₦airaland Forum

metro10:
Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

Shebi he has walked away, unlike ur person of a dad! Who sat there n continued d fraud!

Free d nigga joor n stop comparing him to ur dad!

Did ur dad, pay for his parent's treatment, I'm sure ur mom did.

Did ur dad even attempt to build anything for his parents?

Even his wife agreed, he was a good man, unlike d trash u're trying to compare him with!

Don't point out ur dad's house and with ur left hand, if u can't bear d consequences

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Neither divorce nor total shun is the best option. Sit down and resolve this issue with your wife.

If you won't mind, kindly tell me the business that you guys did at the start of your marriage that fetched you so much money.

ojabel:
Hmmm! Mr husband, you are not wise. You ask me why? You left a house you claimed belong to you and your wife simply because she abused you. Can you see yourself now? Because of your pride and ego you are about destroying what you have laboured for over the years.

The way I see you, you are not wise at all. The problem with your marriage didn't start now but long time ago. Think about this, you and your wife did business together and you are sharing the money, shouldn't the money be for the family in the first place and you decide on what to do with it as the head of the family?

Now, you are forming 'I don't believe in divorce ,' but you are tilting toward separation. Haba! There is no wisdom in your decision. It's only a weakling of a man that runs away from problems. Problems are meant to be solved and not to run away from. Go back home and fix your marriage before it is too late. You have a good wife. Only you need to be man enough to lead and assure her that with you the future is alright for both of you and your children.

No need insulting him,.....

Let's pray for their reconciliation.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

I tire for this man only you use profit from you peoples business to take your dad abroad for treatment you still use the remaining to complete their house I don’t mean to be judge mental that is where the problem started I think the marriage is one sided you have to be much more careful when you decide on things to do for each other’s family she has her own family too

yettymuse:
.you must think the next woman is made in heaven yea?? If you think there is any fish remaining in life's ocean, Oga na abolo fish remain. Drop your bleeping ego and go back to your woman! Your kind of man makes it difficult for a woman to thrive and be successful staying married!..

Who jokes with "pack your bags and get out of my house"? Your balls were crushed and splashed all over the place when you got the shocker of your life...when the damn table was turned.

Tueh!!! Double Tueh on you! Look at you coming here to counter a thread! You need this woman to fix a lotta ish in your life mehn! You have a woman that understands what owning a property means and you want to let her go because of your stupid selfish interests I pity you because you go pay
rent till you die!... You think say one hand dey clap make anybody hear? Olorigbigbe!

Nonsense and stupid pride... Arggghhhhhh!

Say him no want again.. Na wetin? No be everybody go marry or stay married.

Abdullahi4u7:
Neither divorce nor total shun is the best option. Sit down and resolve this issue with your wife.

If you won't mind, kindly tell me the business that you guys did at the start of your marriage that fetched you so much money.

Is that what we are talking about now MR Business Man

She did say what he used his part of the money for.

HEseesall:
Yes it is not a small money, his dad had an ailment he had to be flown out, he used the remaining to complete their house, he's the first born, now they think i'm evil cos of all he did for them, it's really saddening

Lhimeet:
Firstly,i don't think I can advice you enough but let me say my little

You guys have to read both write up well

He said he used his own part of the share to take care of his father's health which involves flying out of the country.. Which of course we all know will require a lot of money in this present day & time..(His wife didn't elaborate on this) Which portray a scenario in her write up that the husband only spent the money on his parent's out of freewill ..

Though I don't support outrightly changing the name to only the husband's name.. Cause once she does that, she is giving him 100% right to something he contributed less amount in actualizing..(Not with standing what I wrote in the first paragraph)

Again, the house can't not outrightly belong to the woman.. She only bought the land.. Both of them contributed the finances in building a structure(The woman wrote this in her post) Which means the man's sweat is also part of the whole house(that's where the anger came in).

You also knew the situation on ground that warranted your husband to use his own fund for something different to what you actually planned on doing.. You should have played your part & considered the happenings as at that particular time.. Buying the property only in your name will cause an uproar..

All in all.. Divorce is never an option if you guys truly loves yourselves like you claim.. Think about your children future. Do you as a woman want another woman treating your children's unjustly? And you as man knowing fully well if you marry another woman.. She can never treat your children the way their mother will treat them take it?

Iron things out & return to being the happy family you were once living..

CC : ExtraExtra
HEseesall

The mistake was made from the onset, you shouldn't have shared the money from the very beginning. It was pointless. One account would have been alright for you both since you had a purpose but other needs arose which you needed to have met, so you should have done it all from same pot since you are one.
I and my hubby share same account irrespective of who brought in the lion share. It's called our money and that is where the trust is.
Sell d house or let her Change the property name to Mr and Mrs lagbaja.
But seriously if this woman where to be I, the hubby would have turned to her slave since because everything and property I and my hubby own are registered in my name. Oluwa o don't let me use greed or selfishness destroy my home oo!

