nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

Contrary to what most peeps here are saying, I think you are Very Right to be worried.
I've been in a 'No Sex' relationship for years , so I am talking from experience.
It's really difficult for a guy that loves a girl to have that much control over himself to not show a bit of passion/ ' move body' a little.
Even if , for argument sake, he has that level of control, it's still bothersome.
Too much control in sexual matters is not so good. Passion indicates a temporary loss of control.

His unwillingness to discuss/reveal/open up about his sexual past is very wrong.
Sexual compatibility is a Very Important part of dating and it's importance in marriage cannot be stated enough.
If you are both ignorant of your sexual preferences, then you're only giving room f issues later.

The Bible says ' Adam n Eve were both naked But not ashamed'.
He needs to open up.

Disregard those telling you to try to kiss him, it might backfire.
Instead, do a background investigation on him. Talk to his exes,his friends and find out what u need to know.




....and let go of your ex. You're still kinda stuck on him.
Peace

I just can't imagine being in a no-sex relationship with someone i want to marry.
That is madness.
Sexual compatibility is a must.

vani86:
When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

Bros, ur comment funny gan. Haven't stopped laughing since

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

Gurls gurls...when he starts now, you will still come here and open that ur mouth that he's too active...why not u follow him je je je and get know him better? i bet you, there's a SEX BEAST in him somewhere...just wait until he pays ur bride price...

mrkay101:
Girls can be so selfish.. Its always about wat she wants. Its all about her what happened to what ur guy wants.

What if he has also decided to be celibate. U girls aren't the only ones dat can.

a decision you made and now ur getting scared.

THAT'S IS A TYPICAL NAIJA WOMAN MENTALITY.

ME ME ME AND ME WITH ME NOT WITH ME MORE OF ME ONLY ME JUST ME.


I CALL THEM THE ME GENERATION, WHO ONLY THINK OF THEMSELVES BUT NOT THINKING OF OTHERS

prettysassygirl:
To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

Bad girl

Come out plane to your guy. Tell my brother say you want him to bleep you to prove himself to you simple. Touching is not your problem

I'm not you man but I once found myself in a relationship where she was not a virgin but decided the no sex tin,to cut the long story shot,I started sleeping with another girl at my area,my own girl was now lookingless attrative to me and I got tired of caring for her becaue my birthday came and she didn't get me anything and when I aske dher why she said the money she wanted to use,she borrowed it out to a friend.The relationship now fell to the friend zone,she got tired and called it off but after some months she came back telling me she really loved me but there was nothing for me to go back for.learn from this my sis.you are not attracted to him again and he is sleeping with another girl.sorry,I don't know you but am hating you already because you are wicked.I pray you loose that guy so this will serve as a lesson to you and your likes out there.

Some girls are not just happy with their present state #smh. Tomorrow if the guy chop and go she'd be like, 'ALL MEN ARE WICKED!MEN ARE BEAST!'

If she wants a 4kM8 then she shud go out there and toast a guy, there are so many of them over there in Lagos who are sexually active.

As for the girl;
Its either she's cursed or her toto smells from a distance.
Its either she's one of the ENDTIME girls looking for whom to take to the pit or she doesn't yet understand her purpose of Life.

u don't wnt sex cos of God and ur mother so don't wake the sleeping dog just wait and take anything u find down there. Cheers

No sex relationship, yet ur pressing him so hard to know his sexual life, what are u hoping to get? U want to torture the poor guy with sexual feelings but u no wan open leg, wicked girl, are u a virgin? dey dia dey sleep on a moving bike, if he's not discussing it, den there might be another chick beating u to d game, even d one wey Dana help u kill must have been having his fill after getting turned on with another better sexy chick, who knows maybe he was flying into d arms of his Oda babe b4 Dana obstruct the movement of his ministry

nlfan:
Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

I don't know what is wrong with women.If a man request for sex often,he is a sex freak.When he does not he is not a real man.Useless creation

adjoviomole:





They have both agreed not to av sex na. Its just to see the guy turned on. N dem no born am well make hin somthing no strong otherwise somthn must be wrong

Okay o!

valdes00:
u don't want sex in the relationship so whats d essence of d sex talk and romance.... don't u knw its a punishment to gt him turned on without drilling dat hole..... I like dat bros jare.... him sabi... hey sis, u shouldn't complain... at least he is Kiping to ur agreement.... and sorry to burst ur bubbles sis, that bros is drilling a better hole out dere.. I can swear on it.... don't feel bad abt it, its normal... lolzzz konji na bastard

[size=18pt]Fact!!![/size]

debolly:
Best comment so far!!!

Thank You.

nawa oo..

Hes probably gay.
This is what Nigerians want when they force gay men to get married!

