FavourGee:


I no dey give anyone ultimatum, If you have ever experienced this you will understand what I'm saying. What will you do when you want to work things out and your partner doesn't?

The bolded!!! And how did you know him not ready at that moment means "not working something"? He might be working out Millions. You ladies think its that easy to be the Man? Then after getting married, he couldnt meet up some bills, you'll start looking out!!!

You just wouldnt understand!!!!

chrisbaba1:


Thats y I said she should date one at least.

Okay good but we shouldn't be selfish you know? If I can let out my girlfriend, why can't her current boyfriend do so?

If a man is not yet ready to tie the knot, why keeping the chick?

jaybee3:
Are you trying to force his hands by having 5 suitors?

Is this some sort of competition or what as i just can't understand why you had be entertaining other men to the extent that they had be upgraded to suitors whilst being in a serious relationship.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in having an ambition to marry at a certain age, so please break up with your present bf if he isn't up to the task already instead of playing russian roulette with matters of the heart

.

My brother I was wondering o. She made friends on fb and in church and got cosy with them enough that all want to marry her. Hmmmm......

Do you just meet a strange lady and want to marry her without some water first passing under the bridge?

The story get as e be. Might your boyfriend be sensing that you're continuously on the look-out and therefore doubts your commitment?

We men might be oblivious of many things but we're not blind as a bat as some women think.

It might even benefit both of you if you walk.

bmoses:
My Dear. remember that as a woman, we are like the flowers dat are beautiful in the morning n at night they fed away. age is not on any womans side especially when we click 25 upwards. from your story, he never mention marriage to u, he is not even thinking of it. perharps, must a man have heaven n earth b4 he get married, women are always d light in her huusbands home, who knows if he marrys u now, favours will come to him since u guys av been togther for a year. to me that guy doesnt love u and u may not even b his dream wife. one of ur suitors may be ur MR Right, dont want this opportunity because its come just once. dont cry had i known. a man of 40yrs can stil marry a girl of 24 but a woman of 40 done fed up ooooo bcare n beware. good luck.

true!

In my area, kids i saw when they use to roam in Panties are getting married, some will mock jokingly that "heres a very younger you getting married and ask what you are waiting for" I just let out a smile and move away!!! *million Yimus in my mind*

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Lovethlovesmike:
OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away.

Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heart" says stay, but my "senses" wants to leave.

suxex4ever:

my dear, dnt joke with your senses, follow it

wait oo, are you sure its not because your boyfriend is dark in complexion

chodosky:
Try to consider ur feelings for him, if it's so strong then go to any length with him u won't regret it, sometimes we do things wrong while trying to be fast and smart.

1000 Likes!

"Linda & Shasha are married, i must get married too.." Fingers are not equal.

This thing dem dey call marriage sef,na by force nii?

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

U guyz nid to sit n talk abt it like matured minds.ask him whre d relationship is heading to;marriage or friendship? When is d wedding cmin up? How many children u guyz want? From d discussion u wil knw whre u stand.Moreso be more prayerful abt it.Wish u d best.

Goodquestion:


You gave her the ring to keep in her box? If she didn't wear it you'll surely complain.

Am in the same situation as you are, am ready to marry her but first of all i want to save out some money that she may start something after marriage. But she disturb more than the witch can concerning marrying her and i understand her because it is their way.

Broz wiv d advises I ve seen dis morning frm d ladies I ve decided to let her go oo.
Cous I can't compromise making monii wiv early marriage...

As per nwa afo...

Yea ur queshion: can't u mk it wiv her?
Sure I will mk more then buh e bad say she dey use Range Rover sport carry my kidz go skool.

FavourGee:


Na that wasting of years be my fears my dear o.

I think I will break up with him before I enter another one because I don't know how to double date.

Quite true that you may not know how to double date but definitely know how to triple date! Smh! From your my quick drawing it shows that u been boasting to him about certain things which he certainly finds out to be lies thatz why he dosent just believe u anymore about something that might be serious like this. Have a better view on how u go about with him and u will see the answer within.

FavourGee:


Na that wasting of years be my fears my dear o.

