RED & BLACK Flag

shantti:
I didnt read the story at all. But due to the longness of this epistle, it's a redflag

Loool

zedegit:


Our mothers were going to farm, market etc and still taking care of the home.

This generation slay mamas are something else.

we are no longer "all brawns" creatures. we are spending more energy on 'thinking' now than our ancestor ever did. Anyway, a relationship should be flexible, if she cant do both of cook nd do house chores then she can do either of both, and he also chooses one.

when the woman is stressed nd "wears off" he'd say she is no longer looking like d woman he married.. slay queen drama would now enter.

in my books, not a big deal. I'm single but wouldn't mind cooking nd even doing house chores. i enjoy doing it whilst listening to my favorite music. I'm in a different world literally. lol.

If she is working in a bank then it's expected. she's in cooperated into the eating outside culture of bankers. lol

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

My brother no lady is perfect so are you.. but like the old saying
That goes Charity begins at home maybe she would rather be thought about chores and taking care of her man
Well she's has become too comfortable in the relationship forgetting marriage is way different, well since is your house
And not yet married... Find time to clean up your house with alot of joy and smiles on your face make her watch you without asking for
any help from her then study her reactions..

Gabflex:

Wahala dey oooo.
A woman. Should be able to wake up early and fix breakfast b4 leaving home.
This thing u just said now is rubbish
If u are a girl u need to be single bcz u will kill somebody's son

Why should it be a woman? what happened to a man helping out and doing it.

A man with your reasoning don't you think you can also kill somebody's daughter?

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

this one pass red flag oo, just leave her so u can have peace of mind in the future

Bros run for ur life ,one day you fit turn to slave for ur own house,she never unleash the rest for u ,but once u marry her legally like this hmmm u go hear am oh ,a woman needs to behave like a woman ....

Boss, I think nobody has it completely. All the qualities you listed are more than enough for some people.

My advise is, you can try to be more involved when she is doing chores. (It comes easy to you because of your upbringing).

Lastly, I am a creative wedding photographer. I'll be happy to document your wedding.

Man go help only when needed but in this case things are different,a day shall come she’ll value her work more than her home ..

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Poor man checking and checking

So why didn’t her parents bring her up that way ?

Before you got a fiancee, who cooks for you? Go and marry an house help or a cook if thats your priority over being faithful and honest.

My brother you must be stupid for asking nairaland weather is a red flag before ur brain no tell you say na red flag?yeye na Bleep dey sweet you

Divoc19:
Not a red flag.
Look for other homely things she likes to do.
If she loves you she will learn with time.

I am not the cooking type too
So you are welcome

It's not a red flag? So who will be cooking for her husband and kids when they marry?

No be who suffer pass be wife material oo. Ladies no go kill yourself because you want to cook and tidy for somebody’s son.

Anyway, that said, I like to eat. So my husband will definitely always have something to eat. I also generally like a tidy place. However, I do deep cleaning once in a month

Emperor88:
Before you got a fiancee, who cooks for you? Go and marry an house help or a cook if thats your priority over being faithful and honest.

Let me help you a little as a brother. with what you just said she is the perfect woman for you. Marry women can cook, even prostitutes but finding a faithful woman is a luxury, many women can do house chores but finding one that is submissive and supportive(financially) is a luxury in our society today.

The only part you should be careful about is the 4 hours prayer. Make sure she is not "the pastor said" type. Aside that everyother thing can be learnt and if she agrees to share the bills with you on house help/cook then be it, it is called division of labor. The develop world are creating different technologies to make work easy for humans that doesn't mean they are lazy. We have machine that does laundry, dishes, sweeps etc. If you can afford an house help go for it and save your energy for something else

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

You dey mind the op ni....you see someone who is supportive in a society full with women that at parasites, you see a faithful woman in a society full of runs babes and girls. you are now looking for a cook that can easily be hired.

Timoleon:
Nooo it’s a white handkerchief

aanuoluwami14:
this one is new here on romance section, take time to read marriage Chronicles about men that married slay mamas, they are regretting it. You should think twice. A lady should know how to balance home duties with her career. All shouldn't be done by house maids only, she must be able to do some of them.

Slay mamas at not faithful, they are neither submissive nor supportive...they are the opposite some even cooks

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

You haven't made sense..

When she gives birth,the baby will cook by itself too abi?
I as a guy (student),I do have classes by 7am.I will wake up tidy, cook, exercise,bath and still get to class around 6:50am.Note that I stay off campus...so what's the big deal in waking up early to do stuff?

Emperor88:

You dey mind the op ni....you see someone who is supportive in a society full with women that at parasites, you see a faithful woman in a society full of runs babes and girls. you are now looking for a cook that can easily be hired.

Hiring a cook at this stage is equivalent to the guy hiring a side chick.

Why would you hire someone to do your duty when you are hale and healthy?And you won't be ashamed?

