₦airaland Forum

Saff:
The level of entitlement on this thread is alarming.

my luv.
We're HV u bin?

But pple in abroad r too stingy

Some people are just ungrateful

op move on, life is like that at times because in one way or the other we all have a friend or sibling that lives abroad who we somehow look up to yet they dissapoint even though they are still living large and wealthy too

I don't initiate chat with my friend who's abroad and has vehemently refused to say hi to me except I do

move on

adonainana:
Leave them baba, i dont think people understand how tough life can be in the UK.
Yes you earn a lot of money ( but the mistake people make is that you are not earning this in Naira, everyone is easy to do the conversion for you 500 Naira to £1, so if you earn £1,000 every month which is the minimum wage, suddenly you have 500,000 Naira in your Nigerian Bank account.

What takes the £1,000 away, they dont care and they dont wish to know, even if you explain to them, they are unbothered.

Life anywhere abroad is hard. It is hard because bills are expensive and therefore consume up to 50 percent of anyone earnings. Once this happens the remaining that is left is what the person would wish to use to enjoy his life too in the UK or anywhere abroad too. Even Primark that sells cheap clothes, there isnt much quality things you can buy there. Typical shopping might cost about a £100

Even if you later even decide to go to other discout shops like Lidl or Aldl to buy food, its still the same ( Typical £20 here £30 there ) The £1000 you earn in that month is gone.

Now please people of God, imagining after all of these, someone from Nigeria asks you to send money to them. From what again ?

This is what people in Nigeria fail to understand, people abroad change cos there are just about BROKE as you, and im 100 percent being serious with you.

And what do some use the money for? Private school for the kids, flex at joint, carry ashawo.

To even add a bit more to this, what is the opinion of those in the villages/rural areas on those 'making it' in Lagos, Abuja etc

I'm asking because I know that rural people also complain about city people so I don't know why city people are vexing for overseas people after all their oppression of rural people - another Christmas is here, just watch the oppression

Do not expect your friend(s) that left the country to respond swiftly to your messages. Sometimes they could see the messages and would be marked 'read' but the time to respond wouldn't be there.

He may not be avoiding you. He simply may not have the free time to respond to your messages. He probably threatened to block you because you were persistent at sending these messages and it annoyed him, which may be temporary.

Why am I saying this? I'm currently in the same shoe right now. I do see messages from relatives and friends but not always free to respond to them. Some think it is pride, others attached separate reasons. But to me, I didn't see it as such.

Baba, time na money! Everyone attach different values to time.

Come to think of it, it seems you were expecting something in return by giving him your winter coat and other stuffs. At least, that could be deduced from your post. Else, I didn't see any reason why you should take it serious.

Cas1741:
Most of you responding miss the point, the guy is not asking for money, at least not apparent for now. Nothing wrong with a brother whom you assisted whether it is financial or moral, to say, "bro, I arrived safely, thank you for everything, I will keep in touch." You don't need all the time or money in this world to show appreciation. Those shoes and jacket may not be pricy or fashionable but they served a significant purpose at that time, it was also a sacrifice that the giver had no obligation to do. I assisted a cousin travel to usa one time, did crowd pulling send off party and never heard from him again. When I came here in Canada, we connected briefly when he was going home on a visit. He got me to believe he is a changed man, I sent him my first savings to give to my parents, he took the money, never said a word to them. It is over 20yrs now and am glad we severed the umblical cord of familial relationship for ever. Conversely, I have a wonderful friend who gave helping hands to me morally when I was coming here, we started keeping in touch the very week I arrived even with all the culture shock, stress of one month behind classes and trying to navigate my way around with no relatives. I remember being the only black person in each class I attended, yet, a few mins to say, hello did not take anything away from me. My friend had a good job then, but lost it shortly and has never been lucky with jobs. Yet, we speak to each other at least twice in a month and stay together whenever I am in nig. I sleep in his poorly furnished place because it doesn't matter. His wife onetime cried that she doesn't understand how I could come from Canada, appear to be doing well, come and eat in their leaking kitchen, no light, no air conditioner etc. People baffle at our friendship. Friendship, relationship in general, transcends material things if you care. My friend's son is reading medicine outside Nig. now and I assist financially whenever I can. Yes we are daunted daily with calls for help and nobody asks or cares how you are surviving, still, it doesn't diminish the basic human decency. There is a maxim that says: "be kind to those you meet going up because you may meet them again on your way coming down". It doesn't take much to be a good person regardless of your circumstances, it takes a lot to be a bad person, unfortunately, some people choose evil over good. His guy had the time to block him instead of acknowledging him, that is pure wrong. No condition is permanent as we say back home. He has time to send money to a girlfriend (nothing wrong with that), but has no time for a few mins pleasantries with a relative, pure wrong.

