samflexxy:
He's no ready to settle down then look for some one to settle down with he might be a play boy you know

Just like that

FavourGee:


Hahahahaha! my dear na idole soap #250. You dey suspect am ni

Glory to God. I use that too

there are some discussion meant for 5:30AM on Saturday. meaning that you did not sleep and it is very important.
Also both of you are not working on Saturday, you have the chance to reflect on the discussion through out the day and next.

Wake him up and have a heart to heart discussion. what he says that morning will determine your next move. I know we don't like being disturbed at that wee hour of the morning but give it a go. good-luck

Follow your heart dear,the heart never lies,take it to God in prayers.wish u success

This is the result of dating without an aim. Be frank and straightforward from the start. Are we in this to play around or have a goal which is marriage..

If it were well defined from the start I doubt you would have such issues and no one would be feeling pressurised at the moment.. If that was sorted out you would have a realistic time by now for settling down and Working towards that goal would have been much easier.

That your bf loves you isn't a guarantee that he would want to make you his wife...and don't be decieved by the marriage proposals, men now use marriage proposals to decieve ladies just to get what they want and when they're done you'll be dumped. + marriage is not something you rush into if u don't wanna rush out of it. So relax....you don't have to dump your bf because u wanna get married to someone else...whether or not ur current relationship works out the way u expect, you will still get married, more suitors will come.... definitely! So don't rush. But be sure ur bf isn't just using you cos he might be wasting your precious time and effort

OP tell us your age then I give you good advice.

Babymama1:


Sounds like you are ready for marriage
Let me be frank with you,Women have a window of opportunity to get their best pick
You better open your eyes now and pick one serious suitor now they are all around seeking your hand.
If you let this moment slip by,it may not come again and marriage will become a prayer point
Leave that small boy alone
The woman he will marry may still be in SS1
Don't waste your time

How old are you btw?

Chai, Men don suffer for this thread!

Yours is a joke, what about me that rightly told a girl that i have some1 in my life and she doesn't want to let go? But to your post. If he love you and you believe he will not forsake you at last, I'll advice you don't let him go. You know him already but other ones who are asking you for marriage you may not know them so well as your your present date.

valdes00:
OP is desperate, I understand her worries. In a few yrs tym, she wnt b in form again n by den BF will be eyeing a better chic.... BF is nt ready nw, u dnt nid 2 force him.....sinx u r desperate, jus go 4 any of d 5 suitors --- dats ur best bet 4 nw

Desperate ko, desperate ni.
As a guy I can tell you that guys know when they have found the one and they will not only run to the aisle with her but fly as well.

The truth which am the only guy bold enough to tell you is that he is still weighing his options to know if you are one.

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

This is the kind of story that I want to read here. Okay, you love him which is very important but unfortunately he's not ready yet, so why wait when your time diminishes? Just tell him your concern and get married fast. Do not wait. I repeat, do not wait!

[size=16pt]Any man that comes straight with marriage proposals without dating you in this present dispensation is funny. You will be making a mistake accepting such. At worst break up with your boyfriend date you favourite suitor, don't have s.ex though. After few months you can marry. Marriage is not as easy as mere proposals. He can even get tired of you during the engagement, but ur boyfriend actually knows you and is still with you....... Those suitors just can't accept loosing you dats all, it not love, its competition! !!!![/size]

aisha2:


I cooked heaven, hell and earth for one, learned all his village dishes lol, at the end of the day he married one babe who doesn't cook hired a cook for her.
Like you said sisters dont listen, what I thank God for till today was I never got into that main chick side chick rubbish. Na that one dey scatter my head, the mumu level is too much, two or more of you will be dragging one pen- is and sisters will be consoling themselves that they are main chicks. Even if you fight the rest off and marry him it will never stop then you will create different monikers on nairaland and be repeating the same issue.. Worse is they turn bitter and attack those who attempt to post that they have a good marriage and call them fake and liars.

One was ready to marry but wanted me to accept cheating as a man thing, his argument was every man does it bla bla bla, I no gree oh, he wanted me to be content with the fact that he " chose" me. I left, he was still begging till I got married even pretended to change but I saw through him. A man with a mindset like that hardly changes, it was up to me to decide without fear what I wanted. My dear fear is what keeps most sisters in prison. " if i leave this one will i get anything better" my friend taught me that i should never sell myself short leaving or staying should be dependent on what nakes me happy and not fear.

As a divorved woman she had more toasters than me because of her carriage and remarried while I was still busy forming acting " patient wife' in the making" na there my eye open. Na how you place your wares them go value am buy and if you yourself dont value it no one else would

In order words.. na how goat stand for market, them dey price am.

Now lemme tell u this about men.

I know of a friends brother who has been dating but never marrying. He tells me all about the girls he has and you know what he says... he talks about all the reasons he hasn't bothered thinking of marriage with them. Their too many flaws ranging from being a bad cook, to dirty, to be a football betting freak. Truth is in my heart i know this guy is not just ready. All these things may be real bad with a lady but a man should really be able to at least put a leash on a lady's excesses and put a ring on it. We all have our own flaws


Many men are only gonna concentrate on wat u can't do to evaluate u b4 marriage but u hv to spot the judgmental ones and pack your bags as quick as possible. A guy who's not gonna marry u yet is judging u by some lofty personal requirements and if you keep hoping on hope.. sorry is your case

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

Coogar did raise some valid points.!ut for how long do you wish to hold for him. How are you certain that he intended marriage from the onset? Much as you love him you need to be realistic.you are wasting your time if the love you have and desire to settle down is not reciprocal.

