₦airaland Forum

You said it all.

Ioannes:
Looooooollllll.... If I had a dollar for every time I've seen this scenario play before my eyes, I'd surely be a millionaire by now.

Little girl, what do you know about love?

Move closer let me tell you something... That guy is your soulmate.

What are the chances that you'll ever meet another guy whom you can confide in as much as you do in him? Maybe one in a billion chance.

Are you willing to take that chance?

You are confusing romance with love.

True love has got nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with the will.

There's nothing better than dating and marrying your best friend.

He already sees your weaknesses and still loves you.

You better hold him fast.

Don't wait until you've been maltreated by other guys before realizing your mistake. By then it'll be too late.

All the best.

lilmax:
from what I gathered from this crap

he's not very intelligent, during my days of this bestie thing, I used girls like tissue,they are so vurnerable.... but I don change



well now we know why girls are being treated like trash.....

who ate your brain?

lilmax:
from what I gathered from this crap

he's not very intelligent, during my days of this bestie thing, I used girls like tissue,they are so vurnerable.... but I don change



well now we know why girls are being treated like trash.....

who ate your brain?

[color=#990000][/color]

samysmoothfresh:
"............after hearing him speak for almost 3hours........"


babe that guy must really love you o..........................3 hours?..........................seriously?
........what did he say in particular that lasted almost 3hours?
Best comment ever


"................he's the nicest guy i've ever met........"



this is why some ladies will forever remain dumb, heartbroken, frustrated and single
God has given you "the nicest guy you've ever met", instead of you to grab him now, you dey ask stupid question


later when you meet a yoruba demon, you'll (and your fellow women) start screaming and wailing "men are scum"



"...............this is a guy that waited 4yrs to ask me out......"


aunty, he is not a "guy" cos no real guy will wait 4yrs to ask a lady out


he,(your bestie) is simply a pùssy



".........he knows too much & might use it against me one way or......."



hahahahaha...........SMH



& lastly, this is a nice script / story.


where did you get it from?

Next2Bezee:
To summarize: a guy who you see as nothing more than an invaluable friend is asking you out, but you have zero feelings for him, except friendship.

Advice: Man up, or rather woman up, and tell him the truth. If he's really your best friend, he can stay despite not dating you. if not, he will leave. However, be sure that you aren't playing down how much he means to you. If you can't handle life without him or don't know any other guys out there better than him, you will lose a great guy forever.

My advice is to you is that if you really consider him unique, give him a chance and see if you'll fall for him. Only reject him or keep him waiting if you know that you can handle life without him.

Goodluck.

You can handle life Without anyone.....no one is Indispensable!!!.

Nothwithstanding, as said earlier and as this guy says, you should give the guy a chance....Learn to love him, not out of pity, or fear of hurting his feelings, but genuinely, I swear I understand you, it's hard to do, but, same way u learnt to love/develop feelings for the other guys you ve dated, Try with this one.....Try not to only see him as a 'bestfriend', but also see him as a 'lover' and try to attach some romance/sexuality to the way you see him.... A lot of 'TRYs' i know but...........you never know till you 'TRY' right? and also most importantly talk to him about it... that he should give you time to 'learn to love him the 'right' way, u get Wah im sayin yea!...........

Eventually if after all the Trying and still, you don't find that 'connection' with him, then babe, you move on......as hard as it may be for him and you, you both move on!

But not until you Genuinely Try!

Afterall, they say 'the best marriages happen between best friends'...

Goodluck

He has presented himself as a brother and as a father to you.
Don't date him it's an abomination .
Boys will never learn once you care too much or be there for her always you loose your value and she gives you the friend zone badge.

This makes you wonder what we ladies want sef!

1. If the guy had made advances from the onset, would you have dated him or would you have tag him as taking advantage of you?

2. Would you rather date someone who is intolerant of your excesses or one who does?

3. Would you end up marrying someone you never courted for long or one who courted you and popped the question at the best/right time?

4. Would you rather date/marry someone who is interested in seeing you grow than one who careless?

5. How old are you? 20-25 years? This age bracket are usually the age we are crazy and behave like you're doing

6. What are your long term plans in terms of love and relationship? Hope you're not one of those feminist shaaa

7. This guy is graduating soon, would you rather not date someone who is about to get a good job? I'm sure he's a scholar and should graduate with flying colors. Be part of his life as he had become part of yours. Don't be deceived... He's a rare gem grab him fast.

Anyway, in case you're not interested please PM his details OK? Safe dear.

I will advice you watch Acrimony 2018 movie by Tyler Perry. Your ultimate answers lie in there.

Just to give you a clue - the guy had courted you all these years and had now popped the question 'will you marry me' albeit without a ring! Many girl out there jumping from one guy to the other waiting and longing for this moment you just had..... Don't lose it!

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Nnaabros:
You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what he really wants.

