all4zionlover:
I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

You're wrong, people are not the same. They are not you, you are not them. Not everyone shows gratitude

Tallesty1:
You're not sure of anything.

The reason some fathers are abandoned in old age is because they married incredibly manipulative women

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

me: waiting for 14 Feb, to present my wife of 60 yrs living together without money, a beautiful ❤️ 🌹🌹.

Kobojunkie:
Did his own children tell you this or are you an outsider pretending to have knowledge of what goes on in another's home?

2. What makes you think the oppression was only directed outwards without spilling over on the inside to cause a rift between him and maybe his kids at least?

I was once a victim of their shenanigans.

Davidave:


Narcissistic people have good skills to Bleep everyone and then act like victims.

If your entire family abandons you, you probably have been the biggest asshole to them.

Everyone has an opinion and understanding of the issue affecting others until they find themselves in the same spot without being able to pinpoint what they did to deserve it.
My advice for you, no matter how fair you think you are to your wife and kids, keep some resources to yourself to get you through old age so that you don't find out the hard way.

I see so many ignorant posts here blaming monogamy for this occurrence. I am 100% realist and I don't like to deceive myself or deceive anyone.

I come from a royal family where my uncle was the King. My uncle was rich and believed that polygamy was the way to go. He married 17wives, the eldest wife was at least 40+yrs older than the youngest wife, all 17wives had children but my uncle died without a single family close to him, he resorted to sleeping with random widows and girls in the village before he altogether lost interest in women. He visited my dad in Lagos and my mother knelt to serve him food, he said he can't remember when last he was treated with such respect from any of his wives or children.

Severally he had gone to bed hungry because nobody bothered to cook for him. Why did 17 women and over 40 children abandon a king? His character.
In his younger days, he saw himself as a small god because he had single handedly destroyed the shrine of an evil and feared deity and banished the spirit. So people felt he was beyond mortals plus being a royal...

He treated people like lesser beings including his wives and children. As the children of the older wives found bearing, they'll leave and take their mothers away. When many had left, some younger ones even ran away saying that only them can't stand his trouble. He got tired of marrying and he regretted in his old age.

It's your attitude that will make your own blood turn against you. Among those children, there are redpill men so I don't believe it's all their mother's fault.

flourishing247:
I was once a victim of their shenanigans.

Ok. But you are still an outsider as far as how the man interacted behind close doors with his family. Even evil men who build good relationship at home enjoy the company of his family in old age.

Connected1:
Any male child who joins hands with his mother to abandon his father is a fool and he will surely suffer the consequences later in life.

Women are emotional beings and as a man you have to be logical and make reasonable decisions.

My mother always hinted that I move only her and leave my father that he has been miserable all his life, giving several useless reasons, but alas both of them are in the new house.

I do think men should give money to their wives in front of their children, the one you give in the room, she usually claims it as hers, she may not be a bad mother or wife but that's how they are wired, once you let your guard down at old age they use it against you.

A friend of mine allowed his father die last month out of hunger, I really pity him because he's foolish and has been brainwashed by his mother, I usually give his old man money when I am around but when I came to town from a week travel, I was told he died and hunger was the cause 😥.

Unless my Father tried to kill my mother sometime ago, I don't see another reason why I won't help him, we all make mistakes and women do many mistakes too but cover it with emotional manipulations so you see them as victims or saints.

Some Foolish men think too high of their mothers and they assume they are always right instead of using their brains.

Kobojunkie:
Ok. But you are still an outsider as far as how the man interacted behind close doors with his family. Even evil men who build good relationship at home enjoy their company in old age.

I don't say things I'm not sure of. There's a limit to pretence. I have known them for years. There's also a limit to what I can post here. All I'm saying is that when men marry e vi.l women, they suffer most when they are old. Do I really have pity for them? No! They are reaping what they both planted. They don't have peace of mind. Madam is waiting for oga to quench so she can balance and chop turkey everyday.

Ariketolu:
THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle

Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!

In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!

The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.

Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!

It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!

Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?

What Shall Men Do?

In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!

Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.

Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!

Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!

This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!

Caleb Arogundade

Great contribution. Thank you

Amumaigwe:


You forget that women age faster than men and are more susceptible to infirmities. Hope it will also be okay if the man abandons his wife in her hour of needs over bottled grouse he has against her. Only foolish husbands enter vengeful women's trap set at their old age. I now can only love my family as myself. Not more.

Na so

Connected1:
Any male child who joins hands with his mother to abandon his father is a fool and he will surely suffer the consequences later in life.

Women are emotional beings and as a man you have to be logical and make reasonable decisions.

My mother always hinted that I move only her and leave my father that he has been miserable all his life, giving several useless reasons, but alas both of them are in the new house.

I do think men should give money to their wives in front of their children, the one you give in the room, she usually claims it as hers, she may not be a bad mother or wife but that's how they are wired, once you let your guard down at old age they use it against you.