I think I will break up with him before I enter another one because I don't know how to double date.

this is wise

Nigerian women. Always in a hurry to get married but later complain that their husbands are not treating them right or end up having affairs outside the marriage. Op how old are exactly? If you want a long lasting marriage better marry someone you love and can tolerate not because you will soon reach menopause, trust me have seen lots of women like you who wish they had waited.

aisha2:


My dear I wasted donkey years in relationships one from childhood. Another who would scream when you shout commitment, when you ask at the end of the year he will get so worked up and even keep malice lol. Till Debrief dragged me aside a few years back and adviced I stop wasting my time when I see a relationship is not growing, even as a divorcee i saw how easy for her to remarry while I was caught up in the fear of " if I leave this one where I wan start from again" but her boldness and courage motivated me since then bye bye to time wasters.

I met hubby and in a month marriage plans commenced no story no drama. A man knows what he wants. If you waste 6 months or 6 years on a man who doesnt want its your choice. My own is don't turn bitter later because no one tie you by force with any man wey no want

hmmmm,its good to know ladies like u n babymama r still out there,though u took a wrong step @ d onset but u learnt from it n t paid off real good for u,ladies with intellects like u guys should be role models to young naïve minds dat knows virtualy nfn bout life,I do tell ma female friends,nfn stops a lady from getting a man who'l cherish n adore her like a queen,dat @ some point in every ladies life dat real ideal man wud pop out n ts left for em to either choose to stick to him or put him off n go for losers,@op I believe d solution to ur problem's been laid bare for u by this two ladies,I wish u d best.

See, OP...

Just like edwife said... "go with your intuition,let your heart,brain speak for you"

But please, dont hesitate to give us the feedback (Wedding, Honeymoon pictures, etc) and if its the opposite, please still share... You would educate so many more!!!

GoodLuck!!!

aisha2:


You dey laugh me ba, lmao God will handle ya matter for me.

My dear and all my other friends kept saying was " just be patient and keep doing all you are doing".
Meanwhile, Debrief was the only one telling me as it is, I looked at the ones advicing prayer and fasting then looked at Debrief she had walked the talk and earned the relationship she deserved the rest were managing bad behaviour from their spouses I wasn't ready to live like that anymore so I boldly from that day decided if a horse is dead get off it and stop flogging, praying, fasting cooking the horses favorite food in hopes of a resurrection.
Those friends were saying " you will never get a husband oh, is it your late age you want to start being picky". An ex even told his brother that I would probably end up marrying an old widower or as a second wife, no be small thing

Hehehe but when they came to my wedding saw my hot husband and the kind of love we had, how our families celebrated us because we had done an earlier quite wedding, our families no gree took their time and planned a massive one for us. My exes brother was just using us to change DP sotay the brother threatened to delete him from BBM.

Long as short, people who sell you short don't own your life. Your life is in Gods hands and God has given you a free hand to decide what you want regardless of what anyone says

doesn't make your life better than his, so don't sound like you won. The happiness of today can still turn sour tomorrow. Doesn't mean he won't also meet that super woman who might be your role model. Since you're married why not release him from the picture rather paint him a devil who wasted your time

amunkita:


Broz wiv d advises I ve seen dis morning frm d ladies I ve decided to let her go oo.
Cous I can't compromise making monii wiv early marriage...

As per nwa afo...

Some girls are good at giving wrong advises but don't give up on her that will be termed hart break from her side. My own girl is now behaving weird but i will not let go except she chose to.

coogar:


what if he's broke?
some guys genuinely want to take the leap but they have no funds to carry out their desires thus the wait......

guys are not always at fault in this. sometimes, you women often date your agemates thus the disconnect. at 25, most nigerian women are ripe for marriage. 90% of nigerian men aren't ready to marry at 25 cos they are still struggling.

Cooger you're so spot on. As men we can't keep up with our agemates in this marriage business.
May God help my girlfriend and I. We're both 24.

Lovethlovesmike:
OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away.

Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heart" says stay, but my "senses" wants to leave.

Ladies are just unfaithful. You're still chating guys up on facebook and getting closer to church guys and am sure when he ask you'll respond in your usual lies ,we are just friends.

now you feel your life is more fulfilled than his?

