₦airaland Forum

Fhemmmy:
How do you know was product of adultery. ... besides, do you punish the child for the crime of the mother?

The DNA showed he's not d fada
They were still married but separated a long time

Na by adulterated?

Digging up posts

Women....smh

Meanwhile not everyone is clean...

They use mods to clear their own indiscretions

Fhemmmy:
Na wa oh, so you marry a woman that already had a child before and things no work out, all of a sudden the child that was calling you Daddy, that knew and see you as role model is to the dogs? you really wanna make me cry with such comment, you could be as bitter as you wanna be with the mother, but the child is ONLY a child and should be treated as one..... Nigeria will change when we start to see a woman with a child as human and not a second class citizen

Don't make it a naija thing
No man wants to raise another man's kid, especially a product of adultery

Fhemmmy:
Just cos he is not the biological father does not mean he is not the father...... you could be step father, na pikin we talking about here, nothing wrong with being there for them or be a father t them.

And pay Child support for another man's child that you and the cheating wide know it's not yours?

Come on bro...

Hmmm..


Women and irrigation factor

Deep......

damiso:
When there is no love in the first place why won't there be 'pushing to snap' and 'snapping'..I know people say there is a thin line between love and hate but I honestly can't get the kind 'love' that even when it goes south will actively seek to destroy or kill the other party.

I agree that some women overdo the whole 'women have rights in the west' thing but in a way I also think it serves some of our brothers who think 'all these abroad born girls are not submissive' and then go to import a wife without actually knowing her right abit (and I am saying this as a partially imported wife ).

Hubby knows someone who actually went to naija to marry (MARRY not see MARRY) someone he had never met all cos he believed 'he can't marry someone that will be proving rights and arguing with him'..like seriously .Except you marry w mannequin how on earth do you expect to live with another human being and never argue or have divergent opinions.

I don't think some people realise that sometimes a persons character is a culmination of orientation, values,life experiences etc and not necessarily location or where you live. Some of the most well mannered calm and easygoing women I know were born or raised in the west from relatively well to do families.


All these saviour ' I saved her from poverty and brought her to america' complex does not seem to be worth the hassle of 'not marrying all these ones that will be proving right'

You are right
Both parties have a part to play
A balanced post

3cycle:
I thought you were married? What ended it?

He appreciates her as a friend
No labels like marriage

Is that not what ladies want
No one should use marriage to cheat you

Ladygogo

So is money the reason why a woman should choose a mate since you don't see a correlation between a woman in Mobil and a care worker

uzolexis:
I also respect the girl so much. don't waste ur time with someone who doesn't appreciate u.

He appreciates her
He just doesn't want to marry her

Is marriage a sign of appreciation

humilitypays:
they should better open their eyes. Some of the Nigerian guys at home they are looking down on or seeing as below their class just because they happen to live abroad are rare gems with great talents being murdered by our harsh national economy and once such guys make it abroad; they will make great impact and may become the next talk of the town in years to come.

Money is good; we all love money but how we pursue it or perceive it matters and also determines our life's happiness and fulfillment.

Our ladies need more orientation sha...I know its not entirely their fault...but they need to start making more positive efforts so we all can live a happy, fulfilling life while here on earth

They r just there marking time for their payday

SAMBARRY:
[s]Mr man which one be ya own na.them send you come my side ni? If them send you go tell them say you no meet me for house. You're free to train ya daughters to be swegbe and dundi United. Na ya cup of tea sha keep your unsolicited advice to yourself and carry ya waka waka go the next bustop

green snake under the green grass
[/s]

Story.....

U r d hypocrite who is not afraid to use violence on a maid because you dont see her as a human being like you and your child yet you come here foaming and frothing about spousal abuse

As usual you portray your harpish ways calling children into your post

You need to be mounted asap as your chamber is getting cobwebbed

Maybe your brain will reset

humilitypays:
But let's be honest for once and tell our Naija sisters the bitter truth- our naija sisters aren't so cool to be honest! Now, ask me why and how?

