Connoisseur: a man that you know is married abi

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]This thread is about someone who slept with a man who she knew was married. I won't be making that mistake. If I'm lied to, then his wife will hear from me. Let her hate me, blame me, or whatever else afterwards. I don't care. Cheating is near abominable to me. I don't take it lightly.[/size]

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]You've grown to be a married man's side piece of bum. There's growing up and then there's reversion. You can fill in the blanks.

I've made my own hard decisions and I'm grateful I did. I'm a better and happier person for it. It wasn't easy, but it was possible. It was doable.

Solving your problem is doable, except for the fact that you don't want to do anything apart from exonerate yourself from any guilt or wrongdoing. You don't want to change. Until you're ready to want a change and actually do that change, you'll be in your conundrum.[/size]

Aleovera:

Thank you for this. I actually have been taking steps to return to my level of spirituality and its really tough. I mean this has never happened to me before, I used to be a strong advocate of no sex before marriage only to fall for this!

MRbrownJAY:

put yourself in his shoes, and ask yourself this question:"if you were in love with someone, and that person dumped you for no apparent reason, would you like to know the exact reason why?" IMHO, you should tell him exactly why you broke up with him, and at least DO RIGHT in this very wrong situation that you put yourself into.but if you cant, then at least just make him understand that he certainly didnt do anything wrong.

DigitalSignal: Oh my left hand!!! You mean for the 4+ years that you've been together he never for once did the doable? Not even for once? And it was a married man, whose wife is giving overdose, that plucked everything!!! Wow, this is not fair!

Aleovera: All the while I thought I was in control and even when I sensed I was slipping, I spoke to him about it and he said he was totally harmless until the harm eventually occurred.

Aleovera: All the while I thought I was in control and even when I sensed I was slipping, I spoke to him about it and he said he was totally harmless until the harm eventually occurred.

Enegod: most girls really do have fish brain...

Mynd_44:
A lot, not most

Aleovera:
Someone (I think signalmind) mentioned that I intend to do right not because I love my boyfriend and that I was influenced by friends amongst other assumptions.

That's another wrong assumption. Cheating actually has nothing to do with falling out of love with ones current partner. I think I was weak and thoughtless. Also, I do not have friends with low maral standards and this is the reason I can't even share my experience with them but chose to come here.

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

Aleovera: A friend said married men are very normal people, it is just that they are married! She said this when I once questioned how a girl would have inappropriate relations with a man, knowing he is married. We often feel we gat it under control and certain things are beneath us but alas...

@ 190: Thank you for dropping a line.

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!

WackyJ1:
When you should have run, you spoke to your predator that you thought he was going to eat you. What did you expect him to say?

Is it wrong to have faith in our ladies?

ogugua88: [size=13pt]What I'm getting from this is that you once believed cheating was wrong, but because you're now a cheat yourself, your perspective has changed? Give me a break.

As far as I'm concerned, cheating is one of the worst forms of disrespect to a partner or spouse, and people who cheat are discontented and highly undisciplined human beings. There is such a thing as self-control. In your case, it's not that you lost control, but that you know what's right and wrong and have chosen to do wrong on more than one occasion. You are giving yourself to another woman's husband. What does marriage even mean to you, if anything at all? I'm assuming you want to get married one day. Isn't marriage a sacred union that people are supposed to hold at high regard? If you're disrespecting and desecrating another woman's union, what makes you think yours should even be average, let alone sweet?

How on earth could you even take a break with your boyfriend? If you loved him at all, you wouldn't even consider leaving him for another woman's husband. You told him you need a break as if you're the one that's being hurt. Add the word "selfish" along with discontented and highly undisciplined please.

You are not just wrong, but double wrong. If you have any ounce of morality left in you, come clean with your boyfriend and let him go. I wonder what he's done to deserve having an adulterer as a girlfriend.

And we wonder why STDs are rampant. Shey na 2013? Smh.[/size]

Aleovera: Hello house,

I have been a consistent guest on this forum and decided to hop on to the next level by becoming a member.. yayy

Okay so, as regards the subject, let me start by giving a brief description of myself or the sort of person I used to be. I used to think of myself as really disciplined, principled and one who would never compromise her values or standards. Also, I used to be so quick to pass judgement. I never could understand why girls dated married men and deluded themselves into thinking they were in love! Not only did I find such circumstances disgustingly annoying but also judged the ladies as silly, stupid, gullible, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish and cruel!

I also had zero tolerance for people who cheat on their partners. I saw them as discontented and highly undisciplined individuals.

However, I have had reason to change my perspectives as a result of some recent happenings in my life!

I cheated on my partner with a married man! I am totally shocked at myself! The crazy part of this is that I think I fell in love with this married man! My boo and I are tight and have been together for well over 4years and I always thought I could never be attracted to any other man. I have tried to put an end to this craziness because it just ain't worth it but its so hard.

The purpose of this thread is to:
1) Let you all who think so highly of yourself to be careful lest you fall. Never say never! Never think you are too disciplined or smart or principled to fall for certain temptations. Those who know me will never believe me if I tell them I fell for adultery (I can't even believe myself)

2)Seek counsel from people who have gone through this kind of stuff. You had an affair you knew you had to get out of but just couldn't, how did you deal with it.

What I have been doing lately is praying and deliberately not contacting this married dude. (I still find myself thinking about him)I also told my boo I needed a break!

Please let's discuss maturely as I believe there are so many people going through this kinda stuff but cant share with anyone because of the fear of condemnation and peoples hypocritical and self righteous attitude!