₦airaland Forum

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

This is one of the reasons why sexual relations and cohabitation is really encouraged in a relationship. Am not saying you should have the actual sexual intercourse but a few blow jobs or hand jobs won't hurt. You have to make sure you are compatible sexually. You don't wanna get married and find out your partner has sexual problems.

Honestly, i dint finish reading ur rubbish. You want a sex free relationship so y bugging us after a hectic day? U ladies can be confusion on its own. He touches u trouble, he dosnt, wahala.

You said no sex before and now you are angry that he is not touching, kissing or smooching you.....!!


One word..... U are CONfuSED AND WICKED!!

Luckygurl:
Hehehehe!! Your partner is really a brother in the Lord as in all this jim jim brothers

He has to loosen up a bit, for crying out loud you've got marriage plans.

What are his reasons for acting this way? Are they religion based?
Even if they are, engaging in intimate talks and PDA's ain't a big deal, I mean this is someone you'd spend the rest of your life with and it's only proper you get past the normal brother-sister relationship.
Not like you're asking him to go down all the way, nah!! Just a little show of affection, hugs, pecks, kisses, cuddles does it..

Sister mi! Maybe you gat to find a way to break down those walls of his. Insist on getting a warm hug from him after a meet up, blow a kiss through the phone after a call session, he should reciprocate too. Just find a way to work things around....
Once you achieve this, push no further rather help take things to it's permanent site
Guide him well cos his likes are rare sort of, you only have to work around him a little.
Hope you get your desired results.

Topics like this give me hope. It shows that we still have responsible men out there who ain't in for just sexx and it's likes.
I'd choose a man who's got such mindset over another who's ready to try out different sex positions with you whether or not he's got plans of taking you to the altar.

toks2008
What's your take on this issue?

When i hear of no sex affair i kinda wonder how long they can go with that but i have also done that before for 6years from age 20 to 26.
Nevertheless it all boils down to communication.

So Sit him down and ask him serious deep questions about his sex life (not ex)making him understand that you are just curious. so that you will have a feel of what to expect after marriage.

My advice is that no sex affair should not drag for too long before you marry each other.

My take

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

advice ke

one bad girl dey give ur guy doggy style,dey dere carry key padlock ur toto dey complain here....

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience,

i do wonder if you asked your previous guy the same thing prior to his getting on that plane. . . . . . . . .

dont mind me, just thinking out loud.

Luckygurl:
OMG!!
*facepalm*
What I do nah

Relationship counsellor . My problem with the OP is comparing her last relationship with the present. No two relationships are same. Why do you want to enjoy part of what you claimed it'll be done when you're supposedly married? Why start what might lead to what you have been avoiding?

I think the OP is confused and the way she is going, it is just a matter of time before she gets enough "banging". Besides, that's what she wants indirectly.

All i understand in all these is:
1. The guy is trying to keep to his own side of d bargain..
2..I dont really kn what these cartegory of ppl re called, but i call them the highly sensitive or d touchy ones i.e guys who little tins turn them on, like those things u're demanding from him..
3...He also falls among the psychological tormentable ones i.e people who bear all d blame to themselves wen things go awry between them n others even tho the fault wasnt theirs..they always find it hard to forgive themselves in these situations.

So my dear op it's more adviseable u leave things the way they are..Btw people who walks in spirit are not suppose to think in the flesh ...the scripture say so nt me.

this op is confused, she is not certain about her no sex before marriage philosophy.

so simple, since d guy is your boyfriend. Form you are really very excited about a good thing that has happened to you or anyone close to you. In btw showing excitement, draw him closer to hug him and give him a good kiss.
With this your action , his response should be able to show you clearly if he is fine.

We'll never undrstand women. He sticks to ur wishes and u'r worried again. Talk to him about it directly and be more open also before ur sex life is trully ruined!

Girls can be so selfish.. Its always about wat she wants. Its all about her what happened to what ur guy wants.

What if he has also decided to be celibate. U girls aren't the only ones dat can.

a decision you made and now ur getting scared.

What's with some girls even..you can't eat your cake and have it..you said no sex and he's sticking by it now you complaining..if he has being trying to have sex with you now u would say,you've already told him no sex before...he's being a gentleman..he's trying not to be romantically close to you and involves kissing,cuddling and smooching...you said no sex so u have to cope with it...

