I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

You can always adopt if truly you love her

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

@admin, kindly push to front page for more advise.

Live ya life..

Warning!

No follow woman go her church…

LikeAking:


Live ya life..

What do you mean ?

CoronaVirusPro:
You can always adopt if truly you love her

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

beekind:

What do you mean ?

Do whatever u like..


The best for you..

Put ya self first..

I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now,

Since the relationship is still young and new please sit her down and have a lengthy discussion about the underlying health challenges your only brother is having, are you willing to fall into so too?
Sometimes we fall into a deep blue sea by only admiring it's beauty and color not minding what next.
They say if you see your brothers beard is on fire, you the next should use water before it's reached your turn
If only there's an aparatus or a device that can detect accident or deaths, I think some dead tolls might be reversed or control, you're privileged to see and hear about a pedigree or predicament then why can't you avert it.
Please think before conclusion and don't let emotions or ignorant have hold on you but if you to be with her and managed the issues on ground then good luck to you.

A broken relationship is far better than broken marriage. Use your number 6.

Because she has PCOS doesn't mean she won't be able to conceive. It just may be more difficult. PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of infertility. Most women with PCOS will eventually be able to carry and complete a pregnancy although some will need some medical help ranging from interventions like weight loss, ovulation induction meds, other meds, etc. It's good you already have a diagnosis now, that way, you're able to start working on it as soon as you marry, that's if you decide to proceed with the wedding. She's still in her 20s so age is on your side. I suggest you read up more about it to make an informed decision. At the end of the day sha, na your choice.

beekind:
■ She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.
I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.
The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?
I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.
My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

What is so confusing about the fact that your priority is fertility and not love. Nothing wrong with having such a priority. It becomes a problem of wickedness however when you try to get others to bend your way without a guarantee from you.

According to you, she is a virgin but you already perceive that she may have trouble producing children due to health issues she has been having. Why not take that as a red flag and leave her to go find yourself a woman who is fully fertile? Why are you considering taking away her virginity to test what you already doubt knowing fully well you will not commit to her if it turns out you were right all along?

See her free abeg so she can go find herself a man who loves her and has her as his priority abeg!

SIXTEENTH:
■ Since the relationship is still young and new please sit her down and have a lengthy discussion about the underlying health challenges your only brother is having, are you willing to fall into so too?
Sometimes we fall into a deep blue sea by only admiring it's beauty and color not minding what next. They say if you see your brothers beard is on fire, you the next should use water before it's reached your turn
If only there's an aparatus or a device that can detect accident or deaths, I think some dead tolls might be reversed or control, you're privileged to see and hear about a pedigree or predicament then why can't you avert it.
Please think before conclusion and don't let emotions or ignorant have hold on you but if you to be with her and managed the issues on ground then good luck to you.

Sit her down to tell her what exactly? Did she cause herself to have health issues? Abeg, tell the boy to move on as this is obviously a red flag 🚩 for him in his relationships.

beekind:
■ I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

Please set the girl free and go find yourself the fertility goddess you need instead.

She is still 27 so before her youth leaves her, set her free. Let her find her own love who will have her as priority above everything else. Stop holding her hostage in a relationship which you already know ain't going to go anywhere for her.

There's nothing God cannot do, you both should believe that God will do his miracle.

Never marry out of pity.
Leave her now.
She will only weep for a night, recover and adjust, but marry her and weep forever in anguish.

Lovemeharder:
There's nothing God cannot do, you both should believe that God will do his miracle.

All those one's wey full una churches, your god done finish giving them miracles even after so many years?

She get fertility problem but you no fit comot eye from her virginity. I thought it was promiscuity that makes a woman infertile. Comot eye from that girl and let her marry someone who loves her. Else, If you deflower her with the aim of dumping her because of failure to get pregnant before marriage, you will never see those children you want to have from another woman. Some of you don't understand life sha.

