jaybee3:
Are you trying to force his hands by having 5 suitors?

Is this some sort of competition or what as i just can't understand why you had be entertaining other men to the extent that they had be upgraded to suitors whilst being in a serious relationship.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in having an ambition to marry at a certain age, so please break up with your present bf if he isn't up to the task already instead of playing russian roulette with matters of the heart

I understand your point, but in OP's defense (because I'm in a similar situation), there are more serious guys out there willing to commit and have already made their intentions to settle down, known to me from the get-go without my "entertainment". Maybe that's why she refers to them as "suitors". Thing is, it's not easy to jump from one relationship to the other especially when you're already in a drama-free relationship with a great deal of understanding. My own issue is that he's slow as a snail!! I keep dropping men out of my life when I'm not even sure where this relationship may end up.

OP, sorry I took over your thread, somewhat.

Ucheosefoh:
It is not about jumping to any offer from her suitors, how long did she know any of the suitors,
How is she sure some of them are ready for marriage and not playing the marriage card game ( I have witness such)
Op are you willing to marry a man you knows little about his personality or did you plan to date after leaving your boyfriend.
Marriage is a life commitment which you have to be sure who you are committing with to avoid future threads like I left a good guy to marry a beast.

this too

Lovethlovesmike:


I understand your point, but in OP's defense (because I'm in a similar situation), there are more serious guys out there willing to commit and have already made their intentions to settle down, known to me from the get-go without my "entertainment". Maybe that's why she refers to them as "suitors". Thing is, it's not easy to jump from one relationship to the other especially when you're already in a drama-free relationship with a great deal of understanding. My own issue is that he's slow as a snail!! I keep dropping men out of my life when I'm not even sure where this relationship may end up.

OP, sorry I took over your thread, somewhat.

Do you have some sort of commitment wanted banner attached to your sexy cheeks or how else do these serious guys know you aren't already in a committed relationship?
What exactly does commitment mean to you, is it until he gives you that ring that makes him commited?

So he is a slow snail compared to the other men you dropped out of your life. Do you realise you create more emotional problems for yourself when you start introducing comparative analysis spirit into your relationship?

You don't need me to tell you to move on If your ambition is to get married and he isn't down with that

hmmmm I've learnt a lot this morning , say no to time wasters

EfemenaXY:


Good girl.

Thanks!

jaybee3:

Do you have some sort of commitment wanted banner attached to your sexy cheeks or how else do these serious guys know you aren't already in a committed relationship?
What exactly does commitment mean to you, is it until he gives you that ring that makes him commited?

So he is a slow snail compared to the other men you dropped out of your life. Do you realise you create more emotional problems for yourself when you start introducing comparative analysis spirit into your relationship?

You don't need me to tell you to move on If your ambition is to get married and he isn't down with that

Answers:
Question 1: At a certain age and with certain accomplishments, most men will expect marriage next on your to-do list. Which is, in my case. God has blessed me with everything else.
2. How do they know? Hello ... I'm not ugly and I've never posted any guys pics on social media. They ask and I simply tell them that I'm seeing someone else.
3. Simply put, my understanding of commitment is personal dedication and some sort of assurance (which may fail) by words or actions that I'm in his long-term plans.

On comparative analysis, I can't help it. You're right about that.

Ucheosefoh:
It is not about jumping to any offer from her suitors, how long did she know any of the suitors,
How is she sure some of them are ready for marriage and not playing the marriage card game ( I have witness such)
Op are you willing to marry a man you knows little about his personality or did you plan to date after leaving your boyfriend.
Marriage is a life commitment which you have to be sure who you are committing with to avoid future threads like I left a good guy to marry a beast.

I doubt they came out of the blue, saw her and immediately said, "let's get married".

Fact is, she is ready to get married, and so are they. Most importantly, they already have a common ground. It's not like she's getting married tomorrow to any of them. She obviously will study them and date the one who she feels is her best match for her husband requirements. The bottomline here is that when a man is ready to settle down with the right woman, he'll make make his intentions loud and clear. With regards to her present boyfriend, it's unfair on her for him to make her hope & wait - probably in vain. Likewise, it's unfair on him for her to "force" him to walk down the aisle with her when he's no where ready to do so.

