₦airaland Forum

xhero: I just finished youth service, still hustlin to get a gud job and she wz d best tin dat cud eva happen to a guy...supportive,luvin, carin and independent! She alwayz like to pay for our movie tickets and wen she realized dat it wz begining to upset me, she wud first go to the cinemas, buy the tickets b4 comin to my house so i wudnt av a choice. She luved takin care of the bills and dats y i cud always freely spend everytin i had on her...God rest her soul...she passed away last year november and i'v bin broken eva since..they don't come like dat any more.

sorry for yur loss bro

Mine is wit a girl that eats a lot...
Cos of her, i stopped buying some stuffs like a crate of eggs and a carton of indomie in school.
Nevertheless, she'll complain she's loosing weight and i'm not takin care of her.
Girl, you eat too much.
Just cos yur mouth is bitter, yu take 10-12 sppons of milo.
The other time at a fast food, you requested for another piece of chicken. What's wrong with the one you just ate?
Ain't yu ever satisfied?

You days are numbered gurl.

^lmfaoooo!!!!

See u complaining, jus say u broke. Haba! Feed d girl Jare!

@Xhero sorry for your loss girls like that are rare but God will always find a way to console you.

WoBem: It ws her 22nd birthday. I offered her d opportunity 2 celebrate it in my home. She couldnt hesitate 2 come around. I entertained her nd presented appealin gifts 2 her. She couldnt resist d passion dat ws burning within us. Afta a long pre-intimacy, she striped 4 me nd we had a 45 mins love nd made vows to marry each other. Both of us are level 2 students of BUK and hop to b married upon grduation. I love her more dan i can say. She s d queen of my heart

Wait till she's in 400L, you go know say all this one na mushy mushy love una dey do ! Shine your Eyes ooooo

Thanks y'all...its one of those misfortunes of life dat one has to live wit...@lillaowow no go kill me wit laff abeg!!!

gacha: Wait till she's in 400L, you go know say all this one na mushy mushy love una dey do ! Shine your Eyes ooooo

guy wish dem well na,which kind bad belle be ds na,lolz

Chirolechick: guy wish dem well na,which kind bad belle be ds na,lolz

I tire!

xhero: Thanks y'all...its one of those misfortunes of life dat one has to live wit...@lillaowow no go kill me wit laff abeg!!!

my brother, that's the situation i find masef ooo
it would have been better if she eats real food, but NO, she prefers JUNKS...........4 scotch eggs, 2 bottles of viju milk, biscuit dipped in Mayonnise, etc etc
At first, i used to dare her she can't eat stuffs like that BUT, men na trouble....
Remembered a time i wanted to satisfy her hunger...took her to chicken republic in skul..after a plate of fried rice with chicken..she said she wanted a chicken pie with ice cream... I had a bet wit her she wouldn't finish it...she said i wld have to buy two more if she did...... mEN, my eye clear when she asked that the third one be packed as "take away"......
dis girl eats much men..... piles of junks......

lillaowow: my brother, that's the situation i find masef ooo
it would have been better if she eats real food, but NO, she prefers JUNKS...........4 scotch eggs, 2 bottles of viju milk, biscuit dipped in Mayonnise, etc etc
At first, i used to dare her she can't eat stuffs like that BUT, men na trouble....
Remembered a time i wanted to satisfy her hunger...took her to chicken republic in skul..after a palte of fried rice with chicken..she said she wants a chicken pie with ice cream... I had a bet wit her she wouldn't finish it...she said i wld have to buy to more if she did...... mEN, my eye clear when she asked that the third one be packed as "take away"......
dis girl eats much men..... piles of junks......

Dat na gluttoness...

Lmfaoooo! She b Tarzan?

Had bad romantic times,don't want to remember ,some of us are not destined to have good memories

Idowuogbo: Dat na gluttoness...

Lmfaoooo! She b Tarzan?

dis one pass Tarzan

have you ever seen a girl wake up in the middle of the night to check her bag if she would find TOM-TOM?

@xhero, I'm desperately sorry for ur loss. D thing pain me to my bone marrow. May d good Lord give u a woman much beta than her.

fankasibe: if God ask me to kill u wit a single bullet i swear i will waste seven bullets on u...... U ar too foolish to be smart, i Bleep galz and not galz fu'cking wit me coz i'm a 9ja breed.