Processor01:
1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

Hmmm Dude, you need to tell me where you live so I can wear my Primary school Uniforms, pick up my books & start learning Wisdom

yettymuse:
.you must think the next woman is made in heaven yea?? If you think there is any fish remaining in life's ocean, Oga na abolo fish remain. Drop your bleeping ego and go back to your woman! Your kind of man makes it difficult for a woman to thrive and be successful staying married!..

Who jokes with "pack your bags and get out of my house"? Your balls were crushed and splashed all over the place when you got the shocker of your life...when the damn table was turned.

Tueh!!! Double Tueh on you! Look at you coming here to counter a thread! You need this woman to fix a lotta ish in your life mehn! You have a woman that understands what owning a property means and you want to let her go because of your stupid selfish interests I pity you because you go pay
rent till you die!... You think say one hand dey clap make anybody hear? Olorigbigbe!

Nonsense and stupid pride... Arggghhhhhh!

Sister, Please are you from Warri. Just asking o

Waooo, this is serious. All I want for both of you is to settle it all. Come to an agreement for the sake of your children and marriage.

From what i read on both sides, you still want to be back together, please forgive each other and settle the case.

But Oga Extra, be fair on her, the property should be changed to both of you not yours alone please. Just reach a good compromise together.

cococandy:
You only receive what you give. Ain’t no one holding your destiny but you. If you support evil it will be your portion

BTW you Sound like a fvcking retarrd every time you call someone bitter because they don’t agree with you lopsided views of life.

It's obvious u r frustrated. I can help u.

NoToPile:
@bolded really!!!

It's like 'Get out of my house' is a common phrase among nairaland married men the way I keep reading 'he didn't mean it' he didn't mean it' and it's so annoying.

That statement is wrong simple

Which kind of joke is that.

Did u know......

Long lasting Married couples av heard worse??

D thing is, dey shld jst let go of d pride & ego infesting
in der marriage.

I strongly believe d issue wil be resolved amongst dem, Remember frm d first post wer d wife complained,

she pointed out smtin dat i pin pointed; dat her husband is a good man.

So therefore, i strongly believe peace cn hover in der home again except, it is bn handled wit carelessness n den blows out of proportion which might lead to divorce.

JoannaSedley:
Stop projecting your failed relationship to me please. I am not the one creating thread all over town cos of my "fiancé". Whining every chance I got of my fiance being too opinionated and expressive. .
An already failed marriage is what you are trying to salvage?. He he he. The man left his family and you are pointing your shrivelled guitar fingers on the woman. Be factual. The marriage was doomed the moment the husband told the wife to get out of his "house" and got the shocker of his life.

Please whatever you do, leave guitar strings out of this . I play and my fingers are as fresh as a baby's

Na wao, mr husband u mean shaa. Pls pull off ur pride and arrogance and fix ur marriage. I don’t pray to be with a selfish man as u.

Oga, I have read both you and HeSeesAll's post.

I agree that truly, you are letting your pride get the better of you.

When you told her to get out, did you not think of how she would feel knowing that the same house was built in her sweat?

How would you expect her to feel if you actually said that you are the house owner?

You are not even demanding for shared ownership, you are asking for The Whole, The Whole!!!!

Would you do it if you were in her shoes?

Don't even bring the "because I am man" leg, because it would defeat your earlier claim of gunning for equality in Marriage.

Asking to transfer the house solely to your name when you know she built the house in her own sweat and money is OPPRESSION. You want to use it as a means to subjugate her, and it is utterly wicked of you to think that way.

If you wont return, fine and good. But be ready to explain to your 21st century children that the reason you took them away from their mom is because she wouldn't transfer a property she built with her sweat and money to your name solely....not even shared, but to your name only.

Oga....
I reserve my remaining comment.

pocohantas:
If that house wasn't in that woman's name, by now she will be on her knees with her whole family begging this man. FACT!

But they are sti begging even with the house. Shey him don free her with the house. Wetin again?

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

And am sure you'll commit suicide the they your wife becomes the bread winner for 30mins

MizMyColi:
Oga, I have read both you and HeSeesAll's post.

I agree that truly, you are letting your pride get the better of you.

When you told her to get out, did you not think of how she would feel knowing that the same house was built in her sweat?

How would you expect her to feel if you actually said that you are the house owner?

You are not even demanding for shared ownership, you are asking for The Whole, The Whole!!!!

Would you do it if you were in her shoes?

Don't even bring the "because I am man" leg, because it would defeat your earlier claim of gunning for equality in Marriage.

Asking to transfer the house solely to your name when you know she built the house in her own sweat and money is OPPRESSION. You want to use it as a means to subjugate her, and it is utterly wicked of you to think that way.

If you wont return, fine and good. But be ready to explain to your 21st century children that the reason you took them away from their mom is because she wouldn't transfer a property she built with her sweat and money to your name solely....not even shared, but to your name only.

Oga....
I reserve my remaining comment.

But she has been abusing him, accusing him of infidelity. Do u know how it feels?

JoannaSedley:
This is exactly what she wrote. There is no true story here.

Your ego has destroyed your home oga.

I wish she would woman up and divorce your sorry as.as.

I hope you have divorced your abusive husband?