He has been friend zone and it will be very hard if not impossible to get out of that zone

Dear Rita,
I had to request for password reset because I only read but I have not commented for over 2 years now.

Candid Opinion from me to U, Marry your friend and u will forever be happy.

U will also be happy if u sincerely refuse him but U should not be jealous when he transfer all d attention to anoda lady. u will feel empty and lonely for a while but u will get over it.

The most mature advice in reply to this. ��

xpac01:
Wrong.

From the tone of your message I can easily decipher that you actually love (having strong affection for) the guy, just that you don't have any romantic feelings towards him. This is actually natural just that some nice guys never still get this.

Please don't just look him in the eyes and spill those I don't love you words to him. It will break him badly. He must be a nice guy who simply thought that by the what the boh of you have been together you'll simply say yes to his proposals.

Try explaining your own feelings to him.
Ask him what exactly he wants. And tell him how difficult it is for the both of you to go across the other side of the river in your relationship with him. Tell him calmly, with love and with all sincerity. Don't even try telling him you're thinking about it. Be firm, gentle and definite with your response. IT IS NOT JUST GOING TO WORK.

I have actually been in your shoes as a guy.


He will understand I am sure.

formular2002:
Dear Rita,
I had to request for password reset because I only read but I have not commented for over 2 years now.

Candid Opinion from me to U, Marry your friend and u will forever be happy.

U will also be happy if u sincerely refuse him but U should not be jealous when he transfer all d attention to anoda lady. u will feel empty and lonely for a while but u will get over it.

Gbammest

But chances are she will refuse the guy and regret it deeply later.. I dunno but it's natural for Gals to refuse guys like this and appreciate them later.. Now it's either she learns from the older ones or go through the process so she could warn the incoming inexperience ones as well...

I was friends with some girls in school...one even works at KPMG now, she doesn't even talk to me again... people wey I suppose don nack.

The better you treat a girl, the lower your chances of having her. That's the inalienable truth. Girls would leave the guys who truly love them, who know all their secrets and still love them, guys who dote on them and sticks to them... they'll say "they don't have that feeling" for them. But they'd run after a sleek bad niccur that will drill their hole and dump them. Those are the ones the "have that feeling for"
Dem no dey tell person...the guy would eventually meet someone who appreciates his goodness and then you'll meet those guys you desire...

eph12:
The poor guy probably hasn't been able to date others because you have occupied all the space. He is the victim here. Release him abeg so he can focus on better girls elsewhere.

exactly!

I want to give advice on this issue but I feel more inclined to gloat than drop meaningful bombs.

This situation is why I distanced myself from girls. I only do oloshos now, pay and go without headaches. I was about to fall into this friendzone thing not too long ago. Na so I quickly dismiss the stupid girl and became an admirer from afar. She can keep her precious vagina to herself, my preek only wants easy work.

lilmax:
from what I gathered from this crap

he's not very intelligent, during my days of this bestie thing, I used girls like tissue,they are so vurnerable.... but I don change



well now we know why girls are being treated like trash.....

I doubt say u don change....

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual...

Tell him to give you time. If he really loves you, he WILL.

When he does, I know he will, consider YOUR FUTURE, not what people will think, not what people would say.

Ask yourself salient questions:

- Is he the kind of man I can spend the rest of my life with?
- Is he God fearing?
- Will he CARE for me?
- Does he have Prospects, Vision for his future?
- Is he actively working towards those visions?

If you answer in the affirmative to the above questions, you may need to accept his 'dating' proposal, but with a caveat that it would be on probation.

For a union like this, I would advice you defer, delay and postpone sex till wedding night (I'm a married man...please trust me on this)

Look, you don't have to 'love' him immediately. Two of the longest marriages in Nollywood (Omotola and Captain Ekeinde & Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva) did not start with 'love' in the conventional sense.

In both cases, both husbands took the bold leap before each of the women knew them fully, talk-less of have feelings for them.

Today, their marriage and union is unshakable.

Let the Spirit guide you.

okwabayi:
I want to give advice on this issue but I feel more inclined to gloat than drop meaningful bombs.

This situation is why I distanced myself from girls. I only do oloshos now, pay and go without headaches. I was about to fall into this friendzone thing not too long ago. Na so I quickly dismiss the stupid girl and became an admirer from afar. She can keep her precious vagina to herself, my preek only wants easy work.

hahahaha! I have picked up more advice from this thread than even the OP herself.

generationz:
please stop telling anybody everything about yourself. its dangerous.



aren't we told to marry our Best friends?



I see this as a result of your immaturity (no offense dear) you are still in the university , by the time you graduate and date more guys you'll realize that not all that glitters is gold.


