It is so sad that matured people do not know what they want.So you say your friend is a good christian yet is contemplating chosing between a guy that drinks, smokes, has 4ked her several times, and does not support her much financially to a decent guy that does not drink, smoke, is patient enough to wait for sex after marriage despite supporting her financially all because one is fun to be around.It seems common sense is no longer common.BTW, why did she start dating 2 guys at the same time.Maybe she wanted to "explore" like most ladies would say.Anyway let your friend reel out the positives and negatives of both men and see which outmatch's the other.It is already clear who would win anyway.

oliidell:
FocusM, Let's do a SWOT analysis. The objective here is to choose whom to marry.

Peter
Strenght: 2.1 graduate, funny, sociable, honest, average height, great personality, 2 years r/ship
Weakness: drinks, smokes, frugal, not too fine, no definite date.

Paul
Strenght: better pay, generous, caring, christian, fine, definite date.
Weakness: boring, short, 3 months r/ship, not open, not sociable.

Your friend:
Strenght: Attractive, reasonable
Weakness: indecision
Opportunity: she's in a good position to asess them both and make a choice.
Threat: she can lose them both if her game gets out & age is not on her side.

Some home truths:
GF didn't stop seeing peter after meeting paul so she consciously prefers peter and is obviously seeing paul for the money.

She likes peter's swag and company even though he drinks and smokes and just endures paul cos he is finer and more caring.

She dosnt give two fvcks about paul's christianity but feels more secure with him cos he is not demanding and has named a month.

She'll be happier with peter, but he might never become generous and might cheat. Paul on the other hand would be a doting husband but he'll bore her to death. Some things about men don't change.

None of the guys fit her picture of Mr. Right. She wants a tall, handsome, funny, generous dude.

My advice:
GF should strip the two guys of all secondary qualities and ask herself who she genuinely prefers.

Then she should decide what she wants from marriage and what she can and cannot live with.

She is obviously more equally yoked with peter, so I'd rather she sticks with him and try to make him work on his weakness.

2 years over 3 months any day.

i like your analysis. I totally support Peter. I don't know how she would be comparing a 3month relationship with that of 2years.

Omotayor123:

There are some circumstances my dear.

There's no circumstances that warrants cheating..You can't love two people @ a time...It's either you love one and you lusting over the other one!

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

Or maybe she is a , cheating on a guy you claimed to love .

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because [s] if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second! [/s]

I have seen this line many times on nairaland...

Op, do you know a lady with English name beginning with the letter P or native name beginning with the letter O and is currently traveling today.

Hmmmm, so she really loves the first guy, OK, no wahala then

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary
Drinks and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

Vicalloyd:

Guy why are you repeating it?

Don't be rude to stammerers

rahazaqa:
u stole that from somewhere, sorry. no likes for you.

Yeah! I stole it from my brain..Guess you have to format your brain also..Your like is not needed tho, already gat the ones i needed...Tank you!

I will strongly advice that you marry PAUL.
My reasons are thus.
1 a man that doesn't give you money while you are cutting might not give you money to keep the home even after marriage. Men are worst in behavior after marriage as they hide their real person during cut-ship.
2 Smoking and drinking is a catalyst for cancer, you don't want to be a widow very soon.
3 Paul honestly respects your person and integrity by not being interested in jumping into bed with you.
4 Paul has a great integrity as am very sure that he honours God first, by keeping to the covenant of marriage. A man that fears God is a man that will listen to Pastors, elders, your parents etc in case of challenges in marriage , sure challenges will come.
5 I will always ask people to go for genuine Christians as their first choice. Beauty is vain, character is love.
6 Am an average height man married to a very tall lady, but my wife wouldn't stop thanking God for me, as I always take care of her family. A man that doesn't give you money will never give to your parents, neither will he support your siblings. Remember, marriage isn't just sex, sex, sex. Family challenges will come, siblings and friends may need help and little assistance.
7 God desire that you honour Him with your body as it's His temple.

focusM:


She is a cool girl. A christian girl. She doesn't drink or smoke. What do u want to know about her again?

stop that bobo joor... She is only a christian by mouth... a true christian lady will not date a smoker and drinker for two years... a true christian lady would not have had sex 'many' times with someone she is not married to... a true christian lady will not have two boy friends at the same time.... a true christian lady will not be confused about who to marry.
#sweet truths

smokers, drinkers are liable to die young tho some peeps say their grand papa wey done dey drink since weytin do am? well, she might become a widow early in marriage. Now peter ain't generous too.. a man has to be generous to his family.. her family too. two yrs in relationship and she can't change him is it when she's committed to him for life she's gonna do it?! and wtf says she's a good Christian? good Christians don't f**k any how

Mhizkel:

There's no circumstances that warrants cheating..You can't love two people @ a time...It's either you love one and you lusting over the other one!

