jaxxy:
U are childish and confused. So because she didn’t sleep with u, u now want to sister zone her?

Kai nah,why you day expose the guy.
Though fornication is bad!
But your comment funny

holybabayo:
It's supposed to be the opposite way: you feel more attracted to those you have not have sex with than to those you have had with.

Maybe there are features you like that she doesn't have: height, weight, color, shape, skills, etc.

You have to be honest with yourself and discuss this feeling with someone mature and apply the advice and see if there are changes.

Sexual attraction is necessary for marriage. That's what will make you treat her well. It will be bad for both of you to proceed without curing this.

Please don't have sex with her. That's not the way. It will not also change anything. It might be worst. And she will feel used.

True. It's supposed to be the other way. I mentioned it to her but she said its okay I feel this way. That it's because we've not been intimate. I just don't want to gamble and enter into marriage and start regretting.

Enginiaman1:



Kai nah,why you day expose the guy.
Though fornication is bad!
But your comment funny

When he’s now saying her touch is like a sisters own I want to expose and explain his confusion.

Yes of course, attraction and body chemistry is very important in marriage. Help her to spice up her looks.

zyphr:


My only fear is if the lack of sexual attraction would cause issues in marriage.

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

Religion and deceit. A policy of no premarital sex and she's doing kissing and romance. You don't want to eat a food but you are having a taste of it. What's sex in its actual definition, is it just the act of inserting the dick into the pussy hole? No, sex is all inclusive, the kissing, the romance and everything.

This so called holy sisters and brothers should quit this hypocrisy. Why taste the stew and avoiding the rice and the meat saying you are fasting. Enjoy sex if you want to have it and abstain totally if you must observe your policy.

jaxxy:
U are childish and confused. So because she didn’t sleep with u, u now want to sister zone her?

A matured person would give advice without insult. That all I have to say to you. Grow up

LilMissFavvy:
Yes of course, attraction and body chemistry is very important in marriage. Help her to spice up her looks.

I have tried to no avail. She is a staunch member of one of these churches that feel certain appearances are "unchristian". I can't even confidently buy her a dress because she may likely not wear it.

zyphr:


A matured person would give advice without insult. That all I have to say to you. Grow up

So saying u are childish or confused is an insult? Ok sorry.

I only tried to help u explain ur confused feelings. Which I might not even understand.

jaxxy:


When he’s now saying her touch is like a sisters own I want to expose and explain his confusion.

Please expose and explain

Bluntguy:
Don't start what you can't finish. Sexual attraction matters alot in every relationship. Nevertheless, sex before marriage is wrong.

Your last line. ..I can't agree less irrespective of majority opinion

[quote author=bolagabriella post=104045461]

Thanks

Perverse generation.

Sexual attraction is very important in marriage. You are supposed be marrying your lover, not sister. No pre-marital sex policy or not, If you cannot envisage ripping her clothes off whenever you are with her, then there is a problem. A serious one.

Respect her wish to remain chaste (which is what every serious Christian should even be doing), but if she doesn't stir sexual feelings in you then just know that you are heading for big trouble.

SmellySperm:
Just quit bro coz sexual attraction odikwa necessary.

But why did you accept to a nosex before marriage relationship? What if she's shallow with the P? You need to F her to know if you both are sexually compatible.

I think I'll rather not F her as it will be a much heavier guilt on my conscience if the relationship eventually goes south. My confusion is whether it will affect marital happiness.

Stupidquestions:
Stop deceiving yourself, she told you no sex before marriage and you are too ashamed or weak to press on for sex, so u allowed it as a brother cos she's a holy church sister right?
.
Truth is her not allowing u to fvck her since 2019 lol, has lead to frustration on your part...and the frustration has turned to subtle hatred and bitterness against her touch that u are now under denial and disgust of her sexuality....

Same church sister is being piped doggy style from all angles in one secrete room every weekend.
.
Truth is u are acting weak..and u are hating her and urself for being weak and unable to control sex btw both of u
.
All those things u wrote up there is just living in denial and communicating subtle frustration....
.
The day u man up and fvck her letft right and centre to stamp your power, that's the day u will realise wot uve been missing and cure that frustration u interpret as not having sexual interest for her.
.
You sound like those weak church boys sha

All these just to get the usual likes. Last last this government needs to regulate social media.

almarthins:


the guy has lost signal. Make him no border they look for an again. The network don go

VTJN:
All these just to get the usual likes. Last last this government needs to regulate social media.

. Ori e gbale

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

One Quick Question. Is She a Virgin?

Stupidquestions:
?
.
Truth is her not allowing u to fvck her since 2019 lol, has lead to frustration on your part...and the frustration has turned to subtle hatred and bitterness against her touch that u are now under denial and disgust of her sexuality....

All those things u wrote up there is just living in denial and communicating subtle frustration....
.

[quote][/quote]
Subtle frustration.... Your analysis although harsh, did struck a chord. Thank you

OP..
End the Relationship!!
@least if she is still young, she can get another Boyfriend to Marry..

Your married n normal life will be doomed if you marry a person who doesn't Arouse you sexually when he/she is naked..
Frustration will set in..

I have been on dat Boat B4..
Was dating one Girl..
Suddenly she started attending a New generational Pentecostal church and became 'spirikoko'..
Everything na Church programme, Sunday service, Evangelical outreach, etc..

Feelings were lost..
When I touched her, it was just for doing sake and Soon she also Lost Feelings too..

