Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,152,816 members, 7,817,367 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 May 2024 at 11:09 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities (46059 Views)
Are Women Becoming Sexually Boring ? / How Secure/happy Are Men When Their Women Are Assets Rather Than Liabilities.. / My Nigerian Friend Says That African Women In Europe Are Liabilities (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) ... (13) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by MAJOLAUTOS: 11:50pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Misogynist2014(m): 11:56pm On Oct 28, 2014 |
Missy89:The word opportunity as you have used is synonymous to empowerment. Are women not ashamed of asking for empowerment? Only someone who is weak and oppressed asks for empowerment. I think people should stop blaiming society, marriage has to do more about instinct than society. 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Wilson125(m): 12:00am On Oct 29, 2014 |
IfyAwazie: u correct |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Misogynist2014(m): 12:03am On Oct 29, 2014 |
MissMeiya:Sweet dreams..... |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 12:15am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Missy89: Am curious how you concluded that from my post I never mention anything about marriage, I limited my question to opportunities to women. and not marriage. so if i get this right , you want them to be a liability? am confused about this post 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Missy89(f): 12:25am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Misogynist2014: You are actually making my point for me. Because of the type of society we live in. Women are politically weak and have very few leverages. Things don't necessarily come to any group because they try. You need political will to get what you want especially in places like Nigeria where ideology doesn't matter and it is all about power politics. If you think people get empowered because they work hard you are living in a fantasy world. Power dictates the haves and the have nots and in almost every society, the Men always have the advantage and in places like Nigeria that is even more conservative, Women have very few options and it is all about survival. That doesn't mean there are no successful women but many factors have to be considered when you look at the way they get to the top (Family background, association, etc) But the disparity between both genders in African societies would remain if there are weak institutions protecting the rights of one of them and there is no re orientation 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Missy89(f): 12:26am On Oct 29, 2014 |
pcguru1: You talked about marital molest and i used that to construct the argument. But lets say thats not what you meant. Are you saying both genders have the same advantages when the union goes burst? @ shymexx. i sent you a very interesting rebuttal but unfortunately they wont let me post on that thread anymore and what i posted wasnt visible Are the mods dead? 2 Likes |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by hensben(m): 12:26am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Ilovenigeria:so been a good assistant to ur partner finacially is suffering according to u huh..btw I nor dey suffer sha but man needs a sensible n industrious wife n not liability as op said |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 12:45am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Missy89: I was refering to Marital R.ape, there are some laws that don't support women,like this one, it feels a married woman can't be raped by her husband. Only place i know women don't enjoy freedom are mostly Muslim nations. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by slimmingcare(f): 12:51am On Oct 29, 2014 |
What type of asset would you be? Don't forget that asset has a life span at which it would be disposed.Which means your husband can get rid of you after many years of marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by caesaraba(m): 12:52am On Oct 29, 2014 |
ekemini007: Don't get me wrong, dating only women who earn a living is entirely different from dating a woman because she earns a living. One is setting a standard while the other is plain old parasitism like the women you described above do. There'so something about people who earn a living knowing the worth of things and hence valuing them. They also know the importance of planning....etc etc...do I need to bore you with details again. I'm not saying all of the women in this category are prizes, but I'm darn sure we are most likely to find a higher number of those with above qualities in this group as opposed to the other group. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by PreciousBro: 1:16am On Oct 29, 2014 |
The problem with Nigerian girls is the "Sense of entitlement" "sense of expectation" mentality, period! Its a disease that black parents installed and failed to cure/remove in the female mind. I keep saying it,its safe to generalise that Nigerian girls are indeed too vain and materialistic, the trade by barter mind-set is ridiculously infiltrated in their cerebral which is nothing short of myopic. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 1:25am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Gorgeous58: Ur ideal is nice,but i don't knw whom u making this suggestions for,whether itz for our current Nigeria women dat are too lazy 2 d bone u xpect to bow down & hustle... |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Phillyglobetrot: 1:57am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Gorgeous58: You are a rare breed of woman. Now if more women had that mentality (black women), we could run this sh*yt. Instead of adding to the divorce rate. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by ocheu(f): 2:01am On Oct 29, 2014 |