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fankasibe: if God ask me to kill u wit a single bullet i swear i will waste seven bullets on u...... U ar too foolish to be smart, i Bleep galz and not galz fu'cking wit me coz i'm a 9ja breed.

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fankasibe: if God ask me to kill u wit a single bullet i swear i will waste seven bullets on u...... U ar too foolish to be smart, i Bleep galz and not galz fu'cking wit me coz i'm a 9ja breed.

hmmm you neva jam. Na guys like you go end up washing a ladies under wears.

It was on my birthday when I received a phone call from my girl to breeze in campus which I did. As I got to campus, we walked straight into a hall, were watching a movie, . . . Of recent, my departmental president was beginning to cling to her but I would always turn a blind eye. So on that day while we were watching a movie, she just, all of a sudden, screamed "chei!! presido must have finished his project defense oh. Let's go and watch him". Initially, I refused but she later convinced me in which I followed her up. I happened to be a very popular guy in campus and I've gat that high rep in my department as ogbuefi so while we mere climbing the stairs, my colleagues were packed in one corner checking their released result(s) as school had just resumed . . . as we reached the first floor, she saw my departmental president, screamed "presido!!!", ran towards him, jumped on him and kissed him while all my colleagues(senior, junior and level) watched in a boolean eye movement(from her to me) because they all knew I was dating her . . . presido lamented her refusal to watch his defense and she promised to make it up to him that night. Meanwhile, I don swallow spittle tire everybody dey watch. . .
Fast forward, about a week later, I was swaggering towards the department when I noticed everyone staring at me and I was like "wetin I do again? I wear back of shirt? I wear 'rice and beans' shoe? my kokoro dey show? . . ." As soon as I reached my department, the first thing I noticed was my picture, her pix and that of my president on our notice board. She was the newly crowned queen and our editorial board was interviewing her. During the interview, she was asked and I quote this "Sometime last week, eye witness(es) watched you run into the arms of the departmental president and you also locked a kiss with him with your supposed boyfriend(me) watching. . ." and she cuts "Nsikan and I weren't dating". madam, end am there nah, she no gree. Then she added "we were close because he would always help me with my assignments. You know how difficult calculus, programming, statistics, kirchhoff's rule and others were now? Whenever I call on him to help me with my assignments, he would never disappoint me . . . " . . . Worse still, it took the DOI donkey years to update our notice board. I need not tell you how that semester went on
And my name changed from ogbuefi to assignment boyfriend.



I've tried so hard to summarize it. It was actually longer than that

I had an experience back when I left school and I meet a very pretty girl who was just trying to get an apartment with her female friend and younger brother. We got talking and she asked me where I was working and I told her that I work with a company as an office boy and she told me that she is a nurse while I work with a bank. I had to hide where I work from her to know if she loves me as she said. I helped her to get some items for her when she requested, like stove and carpet. We started our relationship and some of my friends knew about her.
On one of these days, a friend of mine visited me from school and we went to her house to see her, I discovered that a Naval officer came to pick her out.When she saw us, she walked passed us and entered the man's car and they left.
2 weeks later, I was blessed with one of the best Honda car. Her friend saw me getting groceries from a supermarket and went home to tell her. The fool came to my place and wanted me at all cost.
I took her out with her friend and a friend of mine. When we got to a club, she wanted some drinks and food and I asked her to inform the waiter herself and the friend the best and to make the order by herself.
While everyone was busy dancing and she was eating with her friend and enjoying themselves, I informed my guy to discharge to the car and he did. I left the girl and her friend with the unsettled bill and discharged from the club with an excuse that I wanted to ease myself. I switched off my phones.

later next day when I came back from work, she came calling to ask me what happened and I told her that she should meet her Naval friend to pay her bills as she told me that they were arrested by the club as they had no money and that it was a man that helped pay their bill totaling 27,800k