Lovethlovesmike:


Answers:
Question 1: At a certain age and with certain accomplishments, most men will expect marriage next on your to-do list. Which is, in my case.
2. How do they know? Hello ... I'm not ugly and I've never posted any guys pics on social media. They ask and I simply tell them that I'm seeing someone else.
3. Simply put, my understanding of commitment is personal dedication and some sort of assurance (which may fail) by words or actions that I'm in his long-term plans.

Do you think it's right to work in tandem with goals set by the society when it isn't really what you want?

Of course you aren't ugly but i would expect any serious guy to hit you up with i want to marry you chat up line and expect you to take them serious.

I like your personal definition of commitment. So is he dedicated to you cos if he is then that's about the best assurance you can ever wish for as a woman.
However, if he isn't then i should be asking you why you are simply wasting your time

Wow! I'm overwhelmed you guys are simply GREAT!
I learnt alot @ aisha2, EfemenaXY, jaybee, lovethlovesmike,cococandy etc..I don't even know who to quote again.

You cant make someone do things until they are ready.
State your concerns to him and move on if you want to.

threatening him with suitors can only back fire.
He is not ready. You can wait for him if you both really want to work things out or jump unto the other suitors.

I hope you court the other ones first before jumping into marriage.
This one you don dey give ultimatum

Chillisauce:
You cant make someone do things until they are ready.
State your concerns to him and move on if you want to.

threatening him with suitors can only back fire.
He is not ready. You can wait for him if you both really want to work things out or jump unto the other suitors.

I hope you court the other ones first before jumping into marriage.
This one you don dey give ultimatum

I no dey give anyone ultimatum, If you have ever experienced this you will understand what I'm saying. What will you do when you want to work things out and your partner doesn't?

EfemenaXY:


I doubt they came out of the blue, saw her and immediately said, "let's get married".

Fact is, she is ready to get married, and so are they. Most importantly, they already have a common ground. It's not like she's getting married tomorrow to any of them. She obviously will study them and date the one who she feels is her best match for her husband requirements. The bottomline here is that when a man is ready to settle down with the right woman, he'll make make his intentions loud and clear. With regards to her present boyfriend, it's unfair on her for him to make her hope & wait - probably in vain. Likewise, it's unfair on him for her to "force" him to walk down the aisle with her when he's no where ready to do so.

You have a point but don't rule out the fact that some of the suitors maybe playing the marriage card game to get her. I have witness such and men do that irrespective of their age, they will come as serious suitors only to use and dump the girl later but I don't wish her such. I understand the time wasting factor but she need to be careful, it is better not to marry than to marry a beast and since she wants to give her boyfriend one more year, who knows he may have a surprise package for her.
Somebody like me will not give her any hint of proposing until I surprise her with proposal without her notice.
The bottomline is she should be careful

FavourGee:


I no dey give anyone ultimatum, If you have ever experienced this you will understand what I'm saying. What will you do when you want to work things out and your partner doesn't?

I experienced the opposite. He gave one to me that many girls where after him, and i knew i wasn't ready so i walked.
He was trying to work things out but i knew i wasnt gonna move, so i left.
Truth remains if i had succumb to the pressure i would be forever miserable because that was not what i want. I might become the ever nagging woman.
What am i trying to say, if you have approached him and you see he is not ready, let him go.

You might want to stick around to see but be sure to carry whatever that comes out from it.


You sound like one that knows what she wants, listen to your inner voice. Meditate and think about this and make the right choice. No one knows you better than you.

Ucheosefoh:
You have a point but don't rule out the fact that some of the suitors maybe playing the marriage card game to get her. I have witness such and men do that irrespective of their age, they will come as serious suitors only to use and dump the girl later but I don't wish her such. I understand the time wasting factor but she need to be careful, it is better not to marry than to marry a beast and since she wants to give her boyfriend one more year, who knows he may have a surprise package for her.
Somebody like me will not give her any hint of proposing until I surprise her with proposal without her notice.
The bottomline is she should be careful

I think you should credit her with some common sense. She isn't an impressionable teenager going out on a first date, nor is she some starry-eyed girl in her early twenties that believes everything she's told (especially from a guy).

