BluntTheApostle:


Please, check the link.

It does not work.

Try it again please

Kobojunkie:
Please read through the following articles before you continue..

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-distinguish-between-normal-marital-arguments-and-abuse#manipulation

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/202008/parent-adolescent-and-the-use-and-abuse-nagging

Kobojunkie:
1. What article would that be and where is this stated in it?

The original post began with domestic violence being an epidemic.

And without warning, it goes immediately into discussing physical abuse, and that is all.

Kobojunkie:
Try it again please

OK.

So, what is exactly is your argument?

BluntTheApostle:
The original post began with domestic violence being an epidemic.

And without warning, it goes immediately into discussing physical abuse, and that is all.

Let's assume you are right, what is wrong with posting an article focused mainly on addressing the physical aspect of domestic violence against women in Nigeria?

Her focus is on physical violence.... nothing stops another from broaching the same issue from another angle on another thread, instead of putting her doen down not considering it from all angles, right?,

BluntTheApostle:
OK.

So, what is exactly is your argument?

Nagging isn't always verbal abuse.

Simran94:


Apostle, let me ask a question ooo.
If you and your fellow guy are having an argument and words start getting exchanged, would you start beating the guy?

Guy-guy fight is a different ballgame, Simran

QuinModah:
Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it

Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant

The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out

Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017

If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister

If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it

When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear

Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear

Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband

This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness


its simple my sisters

From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you

The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem

if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u

so true my sister

https://gist.am/question/domestic-violence-is-an-accepted-nigerian-epidemic

BluntTheApostle:


Guy-guy fight is a different ballgame, Simran

And why is it different? Because you men see women as the weaker gender that can be treated however and wouldn’t be able to defend themselves?
Why is a Guy-guy fight different because a man can defend himself from his fellow man but a woman cannot defend herself from a man?

Let’s say a man starts to beat up his wife, then his wife decided to defend herself by hitting something on his head and he dies in the process, Can that be called self-defense on the woman’s part?

Kobojunkie:
Nagging isn't always verbal abuse.

But it is always emotional abuse.

Not even you can tolerate it. It is bad for everyone.

BluntTheApostle:
But it is always emotional abuse.
Not even you can tolerate it. It is bad for everyone.

Nagging isn't always emotional abuse either.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse

Simran94:


And why is it different? Because you men see women as the weaker gender that can be treated however and wouldn’t be able to defend themselves?
Why is a Guy-guy fight different because a man can defend himself from his fellow man but a woman cannot defend herself from a man?

Let’s say a man starts to beat up his wife, then his wife decided to defend herself by hitting something on his head and he dies in the process, Can that be called self-defense on the woman’s part?

Don't get me wrong, Simran.

What I meant was the relationship between a man and a woman in a domestic setting may be difficult to generalize to relationships outside the domestic settings.

A woman may not nag her female friend for the same reason that she might even deafen her husband.

Every relationship is peculiar.

Some of these nagging women may not even be able to nag their younger brothers.

Kobojunkie:
Nagging isn't always emotional abuse either.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse

It always is.

It is an abuse.

Kobojunkie:
Let's assume you are right, what is wrong with posting an article focused mainly on addressing the physical aspect of domestic violence against women in Nigeria?

Her focus is on physical violence.... nothing stops another from broaching the same issue from another angle on another thread, instead of putting her doen down not considering it from all angles, right?,

Then, she should have stated it in the preamble.

If the intention of the writer is to discuss one aspect of domestic violence, then this is a badly written article.

It fails to warn the readers that there are other forms of domestic abuse.

BluntTheApostle:
It always is.
It is an abuse.

Please read that article.... nagging isn't emotional abuse unless when it is used to that end.

BluntTheApostle:
Then, she should have stated it in the preamble.

If the intention of the writer is to discuss one aspect of domestic violence, then this is a badly written article.

It fails to warn the readers that there are other forms of domestic abuse.

LOL... this is nairaland, not psychologytoday.com abeg!

Kobojunkie:
Nagging isn't always emotional abuse either.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201609/when-is-it-emotional-abuse

If your spouse suddenly call you derogatory names under the guise of nagging, just as u are about stepping out for work in the morning, how will u feel?

For instance a spouse tell their partner --- "you are a ---!" The partner day is already damaged.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
If your spouse suddenly call you derogatory names under the guise of nagging, just as u are about stepping out for work in the morning, how will u feel?

For instance a spouse tell their partner --- "you are a ---!" The partner day is already damaged.

---- 'You are a ---' is an example of emotional abuse... and this abuse does not always come in the form of nagging.

So, as the article says, nagging in, and of itself, is not emotional abuse. It becomes such when it is used to that end.

