₦airaland Forum

deeptesting:
I am married but separated you need to see the treatment i was accorded in Church. The pastor called out all the men to wait for further discussion on an issue and i joined the crew as a man who is above youthful age.. Low and behold they separated us, single men, separated or divorced and held their meeting and never called put to put us on the know on the outcome as promised.

So i assumed their definition of a 'man" is that which is married and living with his wife and children.. Well, life is too short to hang on to the unnecessary so i quit the church.

Now searching for a new place where Jesus Christ the non discriminator is present.

trishapal:
Even before I got to the point where the op expressly mentioned it, I already knew he (or most probably SHE) was single and 'unhappy' but pretending to be satisfied. Marriage is a program of God so I don't think anyone should arrogantly explain themselves out for not falling in line with that program. Some unhappy singles instead of talking to God to fulfill His purpose for their lives, resort to self-pride, praising their status in public but weeping in their closets. About people 'prying' into your privacy, you need to know that in Africa, or let me say Nigeria, anyone who says 'it is my life' is not always right - we haven't reached that stage. Very few may talk about your status to mock you but many mean well for you. No matter your achievements, except if God exceptionally does not want you to get married, you need to know that you are not where you should be. And if your petty 'achievements' have gotten into your head that you now think or talk less about marriage, you need some people around you to 'beat' you into order...

bisdam9086:
I think the reason why your pastor had to separate you guys is that living with a woman is not easy. For a man to be living with a woman means that the man is very tolerant . Living with a woman is tantamount to living with a mad person(No offence). The strong skills used to endure and maintain a relationship with a woman for years can be required to make decision in the Society because it requires a lot of intelligence to stay under a roof with a woman for years.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

naijathings:
if u no marry, wahala.
if u no born, wahala.
and worst of all, it is everybody's business.

if u no marry, wahala.
if u no born, wahala.
and worst of all, it is everybody's business.

Go to school, make sure you stay away from girls and face your books,
Don't go to that church,
go to this one because they have a strong pastor,
join one or more groups in the church,
read your books,
you must graduate and go for NYSC with your mates,
Submit 1,000 CVs,
Give your first salary to the church so God will not allow anything happen to your job,
Pay Tithe,
Pay tithe,
Pay Tithe,
remember your junior ones and don't forget to pay their school fees,
When will you SETTLE DOWN ?
When will you SETTLE DOWN ?
Don't Marry this one, her eyes are wider than your own,
Don't Marry this one, she is from a wayward family,
Don't Marry this one, she is from OSU family, her mother is a witch, she is abiku, her father is a poor man.
I hope you have started trying to make babies ?
I hope your wife will give us a baby boy to carry the family name because these girls will soon go to another family.

Kachisbarbie:
this is the most facile hackneyed statement I keep hearing.
Which fact?
Where did you conduct the survey?
If 80% of married people you know are unhappy, then change your circle because something is really wrong somewhere.

Marriage is sweet, as at when due to the right person. I don't believe in pressurised marriage, neither do I believe in your statistics.

Why won't 80% of marriage be unhappy to you, when you go about looking at unhappy couples, to make yourself feel better and buttress your statistics.

If a married person says "singles (especially ladies) are unhappy" some of you would almost have cardiac arrest on top the matter. Argue constructively, albeit with facts. Don't fling preposterous statistics here and there...

MsGlobalwonder:
thank you!! Thank you very much. Nothing to add. Mind you, those choking others with their marital status re more often than none miserable in their marriage.of course they can't leave because of "society" (whatever that means). Domestic violence is on the all time rise, spousal killing is now a normal thing yet they will rather die with the tag "married" than living to fulfill purpose! Marriage is good, marriage is sweet. It is also worth waiting for. If done wrongly, that person of all men is the most miserable. Some can't afford that.

hedonistic:
Don't mind wicked Nigerians. These are the same people that would insult and mock the hell out of you if you ever encounter financial shortage and run to them for help after you rush into marriage. They will say 'mumu, na who force you go marry when you know say you no fit feed family'.

If you know how much the average crèche, nursery, and primary school fees cost these days; if you know how much the average manageable one or two bedroom apartment in a decent area costs these days; if you take stock of the numerous spiralling bills these days and the fact that your earnings are barely commensurate with all these.... then you must give yourself serious brain before rushing into marriage to please foolish people who will not help you when the storm inevitably comes.

Ediss:
Marriage is so sweet, go and get your won loving lovely God living fearing wife jare. That make you a responsible man other wise you are a boy

menix:
Lamentation of a 'play boy/Gay/Lesbian/Feminist'
Just watch, even those wowo galz no man dey price will also come to support this lamentation..


If u re being stigmatized enta market, ring no cost, it will stop people asking you queshions..

6fit:
LOL.......u don profer d lasting solution....Thank God for '' dem sey make i no Make noice wedding''....enter market buy yurself wedding ring and tell dem u are married make dem cary their aproko go d next door

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

naijathings:
if u no marry, wahala.
if u no born, wahala.
and worst of all, it is everybody's business.

if u no marry, wahala.
if u no born, wahala.
and worst of all, it is everybody's business.