Processor01:
1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

So true. The man's has a gigantic pride and the wife knows this. A mistake has been made and she offers to correct it but it has to be his way or nothing, no middle ground at all. Oga ur pride go kill u

spongeisback:
She did say what he used his part of the money for.

Not everybody have the luxury of time to read through the thread.

She should have included that in the initial write up instead.

That way people can see it the way it is..

What I said is still unchanged.. Still should have considered the happenings as at that time & consider the situation on ground.

declaro:
I hope you have divorced your abusive husband?

For where.. She dey shag am now sef.

Ziggylady:
@op your wife said the same thing you are claiming to 'expose' ..You are really a very wicked,proud and self-centred fellow from your write-up....Your wife was wise enough to put her name on a project she clearly contributed more to,that is why your 'leave-my-house threats suddenly became a joke..

.Your subsequent insistance on her changing the names on the papers to yours ALONE smacks iof massive fraud
As in eh.. His post speaks much abt his arrogance and pride. His wife forsaw this and acted accordingly.

Grow up and go fix your martiage..stop trying to distabilise the life of your kids!

Abeg tell him o.

yettymuse:
.you must think the next woman is made in heaven yea?? If you think there is any fish remaining in life's ocean, Oga na abolo fish remain. Drop your bleeping ego and go back to your woman! Your kind of man makes it difficult for a woman to thrive and be successful staying married!..

Who jokes with "pack your bags and get out of my house"? Your balls were crushed and splashed all over the place when you got the shocker of your life...when the damn table was turned.

Tueh!!! Double Tueh on you! Look at you coming here to counter a thread! You need this woman to fix a lotta ish in your life mehn! You have a woman that understands what owning a property means and you want to let her go because of your stupid selfish interests I pity you because you go pay
rent till you die!... You think say one hand dey clap make anybody hear? Olorigbigbe!

Nonsense and stupid pride... Arggghhhhhh!

TheKingIsHere:
Neither did she tell the whole truth.

I see no difference in their posts by interpretation. The only difference is the choice of words used.

Homeboiy:
op your a man

when I read her story, I couldn't comment because her story no add up

pride is all I saw in her story

Attach the link of her story here so that others can read and judge

So you think the man is right.
For me he was wrong from the beginning.
He planted fear in his wife, not trust.
Read his story very well, they contributed equally for a business, no problem with that.
Shared the profit, .. Why should a husband and wife be sharing money , what happens to joint account.
He used his own profit for his father's treatment and building of house for his parents,...
His wife did what she thought was right with her own money.
My opinion, they are not husband and wife but living room mates,
Her husband shouldn't have brought the idea of sharing the money, because they are one.
A wife should be submissive to her husband,
She was married into that family, automatically, his family is her family too, the house she built should have carried Mr and Mrs.

I laugh whenever single men and women rush to comment on marital issues here.

The woman said here on her thread that the husband is not a bad man, she said the husband takes care of the family.

If the man used his own share of the money to take care of his in-laws(the wife's mother ,father or siblings) Which most men do always..... The wife would have Been happy.

Now it is used for his own parents ,The wife sees it as him squandering his own share or maybe she suspect he used part of it on women.

In this Situation, Some wives will never accept the husband to use only his own share to take care of his sick parent,a good wife will also want to take part of her share to also assist in that regard.
What if its her own parent that is ill and needed immediate attention? Will the man be building a house while his mother in-law or father in-law is ill and needed immediate attention?

Why should a married woman not care for her husband mother or father? Even the point of illness? Because if she cares,She won't be saying the husband used his own share of the money to take care of his parents.
What is the nonsense of his own money and my own money? In Marriage? Kids should stop getting married.

The woman has been planning something for long.

Oga,I will advice you to forgive her ,I read her thread and know she is one them with that type of mouth,oversabi,and 20th century women,They are always the victim when it gets bad .

Forgive her,take your kids along with your wife,move away from the house so both of you can reason together.

No need of changing the documents to your name,I believe you never did anything wrong by taking care of your parents which I believe even if its your wife's parents that needs urgent attention, You would have done same.
You will be blessed to build another soon,be happy pls.

Women are different, some are learned and receive fat salaries but still know what respect and trust means in marriage.

You see men drinking alcohol every evening, its not all of them are just drinking for the sake of it...some just don't want to argue or fight in the house when the woman starts talking, they just go out to cool off.

Thanks.

Biglittlelois:
Abi nah the name he dey call am for house

he wanted to say devil

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

bro so u both did a biz shared d profit 50/50 u used yours for 1 your dads health 2 your parents house 3 d rest to complete the house while she sunk all her share into the house, its a fact you own a stake in d house even if it's only One naira you invested but far from it both of you are very stupid n immature.

Acidosis:
You're wrong, the idea of having "my house" and "your house" in a so called marriage fast tracked the separation. The more you have things in common with your spouse (includes joint investments, businesses, love, kids, sex, even eating together), the more difficult it is to separate. Marriage is all about togetherness, marriage has its own principles.

All these women who kill their husbands to inherit things nkọ?