God bless ur heart bro,,,,,,we. Need to understand d meaning of friendship first

handsomeyitayo:
There was this brother of mine who is my landlord then during my school days. He told me he needed to travel out of the country, though his junior sister stays in London, he wanted to use that influence to travel out.

The day came when he is about going, he got his visa, he showed me and he said to me if he gets there that he will not disappoint me that I should not worry ...

Though he is managing too, his sister sent him money for travelling and processing of the visa. He told me to dash him my suit and winter coat also one of my shoe of which I did. He is very local and not sociable.. It was the suit I gave him and my shoe he wore to UK.

When he got to UK, two Months later I heard that he sent money to his girlfriend and that one is just fuckinng around.

Fastfoward to this time i sent him messages on Facebook just to say hi and to know hope he is doing well. He did not reply but he saw my messages. Llater again I resend him message he told me that he will block me. He pretended as if he doesn't know me. This is the brother that do borrow Maggie and salt whenever he wants to cook or even beg me for soup.....

My intention is to greet him not demanding money from him. But now is it a crime to say hello because you stay in UK or Yankee? I don't know why people staying abroad always change their attitude whenever they travel out of the country.....

Please Share your experiences

prove it that u just greeted him and did not bother him for cash...You guys just bother these dudes to the point of insanity meanwhile they are also trying to make mea int of their lives a road.

Expect nothing from anybody.

EgunMogaji:
Just this year I’ve been asked for help by up to 15 total strangers on here and three fools on Twitter.

I mean stone cold and complete total stranger that I’ve never chatted with.

I do consider myself a mini philanthropist, but I have specific and strict structure that I follow. If you’re on the internet you’ve struck out.

Oya, bless me : another stranger, but loyal

tamethem:
I kuku ma block you so that you will have peace of mind.

By the time your eye don clear and you wan say Hi, I don already block you. .

ericsmith:
you people are just judging matters base on your personality ...
someone you speak with everytime when he was in nigeria, suddenly he travels abroad n buzzing him up after 2weeks becomes a crime ... what da fvck his wrong with you people.
Even if he had ask him for help , how is that a crime, same way he walked up to him n explained he had no shoes & coat without shame, why not explain to him same way you aint bust-up to help ... if he doesnt understand that is his prob.
The only reason the wealth guys remain richer is becos they help one another ... its synonmous to investing in one another ... olamide paid 3m for the video that brought skales back to lime light ..
i also believe in hustle for yourself, nobody owes you shit mantra .. thats y i wonnt even call my 100s of friends to say hello in the 1st place .... but i understand asking for help doesnt make you beggar, as long as you have an objective.
there is no joy greater than seeing ur ordinary 5h or 1k puttin smile on human faces ... its last more than the joy you feel when you cum ..

meanwhile dnnt get it twisted nobody owes you shit not even ur parent ... find the right cliq n hustle hard .... you go dey ok.

Can I join your click and hustle?

handsomeyitayo:
thank you bro..God bless you..one love bro..

You're welcome bro.

adonainana:
The undertone the OP described his experience with suggested that his friends all of a sudden wanted to be familiar with him like he was before. If it had nothing to do with money, the OP would not have raised the issue of him buying him suit to travel or the guy abroad sending money to Nigeria. My points are that people living in Nigeria think their friends, relatives, etc start doing extremely well once they leave Nigerian Shores, and this is the only presumption i chose to rebut. It is clearly not the case

No wonder there are so many scammers and ritual killers in Nigeria. You people think it's always about money. That is the reason I despise Nigerians. Money. Money. Money. There's not a pure relationship among Nigerians. From this thread one can see that all Nigerians are just money hungry opportunists if they think one cannot just want a friendship for the sake of it. No wonder everybody treats you people with caution when you go outside Nigeria. I never knew people were so obsessed with money until I came to Nigeria. It explains the hatred everybody has got Nigeria.

