₦airaland Forum

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

he made a mistake !!

he was a nice guy

ur story is not so unique , it happens when a guy is nice and loving and kind , all that sh!t u said he is ,
women say they want that but they don't !
as u can see from ur story , he's the best but still u don't find him attractive !!

anyways here's what ur gonna do ,ur gonna tell him "let's just be friends"

banishing him to the friend zone for all of eternity and beyond
simple !!
u can't kill urself

xpac01:
Wrong.

From the tone of your message I can easily decipher that you actually love (having strong affection for) the guy, just that you don't have any romantic feelings towards him. This is actually natural just that some nice guys never still get this.

Please don't just look him in the eyes and spill those I don't love you words to him. It will break him badly. He must be a nice guy who simply thought that by the what the boh of you have been together you'll simply say yes to his proposals.

Try explaining your own feelings to him.
Ask him what exactly he wants. And tell him how difficult it is for the both of you to go across the other side of the river in your relationship with him. Tell him calmly, with love and with all sincerity. Don't even try telling him you're thinking about it. Be firm, gentle and definite with your response. IT IS NOT JUST GOING TO WORK.

I have actually been in your shoes as a guy.


He will understand I am sure.

you just kill it bros, i like ur response

Draei:
Seems this one is mentally unstable. A guy with all the good qualities you mentioned isn't good enough for you to date?

But you rather prefer wasting your time with another niggur that ain't even half as caring as he is?

Total bullshiit, some girls need their brains to be examined one after the other. It's pointless saying more to the Op.

no guy it's not her fault her friend didn't play his cards right

he was the " nice guy"
it's natural he'll get friend zoned

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

After seeing how ugly u look i've got to agree with u on the"he wasted his time n resources on ". Like whc guy in his ryt senses will woo a lady for 3hrs without a responds I still believe this is stolen trailer expecting to watch d full movie on African Magic. Nothing girls of nowadays no go tell us so that their tori go trend. He wooed me for 3hrs(if only u know hw dis talk dey vex me) Sister r u Jesus christu deserve a capital MTCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

the guy wan collect AKA he just want to knack

y'all won't kill me with laugh... anyway I think he genuinely loves you... and I have been in that same position... all my bestie did was laugh it off.. I got over that feeling after like 3days..ps we have been besties now for 7yrs�

All i know is that the AMU u runaway from today shall damage ur otu without mercy in the nearest future n leave it for another innocent AMU to inherit. D gods have spoken

This story na home video am sure it's in Bolly wood, 4 years kwa... 3 hours to express your love abeg say something more interesting sis, but your write up is nice...

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

You want to eat you cake and have it abi?


You nor get sympathy?

you've answer the question yourself already op, his love is written over you now


for the guy, if you have examined him that he's not a player and he's not seeing other lady then I don't see anything bad in his request


he never please u with lies, like he scold you when u are wrong. help with academics, if he's single after you've thoroughly examined him then his request is not bad



just be rest assured all his assistance all this while is not banking of self advantage now that's he's passing out. I'll suggest you tell him to give you some time to give it a thought and see his reaction. his reaction would justify if he actually meant that he loves u

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

My blunt advise is to date him because that's someone you trust... You have dated other guys that you didn't trust this much and all failed (I assume you're now meaning you only have exes) but dating this guy has to come with condition that he doesn't use your old words against you.

But logically since you say you don't love him then don't date him because no relationship should be forced or done out of pity...

This kinda relationships end up being the best but the guy might be a great actor who has acted for 4 years waiting for you to say yes and then the savage him comes out...

But either way, the relationship between both of you has changed; either you say yes and it evolves or you say no and it ends

My fiancé am planning to settle down with was my close friend of many years. We started as friend from 2007 until 2017. We talked about the feelings and here we are

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

You have to choose one because you cannot keep dodging. Please, release him and let him be. The truth is, it would hurt him if you keep being friends and you are dating someone else.

Can't say much

Why do most people assume the guy waited for 4 years. There's a huge probability that he also dated alot of slaymamas until hin start to dey ask himself, why hin dey chase all this others girls when the girl that he already knows and trust inside-out is available. When two people are that close, one person will definitely develop feelings at some point. Its possible baba just started catching feelings in his final year when long term goals and maturity started setting in.