There's a difference between an Hollywood movie script/ mills and boons novels and reality

this. my dear is reality


when a person becomes too available and ' too there' for us they become undesirable

The guy made a mistake in the art of seduction 101


Right now because of the love he has shown you and his over availability there's nothing left to the imagination again instead of seeing him as Romeo you see him as the elder brother you never had.

if a man can know all your trash and nonsense, good and bad , and after four years still say girl I love you then that man truly loves you.



tell me dear


his he ugly, perhaps you are attracted to handsome guys

his he short? perhaps you are attracted to tall guys

his he poor ? perhaps you are attracted to rich guys

his he soft ? perhaps you are attracted to bad guys.


during those four years has he had a girlfriend? because I know we ladies love guys who many
girls want for one reason or the other. its not our fault but a thing of genetics and desirability.




I know your dilemma . He doesn't fulfil your desire in a man.

Seriously how couldn't you see a guy likes you withing four years of knowing him. if its me within a few days of knowing someone I'll know if he likes me,is a players or doesn't even like me.


its in the words, the extra care, the eyes ,the body language etc.



please don't date anyone out of pity


with the time you are taking to think about it , change your thinking pattern . Ask for more time off if its possible. Tell him the time off is for you to make a sound judgement devoid of emotions.



maybe it will even be all through his exams and his final year project so he can focus on that.


not seeing him can make you desire him more.

now reconfigure your brain. start seeing him as a man you can spend your life with . think of how good he has been to you and compare him to your exes in each aspect. see him as desirable too.


If you both were lost on an island and he was the only man there for you to procreate with will you do it? your first reaction to this (in your brain) will tell if there's even a slim chance of being with him.

love isn't a mushy feeling o


love is in action. The mushy feeling you have for someone you just met is infatuations.

eg we love our parents a lot and appreciate them. that doesn't mean every time we see them we have butterflies in our bellies.


so to help yourself you must reconfigure your brain.


it would be a shame if after rejecting him you realize after many years that you should have accepted him and it's too late. I've heard too many stories like this.


trust me attraction is secondary when it comes to choosing a life partner.

the important things include

His spiritual life ( if you are spiritual)

can he take care of you (not only materially ,but emotionally and maybe spiritually ,)

his genotype

his family background . this is very important because if at the end of it all both families don't approve then relationship don scatter be dat. you must know if his family is one you can be married into.


If he ticks all these buttons please hold on to him o finding someone that meets everything like this is rare.

Thanks for your points or advice, however you didn't mention character traits like kindness, integrity etc. Is it just about the person spiritual life? Reply please.

LordsApostle:
U are the only reasonable guybon this thread, in short, in the whole of nairaland... Don't mind foolish boiz that will never learn.. Women are selfish beings that is how they were created, it will be foolishness to want to further enrich that greedbof theirs... The way it is with me now, I set the records straight, what I want, u give me, cool, IJ can't give me, I leave u and go my way, and u dare not come close, be use I'll block everything and delete everything about u from me... So that's how I roll now.. Funny enough, I happen to be getting nice females now, very lovely selfless females around me, because I have discarded the useless greedy things around me, and sieve the reasonable usefulones out.. Guys should learn to learn, girls are greedy bitches that worth nothing, don't give your all for them, cause they ll never appreciate.
I bet she doesn't like that guy because she feels he doesn't have enough cash, and maybe a car and good house , so. He can carry her foolish smelly prostituting ass around school.. Useless Girls everywhere.. She will most definitely be a runs girl sef, selling her pussy for money; it. Is their greedy ass that is characteristic of this kinda behaviours , stupid selfish girl..
Mtcheew!!!

You saved me a lot of typing. And honestly you just said my mind. You deserve this..

Heartbender:
Don't date him. How can he wait for 4 years (a full political tenure) to tell you his feelings. Baba can plot your skull mining and you will escort him to the babalawo innocently




In other news, date me. I like woman, I dey straightforward.

With this your moniker... Heartbender! I hear you oh. You go just bend the girl heart go one corner!

What was his aim for asking the girl out
If she says Yes to him, what special / new thing would he be doing for you apart from the ones from back?

I too trust myself. Me wey dey date girls without even wooing. After I might have done more harm to their punnany, they are always like 'Adebowale, what am I to you'. � � � �

Stop being a nice guy.
Girls, if I'm not fuckingg you then you have no business being around me.

The guy na Ogbono, draw matter for 4years raise to power 3 hours.
Both of you are fooooools.

Just say 'Yes", every other thing will fall in place.

you friendzoned a pussy starved guy for 4yrs which is a political tenure ? The guy was born without game and should double up as soon as possible.

samysmoothfresh:
"............after hearing him speak for almost 3hours........"


babe that guy must really love you o..........................3 hours?..........................seriously?
........what did he say in particular that lasted almost 3hours?