Go to school, make sure you stay away from girls and face your books,
Don't go to that church,
go to this one because they have a strong pastor,
join one or more groups in the church,
read your books,
you must graduate and go for NYSC with your mates,
Submit 1,000 CVs,
Give your first salary to the church so God will not allow anything happen to your job,
Pay Tithe,
Pay tithe,
Pay Tithe,
remember your junior ones and don't forget to pay their school fees,
When will you SETTLE DOWN ?
When will you SETTLE DOWN ?
Don't Marry this one, her eyes are wider than your own,
Don't Marry this one, she is from a wayward family,
Don't Marry this one, she is from OSU family, her mother is a witch, she is abiku, her father is a poor man.
I hope you have started trying to make babies ?
I hope your wife will give us a baby boy to carry the family name because these girls will soon go to another family.

lestat:
To all rejected, dumped, used, confused, lonely, dependent, emotionally immature, mentally immature, aggressive, single people on naioraland who are all bashing marriage and consoling themselves!!! listen!!!

I work in a company with 70% expatriates and even they will tell you marriage stabilizes one better and makes you a well rounded human being!! I get this all the time because i am in my mid thirties and still single!! yet in a much as i would like to convince myself that being single rocks the reality is that being single and unmarried sucks!!!! it sucks so bad it stinks!!!

How i would love to come home to a smiley face of a wife but things just didn't go that way, may have been my fault or the people i met who knows? thats life sometimes life serves you lemons and instead of ranting make some lemonade!!!

Contrary to your post i actually welcome these constant criticisms why? because they keep me on my toes and constantly remind me what i should be doing!! you see its easy to get lost in the life of being single but let me tell you all

THERES NO JOY IN BEING A SINGLE PARENT NOR IS THERE ANY JOY IN BEING LONELY!!! so i would rather keep having people tell me ythe painful truth than get stuck in self delusions of intentionally wanting to be single when in reality i had some innate issues that needed fixing hence why every good person left me!!

For example.. i have a colleague who has serious temper issues , she wont ever agree to anything except its her point of view, now guess what?!! SHE IS SINGLE AT 34!!!! (No surprise there) now at every opportunity she sings out that it was her choice to be single, that infact she has decided to be a single mum!!! wow!! such self deceit!! the truth is she cant keep a relationship because of her attitude!!

Mine is temper i have a bad temper and that sort of used to scare some women away, imagine me f00ling myself into thinking that being single is a choice instead of working on myself?

All i am saying is no one wants to be alone!! no matter how much they deceive them selves or convince people, when they are inside their bedroom alone, they all cry and think over past relationships that they self sabotaged!!!

So stop whining and work on yourself, then maybe you can get married

Kimoni:
I think I like this babe

It's mutual

yomi007k:
That is pure abuse of power.

lastpage:
Get a Husband and stop ranting here!

Yes, married women deserve a lot of respect and will always be accorded that due respect than on you over-aged "Agadi Nwanyi" that is playing around, jumping from one bed to another, all in the name of civilisation!

If you like, go to court and say you are not respected like a married woman.
Infact, you are considered not yet responsible, since you are yet to get married.
Who are you "responsible towards"? Your wife? Your husband? Your children?

Oh, l forgot, you many boyfriends/Girlfriends, right?
Who will even put you in sensitive position when they know that you can "bail-out" at anytime since you have no "family responsibilities"?

Like l said, if e dey pain you, charge me to court.

Married and Proud of it. Just see my "ring finger"!



Lastpage!

livinbygrace:
Marriage is good ,"Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD".As a single man,i don loose count of the numbers of ladies have slept with,though i dont really like the act,but i have no choice than to do the act when the urge arise.

mkhairr:
Look weda u lyk it o not married men and women deserv respect and dey r ahead of u dat re still single

lastpage:
Get a Husband and stop ranting here!

Yes, married women deserve a lot of respect and will always be accorded that due respect than on you over-aged "Agadi Nwanyi" that is playing around, jumping from one bed to another, all in the name of civilisation!

If you like, go to court and say you are not respected like a married woman.
Infact, you are considered not yet responsible, since you are yet to get married.
Who are you "responsible towards"? Your wife? Your husband? Your children?

Oh, l forgot, you many boyfriends/Girlfriends, right?
Who will even put you in sensitive position when they know that you can "bail-out" at anytime since you have no "family responsibilities"?

Like l said, if e dey pain you, charge me to court.

Married and Proud of it. Just see my "ring finger"!



Lastpage!

StarboyMichael:
Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married.
[size=40pt]I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me .[/size]

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.

omoharry:
Don't you think you comment are very harsh and not necessary...I am over 30 and single with an ailment..that does not mean we jump from one man to the other...if you are married and settled then lucky you and pray for us to marry and settle down with someone we love and are compatible with. Will you say becos i am over 30 i should just marry becos of old age despite the fact that i don't have any feelings for the man and stand his presence for long? this is the reason why the rate of divorce is on the increase. People were pressured to marry only to discover that they cannot cope the challenges appears before them. Pls is not just fair to say she is a slut just becos she is not married.Marriage is a good thing and one institution i really long to be part of but i must marry someone that i like. We are all women,words like this hurt alot you know.

StarboyMichael:
My friend wrote this and I want to share.

Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.

Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.

Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. ‪#‎smile‬. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.

Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.

Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.

Thank you and share your thoughts.