Emperor88:
Before you got a fiancee, who cooks for you? Go and marry an house help or a cook if thats your priority over being faithful and honest.

Now that he now has a fiancee, should there not be a difference?
I'm sure the guy offers the girl money and she collects...she should go and hire a sugar daddy too now.

She works long hours.

Get some cleaning and cooking devices to make both easier and faster. You can also do it together to lighten the load. And you can agree to eat out a couple nights a week.

Try a steam cleaner, broom vac, and portable dishwasher and portable washer for cleaning (if you can afford it, get large appliances). Get an air fryer, toaster oven, microwave, and manual veggie chopper for cooking.

Another thing you can do to make things easier is cook in bulk, and plan easy meals like pasta. For example, make a big pot/tray of jollof, and a big pot/tray of chicken on Sunday.

Candidlady:
She told you to hire house help.... Your fiancee not yet a wife ooo ...


And am here thinking am lazy... Toh!!!


Op abeg correct this your topic... It is confusing me

I swear, very confusing topic, The heading is a red flag already while the content of the post is very difficult to judge...!!

Yes darling. A Red flag.

If she can't cook now that your are just sleeping with each other, is it when you begin the "Journey To Forever" that she will cook and do house chores?

Please nobody should dusturb me.

I just finished my night workout. I want to go and bath naked. After that, I will watch TV and go and sleep.

Happy Sunday.

LotaTee:
She leaves for work by 7.30am and you still want her to cook for you and do house chores?Are you a slave master?You want to kill somebody's child because she agreed to date you?Abeg abeg, if you can't cook for yourself then hire a help.This shouldn't even be a problem talk more of bringing it to nairaland.

people that leave home by 7am still eat breakfast, even plus children and still take them to school while going to work.

There's nothing like slave master here, it's just about planning and adjustment.

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Why should she cook and do house chores, will you pay her for that?

Employ professionals for that.

2braithe:


Hiring a cook at this stage is equivalent to the guy hiring a side chick.

Why would you hire someone to do your duty when you are hale and healthy?And you won't be ashamed?

See mentality...those that hire drivers when they can drive are lazy? Its people like you that will say washing machines is for the lazy ones, that a good wife must always wash with there hands.

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Just a replica of my new babe. She will change and come aroumd, but I will advise you talk this over with her too. Goodluck

MPESA:



80% of Nigerians don't eat breakfast....dan9ice 2022..

This is absolutely Nonsense

90% of percentages are made on the spot. You can't blame him �

Emperor88:


See mentality...those that hire drivers when they can drive are lazy? Its people like you that will say washing machines is for the lazy ones, that a good wife must always wash with there hands.

You have not made any sense.

How will a single guy bring another woman to the house when a woman is present in the same house? And you compare that to a washing machine?

QuizPay:
I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

Is this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this?

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me, I did that too ecsetera. Her suggestion is for us to hire househelp (and house help is a no no for me, even if I will take in house help not now). The house is even small for house help to come in. Sometimes, she dodges cooking by trying to convince me to buy/order food while coming home etc, I do that sometimes but most time I decline and tell her to prepare food at home.

Although if I compel her to do things in romantic way sha she will do it but must I be compelling someone daughter in romantic ways always before doing what she needs to do ni. Also she works in a finance firm and leaves the house around after seven or 7:30am (House to work is close), back by 6pm but should this be an excuse to prepare dish for me, for someone that finds it difficult to prepare breakfast as Early as possible for just one person how much more when kids are involved waking up to take care of kids ecsetera. We agreed she will stop the work and I will set her up when we got marry and she promised after that she will be able to do the tidy and cooking very well . Planning to knot this year anyways, just a bit worry about this house chores of a thing which I have told her times without number...

The good part about her
* She is faithful and literally tells me everything that happens to her on daily basis.
*she can confidently give me her phone to work (this has happened twice, because I need to help in fixing her phone) , which I will give her updates about her callers, messages etc when she returns back from work and her phone has never be on lock.
*She is open and transparent
*She is supportive and submissive (with the time I have spent with her)
*She is a prayer warrior (she can pray for 4hours ), though she skips Sunday sometime because of resting. And Sometimes, i am tempted to tell her to reduce prayer at night so she can cook/tidy things that need to be tidy in the morning.

About me
Me: Am I.T guy, In aspects of earning I earn thrice more than her but I find it easy in doing house chores, (my mama taught me well you know) do dishes and tidy up things myself, (that was how she knows me) and always putting things in place, provides everything needed, supportive etc...Am the kind of person I return home late sometimes because after leaving my official work, I check in my personal business before going home.. So something 9pm or 10pm or 11pm (depends on traffic) before I get back home.

To married people, Councillors, experienced people in the house, , I will like your contribution in terms of House chores issue and wife responsibility etc, It can help me or some people out there in this kind of similar situation. Thank.. (no insult I beg.)

Use her for money rituals