The circumstances I'm talking abt is not by cheating or Lust But Something u find Yourself between two guys Due to some unusual circumstances.

I ve seen cases like dat. Maybe I will share a scenario later.

Your friend is a cheat for dating 2 peeps n she deserves neither of them.....

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

[b][/b]

This is pure wisdom sir....u just spoke to me and not just the thread

mrmax1:
[b][/b]
This is pure wisdom sir....u just spoke to me and not just the thread

Thank you! But i'm a lady

This is a typical case of a girl wanting to eat her cake & have it...she can if she wants to anyway but she must be prepared to be a cheat in d sense dat she marries Paul, lies to him about her virginity or looks for a way to tighten her below up, den continues the fun with Peter the rude boy! Shikena!

But for those saying Peter loves her: dats a lie...Peter doesn't actually give 2fvcks about her...he's d typical rude boy that doesn't send women...Paul on the other hand loves the girl to a fault which is a huge turn off to women...

I've learnt my lessons in life...I'll rather remain single dan be like Paul!

Omotayor123:

The circumstances I'm talking abt is not by cheating or Lust But Something u find Yourself between two guys Due to some unusual circumstances.

I ve seen cases like dat. Maybe I will share a scenario later.

Okay, i reserve my comment till you share the scenario!

make she marry both of them

NICOGRAVITY:
I will strongly advice that you marry PAUL.
My reasons are thus.
1 a man that doesn't give you money while you are cutting might not give you money to keep the home even after marriage. Men are worst in behavior after marriage as they hide their real person during cut-ship.
2 Smoking and drinking is a catalyst for cancer, you don't want to be a widow very soon.
3 Paul honestly respects your person and integrity by not being interested in jumping into bed with you.
4 Paul has a great integrity as am very sure that he honours God first, by keeping to the covenant of marriage. A man that fears God is a man that will listen to Pastors, elders, your parents etc in case of challenges in marriage , sure challenges will come.
5 I will always ask people to go for genuine Christians as their first choice. Beauty is vain, character is love.
6 Am an average height man married to a very tall lady, but my wife wouldn't stop thanking God for me, as I always take care of her family. A man that doesn't give you money will never give to your parents, neither will he support your siblings. Remember, marriage isn't just sex, sex, sex. Family challenges will come, siblings and friends may need help and little assistance.
7 God desire that you honour Him with your body as it's His temple.

The problem here is not Paul's height...d real problem is dat Paul is boring!!! And women HATE broing men no matter how rich!

It will be very hard for any woman to marry Paul.

[size=14pt]I just pity the two guys unaware that someone is doing eenie meenie mienie moo with thier hearts.. How can a mature lady not know
what she wants.. when she finally chooses worngly, she will blame all the guys in Nigeria but herself.. typical naija girls[/size]

skajove:
[I think its fiction too... imagine peter and paul. Smokes - dont smoke, stingy and not stingy, interesting and boring, hmmmmm..... quote author=Strongfaze post=33295432]This is pure fiction.

Its very real dear,take it or leave it!

focusM:


That's not true. She never wanted to date two guys at the same time but paul was so good to her that she developed feelings for him. She never expected it to turn out this way. Pauls Godliness is very rare and she has always dreamt of having such a man as a husband just that she loves peter more.

If she loves peter more then i don't see why this topic is even being discussed.You said and i quote, "Peter's drinking, smoking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul".I am guessing your friend didn't find all the qualities he wanted in peter and that is why he started developing feelings for paul.Like Mhizkel said, ''if you are in love with two people, go for the second...Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have accepted the 2nd"

Hanibal:
stop that bobo joor... She is only a christian by mouth... a true christian lady will not date a smoker and drinker for two years... a true christian lady would not have had sex 'many' times with someone she is not married to... a true christian lady will not have two boy friends at the same time.... a true christian lady will not be confused about who to marry.
#sweet truths

You are spot on

Mhizkel:
If you are inlove with two people, go for the second..Because if u truly love the first, you wouldn't have accepted the second!

An ardent fan of Johnny Depp, I suppose?.

focusM:


She is a cool girl. A christian girl. She doesn't drink or smoke. What do u want to know about her again?

A 'cool Christian' girl will not double date in the first place.

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary
Drinks and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

Never advice a lady on who to marry, its a thankless duty. She already has her heart on one but only looking for rubber stamp from friends. If her choice turns out to be a good one, she won't remember her good advisers but let it turn out to be bad, she blame those who adviced her. Let her decide and sink or swim with it. What has a good Christian girl got to do with a smoking and drinking "brother"? If she is really a Christian?

oliidell:
FocusM, Let's do a SWOT analysis. The objective here is to choose whom to marry.