HARDDON:very easy to say, most times in Nigeria of today the hard working ladies are the ones looking drawn and haggard as a result of over working especially here in Lagos. Waken up early and sleeping late with the stress of hold up and others. have you asked why we have lots of barren women among us today? One is as a result of hormonal disorder, and one of the things that causes that is stress. Women are not meant to over work themselves, women are supposed to be helpers, encouragers and supporters to men. Even some men talking are the ones patronizing the lazy ladies, flexing and getting admirers here and there. Though i love when a woman is industrious because is going be an added advantage to her if God now blesses her with a successful man. Very good for a woman to be supportive and productive but some guys as well take advantage of that and start lazing about, and before you know it the woman takes over your position and then rides you. This is a two way thing, some guys don't like their wife working and over stressed, while some do. Oto |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by oseiwe(m): 2:24am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Gorgeous58:All the ones I see / have seen would kill you. There are a few girls out there who hustle hard to ease our stress. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by vicchi12(f): 2:34am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Shut up! I'm not interested in becoming your liability, nor "asset". Instead, I'll make you a slave to my love, heart n soul. I don't belong to you! I'm not a "thing" to be acquired. 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 2:38am On Oct 29, 2014 |
This OP is in the spirit O. Can you believe the only reason I logged into NL today was to create a thread titled "7 reasons not to date a jobless female"? For the lazy women, this is confirmation that this is a message from God to you. You have nothing to bring to matters, yet you also want the most expensive wedding that can be mustered so the man can at least feel like the thing is an investment and not a frivolous expense. If you don't take heed, please don't start harrassing my dear heavenly father when you start pushing 40 and yet never marry. She who has ears let her hear. EDIT: This is it https://www.nairaland.com/1971580/7-reasons-why-should-stop#27539391 |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by ocheu(f): 2:39am On Oct 29, 2014 |
kamez:fantastic, maybe she's looking for a husband and feels posting this will help trap one. I wonder if the women in the market, banks and other organizations are men or probably ghosts. Women are even competing with men this days even in businesses. Please do i have supporters here 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 2:47am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Missy89: You need to stop committing the same crime as most of these folks by looking at Africa as a single entity. Africa is the most diverse continent on the planet. There have been matriarchal societies in Africa from time immemorial e.g. Ashantis/Akans, Nubians, Bamenda, Imazighen, Kung San, Serer, Ovambo, Bissagos, etc.. Even with the Yorubas and Dahomeys, to an extent. The story is just always about painting Africa as a dark continent before the arrival of the Europeans - who brought civilisation (perhaps due to Polygyny) - when that wasn't even the case. Women had more rights in Africa way before they had any rights in Europe - apart from Greece, which is in the Mediterranean. Also, in today's world, females and males start on the same platform, attend the same schools, and compete with one another from Nursery to University level - on equal footing, with no advantage whatsoever for males. However, while most males are planning to achieve something great in their respective careers, women tend to focus on marriage, and other irrelevant distractions. Basically because they innately believe in just being an appendage to their partners. So, are you going to blame guys for that, or the females for not getting their priorities right? Like I told a next chic in the family section a few days ago that: having a career and being a wife isn't as difficult as most folks make it to be, especially when you have a plan, and can get your priorities right. The fields in which most women are into have one or two professional certifications - to earn everything they need there. And if they're serious/focused, without distractions, they should be able to achieve that by age 25. And perhaps start thinking about settling down afterwards. That's how you become an asset, and create a competitive space for your spouse because you'll definitely bring something to the table. And with that, you'll also earn his respect and inspire him. You lot just need to stop blaming everyone but yourselves. Look at the (wo)man in the mirror. Stop trying to be pseudo-celebrities by copying reality TV stars and their fraudulent lifestyles, and get your priorities right. Women and men have the same privileges. And I'd wager that the society is also increasingly becoming anti-men, to be honest. That's why I'm glad the UK is about to pass a law that will divide parental leave between husbands and wives equally, and also increase paternity leave with pay. 5 Likes |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by santoshkumar143: 3:00am On Oct 29, 2014 |
It's nice to come on your website. This is really helpful as well as interesting information here. Thanks for sharing this content through your portal. You are truly awesome. <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Help </a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Online </a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Online Help</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Products</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Services</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Money</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Tricks</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google News</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Mail</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Tools</a> <a href="http://googleonlinehelp.com/" target="_blank">Google Sites</a> |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by londoner: 3:10am On Oct 29, 2014 |
