Shey nah your parents marry you give each other ni? You should have had proper discussion about kids, financies, health and everything that needs to discuss while courting nah.

Knack him till he pour those creme de la creme into potpourri.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

The guy is not responsible neither focused. Men like that always try to push responsibilities to their wife. Is a Coney man. Why not tell the lady all this plans before dragging her to the alter. I can also belt you that in that same marriage ceremony that took place, 40 to 60% money of that woman is involved. The truth is that if some lady see serious person with cool head, they will say is too calm. That man nor get vision. All the things wey e Dey do you na base on watin e suffer in the past for another woman hand wey e be really love. Just dey pray because such men their heart na stone. Any man wey see woman genuine tears and nor fit pity her, that mean na devil suppose be their in-law.

Instead of this woman to go on her knees and thank God for giving her such a wonderful husband who is only thinking about the family's welfare she is complaining.
Na 170k per month una wan use raise pikin abi?
I need to buy your hubby like 15 crates of chilled Heineken.
Me I won't even think of wifing anybody without billions in my account not to talk of children. What our parents have been doing since time immemorial is to recycle poverty people just start giving birth like rabbits and expect God to take care of the children now those ones will grow up and turn nuisance in the society then they start blaming the devil
I was yabbing one of my bros who had 11million and was talking about marriage and my mom was shocked that day i quickly hammered it into her head that i will never bring any child into this world without enough money to cater for him or her and if God knows I won't have money he should keep his children and keep the ladies very far away from me pls Baba God na beg I dey beg
I swr she started crying that who did her child like this u know yorúba women and drama I just face front
maybe na she go train the pikin she go tell me
Poster above me is an example of ediots who born children into poverty

Mercychen:
You earn 70k?
Wait... Is that 70k enough for you alone?
Oh.. you feel 170k from both of you, living in a selfcon with bills to pay are good to go having children like chickens?
Think again.

Look, With children come more responsibilities. Maybe you think the children will continue feeding on placenta after they are born.

Some women see better men with sense but they refuse to tap into that sense.

God, please I want that kind of man. Abeg.

Stop being a hypocrite, will you? What do you mean by a man with better sense? Going by the OP's story, her husband is just a selfish, inconsiderate and myopic man. If you like, wait till you amass all the imaginary millions, when PMS hits you, you won't believe it.

[quote author=amnesty7 post=108923743]Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?
He may have to raise the kids in his old age.[/quote
I did this I almost entered 3rd mainland

Raalsalghul:


Never have, never will.

I hope none of my cousins and friends meets you.

Let his parent know about this development and make sure that you involve someone who he can reason as well with,and what guarantee does he have that of he finish the professional course he is doing that things would be as he planned and let him understand that he think like man and forget there is what is call nature which may come to effect when he would find it hard to cope with,but still have patient and never double deal with him,maybe he would come back to his seven senses

2special:
kids comes with blessings, how? But most Families prefer having 4 maximum children ( blessings) to having 100 children (blessings).

Don't mind the idiot

HEAVEN4444:
people need to understand, children are not blessings. they are curses. another demonic entity from past life reincarnated through you for you to take care of till their real soul emerges ( in the teen age years ) and then the real entity from past life is manifested before your face. could be a killer ( seen many cases where the children kill the parents ) , you dont know what demonic spirit the LORD put into your womb. the entity stays in the womb for 9 months, comes out and is needy and cries all the time and is demanding, then gets to teenage years and is moody and then goes into the world to manifest its soul purpose after which trying to even contact you the parent is like hard work for them. like will this old man or woman just die already, i cant be dealing with old parents lol. i mean are people still romanticising having children in 2021 ? this whole matrix was unravelled during the covid thing and proved to be nothing but a matrix. all your programmed desires are just that, programmed desires. you better unprogram yourself from the matrix and start desiring things of higher value

now you may be highly favoured of the LORD and he allows a good soul to come through you, but for the most part, most of these souls out here are curses if they come through you

You're just a sadist and a narcissist. Were you a curse to your parents? When they say children are blessings or bring blessings, it necessarily doesn't mean they bring heaps of money. Just their presence is enough to bring joy into a home. Don't be unfortunate and stop talking rubbish.

Who even give these kids phones to type rubbish here? Go and grow up.