95% or more of Nigerian guys who migrated to abroad (USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Spain, France, etc) usually come back home to pick up ladies with nothing....most of these Nigerian men spend their hard-earned money to bring these Nigerian ladies abroad, train these ladies in school abroad...and give them honour back home...but once these women start making money abroad, they tear eye and turn against these men that laboured to bring them from Nigeria (most times from poor family background and sufferings); God is watching o.


Now, we also have plenty single Nigerian ladies abroad, but these Nigerian ladies abroad will never come back home to marry single Nigerian guys in Nigeria and help take these guys abroad...these single Nigerian ladies abroad will never agree to marry Nigerian guys living abroad without papers, instead they date and marry only rich Nigerians living abroad and those from reputable family background.

But our guys abroad do come home to marry our ladies and help them become permanent residents and citizens...but our ladies abroad will never come home to marry our guys back home to help them become citizen, instead they keep running around searching for Nigerian guys from rich family background or secured well-paying job to marry.

Pls why is Nigerian ladies this heartless

Go to London, a Nigerian guy who isn't from a rich family back home finds it almost impossible to get a Nigerian girl to date talkless of to marry...same in United States, Canada, etc.

Nigerian ladies, pls change for good...mother nature isn't happy...all these quest for money and material wealth won't take us anywhere...let's start thinking twice for the good of our nation!

Some of these type of ladies are here on nairaland

ladygogo:
I`m going to have to agree with you that some Nigerian women over do it sometimes, it however doesnt justify you murdering your spouse.

So many cases of fresh off-the boat wives already scheming and planning how to mess their husbands up. These are even couples that immigrated to oyibo land together o.

Be careful before they say you r justifying murder

carefreewannabe:
No, I don't see the child as a "fuzzy joint property".

OK..I hear

Ilekeh:
It's always nurses

And the murder usually occurs in Houston.

If you're a nice and you live in Houston and your husband no like you at all, carry your loads and waka.

And lose the payday....

Never!

carefreewannabe:
Because it is OUR, not mine, not his, OUR child / children. We share the happiness and we divide the work and sacrifice.

That's the point
You don't see the child as yours but a fuzzy joint property

carefreewannabe:
I never said, I did it for him and I never said I should be compensated for giving him a child.

I should be compensated for giving up on my career since somebody has to. And since he is not ready to make this sacrifice, he has to make another one. Fair enough.
He hasn't given up on anything and therefore the divorce does not affect him. I have given up on my career and will have to start all over, possibly not having the chance to catch up again.

OK

Why should you be compensated for giving up your career for your own child......

Why count the cost for yourself if u indeed see d kid as an extension of yourself

If you take a career break now to surf in aspen
Will you demand someone take d tab for all the sacrifices u made while not working...






Except u see it as his..

carefreewannabe:
Is it what you read into my posts? Re-read, please.

Now tell me what a man gives up when he has kids.

Implicit in your post is that by having a child for a man
You did It for him hence your quest to be compensated for all you in giving him a child

carefreewannabe:
I don't want to be compensated for my child. I want to be compensated for what I have given up on for OUR child. If he doesn't like it, he can stay at home with the child and I will make money. Then in the unlucky case of a divorce, as the law treats everyone equally, our properties will be split 50 / 50 even though I brought the money home.

So the man does not lose anything when he has a child

Interesting

It was always about net position since you lot seem to see a child as not yours but his

I lost out giving birth to his child

I got to get mine......

So this is the psyche of women

I gave him sex
I gave him my body
I gave him a child

Hmmm

cococandy:
that doesn't address anything I typed there. How is any of that a benefit for women above men?
I dont understand.
You mean a woman getting her fair share of what belongs to her. What she worked and contributed for is a favor to her?

OK....marriage is not a favor

ladygogo:
I was only echoing what ifyalways wrote and I also added that it takes two to tango. Man wants a youthful and naive wife; girl wants a ticket out of poverty. Voila! Match made in heaven!

OK..I get u

cococandy:
i still don't get the phrase 'men losing all they worked for'
It is a lie. Only in Nigeria (nairaland to be precise ) does one hear it.

Property is shared equitably.
The man worked
The woman worked
In whatever ways they deemed appropriate at the time.

Then when they have problems
They want to divorce and their props are shared fifty-fifty or in the appropriate ratio depending on their case peculiarities.