OP, you are right, and there are many women that actually carry the family, even when the man is not down and out, or his business is not failing. I think people are far too obsessed with what women 'should be doing', but not really informing men, on how to really be companions and partners in struggle for their wives etc. Its usually the man that leaves when the chips are down, or rather leaves his "ride or die" woman when he finally gets to his "destination". How many mn, simply replace a wife tat seems barren? How many betray that dedicated wife, once a younger model shows them attention? How many in the village are found in the farm alongside their wives children rather than drinking palm wine? The African women has long carried the burdens of hardship alongside her husband even with the baby strapped to her back. I think it is rather the men that need talking to, on how to be more than just a person that helps pay the bills. To be a "ride or die man" for their wives and households. It is usually the man and not the woman that just quits the home when things get tough, many do it multiple times. That includes to the very type of woman you describe. I'm getting tires of this "women do and be yet more", while the same is not said to the men. Any person, man or women should be an asset to themselves, before even thinking about setting up a home with someone anyway. Every human being wants a partner that is there through thick and thin, sickness and heath, it's not just the need of a man, but women too. 11 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 3:11am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Women has always been assets since time immemorial,even the house wives among them. If you know the emotional stability a wife provides, then you won't talk about liability, whether she's a stay at home wife or not. Just don't be lazy, simple. 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Ilovenigeria(f): 3:11am On Oct 29, 2014 |
hensben:Forget all the gra gra, until that time comes, you may never know a hard working wife. Some will be forming industrious because them still dey single once you marry them, them go just park bus. 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Ilovenigeria(f): 3:15am On Oct 29, 2014 |
sauceny:Ooooh shut up!!!! 1 Like |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Missy89(f): 3:23am On Oct 29, 2014 |
SirShymex: SHUT UP. Smh! As usual, you are mixing up the point. Now i am beginning to wonder if you do this on purpose. It is not about Painting Africa black. While there might be few exceptions, Africa is overwhelmingly a patriarchal society. You can name few tribes but that does not change the fact this this is true. "When you say women tend to focus on marriage while guys face their career" That is not very factual. Like i pointed out, this is not entirely the fault of the woman. That is what the society expects of her. and i also pointed out that this mentality will change if we have an overwhelming reorientation and encourage and support women that have outstanding careers and support them. I will give you a quick example. Look at the RITA DOMINIC thread and see what most guys (and some girls) were saying there. They were more concerned that she is single and not married and totally ignored her relative success in her chosen career. This is one of the reasons why most women are relaxed. I already explained why women and men DO NOT have the same privileges already. this has nothing to do with the educational system but post education. If this isn't addressed, There will always be high proportion of women depending on their spouse instead of working and making a good career for themselves. It is clear that our society respects married women more than professional ones. Now there is nothing wrong with a woman working and supporting her household as long as she can manage her time. My initial reaction was to the men "thanking" the OP for her post without looking at the fundamental problems that should be given serious consideration when it comes to this issue. Some of them were happy about the post not because they really want their spouse to compete or work just like they do and be an "asset". Most of them only acknowledged the post because they have "FAILED" to live up to their own expectations and their spouse is leaning on them. (my observation) 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 3:24am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by zboyd: 3:27am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Gorgeous58: My take? It depends on the family dynamics. Some men, like my hubby and the men in my family never look toward their wives to financially support the family. The wives work if they want to - not because they have to. If hard times hit, then it's the husbands that do the hustling - not the wives. Looking toward their wives' purses is an insult and conveys the message that they, the husbands, can't support the family. This is why my hubby fit in so well into my family, even though he's Nigerian. He took his responsibility as a husband and father VERY seriously. Our biggest fight came about when his entire department was eliminated, due to budget cuts. I wanted to help out the household financially. So I suggested he file for unemployment benefits, until he found another job and I would take up the slack. What was I thinking?! That man BLEW UP!!! He accused me of not having any faith in him, asked me if I thought him a small boy in need of pampering, propping up and rescuing and told me that if I wanted a sorry azz nig-ger who couldn't take care of his own family, then go and find one. He was sooo pizzed off, he started ranting and raving in his language, which I couldn't even understand. WHOA NELLY!!! To say I was shocked by his reaction is an understatement. I thought it best to take the kids to my parents, so he could cool down. I never thought that such a gentle, loving man could go off like that! When I talked to my Dad about it, surprisingly, he sided with my hubby. Dad said that I had seriously wounded his pride and to never, ever tread on his territory again, as head of household, stay in my place as wife and mother and go back home. Okay...so I did. Hubby sulked for a couple of days but he came around. But I admit, I should have known better, growing up around the men I did. It took him almost 8 months to land a new position but that man hustled his azz off to bring money into the house, without complaint and, I kept my mouth shut. Result: PEACE!!! 2 Likes |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by MrHighSea: 3:30am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Mama nkechi, wakeup, wake up (u no wan go work 2day). She says 'r u bak frm ur own'. Junior bangs on the master b'room 'daddy im runnin late, school bus in 45mins'. Everybody goes out, gossiping goes out, fight goes out, laziness goes out... name your own. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Ilovenigeria(f): 3:32am On Oct 29, 2014 |
sauceny:Amu robber. |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Nobody: 3:34am On Oct 29, 2014 |
Ilovenigeria: U a f**king re-tarded b****d |
Re: Women; Becoming Assets Rather Than Liabilities by Ilovenigeria(f): 3:34am On Oct 29, 2014 |
zboyd:Can I borrow him for some years? |
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) ... (13) (Reply)
“If You Wear A Pant Throughout The Day, You’ve Got Problems” - Twitter Lady / 31 Problems Of Good Looking People / Lady Narrates Her Horrible First-date Experience With A Stingy Guy
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 112 |