SS and firefox.

Have you ever considered that your bf might be impotent ?, or even gay ? .... Or worse still an impotent gay bastard ..... Heheheeh, impotent gay bastard ,,, is that even possible .... #thinking

Give him kpekus

Luckygurl:
Hehehehe!! Your partner is really a brother in the Lord as in all this jim jim brothers

He has to loosen up a bit, for crying out loud you've got marriage plans.

What are his reasons for acting this way? Are they religion based?
Even if they are, engaging in intimate talks and PDA's ain't a big deal, I mean this is someone you'd spend the rest of your life with and it's only proper you get past the normal brother-sister relationship.
Not like you're asking him to go down all the way, nah!! Just a little show of affection, hugs, pecks, kisses, cuddles does it..

Sister mi! Maybe you gat to find a way to break down those walls of his. Insist on getting a warm hug from him after a meet up, blow a kiss through the phone after a call session, he should reciprocate too. Just find a way to work things around....
Once you achieve this, push no further rather help take things to it's permanent site
Guide him well cos his likes are rare sort of, you only have to work around him a little.
Hope you get your desired results.

Topics like this give me hope. It shows that we still have responsible men out there who ain't in for just sexx and it's likes.
I'd choose a man who's got such mindset over another who's ready to try out different sex positions with you whether or not he's got plans of taking you to the altar.

the reason why every lady should learn to close their legs till their wedding night...why pay for the cow when you can get the milk free?

afolwalex20:
Op are u a virgin??

If NO, I c no reason y u would propose no sex till marriage


A girl once told me this, I felt like slapping her dat day!
Imagine I know er ex and dis guy has destroyed d hole


If u r not a virgin just park well


And if u r a virgin..
#my advice..

I think d guy is very smart, if I'm right, he's playing his cards right..
He knows u will get bothered and would want to know aw good he will be on bed..
He will definitely get u!
NB: am not sure ooo

And I still wonder y u r bothered

I agree with you,no sex before marriage shouldn't be practiced by non virgins,after all she is not pure anymore.

baibijay:
She will come back and say, "I tried to kiss my boyfriend and he went all violent on me"

Just kidding though!

Maybe one hell of a loyal guy and he thinks he is doing you righy by not showing any sexual behavior.

I actually agree with the try and kiss him part.
If you come out too obvious hr may resist and say .. " this is not you"

But Isn't this why they say girls are complicated? You said no to sex or its equivalent and he is following your rules. You saying maybe he has a problem

Whatever the case is you really don't want to have a boring sex life(married or not). Esp when married.

So for your sake pray he is alright

as in ee...see me see trouble;u dont want sex or its equivalent and yet she's complaining the young guy who has sacrificed and keeping to her rule may not be normal....what does the guy want from the poor lover(ie the guy) in the first place..i dont understand stuffs like this or does she knows if the young guy kissing her may make her irresistible and wanting to do it? this is not an issue at all

Youngpo413:
I agree with you,no sex before marriage shouldn't be practiced by non virgins,after all she is not pure anymore.

Abi o..

You really dont need to ask his personal take for a start and especially as he isnt forthcoming. Introduce general sex topics, his inputs and reactions will tell how far he is gone..

is dat nt wat ur looking for? gals ehn, I wonder if u gt satisfied

abeg ooooo........ make una fear God small now? who de tempt who now........

but dat guy sha...... una sure say everything dey ok so......?

bcuz nature, experience and science tell us say no matter what..... "A MANS D""K NEEDS TO ERECT EVERY MORNING {4.00-6.00 AM}" but if dis guys case is different den u need to go extra mile to confirm sometin now than put all d young boys around ya u in trouble after marriage by running after dem looking/searching for sexual satisfaction...

it is well with u,

NB;
Review your vow.

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

WHAT DO YOU WANT

Op do you have a picture? Maybe you are not sexually attractive to men.

You will soon get tired of touch after marriage. ok

For now do not lure him into fornication

He's a man with purpose and vision. He needs every tendency to posses his possessions. Let him be, tempt him not.

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

Eyah OP kpele... mayb ur bf na eunuch..

Btw m open o.. jst in case

robedu:
thats not a good comment to make you know? that was not what i said

you they mind that oluku

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

Women una get problem