Where does the man get off to feeling cheated?

All he worked for as in? The woman didn't do anything all their married life? She didn't bring money? She didn't keep the home front ? She didn't take care of the family and kids? Something you can't equate to money.

Yet somehow this man worked for it all his life and the wife just sat down in one corner and stared?

Why do they like to hype their contributions as if the wife didn't do anything to improve the marriage? Even the ones that have not paid 5yrs out of their mortgage wil be claiming 'all they worked for'

Rolls eye . Mtchew

Pls the law is not sentimental nor patriarchal.
It doesn't understimate the woman's efforts like our naija system does.

And most importantly it considers the kids first before the two adults who need to get their act together.

Hence the parent who is always available for the kids will the house because the house belongs to the kids. It is their birth right.usually it is the mothers but I've seen cases where the man got the house because he was able to prove that he has always been more available for the kids.
But mostly in general the house is split 50-50 with one party buying out the other.

No law is out to favor any gender.

Our naija brothers are so used to female suppression that fairness seems like unfairness to them.

Next you will be vexing when we say marriage benefitts women

Don't worry marriage is dying gradually

We will see the avenue you guys will use to bleed people of money

ladygogo:
My sentiments exactly!

The men should also ask themselves why they are going to marry some random girl in the village. What's wrong with the women in their immediate environment?

Did u read the post u quoted at all

The girls are greedy marrying obodo oyibo man who is as their fada age

Carefreewannabe

Prenups are still subject to reasonableness

A judge can overrule a prenuptial if he deems it to be overly disadvantageous to the woman

Declare your gender n make worthwhile contributions

You can open your customary umpteenth threads to rant in

Still you obsess and come to the boys room

Still some are still foaming at the mouth about murder being justified

I have not seen anyone say the dead deserved it

Murder is not justifiable

However this act is still occurring

What can we do or learn from it.. That's the point

freecocoa:
Not Necessarily about that, I just imagined your face while you were typing that, and I saw how my brother who is a Ronaldo freak, would react at someone insinuating a woman could really love cr7 and not his money, you might not really get it sha.

OK

I really want to get her point


This guy had a kid via surrogate
Is one of the richest sportsmen in d world
Had a long relationship with a model though over now

I don't need to know him personally to know he does not want one woman to shaft him Like they did tiger woods

carefreewannabe:
Cristiano Ronaldo.
There is a reason why many rich men marry rich women and why rich women marry rich men; to make sure that they partners are not after their money. Let's talk about Nigerians though, Nigerian men don't mind that the young 20-year-old girl overlooks their wrinkled skin and pot-belly for money.

Cool...
Are u saying Irina sharyk is as rich as cr7
So why did he not wife her

4 years relationship or more

cococandy:
actually if they do decide to leave, they will still get the house and maybe the kids too. So them not leaving is a sign that they hope the marriage will work out.
It is the men who go off the handle because their slaves are not bending to their wills and then go on a shooting rampage.

So the law is fair in your opinion
Men losing all they worked for...

Timbuktou:
Don't mind these ones abeg. Most of them, dia market done sour tey tey.

Stale Bobo juice..Lol

3cycle:
When you find your soulmate, all these questions won't be necessary. All you want to do is sleep and wake up beside each other.

When you fall inlove, you won't see all you listed above as an issue, you would gladly do them. Have you ever been inlove?

Cool....

Are u saying that most of the people who complain about changing their name are not in love..


Interesting.....

Timbuktou:
Michael Jackson style Spanish niggah. The Nigerian murderousness must surely shine through, the bleaching no reach him heart. Let them plug his brain to a monitor, speak yoruba to him and see if he doesn't understand what they say beneath his "Si, senor" .

I'm sure if they rummage through his intestines, they'd find ogufe.

Bro...

Hating on naija males...

Our resident femmes' pastime...

freecocoa:
Now why do I find this funny?

Why...not everyone follows football

3cycle:
3cycle has finally been convinced and now wants to settledown.
He found me already

Cool.... Congratulations


But frankly why do ladies obsess over marriage where they give up their family name, surrender their figures, career , do chores l, cook etc

This op has a chance for a relationship she can decide how she wants it to go..

What's d issue