When you're ready madam, you'll have children. Having children is not on oga's court but you're. Except you're telling us that oga is not fertile. You but do have sex and you're still asking oga to get you pregnant.

Your earnings and that of your husband is 170k, una monthly salary will cover una yearly rent . Una dey live for one room selfcontain. Wetin una dey use una money do that he still want to make all the money in the world.

Beblessedbaba:
I so much like your husband. A very sensible man; you want to bring children into the world without proper planning on how to cater for them.

He has asked for patience for you guys to sort things out first. Madam better be calming down. By the way, you married a very focused and responsible man.

I do not understand what you mean that age is not on your side at 32. Please don't plunge this young man into 3rd level generational poverty (his parents got nada & his grandparents were peasant) rather divorce him quickly and marry a man who is ready to be popping children year in year out. Pity his ancestors as this young man out of the millions that we have has taken a better route instead of ritualism called Yahoo or scam that will still end of messing his later years up or cut down his life in it's prime or mortgage his children fortune.

NB: Do we even wonder why the Babalawo or Dibia that does juju or fetish rituals for Yahoo boys does not do likewise for his own children or himself. The answer is flowing in the wind.

Who says he can be focused with kids ,he needs to grow up and be a man indeed. IF HE ISNT READY Y MARRY IN FIRST PLACE ?

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

madam better relax ,you have been having sex with your husband and all this while no pregnancy madam you might have fertility issues dont overflog it ooo my own 2 cents

I'm surprised op, a woman, is complaining, you're a woman, be in control of sex, you can get pregnant if you're really serious about, boya when belle show he won't sit up and take responsibility, what a selfish alakoba man, a 32 year old woman fa

Madam op, be in control of your sex life from now on, you will get pregnant.

MrBrownJay1:


please do tell us what else you see in your crystal ball... and BTW stop assuming that because some are doing great with 170k, everyone should therefore have kids if they earn the same. jide isnt Ahmed nor is he Chris.



this issue has nothing to do with ambition and/or wisdom, but all to do with LIFE CHOICES. you cant force someone to do what they are not read/willing to do (just because thats what you want)



here are some bible verses to consider:

1 Peter 5:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Ans: Bible quote 1: The OP's husband is clearly not humble. He has an element of pride in him. "There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof is the way of death (destruction). Pride as you know comes before destruction - The 'destruction' here means it may be too late for him to realized is mistake.

Waiting on the lord does not meant he should be idle at the home front. He should continue to grow and nurture his family based on what God has provided for him now, while he continues to develop himself, and wait on God's further blessing.

Ans: Bible quote 2: You must have forgotten and now let me remind you of what God says - Prov. 18 vs 22. He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and he shall obtain the FAVOUR of the lord. Please note that the wife must be duly taken care of and made happy after you find her, you don't just treat your wife shabbily and as if she is nobody and has no emotions. The truth is if the wife is not happy with her, he may find it difficult to have a break through... There is so much to spiritual connection, between the husband and the wife, than meet the eye.

Ans: Bible quote 3: How can someone who is not considerate of his soul mate be joyful? Oh you must have forgotten that - it is the lord that giveth the power to make wealth (Deut. 18: 8 ) and you must have also forgotten, that children are gifts and the inheritance of the lord (Psalm 127:3)

UyaiIncomparabl:


I hope none of my cousins and friends meets you.

Why, what exactly did I do?

mechanics:
hmmmm, please don't say that.

I just said the truth.

It is what it is!

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

he is the best guy out there, no woman should force a man into getting kids when money no dey else una go just dey recycle poverty to take care of kids no be moin moin o! the problem is women are just after there own selfish interest they dont care how it is achieved. 170k in naija will not raise a family comfortably

Big issue for this woman, waiting for fibroid cus something must occupy a space at the end with age on the line u go manage get one child chapter close. the man is indirectly telling u i don't want so much kid or have gotten enough somehow

Raalsalghul:
I like your husband already.

100%
After that one , she would want another one

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

Since you want to get pregnant, don’t tell him about it.
Just have normal sexual relationships, if pregnancy comes, you carry your baby, if It doesn’t enter , keep waiting patiently

GboyegaD:


No come cause trouble ooo. Dis one for me fit end marriage as no more convo after you act. My only concern is "what was discussed about childbirth during courtship?"

