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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand (33498 Views)
My Mum Bullying My Dad Is Getting Out Of Hand!!! / My Son's Behavior Is Getting Out Of Hand / My Ex Said Her Son Is Mine - Please Advise (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by chccho(m): 9:33am On Jun 09, 2022 |
AllBlack:Oga Judge so after all this your condemnation and blames how have u helped the poor woman with any solution your whole epistle is full with negativity no meaningful contribution. Clap for yourself o |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:33am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody:you should know at that age they are going to go wild and stuff but another thing that matters is environment. your 2md boy has turned to Yahoo boy wannabe so now, they gonn learn theirselves there's really nothing you can do but wait 4 them to return home when I was that age, all I knew was play station. I never gave my maa headaches but I'd delay house chores and come back at 11 PM cos of being in a game house all day at my own time I got tired and as they get older they mature but the current generation now omo it's only luck that can help you o if they don't do something disastrous b4 they mature 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by incogni2o: 9:33am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: Prayer and Patient will do the work. Prayer and Patience Thank me Later. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by CSTRR: 9:34am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Poor parenting. When there were still children, that is when you should have bend them to shape. If you had shown them the severest discipline when they were younger,they won't be this spoilt. I know some full grown men with children that are still scared of their mother till today. They don't dare talk back to their mother even in her old age because she will not shy away from slapping. That is the kind of mother you should have been as a single mother early on in their life. Set boundariy for them and enforce it strictly. Single mothers raising male children have to the job of the father by being a strict disciplinarian. You dropped the ball seriously and it is too late. 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:34am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: What you failed to do when they were less than 10 you think you can do now. It's actually late, only prayers can make a difference here. For your child to have a girlfriend at 19 that you are aware of shows how bad of a parent you were. It's a cross you are definitely going to bear. The only way out is involving your husband's family... The men there. Then make rules for your home... Anybody that cannot abide by it you throw him out. My son is a stubborn boy, I saw it on time and I bent him. I don't show mercy when you want to show muscle. Nobody needed to let him know that some behaviours are not welcomed. 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Nobody: 9:35am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You should have remarried when you had an opportunity to do so , is only prayers that you need right now . 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by CAPSLOCKED: 9:35am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Cutehector: A SECTION OF THE WORLD'S MALE POPULATION ARE SAYING NO TO SINGLE MOMS. COULD IT STILL BE THE "EGO" FACTOR? OR IN ADDITION TO OTHER BAGGAGES THEY CARRY ABOUT? |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by olanrewaju99(m): 9:35am On Jun 09, 2022 |
ibechris:well said |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by nedekid: 9:36am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Madam, it's too late. Those boys must have been showing signs form earlier age, but you condoled them. Now they have gone beyond control. I doubt if talking to them will make any difference. If you had money, maybe you could change their environment. My kid sister was so terrible in sec sch. Repeated a class, had no interest in studies. She then started following one "boy friend".. My and by bro even captured the boy once and gave him some blows. When we saw at the rate things were going, belle will be the next thing, popsi, package my sis to the UK. Omo, she made a first class, did her masters etc! Became a banker! Change those boys environment, put them in strict uni eg convent University, send them abroad etc. 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Light78: 9:36am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I think you have been pampering him so much. You need to discipline him if he does anything wrong, in that way you will save him from future embarrassment. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by AllBlack: 9:37am On Jun 09, 2022 |
enonche85: As for way forward, paragraph 2 covers that. Though there is little or nothing our online suggestions can do for a woman who must have burnt all her important family bridges and caused the damage by overlooking the early rot signals. I was a very bad child, still a bad guy but there many things my mom must not hear or see about me even as a married man. Why? Because I know she will start fighting against those things as soon as she sees them so i already know it is a waste of time for me to even get involved with such in the first place. She always makes her stance against rubbish very clear. Come to think of it, you might be shocked to hear first hand appalling information from her neighbors, family and friends concerning details on how she raised the boys. Those boys just might be the main victims of bad parenting. Maybe. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by CSTRR: 9:37am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Single mothers cannot afford to just be motherly. You have to be fatherly as well. If you are too soft, you will regret it. Only mothers with present husbands can afford to be soft. 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Bravospiff: 9:37am On Jun 09, 2022 |