Peter
Strenght: 2.1 graduate, funny, sociable, honest, average height, great personality, 2 years r/ship
Weakness: drinks, smokes, frugal, not too fine, no definite date.

Paul
Strenght: better pay, generous, caring, christian, fine, definite date.
Weakness: boring, short, 3 months r/ship, not open, not sociable.

Your friend:
Strenght: Attractive, reasonable
Weakness: indecision
Opportunity: she's in a good position to asess them both and make a choice.
Threat: she can lose them both if her game gets out & age is not on her side.

Some home truths:
GF didn't stop seeing peter after meeting paul so she consciously prefers peter and is obviously seeing paul for the money.

She likes peter's swag and company even though he drinks and smokes and just endures paul cos he is finer and more caring.

She dosnt give two fvcks about paul's christianity but feels more secure with him cos he is not demanding and has named a month.

She'll be happier with peter, but he might never become generous and might cheat. Paul on the other hand would be a doting husband but he'll bore her to death. Some things about men don't change.

None of the guys fit her picture of Mr. Right. She wants a tall, handsome, funny, generous dude.

My advice:
GF should strip the two guys of all secondary qualities and ask herself who she genuinely prefers.

Then she should decide what she wants from marriage and what she can and cannot live with.

She is obviously more equally yoked with peter, so I'd rather she sticks with him and try to make him work on his weakness.

2 years over 3 months any day.

are u a psychologist? Me likey

ireneidiva:

A 'cool Christian' girl will not double date in the first place.

Thank you my sister, if one or both of them finds out dump her tomorrow, she will broadcast that men are heartless but she won't tell the world the secret game she was playing with both of them

focusM:
So my 27 year old friend is confused. She has two guys who have said they want to marry her before the end of the year and she is worried about who to break up with and who to concentrate on. These is the profile of the two guys.

Peter;
2.1 Graduate of chemistry
Christian
60K salary and smokes
Very homely and makes her laugh
Very understanding
Very social
they have had sex many time
they've been dating for about two years
Has introduced her to his family and all close friends.
He plans to marry her this year
He doesn't really give her his money
He is 29 yrs
Not so fine but average height


Paul;
Graduate of marine science
Firebrand christian
100K salary
Doesn't drink and smoke
He is not very interesting to be with
Their moments together use to be boring
they have never had sex.he said he doesn't want sex till after marriage
She has not met his family but he plans to introduce her to them soon
He plans to marry her in september
He seems very happy with her
They've been dating for three month
He always gives her so much money
He is 26 years old
Very handsome but short.


As a friend,I advice her to take paul because he is nice to a fault(someone that will give and give without expecting anything in return) but she said she really loves peter and she is used to him but his smoking,drinking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul though she is always far more happy to be with peter than paul. Pls advice her. Mature advice from people that have seen life not immature people.

Pack well pls,, Peter and Paul! , dem b Psquare??

Krasid:
If she loves peter more then i don't see why this topic is even being discussed.You said and i quote, "Peter's drinking, smoking and selfish attitude makes her prefer paul".I am guessing your friend didn't find all the qualities he wanted in peter and that is why he started developing feelings for paul.Like Mhizkel said, ''if you are in love with two people, go for the second...Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have accepted the 2nd"

Exactly my dear! I don't why people find it difficult to differentiate love and lust..

Krasid:
It is so sad that matured people do not know what they want.So you say your friend is a good christian yet is contemplating chosing between a guy that drinks, smokes, has 4ked her several times, and does not support her much financially to a decent guy that does not drink, smoke, is patient enough to wait for sex after marriage despite supporting her financially all because one is fun to be around.It seems common sense is no longer common.BTW, why did she start dating 2 guys at the same time.Maybe she wanted to "explore" like most ladies would say.Anyway let your friend reel out the positives and negatives of both men and see which outmatch's the other.It is already clear who would win anyway.

Note that paul is a year younger than her and she doesn't really like that too.

themodernman:
This is a typical case of a girl wanting to eat her cake & have it...she can if she wants to anyway but she must be prepared to be a cheat in d sense dat she marries Paul, lies to him about her virginity or looks for a way to tighten her below up, den continues the fun with Peter the rude boy! Shikena!

But for those saying Peter loves her: dats a lie...Peter doesn't actually give 2fvcks about her...he's d typical rude boy that doesn't send women...Paul on the other hand loves the girl to a fault which is a huge turn off to women...

I've learnt my lessons in life...I'll rather remain single dan be like Paul!

I tire oo.Some women don't know what they want.A guy that doesn't even support her financially b4 marriage.I bet peter would be the time that comes home late drunk.It would be hard to find such a guy with the description of Paul and i don't think the lady in question deserves such a person.