When he begged him for a suit and shoes, it was not money, but when he says hi it means it is money and the UK prices and economy are so tight etc etc. Right. To be unable to say hi is inexcusable. Ingrates are always mean.

handsomeyitayo:
see brother you don't get me am not begging money from him..it has been eight years now ..I just want to say hi to him...he always turn off from Chatting him .. have never ask of money God sees my heart am working so why will I depend on him...my own is to say hi....

Hmm I see you're just trying to create a rapport with the guy the same way you usually did when he was still around but the truth is... It's not gonna happen.

See, you need to understand ur guy orientation don change d moment he entered abroad. Nobi say him sef like ham dat way but he's reasoning dey different with what most pple back home dey always follow ham talk.. Shey persin wey him papers never hold ground well and he won survive make money for another man's land where dem fit just throw ham back home anyhow na one persin go come dey follow ham chat one petty talk.

Even though I agreed with you some folks abroad can be so useless and annoying but let's not reprimand them cuz we never know what demon they facing on the other side.

Just forget ur siut/shoe and expect nothing from him so you won't be disappointed.. Ire oo

Tellemall:
No wonder there are so many scammers and ritual killers in Nigeria. You people think it's always about money. That is the reason I despise Nigerians. Money. Money. Money. There's not a pure relationship among Nigerians. From this thread one can see that all Nigerians are just money hungry opportunists if they think one cannot just want a friendship for the sake of it. No wonder everybody treats you people with caution when you go outside Nigeria. I never knew people were so obsessed with money until I came to Nigeria. It explains the hatred everybody has got Nigeria.

When he begged him for a suit and shoes, it was not money, but when he says hi it means it is money and the UK prices and economy are so tight etc etc. Right. To be unable to say hi is inexcusable. Ingrates are always mean.

You are absolutely right.

Infact that's the only language we understand.

"They" made us what we are.

You might not last long in this country if you try to be virtuous.

I pity this country...

sharpwriter:
Oya, bless me : another stranger, but loyal

The only people I’m helping are the truly impoverished in little cities I grew up in. Those kids/families have no internet access.

If you have internet access then you don’t need me.

There are freelance sites out there.

Donbasi:
Lol bros the things weh de happen here no easy at all

the thing weh dey happen for where? Or want make me feel like u don go London this evening because I see u this afternoon.

I can't believe I spent almost 2 hrs reading comments. Let me share my own story. I had a friend who traveled to Malaysia when I was doing my ND program. Before he traveled I visit him steady in his pharmacy shop where we always talk about football and music. He chats me well when he was there. He came back to Nigeria last December after 2 Years. We still keep in touch once a while via facebook or whatsapp even though I no longer stay in that town.

GavelSlam:
The truth is you guys bother them too much.

2 months might be premature for one to act the way you've described, but it is quite scary how many of you act.

Should he get on Facebook, within minutes, sometimes seconds, he'll get pings and buzzes.

Most times, it's all about what he can send to the "friend".

But he sent money to his girlfriend?...

Meanwhile!

BEHIND EVERY SWEET FOOD, THERE IS A GOOD COOKING SERVICE...CALL ON US NOW!

handsomeyitayo:
There was this brother of mine who is my landlord then during my school days. He told me he needed to travel out of the country, though his junior sister stays in London, he wanted to use that influence to travel out.

The day came when he is about going, he got his visa, he showed me and he said to me if he gets there that he will not disappoint me that I should not worry ...

Though he is managing too, his sister sent him money for travelling and processing of the visa. He told me to dash him my suit and winter coat also one of my shoe of which I did. He is very local and not sociable.. It was the suit I gave him and my shoe he wore to UK.

When he got to UK, two Months later I heard that he sent money to his girlfriend and that one is just fuckinng around.