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him.ask him to be sincere with you if he intends settling down. Be diplomatic, wise and matured in ur choice of words as we don't want him roping you round

Be ready to walk out.what you feel is good for you is not what God has planned.

Your husband might or might not be amongst those 5 men but when he comes he will clean off any pain you had with ur ex and you will wonder what u ever saw in ur ex.

Don't use your hand to shut the doors of revelations that God opened for you

madridfc:

Bitter truth.

lol. My bros. You sef don reach here? This topic hot no b small.

It's very easy to know a commited guy.

1. How he relates with your family. Does he speak with your mum or dad?

2. How he relates with your siblings... And your family generally

3. When he makes plans, does he share them with you?

My Dear. remember that as a woman, we are like the flowers dat are beautiful in the morning n at night they fed away. age is not on any womans side especially when we click 25 upwards. from your story, he never mention marriage to u, he is not even thinking of it. perharps, must a man have heaven n earth b4 he get married, women are always d light in her huusbands home, who knows if he marrys u now, favours will come to him since u guys av been togther for a year. to me that guy doesnt love u and u may not even b his dream wife. one of ur suitors may be ur MR Right, dont want this opportunity because its come just once. dont cry had i known. a man of 40yrs can stil marry a girl of 24 but a woman of 40 done fed ooooo. bcare n beware. good luck.

chrisbaba1:
[size=16pt]Any man that comes straight with marriage proposals without dating you in this present dispensation is funny. You will be making a mistake accepting such. At worst break up with your boyfriend date you favourite suitor, don't have s.ex though. After few months you can marry. Marriage is not as easy as mere proposals. He can even get tired of you during the engagement, but ur boyfriend actually knows you and is still with you....... Those suitors just can't accept loosing you dats all, it not love, its competition! !!!![/size]

Relationship is totally different from marriage. Would you marry her when she loses the chance?

Lovethlovesmike:
OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away.

Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heart" says stay, but my "senses" wants to leave.

my dear, dnt joke with your senses, follow it

FavourGee:
Thanks to everyone that contributed I appreciate.
I will have to use my senses this time, I will choose from one of the suitors.

I no sabi shout!

I wish you well dear, just pray about it so you wont regret your decision also. the thing there is, the situation your bf has found himself and you both is simply cos of the fear of the future, I am a guy and I know what that means, marriage to us simply mean more than the wedding and engagement. I am not saying u should stay and waste your time o, but just be sure that your decision you wont regret, most pple advising you here might be embittered peeps who have been through trash from some guys, that doesn't mean your guy is also trash. you are grown up so you know what you want.

Classicalmusic:
Relationship is totally different from marriage. Would you marry her when she loses the chance?

Thats y I said she should date one at least.

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

In my little understanding when it comes to romance/dating, a guy will only propose to a girl when he has dated her for a period of time or knew her before... My question is this, "Did you double or triple date"?. For you to have 5 different suitors at once

5 suitors trying to marry a girl they barely knows?...smh!
This is the reason why some men marries women that will start comparing them to their ex boyfriends..

And why is nigerian women the most desperate for marriage?

@OP,I believe dude is still observing u o. And Hope u r not bleeping any of d so-called suitors cos some girls do dat hoping it wud seal a deal wit a suitor. My advise,be patient n show more love n commitment cos love is important o,money will come n go. My 2cents

Just follow that lil voice in ur head

So this is all our miss NL can offer? She should date other guys while with him? Smh. Pls give me back my vote(the one I casted for u during the competition). I want to make use of it now.

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys.

this is a very useless advice!!!

So she should start hooking up with every guys in the name of trying to get married?...by the time the reality dawns on her,every guys musta known her as the cheapest target to get used and dumped

2sExy1:
lol. My bros. You sef don reach here? This topic hot no b small.

It's very easy to know a commited guy.

1. How he relates with your family. Does he speak with your mum or dad?

2. How he relates with your siblings... And your family generally

3. When he makes plans, does he share them with you?

Hmm, all these ones na wash o 2sexy. All these doesn't make a man a 'husband' material.
I seriously support the user that said "a lady that hopes to get married shouldn't be in a relationship for more than 6months" to avoid stories that touch.
The bad part be say people like us no get hope be dat LOL
Bottom line: Don't date Your age mates.

amunkita:
Nope.. I was not ready buh I had 2 keep aside som fund cous I noticed she was advised 2 kip a back up nd wen i found out I had 2 do dat.
She knows I luv her buh wanted that commitment which my financial state wuld not allow mii cous its crazy proposin nd she kipz wearing dat ring as if nah she act "Lords of the ring"
Wat am gettin @ is dat d dude might b broke irrespective he works.

You gave her the ring to keep in her box? If she didn't wear it you'll surely complain.

Am in the same situation as you are, am ready to marry her but first of all i want to save out some money that she may start something after marriage. But she disturb more than the witch can concerning marrying her and i understand her because it is their way.

chronique:
So this is all our miss NL can offer? She should date other guys while with him? Smh. Pls give me back my vote(the one I casted for u during the competition). I want to make use of it now.

I even wanted to say the same thing but thank GOD I never voted her..