I gav my gal a surprised visit 2 whr she base bcuz it was her b/day. I dint call her b4 goin just bcuz i neva wanted 2 raise her expectations. And am d type dat buys gift 4 my gf virtualy every wk. But dis time, i was broke. So wen i reach, i called her and later dat evenin, she came 2c me whr i was with my friends. She asked 2c me in private, so i excused my friends. I was surprised wen she asked me "if i came 4 her or 4 somtin else?" i answered, "i came 4u." B4 den, she has started receivin calls left, right n center. And her tone toward me hav rili changed. She den pleaded wit me 2 go n c 1 of her pastor daddy. We took a cab n as we whr goin, she continue receiving calls. I was amazed wen she told me dat her daddy wil bring her back home in his car, i was rily pissed, i immediately ask d driver 2 stop me. I was just strollin bak home consolin mysef wen she sent 3 diff. text apologisin but i neva replied. To cut it short, dis has bin a gal dat wil cal me weneva she's feelin honny, beggin me 2com n cuddle n chestise her. And i hav alwyz bin dia 4 her 2giv her affection just d way she want. Bcuz i found out dat "quality time" has bin her luv language. Three days later, i asked her 2com 2c if i'd mak tinz work better. But dis time, she has bin so unreasonable n disrespectful. So wen i wanted 2 travel bak, she cudn't com 2c me But una no go beliv say i no fit c photosynthesis dis tim around, 4 food dat has bin at my disposal. And despite my effort, tins seems 2b fallin apart.

@ Ogbuefi

Lmfaoooo!!

andyanders: I had an experience back when I left school and I meet a very pretty girl who was just trying to get an apartment with her female friend and younger brother. We got talking and she asked me where I was working and I told her that I work with a company as an office boy and she told me that she is a nurse while I work with a bank. I had to hide where I work from her to know if she loves me as she said. I helped her to get some items for her when she requested, like stove and carpet. We started our relationship and some of my friends knew about her.
On one of these days, a friend of mine visited me from school and we went to her house to see her, I discovered that a Naval officer came to pick her out.When she saw us, she walked passed us and entered the man's car and they left.
2 weeks later, I was blessed with one of the best Honda car. Her friend saw me getting groceries from a supermarket and went home to tell her. The fool came to my place and wanted me at all cost.
I took her out with her friend and a friend of mine. When we got to a club, she wanted some drinks and food and I asked her to inform the waiter herself and the friend the best and to make the order by herself.
While everyone was busy dancing and she was eating with her friend and enjoying themselves, I informed my guy to discharge to the car and he did. I left the girl and her friend with the unsettled bill and discharged from the club with an excuse that I wanted to ease myself. I switched off my phones.

later next day when I came back from work, she came calling to ask me what happened and I told her that she should meet her Naval friend to pay her bills as she told me that they were arrested by the club as they had no money and that it was a man that helped pay their bill totaling 27,800k

Wickedness!!! Chineke!

U bedt mehn...

lillaowow: dis one pass Tarzan

have you ever seen a girl wake up in the middle of the night to check her bag if she would find TOM-TOM?

Na ur fault o! U for stuff ur own Tom Tom inside her mouth na! Lmfaoooo...

Boyloaf: sometime around december 2009, my gf who av dated for 4years was abt to crumble my hrt!
Firstly, she went out clubbin wit a new toaster n called me around 12am dat she was comin to my place after clubbin, meanin i shud stay awake 2 open d gate to my compound; she came 30mins after d call n i allowed her in. I calmly xplained to her how hurtin i was due to her recent actions n at d end of my speech, i told her ''I LOVE U'', she did nt respond, i repeated d quoted phrase, then she shouted at me sayin ''AND SO WAT?''
Secondly, i went to see her at her crib, met her already dressed n ready to go out, asked her where she was up to, and she said ''a show'', i asked wit who? She did nt respond, then i said i came to spend weekend wit her, but she wasn't concerned abt dat, she got out of d room, asked me out n locked her door, as i was tryin to plead her to remember how far we've come togeda, while holdin her hands, unxpectedly, she turned around n pushed me n i fell to d ground like a baby, ''SMH'' hurtin my arms in d process, afterwhich i allowed her to go for her show wit whoeva. After sometime minutes of her departure , she sent an apology text but i did nt bother to reply.
Thirdyly, we were togeda at my place, d toaster called her fone, n she asked him to drive down to my area, went out to meet wit him, i followed her to where d guy was, n asked her there n then to choose between me n d guy who she wanted to follow, n shockinly, she chosed d guy, n i left n went into my apartment. That was how d relationship ended.
BUT after some months, she came bak begin me to accept her bak dat it was d devil's hand work. But as usual, i calmly told her, it was too late to apologise.

