Enoch07:

Guy leave me oh, na relegation get us this season but we go bounce back and by d way, I different from the OP, I know wetin I for do if na me be d op

Yes, sexual attraction is important in marriage. A man should always look forward to making love to his wife and vice versa but it doesn't mean you'll spend everyday fulfilling that urge. The fact that you are confused about your sexual attraction to her is not a ticket for you to pressure her into sex (as some here imply you to do). It won't solve the problem. Personally, i will advice you to talk to her about it and see if you both can figure out what could be wrong. But if the condition persists then you guys should amicably seperate. Getting married in this state would surely lead to sexual fraustration on both sides, then cheating probably on both sides, then DNA issues, then divorce or death or murder

Stupidquestions:

Kindly ask from him when this proverbial sexual switch suddenly went off....
.
Was it at the beginning of the relationship?

Did he enter the relationship with an initial disgust for her sexuality?
.
And to let u know, men can get sexually turned off toward a woman who is perceived as not sexually open or quarellsome.

E.g.
1. A husband can get sexuallly turned off and bitter towards his wife after repeated sexual rejection from her.

2. A man who visit prostitute can all of sudden lose his urge on account of her irritating behavior.
.
So make ur informed conclusion

Thank you... You have more or less corroborated everything I submitted.

Angelfrost:


Thank you... You have more or less corroborated everything I submitted.

Lol... corroborate wetin? I'm still reinforcing the fact that that hatred for her touch came as a result from frustration and inability to get acesss to her body easily... And I gave u examples...yet u said I corroborated ur point ...where u lambasted my assumption

Just reading comments. The level of depravity in our world today is alarming.

Judithjovial:
This compatibility everyone is always yapping about in marriage shie all these divorce and marriage murders weren't compatible ni before they got into to and later what happened

Valid question...las las if you don't have self control before marriage, it might be difficult to have in marriage

Though you are both cheating on each other... mad o

OscarChisom:
Op sex before marriage is wrong nomatter what anybody think or say. Wrong is wrong and people being peer pressured to do it still doesn't make it right. Having agreed to her on the 'no sex' since 2019, that says you might be a Christian. Continue on that good path even with future relationships. You should also look in wards to find what may be the cause of this lack of feeling as it's definitely NOT caused by your abstinence. Maybe something about her physical appearance, scent, dressing etc might be irritating you unconsciously. Sexual attraction is very much needed in marriage.

Please respect her stand and don't coarse her into what she doesn't want to engage in due to her faith.

And then Op, this is 2021☺️ 3years since engagement, abeg do something. Una sopoz don study unasef finish and 2021 is about rounding up..�

You just spoke my mind. Please respect her belief but make sure there is genuine love between the two of you. You don't need to sin against God through fornications before you can know if the two of you are compatible. Make sure it's God leading you to marry her and not fleshly drive. If you feel there is no love again please don't go ahead, just release her but let it not be because she has not consented to fornicating with you

LadyExcellency:


What a devilish summation.

You're just as subtly dangerous as the serpent.

Common get lost. Oshi barawo.
Baskard!!

You dey find person son to manipulate. You nor go carry your sickness to convent go dey with other nuns.. Spits*

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

Are u insuniating That she is a virgin? Bro. calm down, When u are ready, the feelings will definitely come.

Sometimes I wonder if these stories are real or make up stories.

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

Try talk to her on this maybe she go give you chance. Thereby confirming whether what you feel is true

SmellySperm:
Just quit bro coz sexual attraction odikwa necessary.

But why did you accept to a nosex before marriage relationship? What if she's shallow with the P? You need to F her to know if you both are sexually compatible.

.. Gbammm ! No more less

BennyDGreat:


Valid question...las las if you don't have self control before marriage, it might be difficult to have in marriage

Let me tell you something. Some people have high libido but are loyal to just one partner. They can't even imagine themselves moving from one woman to another. Its stress for them.
But you see with that one compatible partner, they will straff till eternity. That's the true meaning of self control not abstinence from sex until marriage.

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

If you're not sexually attracted to her now then let her go because it will only get worse in marriage. God is against premarital sex and extramarital affairs. A word is enough for the wise.

Stupidquestions:

Lol... corroborate wetin? I'm still reinforcing the fact that that hatred for her touch came as a result from frustration and inability to get acesss to her body easily... And I gave u examples...yet u said I corroborated ur point ...where u lambasted my assumption

Well, whether it happened due to her spurning of his advances or it's a natural turn-off, the bottom line is they are currently sexually incompatible. If the former is the case (Op didn't specify), then getting married shouldn't be something to fear as her willingness ought to alleviate the sexual issues. However, if the latter is the issue, then marriage ought to be easily off the table.

You can't draw conclusions from a single point of view.

what is wrong should also be condemned in totality. Didn't you read were the young man said there has been occasional kissing and romance? So romance and occasional kissing should be condone right? Food way you no eat them no dey test am.