Lorazepam:
Because she has PCOS doesn't mean she won't be able to conceive. It just may be more difficult. PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of infertility. Most women with PCOS will eventually be able to carry and complete a pregnancy although some will need some medical help ranging from interventions like weight loss, ovulation induction meds, other meds, etc. It's good you already have a diagnosis now, that way, you're able to start working on it as soon as you marry, that's if you decide to proceed with the wedding. She's still in her 20s so age is on your side. I suggest you read up more about it to make an informed decision. At the end of the day sha, na your choice.

What you suggested to the op is good theoretically but will lead to pain practically, how you may ask? By the time they are still trying to conceive in their 4th or 5th year in marriage, the little love he feels he has for her now will fly out of the window because he will be filled with regrets and had I know.



In life, if you want to be at the top and to get the best out of life, you must be ready to act selfish in most critical life decisions and also make some sacrifices that many people will hear and say you are not a good person but only you know why you took the actions you took, which are best for you and your life situation at the moment.


OP, sit her down and let her know that you love her and truly wish to marry her but scared of the fertility situation she is in. Suggest two options; you guys try having sex before marriage to see if she would get pregnant or you guys part ways. There is nothing on earth that one cannot let go. Many people do think that without their father or mother or a particular sibling or uncle or aunt that they will never survive, but when that person dies, 20 years later they are still alive and living a life far better than when that person was alive. So nobody is indispensable, and no human should ever think others cannot do without them.



In most families, the fertility issue there is beyond ordinary, some family's fertility issue have a spiritual tone and what activates most of the spiritual side of married couples fertility issue is the paying of bride price and taking of marriage vows to formalize the marriage traditionally and otherwise. Family altars don't recognize pregnancy out of wedlock, they only reign supreme when couples are trying to conceive after traditional marriage rites and wedding vows have been exchanged, so to outsmart them, get your fiance or girlfriend pregnant before marriage.



Virginity to me is not a big deal, most times its lack of opportunity or the lady haven't met a man that melts her heart, and in most cases today, the so called virgins are not real virgins but technical virgins carefully preserving their hymen to deceive a future husband into believing they are exceptional or too good whereas in reality, she has engaged in all manner of sexual acts, from kissing to sucking to necking, to petting to romancing to anal and whatnot. So true virginity is mostly about the purity of heart and soul, not really about the hymen that most virgins of today carefully preserve for wedding night glory.



If you have ever imagined having sex or thought of it, or looked at someone lustfully or engaged in any form of sexual act, according to Bible principles, you are no longer a virgin.

humilitypays:
■ OP, sit her down and let her know that you love and truly wish to marry her but scared of the fertility situation she is in. Suggest two options; you guys try having sex before marriage to see if she would get pregnant or you guys part ways. .

What a bloody heartless suggestion. Would you equally allow your own daughter or even sister to be used as a test dummy for fertility in such a way?

Would you allow your own daughter to be tested in such a way knowing the chances are equally there that the man would simply walk away and leave her with nothing after it all?

Sit her down my arse! Op should leave the relationship, not use the girl to wash his dick's fixation on her virginity before he then abandons her.

Kobojunkie:
What a bloody heartless suggestion. Would you equally allow your own daughter or even sister to be used as a test dummy for fertility in such a way?

Would you allow your own daughter to be tested in such a way knowing the chances are equally there that the man would simply walk away and leave her with nothing after it all?

Sit her down my arse! Op should leave the relationship, not use the girl to wash his dick's fixation on her virginity before he then abandons her.

Life is brutal my brother and only those with strong will gets to the top and live a fulfilled life here on earth, sadly.


And that was why I said he should sit her down and give her two options that they have to choose from. She is not a minor, she is an adult and ought to know what's best for her. If peradventure she doesnt know what's good for her, then that's her cross to carry, she should be ready to manage whatever life throws at her and hope she survives it.