Parents nag their kids every day in order to get them to do chores, homework etc. That does not construe emotional abuse. Some wife's find they have to nag their husbands from time to time in order to get them to do chores or other errands.

Klass99:


How did things finally end with your niece? The one you said wanted to marry into a barracks?

That stupid girl got me arrested for stalking.

You can imagine the audacity. I am sure the boy is behind it. Because that girl would dare not lodge a complaint against me at the police station all by herself.

The police have had me sign an undertaking. And right there, I told her she was the one disowning me. And she could not say anything. I thought she was remorseful. So, I tried to reach out to her only to discover that she has blocked me everywhere, even on Facebook.

So, it has been a while we talked or saw.

At this stage, I can only pray for her.

BluntTheApostle:
That stupid girl got me arrested for stalking.

You can imagine the audacity. I am sure the boy is behind it. Because that girl would dare not lodge a complaint against me at the police station all by herself.

The police have had me sign an undertaking. And right there, I told her she was the one disowning me. And she could not say anything. I thought she was remorseful. So, I tried to reach out to her only to discover that she has blocked me everywhere, even on Facebook.
So, it has been a while we talked or saw.At this stage, I can only pray for her.

ROFLMAO


Na wa oo!

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO


Na wa oo!

Kobojunkie, are you male or female?

And any story behind that moniker of yours?

Kobojunkie:
---- 'You are a ---' is an example of emotional abuse... and this abuse does not always come in the form of nagging.

So, as the article says, nagging in, and of itself, is not emotional abuse. It becomes such when it is used to that end.

Parents nag their kids every day in order to get them to do chores, homework etc. That does not construe emotional abuse. Some wife's find they have to nag their husbands from time to time in order to get them to do chores or other errands.

Okay no probs

The only problem is that some usually add insult to their nagging.

U hear things like:

"Good for nothing man"
"Stubborn boy"
"Foolish boy"
"Dumb girl"
"Efulefu"
"Olodo"

The list is endless.

BluntTheApostle:


Don't get me wrong, Simran.

What I meant was the relationship between a man and a woman in a domestic setting may be difficult to generalize to relationships outside the domestic settings.

A woman may not nag her female friend for the same reason that she might even deafen her husband.

Every relationship is peculiar.

Some of these nagging women may not even be able to nag their younger brothers.

LOL, okay.

VeeVeeMyLuv:

Okay no probs

The only problem is that some usually add insult to their nagging.

U hear things like:

"Good for nothing man"
"Stubborn boy"
"Foolish boy"
"Dumb girl"
"Efulefu"
"Olodo"

The list is endless.

Emotional abuse is emotional abuse... whether coupled with nagging or not. And it is unacceptable behavior.

Simran94:


LOL, okay.

I used to have a friend who had a sister of about 18 years, and still used to beat her.

There was a day we were hanging out and having some beers at a joint, when the owner of the joint and his wife suddenly began to quarrel. The man wanted to get physical, and my friend and I and some other people quickly jumped between them.

My friend was like, "Calm down Oga, na woman you wan' beat so? It is not good to beat woman."

Imagine what was coming out from the mouth of someone who still beat his adult sister?

So after we had pacified the couple, we went back to our tables. So, I asked my friend, "So you know it is bad to hit a woman?" He said, "Yes na". So, I reminded him about how he used to beat his adult sister. The man said his own case was different.

I hope you understand me now, Simran.

This man did not see anything wrong beating up his sister, but sees everything wrong in beating his wife. But his abuse not abuse?

I tell you that there are women who may not see anything wrong in their elder brother hitting them, but will see everything wrong in their husband hitting them.

That is why I said the guy-guy relationship is different. The way a man may react to provocation from a friend may e different from how reacts to provocation from his spouse, same with the woman.

A woman may normalize abuse from an elder brother but will shout murder when her husband gives her a light slap.

BluntTheApostle:
Kobojunkie, are you male or female?

And any story behind that moniker of yours?

I am what I like to call, these days, gender fluid. I leave others to decide what gender assignment to give me as they please.

As for my moniker, i was born back when the Nigerian Kobo still had some value to it, hence the moniker Kobojunkie.

Kobojunkie:
I am what I like to call, these days, gender fluid. I leave others to decide what gender assignment to give me as they please.

As for my moniker, i was born back when the Nigerian Kobo still had some value to it, hence the moniker Kobojunkie.

I remembered the days of the kobo, especially iced water and kulikuli.

BluntTheApostle:
I remembered the days of the kobo, especially iced water and kulikuli.

.. and bread.

How

Kobojunkie:
I am what I like to call, these days, gender fluid. I leave others to decide what gender assignment to give me as they please.

Bespectacled, brown chocolate lady.

Ishilove:

Bespectacled, brown chocolate lady.

You forgot to indicate personality put....