It the duty of your brothers especially the youths to teach them some manners, "A child can play with the breast of the mother, but he cannot do same with the di*k of the father" |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by yellowgarri2(m): 9:38am On Jun 09, 2022 |
UpInTheSky:if you follow this advice, those young adults can kill you. Jail isn't a place to be |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by tmoneyu: 9:38am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody:I think you need help, I can feel your pain but u got it all wrong because u did not start in time to discipline them, try a priest, pastor or a man with a good back ground to talk to them, stop giving them assistance and pretend u are very sick. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by odebmart(m): 9:38am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Welcome to the club, I have four boys two young adults 19 and 16yrs, one pre-teen and a hyper active four years old. Am a single Dad. Through all this challenges I eventually succeeded in making them into friends, sometimes parents leave issues unchecked until it gets out of hand then they try to fix it. In the early stage of the child's life you play but discipline them well, when they get to the teen age, build strong friendship with them. I always warn parents never try to strike or hit your children once they are 15yrs especially the boys you will create enemy for yourself. My simple advice is sit them down and have a heart to heart talk with them, tell them about the great guy their dad was without trying to compare him to them, those boys need their father and has been hurting for years which is just playing out now, and please stop reminding them of how much sacrifice you have made for them, they know and appreciate it, accept them as growing men and treat them as such without acting weak, they will take advantage of it, give them responsibilities so they can feel that you see them as grown ups and they will protect you. As for the going out and wasteful habit, it started as an act of rebellion against you, but you can change that, though it won't go away overnight but gradually it will reduce. Just build back trust, make them into your friends, at first they will be on guard but after a while they will relax . Please never ever compare them to others. An lastly pray for divine help, most people don't believe in the power of prayer anymore but it still works. 2 Likes |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by chccho(m): 9:39am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Bahamas95:Even u are a Monster too with what u posted up there. When u born your own we go see how u go do. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by toujurs: 9:40am On Jun 09, 2022 |
One of the reasons most father's barely laugh with their kids, because it brings insults. Just one slap, you will have double sense immediately l 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by alasane: 9:41am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody: @red is the only option now |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by faoogoke(m): 9:42am On Jun 09, 2022 |
[1quote author=Anobody post=113620559]I'm a single mother of two teenage sons, lost my husband 10 years ago and have been struggling to cater for them singlehandedly. My first son is 19 and the last 17 years but I'm getting fed up with the disrespect and regret not taking them to the village so I could remarry. They both left secondary school and working to save up for school and I don't ask them for a dime. My last son suddenly started behaving like a tout, pierced both ears and turning his hair to dread, takes my stuff without my permission and even to extent of holding my hands when I get furious to beat him. My first son is dating a girl and spends all his money on her to the extend of asking me for transport fare sometimes. Sometimes they come home by 10 or 11pm and are ready to fight me if I get furious to discipline them. What broke the camel's back was that my last son went to a friend's bday party overnight without telling me, my first son said he called to tell him he won't return and NONE OF THEM TOLD ME under my roof. I've tried talking calmly, denying certain privilege and discipline but it keeps getting worse, my last option is to take them back to their father's village before I die of hbp. I'm depressed nairalanders�, please I seek matured advice, thanks. Please help me push to front page[/quote] At the moment only prayers can save your child. Training a child starts from childhood but it seems you left it rather late. Beating won't achieve anything. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by lereinter(m): 9:42am On Jun 09, 2022 |