Fastfoward to this time i sent him messages on Facebook just to say hi and to know hope he is doing well. He did not reply but he saw my messages. Llater again I resend him message he told me that he will block me. He pretended as if he doesn't know me. This is the brother that do borrow Maggie and salt whenever he wants to cook or even beg me for soup.....

My intention is to greet him not demanding money from him. But now is it a crime to say hello because you stay in UK or Yankee? I don't know why people staying abroad always change their attitude whenever they travel out of the country.....

Please Share your experiences

Truth is not everyone.. but most do.

Tellemall:
No wonder there are so many scammers and ritual killers in Nigeria. You people think it's always about money. That is the reason I despise Nigerians. Money. Money. Money. There's not a pure relationship among Nigerians. From this thread one can see that all Nigerians are just money hungry opportunists if they think one cannot just want a friendship for the sake of it. No wonder everybody treats you people with caution when you go outside Nigeria. I never knew people were so obsessed with money until I came to Nigeria. It explains the hatred everybody has got Nigeria.

When he begged him for a suit and shoes, it was not money, but when he says hi it means it is money and the UK prices and economy are so tight etc etc. Right. To be unable to say hi is inexcusable. Ingrates are always mean.

Not all Nigerians please! Get your facts right! I was abt to comment exactly this same thing u just said. It is so unfair for the friend not to reach out to him no matter what

sassysure:
Two months and you are already hyped because he sent money to a non significant person.
When will u guys change.
This is exactly the reason they block u guys or refuse to call.
I'm still waiting for that person that will just end it in exchanging pleasantries.

At two months the guy may not have started work.
The sis is still taking care of him. Sis is yet to recoup back money spent.
You didn't actually help him from your heart.
U helped him with the intention of gaining and was taken aback when he gave something to his girlfriend first before you.

Go and buy another shoe or jacket and stop sounding like an immature kid.

See sense of entitlement already bc you gave him shoe and jacket.
If the girl fucck around like u said, is it your biz?
Amebo

Some will start once you greet them with "na hunger o"
Even that statement sef don dey pain me

It's amazing how Nigerians go to Yankee and their mentality changes... It's terrible! The friend was totally wrong and the OP did not do anything wrong saying hi, the friend is the ungrateful one here. When he was borrowing jacket and shoe , shey he did not know where there was market to gaan buy but when it's to check on someone , it's a difficult thing to do. OP your friend is selfish!!! He ought to check up on you at least. Nigerians abroad will tell you they don't have time but they have time to be calling their girlfriends in Nigeria. Nobody is too busy, and life is not all about money.

Please note this: If your mind is telling you to stay in Nigeria, stay Biko, you can go abroad for vacations, no big deal... Everybody has different destinies. For the fact that your friends are der is not a valid reason that you should be der as well. Discover your purpose for life and stop doing follow follow.As for Me and my Future husband, we shall stay in Nigeria and make impact as much as we can, abroad is for vacations only #shikena... Last last, no place like home

GavelSlam:
The truth is you guys bother them too much.

2 months might be premature for one to act the way you've described, but it is quite scary how many of you act.

Should he get on Facebook, within minutes, sometimes seconds, he'll get pings and buzzes.

Most times, it's all about what he can send to the "friend".

God bless you,prudent one.

carzola:
Hustle your hustle
And focus on your
Focus....

He will come back one
Day begging....

Everything nah owo!!!
You can live in Nigeria
Make enough money
And be feeding him and paying


His bills abroad...

Funny

EgunMogaji:


The only people I’m helping are the truly impoverished in little cities I grew up in. Those kids/families have no internet access.

If you have internet access then you don’t need me.

There are freelance sites out there.

The truly hilarious and annoying ones are those who beg on... Instagram! Someone who can apparently have enough data to browse through Instagram (for hours) would begging for money to "feed" him/herself

Shikena:
It is difficult for you to understand but for some, it is their reality. You are bombarded with calls and messages, 20 calls a day and 19 were about different stories all ending with need for finance for one thing or the other. A friend just got out of the hospital due to a minor workplace injury and his cousin was fighting him on the phone for not picking his calls for 2 days. At the end of the day, it turned out he needed money for his house rent - two days earlier he posted pictures of himself & buddies chopping life in Lagos on Facebook.
I agree that generalization is not good but keep in mind that most of the people abroad were also living at home before they left. It is hard to separate the wheat from the chaff in this situation so most guys just ignore and wait.