"................he's the nicest guy i've ever met........"



this is why some ladies will forever remain dumb, heartbroken, frustrated and single
God has given you "the nicest guy you've ever met", instead of you to grab him now, you dey ask stupid question


later when you meet a yoruba demon, you'll (and your fellow women) start screaming and wailing "men are scum"



"...............this is a guy that waited 4yrs to ask me out......"


aunty, he is not a "guy" cos no real guy will wait 4yrs to ask a lady out


he,(your bestie) is simply a pùssy



".........he knows too much & might use it against me one way or......."



hahahahaha...........SMH



& lastly, this is a nice script / story.


where did you get it from?

The guy is just pussy, friend zoned his self and now talking trash. He didn't have to say all this, him for just find way Nak the girl without mercy and everything will take shape.

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic 0improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

I understand the gamut of emotions you're feeling right now.

Truth is, YOU WILL NEED AT LEAST A YEAR AWAY FROM HIM to sort your feelings.

Everything will become clear by then, and all will be revealed.

#experience

Oh well, let me give you a clue..

5 to 10 years down the line, you will realise how idiotic you sound right now
Please save what you posted above and read it loud to yourself whenever you hear of him in the future.
Maybe then you will realise just how much you lost...

The guy shouldn't have asked you out knowing how close you were and he should have use his discerning mind than come straight. I for one hates been turned down in a quest of asking someone out, or jilted in a relationship, so to massage his ego, avoid going direct in answering but Since u failed to answer him that day, say nothing about it anymore except he brings up the issue, then be mature in your response if you feel nothing for him but for one, things would never be same way again. I have this female close friend of mine too who complains of how her bf Beats her, till I told Her to quit, we were very close then, but never felt Like abusing our friendship because Good friendship doesn't always translate to good relationship!

Aarenasbaba:
My fiancé am planning to settle down with was my close friend of many years. We started as friend from 2007 until 2017. We talked about the feelings and here we are

Not all girls are as wise as your woman... 8 in 10 girls will reject a friend. trust me.

@ritylove..

eunisam:
If you don't take time, you will regret ever saying no to him.

I'm still regretting mine

8 in 10 girls regretted... some ended up marrying monsters lol. but do you mind to share your story?

Ioannes:
Looooooollllll.... If I had a dollar for every time I've seen this scenario play before my eyes, I'd surely be a millionaire by now.

Little girl, what do you know about love?

Move closer let me tell you something... That guy is your soulmate.

What are the chances that you'll ever meet another guy whom you can confide in as much as you do in him? Maybe one in a billion chance.

Are you willing to take that chance?

You are confusing romance with love.

True love has got nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with the will.

There's nothing better than dating and marrying your best friend.

He already sees your weaknesses and still loves you.

You better hold him fast.

Don't wait until you've been maltreated by other guys before realizing your mistake. By then it'll be too late.

All the best.

They never learn... they never will.

ritylove:
thankyou very much for this really appreciated

The advice generationz gave you is what you need. Stick to it.

udemzyudex:
He has been friend zone and it will be very hard if not impossible to get out of that zone

You can get out of friendzone by disappearing from her presence for long.

Let me tell you. I have this lady I met on here, I told her what I wanted, even up to "wifeying" her, straight to the point, no games. Talked about her to my friend and my brother... the usual evil spirit descended on her and she called me too emotional, too reactive, too sensitive... and above all desperate. All these because I was too truthful, real and friendly.

Oh well, I sha disappeared from her presence and never called nor text ( she actually asked me to stop these at the peak of a quarrel)... fast forward to almost 3 months of no call, text or buzz from me, my phone rang and it was her. guess what? she was saying I dont call her anymore. I refused to call her still for over 2 weeks now.

The closeness between them is too much and when you are too available, this is what you get.

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Love is not just about romantic feeling... If you cannot date your bestie, you think your enemy is any better.

If he didn't use any of your secrets against you in 4yrs, what gives you the impression that he ll start when you start dating him. Your reason for not dating him is based on not having romantic affection for him. Relationship is way more than that anyway

Love is more than romantic and emotional expression,love is complex,it has no specific definition.The only way to understand love is to understand God.No doubt this guy is in love with you but you feel otherwise even with all his care and sacrifices he makes for you.Do you have presently someone,I mean a guy in your life who is as caring and committed as this guy?Sometimes love takes time to be built up although you people have been together for years but you never knew that he loves you all this while because perhaps your mind was set on just being platonic.There is no better way to still tell to him that you are not in love with him no matter how polite you may be that he will understand because I am speaking from practical experience.If you don't love him you just have to break the ice early enough so that he could have time to go through the moment of hurt and move on.I once had a similar experience when the girl summoned encourage to tell me I felt hurt and never believed but still feeling that she would reconsider her position but she never did but thank God after sometimes I got over it.I sometimes ask what does it take to love?But the answer I have got so far is,God is love,you can never understand true love until you understand God.