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Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by EfemenaXY: 3:47pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1: Lol! Did the NITEL thing once from school. Memorable day it was because the Okada I was on got chased by a crazy dog from the top of the hill till we reached the bottom. Meanwhile, I was screaming my head off (always had a phobia for dogs) with both legs on the Okada man's shoulders! Yeah, left Naija, met up with hubby then returned back to Naija barely 6 months later to do both the traditional and court weddings before coming back here again. 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 3:47pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
The OP is in her late twenties meaning about 28,29 I guess and has dated this man a year Did she say how old this man is ? |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by yemivictor: 3:47pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Lovethlovesmike: I'm sorry but by getting "close" to the church guy as you've narrated above, did you mean you slept with him? Please i'm not judging you as i'm not better than you are, only want to properly decode your narrative. Thanks. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 3:56pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
The reality about many Nigerian men is that they consider any person above 29 too old for marriage no matter how old they are themselves. So I understand why a girl in her late 20s will be concerned about a non committing man Once a girl gets to 30 ,the average Nigerian man will look away. Let's be sincere with ourselves So a 28,29 year old with 5 serious suitors and a man she has dated a full year who is not shaking body is right to be concerned about what to do.After that age it is not impossible but it becomes tougher. Go to every Church and see women lined up for prayers yet weddings are happening every Saturday. I double as a matchmaker so I know what I am saying Women over 30 usually appeal more to divorcees and widowers and polygamists than unmarried men without baggage. The other group hard to sell are single mothers. A woman is at her peak for marriage in her twenties That is the naked truth Girls who see themselves as too young at that age and want to play and do small runz will wake up and find out time has passed Na dat time dem go enter church begin pray In your early and mid twenties,you don't need any prayers to find a man ,men will be all over you That is the time to prayerfully pick one 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 3:57pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1:I just wanna draw something from it . The OP says she is in her late 20s does it mean she didnt have suitors from her teen age . these are what you should check before you advice her to leave her guy . she may have dated guys that were even way older than her . yet it did not work . people have got different wishes in life , I dont know if you pursued a career before you got married , but I think you did not .your taste is totally different . you may have come from a background that believes in " a suitor is that man that is ready to marry you " but the real suitor means a man that suits you ... that is your taste . if actually the "suitors" are ops taste , she would not come on here to ask for advice I tell you . this is the truth . 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 3:57pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Sleekyshuga:....hmmmm....Bolt pikin is fast becoming a counselor ooooo...wow!!!wisdom is obviously NOT by age 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by EfemenaXY: 4:00pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1: True and that mindset really needs to change. The pressure to get married is ridiculous. So if a lady who knows what she wants doesn't meet the right man before her thirties, then what next? She gets told to "lower her standards and expectations". No wonder many men out there feel they do women a big favour by putting a ring on their fingers. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by EfemenaXY: 4:01pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
majekdom2: Be honest here. Will you seriously consider marrying a lady in her thirties? 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by coache(m): 4:02pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:Not really desperation......its maturity on the lady's part. Ladies have verbal power while men are emotional being. The good part of this is that if she eventually leaves, there will be no regrets whatsoever cos presently now she dnt knw where she's standing.....and this will give her an express ticket on the way forward and thereby saving herself from an unseen disappointment |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:02pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Jamean:if your reason for age is settling down , I hope you have a change of thought . I use my personal experiences as examples most times , but it does not mean it is same for everyone . I use just to correct some notion. I have 2 brothers one is about 40 the other about 35 . they are both single . you can say we were born with the " silver spoon " so money is not even a reason . these dudes have great professions and yes I have seen them with babes 4 to 5 younger than they are different times but have still refused to settle. The basic truth is understanding your partner . thats what matters most . that you go out with someone 10 years older than you are does not mean he will be ready to settle when you are. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:05pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
majekdom2: I have written about myself extensively on nairaland and this is not about me. I have given her my candid advise Give her yours and be done with it 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Sleekyshuga(f): 4:08pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
omojoshy:Lol ... Tnxs sweet rat |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by EfemenaXY: 4:08pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
coache: Is maturity the exclusive preserve of the woman in the relationship? What about the man? Is it too much to expect, for him to act maturely too? You've got me wondering what exactly is / should the man's role be in a serious relationship. coache: Er...last time I checked, men (Nigerian men) don't do emotions. Besides, it's got nothing to do with who's got more verbal "power" or not. This is about a man who isn't keen on settling down, while his partner on the other hand is willing and ready. They're at logger heads and she needs to move on. coache: She doesn't need an express ticket to walk out of a relationship which is heading nowhere. Both players here have got very different priorities. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:12pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