Sorry lady, but its best u talk things thru with him. Its better to find out now before u say "I do".

vani86:
When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

I swear. Mma mma, come put mouth for the matter. You go complain ifa follow dis format?

Gegz:

Bros, ur comment funny gan. Haven't stopped laughing since

my brother, na how i see am i dey talk. can you imagine this type of thread. if you touch you only want sex, when you decide to be a good boy, you are impotent or hate sex.

girls too confuse i swear

Raiden:


Thank You.

Who is deceiving who here? How can you be in a no sex relationship and still want him to kiss you, hug you and what have you? Please, come out from that deception and allow this man explore your inner circle. After all you just want to know how capable he is in bed, how do you intend to know if he doesn't knack you?

What you don't realize is the way a man's sexuality works. For a man, there is no time or need for all these ''gymnastics'' ie kiss here, cuddle there, touch there and all the time wasting. Once those things start, it must end up in doing the doing down below. It is women that can cuddle, kiss, even have their ni**ples sucked and walk away like nothing happened.

For a man one you start, there is only one logical conclusion - penile penetration/ejaculation. It works like a switch - off or on. There is no hanging in the balance. That's probably why the gentleman is struggling to maintain a safe gap so s not to be aroused to the point of no return and then you would be the one coming to complain here of how he abused your trust.

My advise to you is to let sleeping dog lie until you are ready for 'two can play'. Man no get time for 'supporting film' na the main event direct na im be the koko. What is the need getting all hungry and you can't eat food presented on a platter for you? If you are still in doubt, then take him to the Doctor, otherwise do the test yourself but don't complain after.

vani86:
When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

bros u talk am all, u care , dey complain ... U don't care dey complain ..women giving men headaches always.. Chaii God dey o

Op nothing is wrong wt ur guy, infact when he looks @u passionately like u said u kw wat goes thru he's mind? His will b sayn in his mind--------wait tll I catch u, I ll give it to u real hot. Infact ur in trouble oooo. U too can kiss him, hug n do d touchings naa. Nothing to fear, ur guy is rare, hold on tight.

baibijay:


But Isn't this why they say girls are complicated? You said no to sex or its equivalent and he is following your rules. You saying maybe he has a problem

Whatever the case is you really don't want to have a boring sex life(married or not). Esp when married.

So for your sake pray he is alright

I tire for some ladies ooo. Nice contribution dear.

Ahmed0336:
Some girls self !!!!!! After una don settle for no sex till after marriage na now u dey complain abt una decision. WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW?

I wonder oooo.

I always tell people that ladies are fake.they always live a fake life.you meet them,they tell you sex after marriage,you don't touch them they say you're not man enough.abeg wetin make men do.its even a good thing that this one said the truth.all I'll advise is that;you talk to him that you're in need of it cos I'm sure you've told him Before that its sex after marriage and he agreed with you,now you're complaininge,so, now go to him that you wanted it hard..its no big deal.don't make any mistake of taken it else where.else hold yourself if you can.

Toks2008:


When i hear of no sex affair i kinda wonder how long they can go with that but i have also done that before for 6years from age 20 to 26.
Nevertheless it all boils down to communication.

So Sit him down and ask him serious deep questions about his sex life (not ex)making him understand that you are just curious. so that you will have a feel of what to expect after marriage.

My advice is that no sex affair should not drag for too long before you marry each other.

My take

OP i'll ask the quoted a question and i need you to take the answer seriously.

Bruv, in that 6 years of no sex relationship, honestly did you not have sex in 6 years or just in six years with your gf?

Rape him!!!

ugbah007:
I'm not you man but I once found myself in a relationship where she was not a virgin but decided the no sex tin,to cut the long story shot,I started sleeping with another girl at my area,my own girl was now lookingless attrative to me and I got tired of caring for her becaue my birthday came and she didn't get me anything and when I aske dher why she said the money she wanted to use,she borrowed it out to a friend.The relationship now fell to the friend zone,she got tired and called it off but after some months she came back telling me she really loved me but there was nothing for me to go back for.learn from this my sis.you are not attracted to him again and he is sleeping with another girl.sorry,I don't know you but am hating you already because you are wicked.I pray you loose that guy so this will serve as a lesson to you and your likes out there.

short that ur dirty mouth, fractionation art of deduction/loophole trick, it can't work, ds person is emotionally stronger than D's cheap trick, all she want is honest advice.

my dear sister if the brother did'nt come to you i think you should do it by kissing him, it is better you do it now than to come back later telling us your husband is not romantic or does'nt fit sexually. And what if u see his thing rise now and u later find out that he is a one minute guy? What of dat? U better draw him close and do the needful now

Pls try to put him on d line, touch his manhood and see what he will do