the messenger. There may even be some resentment of the OP's social status. That too is in our nature.

For the diasporans who toil night and day thereby aging prematurely, what the OP has done is abominable, infact a capital crime. Nevermind a young girl has been given a chance for education and an opportunity to extricate her family and herself from the twin inevitable fate of prostitution and poverty. Nevermind that she has been saved from early death from readily treatable diseases the cost of which her parents cannot afford. In the UK and the US she is no body's business but the social welfare's. In Nigeria that is just another foreign concept.

Who talked abt slavery for someone who is free to get up and leave.

And why is it that some pple are prepared to undo their panties bc d girl is being made fun of like she is on NL?

OP you brought an interesting issue for discussion pls dont be discouraged by NL resident nonetities. Even though I have no contribution at this time

@Nayah,
It will be more meaningful if u look at a Nigerian/African woman alongside alternative choices otherwise what u say wont have much meaning

OP
Thats heavy. Do I get low moments? Yes esp during student days on matters that were not necessarily academic. These days, I get angry- occasionally with myself but mostly with other people. Suicidal? Never in all my conscious life. People who do are not necessarily weak. They misrepresent or misinterprete situations around them and genuinely need assistance bc life is superior to all things else be it work and finances, relationships, looks etc.

Well 3rd class degree is way better than no degree at all. She can proceed for PGD to enhance are chances of getting a job

One thing I have consistently observed among girls who are emotionally involved with older guys is that they are usually very intelligent and witty. They also have personality that has depth. Could this be the basis for mutual attraction? Such relationships tend to last longer and break up when it happens is hardly ever acrimonious.

We have to underline the phrase-'emotionally involved' to separate them from wise girls looking for older men to prey on. Older guys tend to be more tolerant. The issue of control only comes in when the girl herself is a player. Old or young no guy would like to say 'I do' with an actively playing girl.

All that brandy, champagne, whisky vodka, etc make good adornment for bars. But the action is in that small fridge.

My first full bottle experience was at age 7yrs. So u can say I grew up drinking beer. Nothing like a real cold bottle of lager. It brings out the philosopher in you

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=782322.msg9346092#msg9346092 date=1318698254]Insert Quote
Quote
Although his profile stated that he was single with no children, he told me that he had three children living in Lagos with his sister


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did not appear to have money for drinks during the date, but instead, drank from a bottle he kept in his bag.



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This morning he called to arrange a date for tonight, and I told him that I didn't think we were a good match. He became very angry with me, and accused me of being "too fussy" and snobbish.



wow is all i can say.

1. what's he doing with a nigerian woman? I thought these types usually preferred non-nigerian females.[/quote]Obviously this guy wants money. Does it matter if the money comes from a white woman or a black one. Hhhmn. Nawao. The way pple dey reason for NL

@Inked Nerd,
We hope u will come home to mingle when its time. We will be waiting

Some ghetto girls come at really high maintenance cost. They are not always cheap. 99% of the time u spend talking with one is usually about money.

Parents house rent, sibling school fees frequently form part of ur conversation

Some also have very unrealistic expectations of relationships.

Beware of brothers or relations who may be armed robbers or may give sensitive security information that may lead to your kidnap even if the babe her self is unaware

The last time I washed my jeans, was like 3yrs ago. But then I have worn it only once

^^^These kind of Nigerians who are mostly victims of our harsh economic realities will abound in the UK. Often they lie their way

into the UK anyway. Pretty girls like u who are ready to settle down should come home and mingle. You have a much more

substantial population of educated, handsome and responsible Nigerian men back home that u can chose from

There is nothing typically Nigerian about the guys attitude. The whole picture suggests a guy who thinks he is entitled to certain priviledges bc he is dating OP. This kind of behaviour is rampant, when the guy feels she is not pretty enough. Of course you have called his bluff by turning your back.

Either that or he is just a professional dupe who happen to be Nigerian. He lies his way into a circle he doesnt belong, has no intention of investing in a relationship with you and he sees you as a mere object to attain a selfish end. This kind of thing happens everyday, everywhere in the world. From Russia to Nicaragua

Sometimes the ploy succeeds when the girl falls in love and she ends up being at the mercy of the crook.

It is wrong for non-Nigerians to think they can situate every Nigerian or assume there is a common bond holding all together. There is none. The common denominator you will find is country name. Beyond that, very little or nothing. We are as cosmopolitan as the US which puts us ahead of conservative UK. A few decades ago the influence of traditional African religion, ethnic culture etc was an issue. The new generation are mostly ignorant of these.

He must be another mediocre comic. A really good perfomance for customs and the NDLEA would have earned him his freedom.

Basketmouth would have talked up a storm and escaped b4 the men knew what happened

One really rough experience can equate to 70 or more. So that a girl who has been with 20 regular dudes is still much better off.

The way I see it, if she is healthy and she has a credible resolve to take the plunge and not look back, that is what truly counts and not the number of bfs she had.

Beautiful car. Black knight. . . .

The OP is definitely less than 20. If he is above, then there is a problem. It is best you leave her alone or else you will be seeing

your friend's face as you are hammering away

Yes. Only in an adulterous situation. Remember an affair need not be physical. It can be emotional. So all u married women with male best friends are in fact committing adultery.

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=779759.msg9324906#msg9324906 date=1318437822]you find that surprising no doubt.

why would anyone who knows you, hate you?

amazing.[/quote]The affection is mutual, baby. If you are with me for a day, no way your man will ever risk seeing us together. Ex or not

Considering the way people talk abt Nayah on NL, if she was an article, she would be the most expensive. By far.

And tipia will be . . . . . .

Very true. Of all my exes' only one will not open if I knocked really hard enuff. Chanced upon d black sheep on fbk d other day. Still hating after so many years. We never quarrelled just drifted apart like most relationships do.

This attachment to exs is a reason to keep our WAGs far away from these roving wolves bc with the rt conditions passions will re-ignite and the undesireable will happen (with or without guilt afterward)

Marry a white girl.

Initially things may start out quite innocently-exchanging ideas, make jokes. Then there is the occasional courtesy complements when she dons a fitting dress. This goes on to what I call appreciative compliment. Thereafter you just want to get your hands on what lies beneath. Why not. She is a woman afterall. You do it that one time. Then again and again etc. Yes dejavu-there we go again with all the good, the bad and the ugly of a full fledged amorous affair in your hand.

Not a good idea, I have come to find (again and again). Unless, . . . . .

Having a platonic relationship (as it is called) among heterosexuals is unrealistic in our environment. Even in western cultures such rels cross the line sometimes esp when one partner is in need of emotional support. To start with, u cannot convince any one that u both dont have sth going on, no matter how much u deny it. For this reason u (she as well) are already paying a price for sth u have not even bargained for. This 'rel' will cause pain in unintended places. Let her be if u have no real emotional bonding towards her.

See ya.

bekay911:
can a guy be this simple and straightforward and casual? Impossible.most guys r jst interested in sleepn wt u weda u r a friend, acquitance. Wateva dts gud 4 d goose is gud 4 d gander and goosling as well!!!!!! Do not do to odas wat u dnt want dem to do to u

At least you know what to expect and where u stand. U know how to handle situations better. With Orikinla you will never know. You have been disarmed even b4 the first shot is fired leaving u completely out of control. Have u heard of sympathy sex? I guess not until you fall victim. Actually much commoner than most peeps think.