Remember again, life is brutal, only the brave, the strong willed, the smart and those with excellent untampered destiny end up at the top of the ladder of life, others just manage whatever life throw at them, so the choice is yours and mine to make

humilitypays:
■ Life is brutal my brother and only those with strong will gets to the top and live a fulfilled life here on earth, sadly. And that was why I said he should sit her down and give her two options that they have to choose from. She is not a minor, she is an adult and ought to know what's best for her. [b]Remember again, life is brutal, only the brave, the strong willed, the smart and those with excellent untampered destiny end up at the top of the ladder of life, others just manage whatever life throw at them, so the choice is yours and mine to make[/b]

So Life is brutal is the excuse he should use in taking away her virginity in this case?

She is likely going to be devastated and desperate and may want to sleep with him...take the gamble. And so because life is brutal, it would be OK for op to take advantage in that case?

Kobojunkie:
So Life is brutal is the excuse he should use in taking away her virginity in this case?

She is likely going to be devastated and desperate and may want to sleep with him...take the gamble. And so because life is brutal, it would be OK for op to take advantage in that case?

That was why I told you that life is brutal bro. You take it or leave it, how many men married their wives as virgins, and did heaven fall? How many women got deflowered by the man they love? Did heaven fall?


People get heartbroken everyday all over the world, has that stopped the world from existing?


Leaders and governments are ripping off their citizens and nations daily, has the world ended because of that?


Do you know how many people Buhari killed since he joined Nigerian army till he left office as President in 2023, isn't he still alive and living a life far better than that of some people we see as righteous and good? Life doesn't care about how you feel or what you think.



I am not here to preach being good or being bad, I am here to tell you the brutal truth about life that you must follow in order to get the best out of life for yourself first.

Try impregnate her b4 tying the knot

Can I still get pregnant with PCOS?

Having PCOS does not mean you can't get pregnant. PCOS is one of the most common, but treatable, causes of infertility in women. In women with PCOS, the hormonal imbalance interferes with the growth and release of eggs from the ovaries (ovulation).

humilitypays:
That was why I told you that life is brutal bro. You take it or leave it, how many men married their wives as virgins, and did heaven fall? How many women got deflowered by the man they love? Did heaven fall?
People get heartbroken everyday all over the world, has that stopped the world from existing?
Leaders and governments are ripping off their citizens and nations daily, has the world ended because of that?
Do you know how many people Buhari killed since he joined Nigerian army till he left office as President in 2023, isn't he still alive and living a life far better than that of some people we see as righteous and good? Life doesn't care about how you feel or what you think. I am not here to preach being good or being bad, I am here to tell you the brutal truth about life that you must follow in order to get the best out of life for yourself first.

*** yawn***

Oga, love dey disappear o. Look before you leap.

If there’s a “but” then you don’t truly love her.

beekind:
I The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding , besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

You don't mean it 😁

Well, if your love for her is greater than your need to multiply, then marry her by all means.

It's not like we are not already many in Nigeria.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

@admin, kindly push to front page for more advise.

Daniel 11:32 And such as do wickedly against the covenant shall he corrupt by flatteries: but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits.

Kobojunkie:
Sit her down to tell her what exactly? Did she cause herself to have health issues? Abeg, tell the boy to move on as this is obviously a red flag 🚩 for him in his relationships.

Exactly what I'm telling him but it's seems as if the young man is confused so let's him decide

She might concieve faster than you could imagine.

Lorazepam:
Because she has PCOS doesn't mean she won't be able to conceive. It just may be more difficult. PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of infertility. Most women with PCOS will eventually be able to carry and complete a pregnancy although some will need some medical help ranging from interventions like weight loss, ovulation induction meds, other meds, etc. It's good you already have a diagnosis now, that way, you're able to start working on it as soon as you marry, that's if you decide to proceed with the wedding. She's still in her 20s so age is on your side. I suggest you read up more about it to make an informed decision. At the end of the day sha, na your choice.

The bolded is my concern, my only other sibling has been trying to conceive for years now, imagine how devastating it would be if we both are in this same shoe.