I understand u perfectly but ignoring and waiting is far from a reasonable solution.

Make these guys understand. Take ur calls, be on social media as u always av been. Be ur self.

Reasons I never ask anyone for assistance abroad. In fact once u re my friend and u move abroad u will be tired of me cos u will barely hear from me, unless ofcos via comments on social media once in a while. It has to be u calling cos I hate wrong thinking mentality.

itsmeurLady:
Not all Nigerians please! Get your facts right! I was abt to comment exactly this same thing u just said. It is so unfair for the friend not to reach out to him no matter what

All Nigerians love is money. They can kill their own family for money. It's all over Nigerian news. That 19 year old man who killed a little boy, his objective was money.

That is why they're angry at the OP because he values more than money from his friend. Just look at how all the responses are about money. His friend took dear things from him that cost money and he didn't mind but look at how everybody is telling him that he's now after the friends money. Was the friend not after his money and now he's gotten what he wanted the ingrate refuses to just say hi properly.

Nigerian society is demented. Everything is about money. Nigerians called women who.ores but Linda Ikeji is acceptable because of her money. Dangote is an illiterate and they castigate their presidents illiteracy but it is acceptable because one is a billionaire. Lebanese use Nigerians like Shiiit and they don't care since the Lebanese have money. Then they run to the UK where the pounds are the law so they worship white people.

itsmeurLady:
It's amazing how Nigerians go to Yankee and their mentality changes... It's terrible! The friend was totally wrong and the OP did not do anything wrong saying hi, the friend is the ungrateful one here. When he was borrowing jacket and shoe , shey he did not know where there was market to gaan buy but when it's to check on someone , it's a difficult thing to do. OP your friend is selfish!!! He ought to check up on you at least. Nigerians abroad will tell you they don't have time but they have time to be calling their girlfriends in Nigeria. Nobody is too busy, and life is not all about money.

Please note this: If your mind is telling you to stay in Nigeria, stay Biko, you can go abroad for vacations, no big deal... Everybody has different destinies. For the fact that your friends are der is not a valid reason that you should be der as well. Discover your purpose for life and stop doing follow follow.As for Me and my Future husband, we shall stay in Nigeria and make impact as much as we can, abroad is for vacations only #shikena... Last last, no place like home

really I can see the charm in oyinbo land but I can't just imagine me living there that lifestyle is totally not my own.

PDPGuy:
The truly hilarious and annoying ones are those who beg on... Instagram! Someone who can apparently have enough data to browse through Instagram (for hours) would begging for money to "feed" him/herself

I don't believe in black magic, but I know there are things out there.

One morons insistence and persistence led me to believe that he was confident about working me over.

Tellemall:
All Nigerians love is money. They can kill their own family for money. It's all over Nigerian news. That 19 year old man who killed a little boy, his objective was money.

That is why they're angry at the OP because he values more than money from his friend. Just look at how all the responses are about money. His friend took dear things from him that cost money and he didn't mind but look at how everybody is telling him that he's now after the friends money. Was the friend not after his money and now he's gotten what he wanted the ingrate refuses to just say hi properly.

Nigerian society is demented. Everything is about money. Nigerians called women who.ores but Linda Ikeji is acceptable because of her money. Dangote is an illiterate and they castigate their presidents illiteracy but it is acceptable because one is a billionaire. Lebanese use Nigerians like Shiiit and they don't care since the Lebanese have money. Then they run to the UK where the pounds are the law so they worship white people.

I wanted to reply the poster first but i had to pay homage to you formost! Some of the comments here demeaning the poster are appaling.

Earning £1000 working in a UK bank, rent £500.00 bills take a further 400 competing with whites and Indians has stressed me out, favouritism is the order of the day but I dey thankful baba even with the 100 pounds saving left I still send to Nigeria OP my story is that of so many naija people abroad ko so wo and what I have observed is so many blacks are broke many that I speak with as a customer care assistant don't have shingbai in their account they have so many bills on their credit card and loans u should have given ur brother time to get in tune with the mentality of the UK there is a structured way to life abroad