₦airaland Forum

oliidell:
FocusM, Let's do a SWOT analysis. The objective here is to choose whom to marry.

Peter
Strenght: 2.1 graduate, funny, sociable, honest, average height, great personality, 2 years r/ship
Weakness: drinks, smokes, frugal, not too fine, no definite date.

Paul
Strenght: better pay, generous, caring, christian, fine, definite date.
Weakness: boring, short, 3 months r/ship, not open, not sociable.

Your friend:
Strenght: Attractive, reasonable
Weakness: indecision
Opportunity: she's in a good position to asess them both and make a choice.
Threat: she can lose them both if her game gets out & age is not on her side.

Some home truths:
GF didn't stop seeing peter after meeting paul so she consciously prefers peter and is obviously seeing paul for the money.

She likes peter's swag and company even though he drinks and smokes and just endures paul cos he is finer and more caring.

She dosnt give two fvcks about paul's christianity but feels more secure with him cos he is not demanding and has named a month.

She'll be happier with peter, but he might never become generous and might cheat. Paul on the other hand would be a doting husband but he'll bore her to death. Some things about men don't change.

None of the guys fit her picture of Mr. Right. She wants a tall, handsome, funny, generous dude.

My advice:
GF should strip the two guys of all secondary qualities and ask herself who she genuinely prefers.

Then she should decide what she wants from marriage and what she can and cannot live with.

She is obviously more equally yoked with peter, so I'd rather she sticks with him and try to make him work on his weakness.

2 years over 3 months any day.

Omotayor123:
There are some circumstances my dear.

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because [s] if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second! [/s]

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary
Drinks and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

Vicalloyd:
Guy why are you repeating it?

rahazaqa:
u stole that from somewhere, sorry. no likes for you.

focusM:
She is a cool girl. A christian girl. She doesn't drink or smoke. What do u want to know about her again?

Mhizkel:
There's no circumstances that warrants cheating..You can't love two people @ a time...It's either you love one and you lusting over the other one!

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

mrmax1:
[b][/b]
This is pure wisdom sir....u just spoke to me and not just the thread

Omotayor123:
The circumstances I'm talking abt is not by cheating or Lust But Something u find Yourself between two guys Due to some unusual circumstances.

I ve seen cases like dat. Maybe I will share a scenario later.

NICOGRAVITY:
I will strongly advice that you marry PAUL.
My reasons are thus.
1 a man that doesn't give you money while you are cutting might not give you money to keep the home even after marriage. Men are worst in behavior after marriage as they hide their real person during cut-ship.
2 Smoking and drinking is a catalyst for cancer, you don't want to be a widow very soon.
3 Paul honestly respects your person and integrity by not being interested in jumping into bed with you.
4 Paul has a great integrity as am very sure that he honours God first, by keeping to the covenant of marriage. A man that fears God is a man that will listen to Pastors, elders, your parents etc in case of challenges in marriage , sure challenges will come.
5 I will always ask people to go for genuine Christians as their first choice. Beauty is vain, character is love.
6 Am an average height man married to a very tall lady, but my wife wouldn't stop thanking God for me, as I always take care of her family. A man that doesn't give you money will never give to your parents, neither will he support your siblings. Remember, marriage isn't just sex, sex, sex. Family challenges will come, siblings and friends may need help and little assistance.
7 God desire that you honour Him with your body as it's His temple.

skajove:
[I think its fiction too... imagine peter and paul. Smokes - dont smoke, stingy and not stingy, interesting and boring, hmmmmm..... quote author=Strongfaze post=33295432]This is pure fiction.

focusM:
That's not true. She never wanted to date two guys at the same time but paul was so good to her that she developed feelings for him. She never expected it to turn out this way. Pauls Godliness is very rare and she has always dreamt of having such a man as a husband just that she loves peter more.

Hanibal:
stop that bobo joor... She is only a christian by mouth... a true christian lady will not date a smoker and drinker for two years... a true christian lady would not have had sex 'many' times with someone she is not married to... a true christian lady will not have two boy friends at the same time.... a true christian lady will not be confused about who to marry.
#sweet truths

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

focusM:
She is a cool girl. A christian girl. She doesn't drink or smoke. What do u want to know about her again?

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary
Drinks and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

oliidell:
FocusM, Let's do a SWOT analysis. The objective here is to choose whom to marry.

Peter
Strenght: 2.1 graduate, funny, sociable, honest, average height, great personality, 2 years r/ship
Weakness: drinks, smokes, frugal, not too fine, no definite date.

Paul
Strenght: better pay, generous, caring, christian, fine, definite date.
Weakness: boring, short, 3 months r/ship, not open, not sociable.

Your friend:
Strenght: Attractive, reasonable
Weakness: indecision
Opportunity: she's in a good position to asess them both and make a choice.
Threat: she can lose them both if her game gets out & age is not on her side.

Some home truths:
GF didn't stop seeing peter after meeting paul so she consciously prefers peter and is obviously seeing paul for the money.

She likes peter's swag and company even though he drinks and smokes and just endures paul cos he is finer and more caring.

She dosnt give two fvcks about paul's christianity but feels more secure with him cos he is not demanding and has named a month.

She'll be happier with peter, but he might never become generous and might cheat. Paul on the other hand would be a doting husband but he'll bore her to death. Some things about men don't change.

None of the guys fit her picture of Mr. Right. She wants a tall, handsome, funny, generous dude.

My advice:
GF should strip the two guys of all secondary qualities and ask herself who she genuinely prefers.

Then she should decide what she wants from marriage and what she can and cannot live with.

She is obviously more equally yoked with peter, so I'd rather she sticks with him and try to make him work on his weakness.

2 years over 3 months any day.

ireneidiva:
A 'cool Christian' girl will not double date in the first place.

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

Krasid:
If she loves peter more then i don't see why this topic is even being discussed.You said and i quote, "Peter's drinking, smoking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul".I am guessing your friend didn't find all the qualities he wanted in peter and that is why he started developing feelings for paul.Like Mhizkel said, ''if you are in love with two people, go for the second...Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have accepted the 2nd"

Krasid:
It is so sad that matured people do not know what they want.So you say your friend is a good christian yet is contemplating chosing between a guy that drinks, smokes, has 4ked her several times, and does not support her much financially to a decent guy that does not drink, smoke, is patient enough to wait for sex after marriage despite supporting her financially all because one is fun to be around.It seems common sense is no longer common.BTW, why did she start dating 2 guys at the same time.Maybe she wanted to "explore" like most ladies would say.Anyway let your friend reel out the positives and negatives of both men and see which outmatch's the other.It is already clear who would win anyway.

themodernman:
This is a typical case of a girl wanting to eat her cake & have it...she can if she wants to anyway but she must be prepared to be a cheat in d sense dat she marries Paul, lies to him about her virginity or looks for a way to tighten her below up, den continues the fun with Peter the rude boy! Shikena!

But for those saying Peter loves her: dats a lie...Peter doesn't actually give 2fvcks about her...he's d typical rude boy that doesn't send women...Paul on the other hand loves the girl to a fault which is a huge turn off to women...

I've learnt my lessons in life...I'll rather remain single dan be like Paul!