rman:


He already has his house, car and job before you marry him right from under your parents in most cases with nothing. Yes, that is what is in the majority.


Most ladies are deliberately ignoring the age factor that gave men the advantage.

They marry men 5yrs,6yrs, 7yrs sometimes 15yrs older than them. Unless a man lacks ambition, that age difference would probably have given him an advantage from start in the relationship in terms of what each party brought to the table.

bukatyne:


How many men have houses before they get married?

How many have cars

How many ladies marry without having a means of earning?

How many ladies who married without means of earning still stay after marriage without earnings (except hubby requests them to)?

donpeey22:
Why do you make reference to standard Nigerian society only when it suits you?

Have you forgotten that standard Nigerian society also demands that you totally submit to your husband, including handing him your paycheck at the end of the month for him to decide what the money is used for? Would you do that because standard Nigerian society demands that from you?

Let's assume that the child ownership according to the Nigerian society is reversed, and we now 'pronounce' that the woman owns the child, would you be happy if almost all you have worked for in life is taken away from you and given to the man for the upkeep of those children of yours?
I put the word pronounce in quote to emphasize that though the Nigerian society says that the child belongs to the man, in reality it is the women that actually owns and benefit more from the children.
I will use my late dad as an example. While he was alive (may his soul continue to rest in perfect peace), he worked so hard to see us his children through schools. Took all manner of risks, toured from East, West, North and south to ensure that we had good education. Lo and behold, while he was getting old and about to retire to at least start receiving some cups of cold water from his children, death struck and took him away.
Now, my mom is the "mama engineer" , "mama Doc" and "mama everything" with the benefits of regular cash deposits to her bank account and regular change of wardrobe etc.

Note that I am not in any way against my beloved mom, of course she still remains closer to my heart than any other woman on earth, I just had to say all the above to make you see that the man does not actually own the children like the " standard Nigerian society" would want us to believe.

babyosisi:


The cases we have read in America haven't been more than ten
In just one LGA in Nigeria,you can easily find ten cases of men killing their wives or vice versa
There is no killing spree here so let's not blow it out of proportion
I have lived in America for years and it is not at all common
Many bad marriages end in divorce and the people move on,the psychopaths who go ahead and kill are few and far between,there is no epidemic

pickabeau1:
I know a lot of people who had this before marriage

Most ladies leave their jobs to be housewives

Come to the Niger Delta and see women who have built office on top their marriages

bukatyne:


I asked a question which has not been answered and you have concluded that I am referencing standard Nigerian society

If interested, feel free to answer my question

bukatyne:


And I know a number who did not

@bolded: Did they leave voluntarily or their husbands asked them to?

donpeey22:
As far as I am concerned, the belief that children belong to the man is one of the so many erroneous believes held by the Nigerian society.

Children belong to both parents.

moca:
But some ladiies can be brutally mean.
True.
I know a family that their US wife so much dealt with, they became a mockery in d eyes of the peoplee.
Not only did the village gal eyes opeen, she also framed the husband as a drug dealer and he was jailed for yrs.
Cos of one yeye african american boy.

It was yrs later that d man was found innocent and he came home. It was announced in church and we tropped to their house. He looked like Osama bin Laden. So unkept and malnurished.

Meanwhile, wifey has built big and very fine duplex in her papa's house, helped her people a lot while d husband's pple, I can't bring myself to say all that happened to them.
D guy's parents died of heart break.

When it was ascertained that d woman framed her hubby up, our people took over the case and dealt with d lady and her family.
D last I heard about her was that she is no longer in US.
American guy no kuku marry her.
As long as she breathes, she can't come home cos she was excommunicated.

D church, kinsmen and good will ppeople contributed money for d guy and he traveled again to start life afresh but not in US.
Said he had lived all his life outside so will find it heard adapting in naija and seeing his wife's family every now and then can kill him.
So far, he is doing welll. A dr.