you must realy be an AGIDI n Water yam

LMFAO cant just stop dis, dis thread is ova killing

@ author=hollandis,thought i was the only one with horrible dates.glad i saw my kind.its well with us ooo nne

Boyloaf: sometime around december 2009, my gf who av dated for 4years was abt to crumble my hrt!
Firstly, she went out clubbin wit a new toaster n called me around 12am dat she was comin to my place after clubbin, meanin i shud stay awake 2 open d gate to my compound; she came 30mins after d call n i allowed her in. I calmly xplained to her how hurtin i was due to her recent actions n at d end of my speech, i told her ''I LOVE U'', she did nt respond, i repeated d quoted phrase, then she shouted at me sayin ''AND SO WAT?''
Secondly, i went to see her at her crib, met her already dressed n ready to go out, asked her where she was up to, and she said ''a show'', i asked wit who? She did nt respond, then i said i came to spend weekend wit her, but she wasn't concerned abt dat, she got out of d room, asked me out n locked her door, as i was tryin to plead her to remember how far we've come togeda, while holdin her hands, unxpectedly, she turned around n pushed me n i fell to d ground like a baby, ''SMH'' hurtin my arms in d process, afterwhich i allowed her to go for her show wit whoeva. After sometime minutes of her departure , she sent an apology text but i did nt bother to reply.
Thirdyly, we were togeda at my place, d toaster called her fone, n she asked him to drive down to my area, went out to meet wit him, i followed her to where d guy was, n asked her there n then to choose between me n d guy who she wanted to follow, n shockinly, she chosed d guy, n i left n went into my apartment. That was how d relationship ended.
BUT after some months, she came bak begin me to accept her bak dat it was d devil's hand work. But as usual, i calmly
told her, it was too late to apologise.

I dey craze
Masturbation don finish
This kind tin dey pain eh I dey vex,,,

Idowuogbo: Dat na gluttoness...

Lmfaoooo! She b Tarzan?

He should speak to his feet shaparly

Nosyke: He should speak to his feet shaparly

With immediate effect my bruda!

dabrake: It was on my birthday when I received a phone call from my girl to breeze in campus which I did. As I got to campus, we walked straight into a hall, were watching a movie, . . . Of recent, my departmental president was beginning to cling to her but I would always turn a blind eye. So on that day while we were watching a movie, she just, all of a sudden, screamed "chei!! presido must have finished his project defense oh. Let's go and watch him". Initially, I refused but she later convinced me in which I followed her up. I happened to be a very popular guy in campus and I've gat that high rep in my department as ogbuefi so while we mere climbing the stairs, my colleagues were packed in one corner checking their released result(s) as school had just resumed . . . as we reached the first floor, she saw my departmental president, screamed "presido!!!", ran towards him, jumped on him and kissed him while all my colleagues(senior, junior and level) watched in a boolean eye movement(from her to me) because they all knew I was dating her . . . presido lamented her refusal to watch his defense and she promised to make it up to him that night. Meanwhile, I don swallow spittle tire everybody dey watch. . .
Fast forward, about a week later, I was swaggering towards the department when I noticed everyone staring at me and I was like "wetin I do again? I wear back of shirt? I wear 'rice and beans' shoe? my kokoro dey show? . . ." As soon as I reached my department, the first thing I noticed was my picture, her pix and that of my president on our notice board. She was the newly crowned queen and our editorial board was interviewing her. During the interview, she was asked and I quote this "Sometime last week, eye witness(es) watched you run into the arms of the departmental president and you also locked a kiss with him with your supposed boyfriend(me) watching. . ." and she cuts "Nsikan and I weren't dating". madam, end am there nah, she no gree. Then she added "we were close because he would always help me with my assignments. You know how difficult calculus, programming, statistics, kirchhoff's rule and others were now? Whenever I call on him to help me with my assignments, he would never disappoint me . . . " . . . Worse still, it took the DOI donkey years to update our notice board. I need not tell you how that semester went on
And my name changed from ogbuefi to assignment boyfriend.