True, but the guy could no longer be reasoned with fa. What was he thinking before getting married, did he not think his madam would want kids asap? He should serve biko.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

What I know when couples decide not to have baby they go for family planning but in your case you just married, relaxed and enjoy your marriage allow him pump in his akamu inside you and the rest is history. Make sure you meet him during you ovulation period let see if God will not dispose his proposal. No need to complain just pretend to follow along with him.
My 2 cents

UyaiIncomparabl:


You're just a sadist and a narcissist. Were you a curse to your parents? When they say children are blessings or bring blessings, it necessarily doesn't mean they bring heaps of money. Just their presence is enough to bring joy into a home. Don't be unfortunate and stop talking rubbish.

Who even give these kids phones to type rubbish here? Go and grow up.

There is nothing you folks will not say to defend generational poverty on Nairaland.

Nothing!

So you think most people are happy to be in this cruel world just because they were bundles of joy to their parents on their date of birth?

This thinking reinforces the selfish nature of humans one of which is currently being displayed by this Op: birthing kids which leaves them happy, bubbly and high with all other things not mattering.

Haba!

2special:
kids comes with blessings, how? But most Families prefer having 4 maximum children ( blessings) to having 100 children (blessings).

Never mind the dumb

Prugee:
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I'm married. Add me up.

sisisioge:


True, but the guy could no longer be reasoned with fa. What was he thinking before getting married, did he not think his madam would want kids asap? He should serve biko.

Are we sure they did not sieve this and madam felt in at most 3 years he will be ready and now he's obviously not?

A friend's experience was that they will wait till the wife starts her residency in the UK since she had passed PLAB. When that happened and they started trying, they realized madam had endometriosis. Long story short, they had to pay 16k pounds for IVF as they couldn't wait for the NHS list.

I think they can try one and then wait till he achieves whatever they planned before thinking of another.

As in... Una been dey do i love you, i miss you too prior to the wedding? Una no discuss about child bearing etc. Wtf is wrong with people dating in these age sef? Yall cant open your mouth and talk about important things when married. Yall be focused on who and who is cheating...rubbish

ogwuche4u:

Do you think money is happiness? Nobody is promised tomorrow. Make the best of today. There is joy with children. At 40 you want her to be attending PTA meetings. Why not give birth on time and enjoy old age in peace? I wish I had my first child at 25.

Yes there is joy with children as there is joy with money.
My brother, money gives happiness. You certainly don't know what it means to have children and not be able to care for them because you have no money. Let the man make enough of it as he wishes, children can come later when you can fend for them with ease.

He already gave her an option, if childbearing is her topmost priority she should file a divorce and get it elsewhere. That's how a focused man talks. It is not wise having kids in penury...... Look around you and see the evidences in slums today. 100k is nothing abeg

This is heart rending. I feel for you. Professional qualifications and the drive to succeed in a career are good objectives. He also has an idea in his head of what it means to be "well off enough" to bring a child into the world and I can't fault him for that. I am not going to ask why you guys didn't have these important discussions before you tied the knot. That is water under the bridge.

I agree with your analysis of your biological clock. After the age of 35, the risks and complications from child birth increases exponentially. Your husband is willing to let you go rather than have a kid right now. That must hurt, knowing he does not love you as much as he should. No one can talk to him about it as he has made himself unapproachable, even to his family.

It seems to me you have a decision to make. He has made his stand clear. Is having a child so important to you that you'd give up your current relationship? It's a decision you've got to make and make fast. Being angry with him and creating a toxic environment will not resolve the problem. There is no easy way out of this one. It is a sign of the very difficult times we live in. We have to make such decisions as we go through life. That is why it is very important to know what drives the person you want to marry, so you can jappa before you get to where you are now.

I just need to make the point that your husband is a singularly and fundamentally selfish individual. He must have known he was not ready for marriage given his own plans. He should not have dragged you into this situation. He should have had this conversation with you before hand and given you the opportunity to make a decision with regards to marrying him. This is the type of selfishness that I think should merit time spent at Her majesty's Pleasure, in decent societies. He wouldn't wish this on his own sister. As for those of you hailing him for his drive and all that, what is the point of drive and ambition when you are a scum?

I wish you well.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

Why didnt you guys discuss about kids during courtship? Even my girlfriend that i know i won't marry sef, we have been talking about how many kids we want.