Yes, she will be careful and will be studying whoever it is she decides to go out with - and that really is the whole point of the dating game...to thoroughly assess potential suitors.

Her intuition or 6th sense will be finely tuned. I don't know how to explain it but sometimes, as a woman, you just know if a guy is serious or not.

FavourGee:
Thanks to everyone that contributed I appreciate.
I will have to use my senses this time, I will choose from one of the suitors.
I no sabi shout!

Disclaimer oh, I didn't advice that you should just jump.in and marry one of your suitors oh just because you want to marry. Take your time know what you want and if any of these suitors have those qualities.
Marriage is not tinini tanana

aisha2:


Disclaimer oh, I didn't advice that you should just jump.in and marry one of your suitors oh just because you want to marry. Take your time know what you want and if any of these suitors have those qualities.
Marriage is not tinini tanana

Ok I hear you. I am not a baby

Now I see d fwendz my beauriful Nuvie met b4 trying her luck else where which have not paid.

Her boyfriend is planning to use her for ritual soon, so why worry

Ask him to define the relationship so he won't end up wasting your time.

Chilling . . .

Marriage always a difficult institution.

FavourGee:


Thanks but I tried making him give me definite answer, he began to talk as if I'm lying and pressurizing him to get married to me.

Ur age is a big determining factor here.
But if I were u,since ur boyfy isn't givin a definite answer even when he knows u have other suitors,he isn't bortheree,my dear,d guy isn't ready for commitment

U better grab one of the suitors wey make sense oh,love will grow eventually,since u like love alot

Elesta:


Ur age is a big determining factor here.
But if I were u,since ur boyfy isn't givin a definite answer even when he knows u have other suitors,he isn't bortheree,my dear,d guy isn't ready for commitment

U better grab one of the suitors wey make sense oh,love will grow eventually,since u like love alot

He isn't borthered,I meant to type

MzNelly:
Five suitors?!!
When some women out there will DIE for just ONE?

Come, what exactly is the problem again?

Before you count five know that am behind those five.
the correct figure is now five and a half.

Seeing all these...I just feeling like getting married

Lady wat does ur conscience tell u to do. Ignore n u will b doomed.

Try to consider ur feelings for him, if it's so strong then go to any length with him u won't regret it, sometimes we do things wrong while trying to be fast and smart.

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

let me just advice you. if Im skeptical about a girl, il just tell her that she is young and if she is ready to marry she can carry on.just because I'm not so into her.

if he truelly loves you and have future plans for you , he will act faster than the five.

so move on.no worry you go try fall in love again. #winks#

coogar:


what if he's broke?
some guys genuinely want to take the leap but they have no funds to carry out their desires thus the wait......

guys are not always at fault in this. sometimes, you women often date your agemates thus the disconnect. at 25, most nigerian women are ripe for marriage. 90% of nigerian men aren't ready to marry at 25 cos they are still struggling.

Bitter truth.

FavourGee:


Thanks but I tried making him give me definite answer, he began to talk as if I'm lying and pressurizing him to get married to me.

You didn't tell us how long you've been with him. If its up to a year then by all means he should have defined the relationship since from your writeup money isn't the problem.

For the fact he doesn't take you serious and thinks you are lying doesn't speak too well of whatever it is you have with him.

Simply fall love with any of the suitors and give him the wedding IV. I have seen cases where a guy kept a girl for 7 years during which time the girl was telling everyone she's in a relationship.

Now the guy is married and dear sister is in a dilemma how to convince all she's now available since age is no longer on her side.

Truth is relationship is like a gamble,we all have differents stars....

Some girls have waited for their men for years and are today married to them,while some were dumped...

Some girls met the "one" after 6 months to a year of dating.....

My point is,go with your intuition,let your heart,brain speak for you...and do not act out of desperation then you will make the right choice.

OP is desperate, I understand her worries. In a few yrs tym, she wnt b in form again n by den BF will be eyeing a better chic.... BF is nt ready nw, u dnt nid 2 force him.....sinx u r desperate, jus go 4 any of d 5 suitors --- dats ur best bet 4 nw