₦airaland Forum

main24:
I can't remember the last time I interfered in a topic like this but this might just be helpful.

First it depends on the kind of guy you are getting married to, which I can't say...

I see a lot of people telling you to NOT tell him, please ask yourself;
"this people advising me, are they married or living with lies in their marriage?",
"Whatever happens afterwards, will they be there for you?",
"is any of them a successful marriage counselor, and what will a successful marriage counselor advice me in such situation?", etc

Remember, opinion/advice is a very cheap commodity, anybody can give them.

The best way to get advice about anything is to look for a successful person in that line and ask for counsel.
So I would advice you to look for a successful marriage counselor around you and get advice from them.

Let me now drop my one cent of advice for you, it might be useless though:

For your mind to have brought up the situation now means you HAVE TO TELL HIM. Assuming you completely forgot about it, is a different ball game.
My dear, I have seen and heard a lot about what goes on in marriage (I am close to successful marriage counselor)...

Marriages that are built on absolute truth still pass through a lot of trials...trust me, you CAN NOT live with the pain of a marriage built on lies oooo. It is just hell on earth, but if you can endure hell on earth, then don't tell him.

I am not saying if you tell him now, he will jump up and marry you,..mini hell might break out but a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage my dear.

And for those saying he will NEVER find out if you don't tell him, haha...
Life is a really funny place...One day, one day he will find out. I don't know how yours will play out but when he finds out (not if but when),...it is well.

Tell him now, endure whatever happens afterwards (if possible look for an elderly person he respects and obeys, he should have hinted you about the person before, talk to the person to help you present the issue. If he is a guy that doesn't like a third party ish, then don't involve anyone, sort it out yourself).

I marriage built on deceit and lies has no chance of surviving through trials and difficult times ( every marriage have equal share of them, no exception)

A broken relationship is far better than a misery or broken marriage!

Questions to ponder: Have you ever considered if he is hiding a bunch of lies that would break your heart when you find out about them later in marriage?

Good luck.

Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

1StopRudeness:
Babe... When you say a man had sex with you... Are u trying to tell us u were raped, or because u were young u feel it doesn't qualify as sex
You've eaten ur cake or should I say ur cake has been eaten.. which ever way you want to still have the cake.
Uve made mistake by lieing, u now went further to cover up the lie by making ur inexperienced to husband to feel he got a tear rubber..... If the guilty conscience is too much for you.. Tell him.. But brace ur self... The storm that will follow will come in Serious batches...
But this is my advice... Bone the parole... There is a saying :let sleeping dogs lie..... Ur case is a perfect example of such a saying...

No use ur hand pour sand for ur garri ooo

Bibi294:
Please tell him... Quilty conscience is something very difficult to deal with...
You won't want to keep that for the rest of your life.. Just tell him everything cos if he gets to know later, that's doom....
Tell

oyb:
[img]http://1.bp..com/-84ITnMcz15w/VW4UhxRZSiI/AAAAAAAAGN8/JXTviepMDSg/s1600/MadMaxVaginaDentata-640x294.png[/img]

Puffy007:
I wish I can like this a 1000 times..I read her write-up and I thought it was funny..was actually looking for the first person to point that out. She is afraid of lying about her virginity but not about fornication on the altar...how ironic and stupid

thunderbabs:
M not a spoilt olosho ooo...just curious nooni. Its gud to learn, u knw

Ishilove:
You are bothered about taking vows before a priest with a secret hanging between you two, but aren't bothered that you have already fornicated with your fiance, and as such are not qualified to wear that white gown. White symbolises virginity, purity and chastity, and you are not any of the above. Most times we fool ourselves thinking we are fooling God and the world.

sinaj:
You better look for a way to tell him yourself even if it will cost you the wedding.
If he should find out himself he might feel betrayed nd hate u.

If he really loves you, the truth wnt stop him from getting married to you and if tries to stp the wedding just know he doesnt worth it.

I wonder why people lie to their loved ones

Ishilove:
You are bothered about taking vows before a priest with a secret hanging between you two, but aren't bothered that you have already fornicated with your fiance, and as such are not qualified to wear that white gown. White symbolises virginity, purity and chastity, and you are not any of the above. Most times we fool ourselves thinking we are fooling God and the world

1StopRudeness:
Babe... When you say a man had sex with you... Are u trying to tell us u were raped, or because u were young u feel it doesn't qualify as sex
You've eaten ur cake or should I say ur cake has been eaten.. which ever way you want to still have the cake.
Uve made mistake by lieing, u now went further to cover up the lie by making ur inexperienced to husband to feel he got a tear rubber..... If the guilty conscience is too much for you.. Tell him.. But brace ur self... The storm that will follow will come in Serious batches...
But this is my advice... Bone the parole... There is a saying :let sleeping dogs lie..... Ur case is a perfect example of such a saying...

No use ur hand pour sand for ur garri ooo

kennypedia:
am still curious what she did to her private part to cover up her lie. I think modest men are at stake if oloshos learn this skill

frenzyduchess:
Hahahahah, she doesn't want to tell us

7Alexander:
At 15 a man had sex with you, or you had sex?
That's the tone of one who doesn't like to take responsibility for their actions. I understand that 15 is not legal, but that's just on paper. You knew what you were doing, no be this naija wey we dey so?

[b]Please what did you do to your vagina?

7Alexander:
At 15 a man had sex with you, or you had sex?
That's the tone of one who doesn't like to take responsibility for their actions. I understand that 15 is not legal, but that's just on paper. You knew what you were doing, no be this naija wey we dey so?