Ahhhhhh

Be very careful how you treat your towel.

The side that dried your ass today might find its way into your mouth tomorrow.

Treat people well

ritylove:
i wish it was as easy as you said it then i wont be sharing it here

If you don't take time, you will regret ever saying no to him.

I'm still regretting mine

besties with a man doesnt work....

d guy go dey soapy o.
me female fwend uni
i dey mental.
na to fuc dem hard
move ahead

Is Good to be Good but on a serious note some girl need Jesus, a precise Guy with good qualities, lovely and caring young man is what every young lady is pray for.. so at this point in time you just found one then what are you waiting for dear?

ehhhhhhhhhh?

do something before that guy go change am for you
Oooo if i may ask

what is Bestie


he was just scared of saying it out to you joor

Earthbound:
I don't know which is more stupid. Waiting four years to tell a girl you like her or spending three hours professing your love without action.


Ritylove, you can learn to love him. You trust him already so it should be easy. Give it a try. It just might be the best decision you ever made.

the bolded @ Ritylove

I'm definitely turning this into a novella. Thanks OP for sharing this.

oladikenie:
pray about it

Prayer nor b her ans now tho
She just said she nor love d guy..

Nnaabros:
You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what he really wants.

The guy fall hand fa.

He could have dated this girl kia kia that same first year as they just got close. Imagine following the girl around while other bad, possibly irresponsible smooth talkers, were getting the juices. I wonder how he handled that poo.

As soon as you have got too close to a girl, consider her a no-go area. Instead connect her to a very good friend or cousin of yours. That should keep you off her finally.

I have only ever seen such a behaviour with oyinbo boys.

@OP, as long as you didn't tell him where you buried the body of a murder victim (pun intended), whatever he knows about you is irrelevant. Do not date him out of gratitude. You will both end up unhappy. Losing a great friendship along with it.

Sit him down and tell him you honestly adore him and he deserves the best woman on God's earth, but you are not the one. That he occupies the place of a loving dear big brother in your heart. That you look up to him in that manner.

Oh girl you sef wicked o. You just mega friend-zoned a great guy for so long. Making him the King of Friendzone Land.
And you didn't get all the subtle signals of love all this while & no girlfriend?

hmmm

You must be sick. Don't you know what you want? Go for her or you let her go. This shouldn't come as a news. Now u will ask that I like to eat Ewedu should I eat it? Nonsense

LordsApostle:
that is whey u were laughing when I asked u to send me a message abi? Now I understand better...
Anyway, just so u know, me no dey for all those stupid childish play.. If I'm down for u, I tell u Wat I want, if u gree fine, if u no gree u simply fvck out of my life, no time to waste on anybody my dear...

The Apostle has spoken. lol!

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

Looooooollllll.... If I had a dollar for every time I've seen this scenario play before my eyes, I'd surely be a millionaire by now.

Little girl, what do you know about love?

Move closer let me tell you something... That guy is your soulmate.

What are the chances that you'll ever meet another guy whom you can confide in as much as you do in him? Maybe one in a billion chance.

Are you willing to take that chance?

You are confusing romance with love.

True love has got nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with the will.

There's nothing better than dating and marrying your best friend.

He already sees your weaknesses and still loves you.

You better hold him fast.

Don't wait until you've been maltreated by other guys before realizing your mistake. By then it'll be too late.

All the best.

Friendzone d world most dreaded zone.ladies in a man's world there's nothing like "bestie".is either d man doesn't find u attractive or is looking 4an opportunity to make a move,that zone is 4weak guys though

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Sincerely speaking, try and maintain friendship because having a love relationship with him will not work out. 4 years is too long to zoned someone as a friend. The conversion to boyfriend is possible but not always rewarding. Some are just best as friends.

Nnaabros:
You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what he really wants.

To be honest,you said it all.....
I keep asking the same question......What do some ladies really want in a guy?

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

Come this nwa Abia state you Don come again Abia?