So yep, some of we ladies r really very mean.
It runs both ways.

pickabeau1:


Exactly just as sex is suuposed to be pleasurable to both parties not a service to be presented by the woman for money or marriage entrapment

pickabeau1:


Some Of their own volition

Mostly a family decision

These guys work in remote places so someone has to be home

Some of them eventually open businesses

Others do courses and get qualifications

Others settle in well well

donpeey22:
As far as I am concerned, the belief that children belong to the man is one of the so many erroneous believes held by the Nigerian society.

Children belong to both parents.

bukatyne:


The truth is that the natural person wants to eat their cake and have it

A lot of guys say they used and dump a girl when after sleeping with her and ending the relationship

Why didn't the guy think he and the girl enjoyed it?

Why do parents warn that their daughters should street clear of boys and not allowed themselves to be used by boys?

Why are female virgins celebrated when they marry as virgins?

We can't continue to shift grounds when it suits us.

We need to have a collective view towards sex...

bukatyne:



Thank God you said it is mostly a family decision.

If God forbid they divorce and they are to leave with What they brought; What are they leaving with?

rman:


You can not use the exception as the norm.

The norm is girls always want to marry established guys. And that is a fact.

pickabeau1:


Those are traditional marriages
I support traditional means of support

Not empowered working women still leeching off their husbands

The man should support the spouse

pickabeau1:



And what is the thrust of your post
We are saying women think men enjoy sex more yet youre talking of virginity

bukatyne:


I also do not support employed women leeching off their hubbys or requesting for spousal support during divorce

babyosisi:


Your write up is sound but terribly unbalanced
First of all the marriage you describe is one of convenience
The girl was looking for a ticket to the west,the man is looking for a presumed naive and pretty young wife he can mold into an image of his choice including choose her career.
Respect goes both ways
It is not unilateral or it becomes servitude
I tell women all the time that I have absolutely no problems being submissive or being labelled a submissive wife.submission is not a dirty word to me and the reason is because I am married to a man who loves and respects me and treats me like a full grown adult with a thinking faculty,if it were not so,I wouldn't submit to him,period.
You are telling a one sided story and one sided stories are dangerous stories.
Just as much as no man goes to do trado and ask for the hAnd of a woman in marriage with a Plan of killing her somewhere down the road,no woman also goes into marriage with plans of making her marital home a living hell for herself and all the inhabitants.
The sort of acrimony that can lead one into killing their spouse doesn't occur overnight and in these cases there is something each of the party involved could have done differently.

If a man feels he has the right to kill a woman he made to become somebody ,then he is sick and that fundamental mental illness hasn't been addressed by you in your write up
Nobody owns another and nobody has the right to feel that way about a wife or anyone.
Some of these men you are making excuses for ran their homes like military camps and when they said jump the woman needed to say how high.
Do you sincerely want to tell me you haven't heard of men who demanded their wife's paycheck as soon as she received it?
Or those who recorded the odometer nightly and will question her movements when it was off his estimated calculations.
Beaters and batterers plus those who forbade their wives from associating with friends and family?
I know a man that followed his wife around suspecting she was cheating and she would catch him trailing her,so she should keep quiet because he brought her to America?
I know another that planted secret cameras to keep an eye on his young wife while he was at work
There are men with frank mental conditions and personality disorders out there and these men do get married you know,and many times the women realize who they married and bail.Do they now deserve to pay with their lives?

I happen to know a little detail on the first family in the original post
The woman had left and returned numerous times,each time wanting to stay because of their children
She had just returned from burying her father and same day she was murdered by this man
Do you want to know more about the case?
The man was a pharmacist who had tried unsuccessfully to get a license as a pharmacist because he couldn't pass his board exams ,the wife was a registered nurse,he was laying carpets and doing other odd jobs to survive.
Men usually don't do well emotionally when they are underachieving or when their wives are more successful than they.
Earning more gives a man confidence and boosts his manhood
Mr Emeruwa couldn't handle his frustrations and took it out on his wife ,police had come to their residence in burtonsville Maryland numerous times and he eventually murdered her
There was another case in Virginia,similar scenario
The Atlanta case of the man who owned a grocery store years ago,same thing
Infact another Atlanta case the man Mr Akeredolu drove from Houston texas to Atlanta Georgia to murder his ex wife on her 40th birthday after she had divorced him.
That is how psychopathic many of these men can be
Please stop making excuses for killers

pickabeau1:



Good

MAYBE Fhemmmy will learn one or two things from this since he sees you women as helpless appendages who need hubby support all their life

LOL

pickabeau1:



Good

MAYBE Fhemmmy will learn one or two things from this since he sees you women as helpless appendages who need hubby support all their life

LOL

bukatyne:


I also do not support employed women leeching off their hubbys or requesting for spousal support during divorce

AreaFada2:
.

The problem is we look down on our tradition. Luckily enough it's all there for anyone curious enough to know.

It doesn't make him feel dead, it KILLS him. There is a case going on right now. A young man suddenly got seriously ill on returning from visiting his wife in 9ja.

Even the best medical docs in Europe can find no reason for his illness. Meanwhile he's in hospital for months now. I have gone to see him and examined him too. All parameters seem ok. But he can't eat or get up from bed.

The wife, a Christian never believed when her in-laws warned her about her suspicious ways.
She thought she could mess around anyhow, under guise of born again.

Let me tell you how they say it works. It's not magun style.

A woman commits adultery. The man is safe if she doesn't cook for the man or sleep with him. That is, no wifely role towards him. If she does, problem.

Look, I spent over a decade having clinical evidence & empiricism drilled into my head. But there are things we see that confound science. One can believe it or leave it.

carefreewannabe:


I sincerely hope you will learn something from Fhemmmy.

Fhemmmy:

There is NOTHING for Fhemmmy to learn from . . . NOTHING, i have given you scenario and you refused to understand, i am not supporter of laziness

oshaosha2014:
Fhemmmy:


She married you.
Cooks for you
Warm your bed
Made your house
Make your house be a home
Yet, she has not worked?
Bro, i hail you oh

You cant never pay a woman her true worth, never, pay her for carrying your child in her womb for 9 months and disfiguring her own cute body to make YOU a father, pay her for those sleepless nights that she is in pain in that labor room, pay her for those days she burns herself to cook your favorite meal and tell you if you have what it takes to pay her. . . . We as MEN dont have what it takes to pay them, so let us show them love and appreciate them.

You are a proper woman wrappe[/b]r. In addition to all you have said, u shld have let's us know that the said woman also gave birth to the man, she even went a step further to marry his sorry ass.

pickabeau1:



Lol...story





You don't support laziness uee you want a modern woman to be kept even though she is working

Ow Kay

AreaFada2:
.

The problem is we look down on our tradition. Luckily enough it's all there for anyone curious enough to know.

It doesn't make him feel dead, it KILLS him. There is a case going on right now. A young man suddenly got seriously ill on returning from visiting his wife in 9ja.

Even the best medical docs in Europe can find no reason for his illness. Meanwhile he's in hospital for months now. I have gone to see him and examined him too. All parameters seem ok. But he can't eat or get up from bed.

The wife, a Christian never believed when her in-laws warned her about her suspicious ways.
She thought she could mess around anyhow, under guise of born again.

Let me tell you how they say it works. It's not magun style.

A woman commits adultery. The man is safe if she doesn't cook for the man or sleep with him. That is, no wifely role towards him. If she does, problem.

Look, I spent over a decade having clinical evidence & empiricism drilled into my head. But there are things we see that confound science. One can believe it or leave it.

Fhemmmy:


I can see you just want us to stay on that line, but no need to, i have made my point and you made yours, make we leave it at that, if you see the scenario of 100K$ per year and 35K$ per year, analyze it and see where my stand is . . . I never said give without reasons, or she milk you..... Chairman, i beg, lemme go and sell some cars and phones jare . . . .