A friend of mine allowed his father die last month out of hunger, I really pity him because he's foolish and has been brainwashed by his mother, I usually give his old man money when I am around but when I came to town from a week travel, I was told he died and hunger was the cause 😥.

Unless my Father tried to kill my mother sometime ago, I don't see another reason why I won't help him, we all make mistakes and women do many mistakes too but cover it with emotional manipulations so you see them as victims or saints.

Some Foolish men think too high of their mothers and they assume they are always right instead of using their brains.

I wish you can come and talk sense to some senseless children that I know. Your comment is so apt.

Kobojunkie:
Ok. But you are still an outsider as far as how the man interacted behind close doors with his family. Even evil men who build good relationship at home enjoy their company in old age.

Human beings are unpredictable. Know that and know peace.

maasoap:
Human beings are unpredictable. Know that and know peace.

That's more of a myth than truth as behavior scientists will tell you that there is a pattern behind almost everything we do. You can predict, with a high probability of success too, what a person can or cannot do by carefully monitoring that person's behavior. Humans aren't as unpredictable as you think!

I will speak from experience, it's probably how the men acted in their prime. You cannot be bad to your wife and irresponsible to your kids and you expect them to care for you when you are old.
My dad is currently sick,so sick that he can't do anything without help,sick old people can be very stubborn, whenever my mom gets angry at my dad,she will just tell me
"Your dad was a wonderful man when he was healthy,I didn't lack anything nor did my family lack anything",I can't abandon him now that he's sick.
Even my me and my siblings,no matter what my father does to annoy us,we don't shout because we know it was brought upon by sickness and if not he wouldn't be that way. My brother every 2 or 3 days,will call my dad and ask him specifically what he wants,he will send the money to my mom,my mom will use it and prepare that same thing for my dad.

Men treat your families right,be there for them,you will enjoy your old age and children's wealth.

This is why as a man u need to be ready as a man so when u started raising children have time for them always be in the picture,be their best friend,play ur responsibly right to them within ur rich,they will not forget u even if their mother want to become a devil later

flourishing247:
I don't say things I'm not sure of. There's a limit to pretence. I have known them for years. There's also a limit to what I can post here. All I'm saying is that when men marry e vi.l women, they suffer most when they are old. Do I really have pity for them? No! They are reaping what they both planted. They don't have peace of mind. Madam is waiting for oga to quench so she can balance and chop turkey everyday.

Evil women? You just went on about how the man was evil to you. Now it is the woman that is evil instead? LOL... please stop!

It's poverty. Most wealthy men hardly separate at old age. And possibly the man gbola is dead too. I always advise, men don't marry a lady that is far younger than you.

For children (not just a child) to abandoned their dad, he must have been a terrible dad. No two way about that. If none of his children deems it necessary to assist him, I am sure he must have failed in his role as a father and only bears the name father because he was their biologically father.

As for the wife, it could be either way. Maybe she was an ungrateful selfish wife or he was a prick during their marriage.

The main issue is that wife subconsciously turns the children against the man .
Because a woman is always closer or available to the children, when a couple has a minor disagreement she might make a mistake of always complaining about the husband in front of the children. This happens over the years ,unknown to her that those kids are growing a bad impression about their father .
Women should stop always complaining or nagging about every small disagreement with their spouse near the kids .
Kids might not be talking but they are very observant and can easily pick up negative vibes.

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Because men abandon their wife for young girls and single mothers. So what goes around comes around. They should go and look for the women the spent their youth money on.

grandstar:
ejimatic

If they followed Bible principles when raising their kids and dealing with the wife, things will not generate to such an awful extent.

You reap what you sow.

Parents should be close to their children when they are growing. Fathers should also set examples for their children. Men should also love their wives and be faithful. Wives must also love their husband's and have deep respect for him.

I came from a polygamous home. My dad liked women. However, he ensured all his kids were close.

He was also very generous to people and many of his children developed that same quality

He wasn't abandoned when he was old.

When he was in his 80s with dementia, our first born brought him to London for a 2 months visit. I accompanied with my half sister. We came back 2 days before the British lock down that commenced on the 23rd of March or we would have been stuck there. Covid isn't safe for the elderly.

My dad is gone now. Though he did not leave a will, there are no fights amongst us.

A touching story! What a good family!

muniralmaigida:
If the man in question didn't train his kids in school and try to make them successful. He shouldn't expect anything from them. Even dogs don't forget who catered for them . This days most women are there for the kids, while the men go whoring endlessly !

This is great!

GOD bless you and Mr. Caleb Arogundade for this wonderful piece.

This is the best template, full of wisdom that most men especially from this part of the world should use as a map to happily ever after days.

For taking time to post this, I say another GOD bless you. You may or may not know this but you have subconsciously woken what men always want to avoid which is, how life will be when we grow old.