I've tried so hard to summarize it. It was actually longer than that

Im laughing so hard right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Bukizo: I'll start with mine...


This was some years ago around December as schools were breaking for xmas. I’d already made up my mind not to go home for xmas as i had tons of work catch up on b4 jan exams.
So i bumped into this guy who happened to be an acquaintance. We exchanged greetings and he asked me to go out with him saying that he needed company and that he wasn’t going home for the holidays either.
I was reluctant at first being that I work late most nights, i knew i would be too tired for any outing but he managed to convince me.
So, this guy came n picked me with a cab and as a got in, i realised he had a friend with him who was already tipsy. Got to a bar/club, his friend was denied entrance because he had trainers on and most clubs don’t allow in guys wearing trainers so we ended up going to a small bar that didn’t have strict dress code...
This guy spent the whole night talking about and praising himself on his achievements. Meanwhile, it was his tipsy friend that bought the drinks he had that night. I had a drink, which i paid for.
Cut the long story short, it was time to go home...and because it was pretty late and with all the other clubbers tryin to get home too, taxis were scarce. This guy told me not to worry, that he had everything under control, i believed him. 20mins outside in the cold and still no cab and to make matters worse, it started raining. I was tired, drenched and cold...bad combo!
I had to take matters into my own hands and found us a cab. By that time, his tipsy friend had gone off with a random girl so it was just him and i on the ride home.
I got off at my house expecting him to just wave me goodbye and continue with the taxi home but he got off as well. I asked him why he got off and he said he lives nearby that he would walk. At this point i expected him to settle the cab man let him be on his way...he then said to me that he doesn’t have any cash. I suggested he get back in the cab to find a cash point nearby to get some cash and he said he didn’t have his wallet either
I was too frustrated and irritated to even say anything to him other than “just go”. I had to settle the cab driver

datz it hmm

Seems guymen are having all the bad experiences here. Later them ladies would start complaining when they created the problem(awakening the monster within) in the first place

I had an experience back when I left school and I meet a very pretty girl who was just secured an apartment with her female friend and her younger brother very close to where I stay. We got talking and she asked me where I was working and I lied to her that I work with a company as an office boy and she told me that she is a nurse not knowing that I work with a bank. I had to hide where I work from her to know if she loves me as she said. I helped her to get some items for her when she requested, like stove and carpet. We started our relationship and some of my friends knew about her.
On one of these days, a friend of mine visited me from school and we went to her house to see her, I discovered that a Naval officer came to pick her out.When she saw us, she walked passed us and entered the man's car and they left.
2 weeks later, I was blessed with one of the best Honda car. Her friend saw me getting groceries from a supermarket and went home to tell her. The fool came to my place and wanted me at all cost. She later discovered that I work with a bank.
I took her out with her friend and a friend of mine. When we got to a club, she wanted some drinks and food and I asked her to inform the waiter herself and get for herself and friend the best and to make the order by herself of which she did.
While everyone was busy dancing and she was eating with her friend, enjoying themselves, I informed my guy to discharge to the car and he did. I left the girl and her friend with the unsettled bill and discharged from the club with an excuse that I wanted to ease myself. I switched off my phones.

later next day when I came back from work, she came calling to ask me what happened and I told her that she should meet her Naval friend to pay her bills as she told me that they were arrested by the club as they had no money and that it was a man that helped pay their bill totaling 27,800k

Billyonaire: More.....am waiting...

Where is yours?

xhero: I just finished youth service, still hustlin to get a gud job and she wz d best tin dat cud eva happen to a guy...supportive,luvin, carin and independent! She alwayz like to pay for our movie tickets and wen she realized dat it wz begining to upset me, she wud first go to the cinemas, buy the tickets b4 comin to my house so i wudnt av a choice. She luved takin care of the bills and dats y i cud always freely spend everytin i had on her...God rest her soul...she passed away last year november and i'v bin broken eva since..they don't come like dat any more.

She died happily!
U r certified!
May she continue to RIP.

Mthewww