EfemenaXY: You know what efe,any woman that wants to marry will marry I have come to the conclusion long ago that many unmarried girls in their late 30s and into their 40s have a hand in their situation People may not like what I have to say but remember that I say I do some match making so I am speaking from experience. There are some women out there that you will never marry if you were a man I think the longer one stays unmarried ,the more hardened and bitter they become and every man is looked at with suspicion They carry over pain and hurt from other relationships to the new one forgetting that some of the pain came from their staying on in dead end relationships rather than move on quickly One girl wanted to see the man's certificate with her two eyes before believing he was a graduate Another wanted to visit his place of work to make sure he works there That alone can put off a good guy Some sef will complain the man placed his feet on their center table or he was untidy and didn't hang up his shirt or mdropped soup on their table while eating,very stupid things May I go cook yam for Oga I dey come 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:13pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:the truth is people are different seriously . yes , I can marry a lady in her thirties . its about what I want in that lady . I have not had girlfriends more than 3 younger than I am thats the truth as I have not found them motivating , perhaps the people I have met or its just my mindset but thats me . like one great man said on here " men marry virtues , boys marry beauty " .... I believe in virtue over age or beauty .... the beauty guys are the ones these ladies complain about because the truth is they will see another chic who is more beautiful tomorrow. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:21pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
amunkita: Hahaha,you're very right!!! |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 4:22pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1:I never said it was about you but its about your advice and the manner you put it and so I wanted to know why you trying to compare your relationship life to that of the OP. yes I have adviced her too . from experience , it is always best to go with your heart because it always knows what you want for yourself in the first instance.The op's heart is to stay and see things through with her boyfriend , how do I know ? if truly she wishes to be with any of her suitors , I mean if they are her perfect match , she would not have thought twice talk more coming on NL .if you are able to secure a better paying job which matches your career expectation , do you come for advices whether or not to leave your present job . you only come for advices when you are not sure what to expect in the new job. thats human for you , we deal with them daily and you know what this is the truth. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by coache(m): 4:29pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
EfemenaXY:I really understand your point here but truth is, in situations like this, its not about throwing blames but finding solutions. Steps like these are necessary to satisfy the curiosity that might arise later such as; maybe he was planning to propose.That's if she leaves...... or I would have left if I knew he won't propose. That's if she stays back. So I just believe she has nothing to loose by taking the chance. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by kpolli(m): 4:30pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Wait do girls just want to marry or they want to marry a particular person? Because from this post all I see is that she just wants to marry 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by EfemenaXY: 4:43pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
coache: No one's blaming anyone here. She wants to wed. He doesn't. So she should move on and find her happiness elsewhere. coache: What steps? Whose curiosity? "maybe he was planning to propose"? What does that mean? I man ready to settle doesn't keep his partner on hold while trying to decide on how to "plan how to propose". coache: What chance? You mean watch her years roll by while the guy in question dilly-dallies with her? |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by cococandy(f): 4:45pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Amhappy:that was my experience too. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Pholar97(m): 4:51pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
OP thanks for opening this thread. You made my day. I'm so ready for marriage. My bf and I are age-mates and I think that's where the main "disconnect' lies. We love each other and are both working engineers. I have 3 guys on my neck too (2 which I met on FB) and 1 in Church. I got "close" to the one in Church and somehow, my bf could feel the difference in our relationship. He started asking questions like if I'm considering leaving him for someone else that he feels like I'm slipping away. Anyways, I told him everything and how I feel like he's using me to pass time and I need commitment. He's been pleading, buying gifts, etc but I still don't feel any vibe of commitment or seriousness on that level. Although he stepped up tremendously, another time-waster is that his older sister is a pretty 33 year old single. I have no issues with her at all. Now my bf said he won't get married before his sister marries to save her face from shame. So how long will the wait be?? My "heart" says stay, but my "senses" wants to leave. [/quote] |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Ojugunrege(f): 4:59pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1: @ FavourGee.....ur advice here! @Babymama...I salute o...when I grow up...I want to be like u 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Pholar97(m): 5:00pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Let me share my wt u. A lady i intended to marry has a sister wt 5yrs older than her. We court for 5 yrs bt her Dad want her sister to go 1st. & i took my stand, made her see reasons to quit. After 6 month i saw another girl & we are happily maried wt a kid wtout regret. Is gud u take ur decision now, opportunity come but.... 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Ojugunrege(f): 5:02pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
aisha2: @ FavourGee...the advise u seek....here again @ aisha2....weldone o.... 1 Like |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by davide470(m): 5:08pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Jamean: |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Youngpo413: 5:09pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
valdes00:touche! |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 5:14pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
kpolli: There is no particular husband There are tons of men out there with the qualities a woman is looking for Soldier go soldier come 2 Likes |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Ojugunrege(f): 5:15pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
alutacontinua: The point exactly!!! The guy no too dey feel her. He probably thinks he will get someone better; so no commitment so that he can say "but I didn't promise u marriage na"! The funny thing is he may meet a girl he's into today & June 2015 they are Mr & Mrs while @Op is still waiting. It is well. |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by kpolli(m): 5:18pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Babymama1: I like that mentality, valid reason why husbands have girlfriends outside... 2 Likes |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by smudge2079(m): 5:20pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Jamean:lol..it is d truth tho |
Re: I Have Five Suitors And I Let My Boyfriend Know by Nobody: 5:25pm On Dec 06, 2014 |
Ojugunrege:The same way if OP is really into her suitors , she will not be on here asking for advices . cant you guys see this. the ops heart does not go with her suitors |
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