Wow... Quite an eye opener, and a whole lot to learn ..

@FavourGee, it's quite glaring that you and your boyfriend aren't on the same pace.. In relationships, we should learn to watch out for its 'Success/Growth/Appreciation or its Failures/Depreciation'..

Also, note that LOVE alone is not enough to build up a home.. Sacrifices, Commitments, Communications, etc are also KEYS that'll stand the test of time in marriages when love begins to wear out..

I consider you lucky, that in your late 20's, you still have 5 suitors trying to get your attention ...

Women are like flowers, and @ a point in time fades aways..

18-22years: The guys starts making advances but Nkechi still wants to flex, and catch her fun to the fullest..

22-24years: Nkechi becomes very choosy.. 'He must be tall, fair, stinking rich'... 'He must be a prince, dark, have abs', etc..

25-27years: No man looks @ Nkechi again, and everyday, she keeps praying for just a 'Hi' 4rm a brother...

27-30's: Nkechi starts soaking her chaplet in water, disturbing God with prayers , and wishing for anyone, whether short or tall, as long as he is ready..

In all, what I am trying to say is: Search your heart... Make a firm decision, and stand by it.. "Love with your HEAD, and carry your HEART along"..


#My candid opinion...

FavourGee:
Thanks to everyone that contributed I appreciate.
I will have to use my senses this time, I will choose from one of the suitors.

I no sabi shout!

While I feel this is a slightly valid decision because nothing is guaranteed. It may as well be a wrong decision you are about to make but how do we know?

So well my ultimate advice is that you should not feel bad or shy to make grave inquiries about the one you finally chose to marry. Before even saying yes, type his name on Google, his phone number too... You can use some other approaches that you are comfortable with so that you wont marry someone you dont know.

My exes brother was just using us to change DP sotay the brother threatened to delete him from BBM
This got me laughing...like the spirit of that ur exes brother

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"

One thing to note from what you've written here is that guys that are still asking you out are already making marriage proposals. Babe, that's 1st class scam in the waiting.

You have to crawl before you walk.

Do you think he has the financial muscle to settle down with you?Has he ever told you to give him time to sort things out?

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

and then any of the other guys find out you are double dating , what will be the outcome , if they perhaps end up , he may still use this to bring up issues and will be here ranting.

chronique:
So this is all our miss NL can offer? She should date other guys while with him? Smh. Pls give me back my vote(the one I casted for u during the competition). I want to make use of it now.

this got me laughing real hard

FavourGee:


Thanks but I tried making him give me definite answer, he began to talk as if I'm lying and pressurizing him to get married to me.

are you so sure the guys promising marriage just dont want to shine congo and move on .... if you are the no premarital sex person , good for you . if you are not , I ll advice you sit and think properly about the decision u wanna make.

op what happeeneeed 2 praayeers?...and mayb d guy ain't ready 2 settle down earily..some guys love ''enjoying life den using marriage 2 retire..u should visit baba..or seven days fasting would do d magic#charitycomment

youmour:
This thing dem dey call marriage sef,na by force nii?

the matter tire me o my brother.....


see as all of them are saying leave him,dont leave him,do this dont do that...na human feeling we dey talk of here o....you leave na,go marry sweet talking suitor,after marriage,the beast in him will appear,.....the fact that someone appeared from no where and married some people here and its working out fine doesnt mean it will be the same for you...use your brain.

coogar:


what if he's broke?
some guys genuinely want to take the leap but they have no funds to carry out their desires thus the wait......

guys are not always at fault in this. sometimes, you women often date your agemates thus the disconnect. at 25, most nigerian women are ripe for marriage. 90% of nigerian men aren't ready to marry at 25 cos they are still struggling.

patience is a rare virtue , only few have it . this lady ought to know if the " boyfriend" is a serious or playboy by now . if he is worth the wait wait , there are other ways to commit a good guy other than marriage

FavourGee:


He's simply not ready and doesn't want to commit.

if he's willing to commit I don't mind giving him one more year.

whats do you mean by commit ... you mean engagement ? thats not a guaranrtee , just saying as I dont know what you mean by commit.