₦airaland Forum

destinel:
I tell you she's not what you think, things just got a little out of control than she and myself can handle. And we really felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it.

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

tensazangetsu20:
It's not about having an abortion or not. That woman doesn't love the op. She still feels something strong for the first guy that's why she got pregnant for him twice. He's just second fiddle.

menix:
Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured yet she is so loose to ve 2kids out of wedlock abi God-fearing no dey reach the pant region..

Dude carry on with what rocks ur boat afterall Loff is blind.

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love....

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

forexbinary:
Onye uwa mmebi

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

Billyonaire:
It is not the love I am worried about. It is how you intend to raise 2 kids for a man who does not give a damn and in the next few years you do not have the finances to see your DNA through. Love is cool, but love is not a dependable energy, it flows in and out and fractures your mind.

When making a decision, eliminate Love out of the equation and look at the situation without the coloration of love.

Love is a bonus in marriage, but not the yardstick. What you should be concerned about is if she is your Soul tie, if not, you might just be fighting a different battle which is much more than physical, and Love will be the first thing to jump out of the window and you will see a woman with two grown kids giving you and your little kids-to-come upper-cut, left-right and center.

I repeat, take love out of the equation and review the relationship with a different periscope.

You will feel that same sensation for another lady and even more. There is no reason to marry on an account of Love.

Always allow love to be the bonus.

At the moment, make no promises.

Just let her know, time will tell

What becomes of you,

and her.

Bye.

Divinerace:
how can you knw ur soul tie?

menix:
Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured yet she is so loose to ve 2kids out of wedlock abi God-fearing no dey reach the pant region..

Dude carry on with what rocks ur boat afterall Loff is blind.

menix:
Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured yet she is so loose to ve 2kids out of wedlock abi God-fearing no dey reach the pant region..

Dude carry on with what rocks ur boat afterall Loff is blind.

bodejohn:
We are in the days where deceit is celebrated and truth is scorned...

Imagine that the lady had aborted the pregnancies of those children, most of the folks talking above would have fallen head over heels with her...not knowing her past. But since she chose to live with the consequences of her actions...we jump to call her names...even though we might be worse than her.

OP, if your story is true, I pity that you came to NL to seek for opinions...you must be blaming yourself for that already.

My own opinion about single mums, I prefer a lady who is open with her past...a lady who chose to face the consequences of her actions than the one who had covered adultery and fornication with blue cold blood murder.

BasketballGURU:
[color=#1980BC] She's an H.O.D in church, yet she's so "loose" [/color]

[color=#1980BC] So rueful [/color]

ejigbo:
Is this 1 ok? Is this 1 ok?

9cbaby:
I think he is only asking for an advice and not insult,if you have nothing good to offer him you can keep quite and stop the insult.

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

Tokziby:
Life is what u make out of it.

Marriage is not how far but how well u can tolerate each others short comings regardless of what the future holds.

There is no difference in marrying a virgin and non-virgin cos both of them are woman and they have their womanly traits though at different levels. What matters is the person u choose to spend the rest of ur life with and accept to take full responsibility the outcome after tying the knot.

You might go for a virgin and ur life become worse for it and vice versa.

But from my own point of view, i always say this, marry the person that cannot live without u and discard the one that u can live without. This is because u can tell when she truly loves u deeply from her actions, but u cannot know whether the one u love truly loves u back the way u did.

Why i said this, is that, u can always get best out of the one that cannot live without u, by her conforming to ur wants as she will do everything possible to keep u to herself. Based on what u stated, she already has two kids, thus she has a very slim chance of getting another single guy like u if u break up with her. Also with the current epidermic of "husbandless" single girls in the society, trust me she can get direct admission in 3rd mainland bridge if u decide to ditch her.

The ball is in ur court... Despite all i said, its still does not guarantee that she will give u a blissful life when u marry her, as animals cannot stop to exhibit their animalistic instinct so does a woman will never fail to exhibit their commotion traits.

Thats my 10 kobo.

God knows best...