OscarChisom:
Op sex before marriage is wrong nomatter what anybody think or say. Wrong is wrong and people being peer pressured to do it still doesn't make it right. Having agreed to her on the 'no sex' since 2019, that says you might be a Christian. Continue on that good path even with future relationships. You should also look in wards to find what may be the cause of this lack of feeling as it's definitely NOT caused by your abstinence. Maybe something about her physical appearance, scent, dressing etc might be irritating you unconsciously. Sexual attraction is very much needed in marriage.

Please respect her stand and don't coarse her into what she doesn't want to engage in due to her faith.

And then Op, this is 2021☺️ 3years since engagement, abeg do something. Una sopoz don study unasef finish and 2021 is about rounding up..�

BAD GUY.... YOU KNOW PSYCHOLOGY BAAAJE

Stupidquestions:
Stop deceiving yourself, she told you no sex before marriage and you are too ashamed or weak to press on for sex, so u allowed it as a brother cos she's a holy church sister right?
.
Truth is her not allowing u to fvck her since 2019 lol, has lead to frustration on your part...and the frustration has turned to subtle hatred and bitterness against her touch that u are now under denial and disgust of her sexuality....

Same church sister is being piped doggy style from all angles in one secrete room every weekend.
.
Truth is u are acting weak..and u are hating her and urself for being weak and unable to control sex btw both of u
.
All those things u wrote up there is just living in denial and communicating subtle frustration....
.
The day u man up and fvck her letft right and centre to stamp your power, that's the day u will realise wot uve been missing and cure that frustration u interpret as not having sexual interest for her.
.
You sound like those weak church boys sha

Stupidquestions:

Rubbish post by a kid...stupid contradiction...trying to appear smart abt relationship and appearing holy at thesame time.

Lol I love this forum

;DWetin ds guy do u na

Stupidquestions:

Rubbish post by a kid...stupid contradiction...trying to appear smart abt relationship and appearing holy at thesame time.

vickydevoka:

Bros sex no follow again for marriage
Buhari regim go make u forget say u get prick

I dey tell u?

Wawelexy:
Intimacy during courtship is very essential....

Chapter what verse what?

Because most men want what they can't have or in your case, what you're yet to have, that you're yet to sleep with her is enough reason for you to have sexual attraction towards her. Unless you also don't find her physically attractive, be patient until your wedding night, as the sexual attraction could change thenceforth. Just make sure you're marrying her for the right reasons and aren't driven by lust.

Please leave as quickly as you can. I had a similar experience and it was because of the same no-sex-before-marriage b00lsh!t. I will never advise even my enemy to agree to such.

DonCandido:
Op, don't take this the wrong way o. I think you have become a mugu on a leash.

2019! And you haven't shined her "Kongo" for once?

You are officially reverend sisters not bf & gf.

I EARNESTLY urge you to test run what you are about to pay for and if the commodity does not meet up to your expectations, please go in good conscience to another trader!

Let her apply to the nearest Convent where her monastic vow to chastity is cherished.

U re a guy. Not just ordinary one, a bedhopper.
The guy should just find a way out of it. Because every man dream of that first night.if the feeling is no longer there, it will be hell for both them.

Imagine u digging ur woman, and u begin to feel like u re committing abomination. That one no good o!

LOL

InTheCloudySky:
Because most men want what they can't have or in your case, what you're yet to have, that you're yet to sleep with her is enough reason for you to have sexual attraction towards her. Unless you also don't find her physically attractive, be patient until your wedding night, as the sexual attraction could change thenceforth. Just make sure you're marrying her for the right reasons and aren't driven by lust.

the guy has lost signal. Make him no border they look for an again. The network don go

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

It's already a problem while courting, what makes you think it will turn to gun after wedding

Marriage is a rough road, so staying with someone you don't have feelings for will make the marriage uninteresting

If you realy love her and can endure that aspect for life good luck

Are you not fuvvvkk ng her right or what

Wahala wa ooooooo

It's supposed to be the opposite way: you feel more attracted to those you have not have sex with than to those you have had with.

Maybe there are features you like that she doesn't have: height, weight, color, shape, skills, etc.

You have to be honest with yourself and discuss this feeling with someone mature and apply the advice and see if there are changes.

Sexual attraction is necessary for marriage. That's what will make you treat her well. It will be bad for both of you to proceed without curing this.

Please don't have sex with her. That's not the way. It will not also change anything. It might be worst. And she will feel used.

LilMissFavvy:
I can bet the girl doesn't dress up and look gorgeous, plus smell nice. Now someone is about to lose her fiance. Teach your fiancee the things she needs to do to spice up her appearance, and your attraction for her will return.

She really doesn't. Quite bland. Wouldn't wear earrings etc. But there was moment when I liked her like that. I'm just lost at the moment. I really do want to feel attraed to her again because she is quite good on other aspects. My only fear is if the lack of sexual attraction would cause issues in marriage.