So OP!!
Quit now!!

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

If she was the one,she would have since left you in the relationship

Call it quit bro, let it not be like Nigerians experience of one government widely believed to bring about Change but later regretted by them.

DonCandido:
Op, don't take this the wrong way o. I think you have become a mugu on a leash.

2019! And you haven't shined her "Kongo" for once?

You are officially reverend sisters not bf & gf.

I EARNESTLY urge you to test run what you are about to pay for and if the commodity does not meet up to your expectations, please go in good conscience to another trader!

Let her apply to the nearest Convent where her monastic vow to chastity is cherished.

You are not a female

Stupidquestions:
. Ori e gbale

baba yi, you're always on romance section. Kilo nse le

Easy to say because you've not being there. I'm totally against sex before marriage. The effect though is what I don't think you fully understand. I dated a lady for 3 years without it. And like the OP said, I totally lost the desire to be intimate after the first 2 years. No response in your body even when she tries to tease you. She then began to think I had developed ED. To be honest I was scared I did. But when it ended and I met someone else, it was like magic. So I believe its the brains way of dealing with the reality being "No sex" so why bother responding. Time apart would help like someone advice and there's a big chance that after marriage it would come back. BTW something else made us breakup not the sex.

OscarChisom:
Op sex before marriage is wrong nomatter what anybody think or say. Wrong is wrong and people being peer pressured to do it still doesn't make it right. Having agreed to her on the 'no sex' since 2019, that says you might be a Christian. Continue on that good path even with future relationships. You should also look in wards to find what may be the cause of this lack of feeling as it's definitely NOT caused by your abstinence. Maybe something about her physical appearance, scent, dressing etc might be irritating you unconsciously. Sexual attraction is very much needed in marriage.

Please respect her stand and don't coarse her into what she doesn't want to engage in due to her faith.

And then Op, this is 2021☺️ 3years since engagement, abeg do something. Una sopoz don study unasef finish and 2021 is about rounding up..�

toffyz:

And you're not ready for pre marital sex right?
If you're, this would prompt your sexual urge towards her the more.
If the relationship is healthy, serious and secured then, you can try that.

It's health and secured alright. The security is being threatened by this lack of attraction from my end

zexy2030:

There wouldn't have been room for pre intimacy...if a lady could allow pre intimacy before marriage...just beware. Something is wrong. You can't be hungry and suffice with water to claim u r satisfied. If you r hungry eat food not water. Rather stay away from food totally, deny hunger. Water cannot replace food. Drinking water to delay hunger is flushing the system but to the honest, more injuries would happen, if u take water for too long waiting to break with food at a particular day.

You speak in parables. But I get your point

Stupidquestions:
Stop deceiving yourself, she told you no sex before marriage and you are too ashamed or weak to press on for sex, so u allowed it as a brother cos she's a holy church sister right?
.
Truth is her not allowing u to fvck her since 2019 lol, has lead to frustration on your part...and the frustration has turned to subtle hatred and bitterness against her touch that u are now under denial and disgust of her sexuality....

Same church sister is being piped doggy style from all angles in one secrete room every weekend.
.
Truth is u are acting weak..and u are hating her and urself for being weak and unable to control sex btw both of u
.
All those things u wrote up there is just living in denial and communicating subtle frustration....
.
The day u man up and fvck her letft right and centre to stamp your power, that's the day u will realise wot uve been missing and cure that frustration u interpret as not having sexual interest for her.
.
You sound like those weak church boys sha

Why can't Nigerians give advice without insulting the person they are advising? This is the main reason our children or young adults don't seek advice because we mostly end up insulting or belittling them.

That wan nah ur mata ooo, me no sex in a relationship
Tufiakwa God forbid it, Omo I go knack left and right, up and down No excuse No joy that area

jaxxy:
U are childish and confused. So because she didn’t sleep with u, u now want to sister zone her?

Who zone who?

zyphr:


It's health and secured alright. The security is being threatened by this lack of attraction from my end

@ the bolded, you're not the cause bro. She has to brace up her dress sense, @ least whenever you're around her.

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

...... Because using social media is free u all feel you can come and bother other people with petty issues...... If u don't feel sexually attracted to your finance then leave he for someone who ticks the box...... Abi if u marry her, u Wan dey hire men to sleep with her..? Don't ask questions you already know the answers to..... Talk to her about it..... Both of u should fix it if you can...... If you can't, go your separate ways....... No dey come disturb people wen dey hustle with mumu questions!

zyphr:
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since September 2019. I intend to marry her.
The problem is that, I don't desire her sexually. Any intimate touch from her feels like the touch from a blood sister. Very uncomfortable.
She is a strict Christian with a policy of no premarital sex. So we have never had sex except for occasional kissing and romance which I sometimes initiate.
However, since January this year, I lost sexual attraction towards her and I avoid even simple touches. In fact, last Sunday we were walking down the street and when she placed her arms round my shoulder, I stylishly evaded it. I don't feel like this towards every other woman.

I'm currently not seeing any other lady but I have had sexual flings with two different ladies including an ex.

Question is: Is sexual attraction/desire neccesary for marriage? Is it normal not to feel sexually attracted to your partner? Can this be a basis for break up as I fear it might persist in marriage and make me cheat on her.

Don’t listen to those guys encouraging you to have your way with her sexually.

Stay clear away from sex, after marriage you’d find her irresistible.