Ariketolu:
THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle

Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!

In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!

The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.

Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!

It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!

Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?

What Shall Men Do?

In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!

Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.

Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!

Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!

This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!

Caleb Arogundade

Kamsi04:
I will speak from experience, it's probably how the men acted in their prime. You cannot be bad to your wife and irresponsible to your kids and you expect them to care for you when you are old.
My dad is currently sick,so sick that he can't do anything without help,sick old people can be very stubborn, whenever my mom gets angry at my dad,she will just tell me
"Your dad was a wonderful man when he was healthy,I didn't lack anything nor did my family lack anything",I can't abandon him now that he's sick.
Even my me and my siblings,no matter what my father does to annoy us,we don't shout because we know it was brought upon by sickness and if not he wouldn't be that way. My brother every 2 or 3 days,will call my dad and ask him specifically what he wants,he will send the money to my mom,my mom will use it and prepare that same thing for my dad.

Men treat your families right,be there for them,you will enjoy your old age and children's wealth.

Women who have healthy relationships with their husbands from the earlier years of their marriage, tend to be too attached to their husbands even in old age.

There is a family, who have been our neighbours for over 30 years and the man is battling with poor health though he is still able to move about, unassisted. Their daughter based in Denmark wanted the woman (her mum) to come over for omugwo last year November to return in February but mama said she can't leave her husband behind despite their last 2 children who are graduates still live with them in their family house.

The daughter had to file visa for mom and dad, they went just before Christmas as mama was jokingly saying that if her husband was hands on with the 7 children they had, that a baby won't put Papa off. 🤣

It is good seeing them on Facebook, wearing their winter jackets and gloves, visiting many places in Denmark and both looking fresher within weeks.😄😄😄

LadyRosa:


Easier said than done.
No matter the kind of money it won't solve loneliness in old age when family ain't around. Many of them pensionable old men are around my estate,some are retired into duplexes with their driver, dogs and dusty rooms.

They pay exorbitant prices for sex, they rarely enjoy.
They pay for for companionship, because no girl will stay that long with an old man.

One retired officer tried it, married a kaduna girl who packed and ran away with a young boy she met few blocks away in their street.

They don't know how to spend the money they made na...What happens to adventures, traveling to see the world?..Well me am used to loneliness Sha..I was an only child and do stuff alone..have little or no friends..If you make money travel round the world..No be Nigerian girls alone dey this world

2 men in my area have been abandoned. One is an Igbo Man, I was giving one his son money and foodstuffs to feed him, and personally give him money. He passed away last week. The children accused him of lavishing his money on young women and told them not to care for him at old age. Any child who doesn't take care of their fathers at old age is cursed already regardless. The other a Benin man, I don't give him money because one Americana is responsible for his upkeep and I just fix his faulty gas cylinder when firewoood injured him, he has a farm adjacent my house, he's too hard working but loves trouble. He told my pastor sister that he didn't take care of his children and thst he was a chronic womaniser.He loves women till now. I over heard him while in my poultry that he's not responsible for the troubles of his children and thst he's their father. One of them apparently sent him money in Christmas.


Regardless, don't abandon your parents at old age even if they're witches and wizards. Even if you have the anointing of Elijah, they have authority over you till they're dead, just a single word from your father can cast darkness in your life forever except God intervenes.

I am almost the youngest of my mum children but I pay attention to her, had to relocate to leave in same compound with her. I set up house item for her and fix her boiled hole with the money I wanted to use in fixing my car and setting up my wife. My siblings promised to reimburse me but it's over ,5months dey have left speaking about it. God sparing my life will do more. I am not moved by emotion though I didn't grow up with her.

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Men should get ready for old age. I had uncles who died this way but when you hear how the took care of their families sending them on vacations abroad when the money was there you will start to wonder. If you invest for your old age the tendency that they would abandon you will reduce.

LadyRosa:


Easier said than done.
No matter the kind of money it won't solve loneliness in old age when family ain't around. Many of them pensionable old men are around my estate,some are retired into duplexes with their driver, dogs and dusty rooms.

They pay exorbitant prices for sex, they rarely enjoy.
They pay for for companionship, because no girl will stay that long with an old man.

One retired officer tried it, married a kaduna girl who packed and ran away with a young boy she met few blocks away in their street.

Big lie. Very big one! All the stories you mentioned are made up and never happened. A 90year old rich man will find any companion he wants.

okomile:
If my husband falls down, I will not lift him up nor render any assistance.
Why?

When I was working, I was virtually d breadwinner, he then was amassing university degrees and associations.

Now, I don't have a job, I have turned to torn in his flesh.

Am patiently waiting to take my pounds of flesh

You go wait tire! You’re a toxic wife and there’s nothing you can do to that man.

I don read comments sotey my head don full.😳

ChybuzzDD:


Unreasonable response.

reasonable response