There's nothing God can't do But na hard work dey your hand |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Olumaeme: 9:43am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I guess you didn't bring them up well, maybe due to your struggle of working hard to cater for their needs. however, all you need now is subtly talking to them and sometimes reading the riot act to them, that whenever they get into trouble, you will not be there to help them and back it up with actions. 1 Like |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by oliverwrites: 9:43am On Jun 09, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1:Not too late. Get them arrested. Let them spend three to six months in the police cell and they will be fine. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Victoronah1: 9:43am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody:first of all, not everyone who has dread is bad. I pierced my ear at an early age like your son, my mum didn't like it but she never talked to me, it was me that removed the earrings by myself as I got fed up, I'm the first son oo, I do plait my hair then, at a time I got fed up and removed it. My parents learnt the technique of silence. They don't talk, just be looking at me, I was getting fed up myself, and stopped all these. When I was in uni, they introduced me to smoke weed, I tried it, but guess what, I was not smoking it, today I'm in my, 20's I have a car, I have a land, I am the most successful in my house, my cousin's call me to beg me money. Try and learn something from what I wrote. Sometimes it's better to act you are not there, leave him to pierce his ears, carry dread locks, it's his age, if he doesn't do it now, it will pain him, he will be the one to understand that he is tired. But for him having a girlfriend, tell him that since he is man enough, he should not ask you anything again, as long as he has a girlfriend. But give him food, but never give him money, let the girl run away from poverty and call your son broke ass. And also, if you use to give him money to buy cloth, insist on buying the clothes for him from today, and tell him you don't trust him with money, as long as he has a girlfriend, then you will be buying the clothes for him. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by bukatyne(f): 9:43am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chatinent: @bold: Actually the genesis of the problem. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by blingxx(m): 9:44am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chukwuibuipob: Wtf 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Damian10(m): 9:45am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Get some family members to help you talk sense into them but if it fails to yield positive results, Go hard on them because the calm motherly love you show them makes you appear weak in their eyes. Draw the lines and kick them out. If there are tough enough, there are old enough. The street will teach them the hard way. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Dirpetaner: 9:46am On Jun 09, 2022 |
You can't control another human being! The age they are now is just normal to see all these changes in young adults. Their hormone is pumping at a faster rate... you are the one that needs to be talked to especially when you want to 'DISCIPLINE' 17 years old....the statement is not well explained...Everything will normalised just always remind them how you love them and give them a story about a boy that followed his mom instruction and how he made it big....you know these lies now!!! |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Crvrider: 9:46am On Jun 09, 2022 |
AllBlack: Pathetic response. You seem to judge and blame her for everything without first putting yourself in her shoes. It's hard enough for two parents how much more one. You talk about burning bridges like you think it's a convenient thing for her to do. My wife's friend lost her husband in a car accident, after the burial, all his family members promised heaven and earth. Trust me when I tell you that today it's a different story, no one wants to help. When you don't know someone's story, next time, show empathy if you can't offer help. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by AllBlack: 9:46am On Jun 09, 2022 |
chccho: Help which poor woman? See how you get carried away by emotions and the woman's side of the story. Now who is the judge? Have you heard the boy's side of the story? Have you sat down to think that those boys might actually be the true victims of horrible parenting in this matter? No, you only think one way. Solution? What can your online advice do? Captain HELPER! Why don't you ask the woman for her address so you can go there and sit the boys down for a chat yourself. Do that if you really have interest in helping but you will not. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by Originalsly: 9:47am On Jun 09, 2022 |
I wonder of some people read before advising. One guy left ... said he is not returning home. How is she going to take him to the village?... or get someone to talk to him? They are 19 and 17 year olds... if they don't have respect for their mother then respect can only come by force. Who is going to do that?.. which family member or pastor? Their father passed since they were 9 and 7..... clearly she did not train nor discipline them. It is too late now... training time has passed ... bend the tree when it is young.... now here she is complaining that the old tree is not bending . Parents should take note... this is nothing new. |
Re: My 17yrs Old Son Is Getting Out Of Hand by kophy(m): 9:47am On Jun 09, 2022 |
Anobody:Hmmmm, madam Well done, you have really tried, but my best advice is for you to tell them your mind and if it persist tell them to leave. Though telling them yo leave is a very hard decision to take, especially as they are all you have. However, if you Interfere too much in their affairs,? It is very dangerous. You don't know who their friends are, you don't know what they are up to?? I am sure you heard News about how Boys starb their father or mother. If you think about this, better still do this it will work wonders for you though very difficult. CAN YOU KEEP ON LOOKING THEM AS IF THEY DON'T EXIST? (Sorry about this) Whatever they do don't talk just ignore, as if you don't see them do this for a month. If they don't change, then you can tell them to leave or you relocate or you travel or you give them space in the house. Last but not the least, never report them to the Police as that will worsen the situation. Sorry if I have advised wrongly ma! I am a father too. |
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