Benito8998:


You had a failed marriage?

A thread for people to talk about bad memories they must have forgotten seem sad to me ...i must not have a failed marriage to feel sad

UCyril:
yeah, but 75% of African man marry to ve children that's the bitter fact. Without children most men will remain single

Very True

MacMkboy:


Taaa!! Gbafuo

i see u ar on oshomole weed ?

MacMkboy:
However, The Nigerian Girls And Ladies I Meet Propel Me To Remain Single. I'm Much Closer To Females Than Males. I Have A Lot Of Lady Friends That Are Very Close To Me --So Close That U Would Think We're In A R/ship. Some Are Extremely Close That They Feel Free To Discuss With Me, The Things They Can't Discuss With Their Boyfriends. Those Discussions Reveal To Me The True Nature Of The Real Person Behind Those Fake Charade Many Girls/Ladies Put Up. And To Be Honest After Those Discussions, I Get Scared Of Wanting To Be Involved In A Romantic Relationship.

Open a thread and start revealing to us those things they tell you

Batholomeu673:

Chiefjosy is available for you baby

Check my signature to migrate to Canada

u ar just everywie lyk mtn Mr man u av swore 2 dupe me


lets see hw it goes

chinyce:


Just like that

Yes o ,just lyk dat!

Earthbound:

What is your relationship status?

Single n searching 4 a mature husband

I never aspire divorce but the way things are going, I may divorce my wife. She never respect me and value her more than me. I m

sonature1:


Stop the pretense.
No marriage or relationship ends with the two parties feeling good about it. Yes, one spouse, who had really given their best to make it work, will be feeling bad about it. More often than not, he/she lives in pangs of regrets.
If what u said actually happened, deep down you know I am right.

And they ar liking ur childish comment, asiri pple here already knw wat brought about d breakup,

it wont come frm my mouth

MacMkboy:
My Parents Are One Reason Why I'd Want To Get Married As Soon As Possible. I Wonder If They Could Have Survived Without Each Other's Support In Their Over 25years Of Marriage. They've Had Their Rough Times, But They Never Allowed It Escalate Beyond 2days And The Older They Get, The Closer They Become.

Awwwwww.... So sweet. This kain thing rare sha

lawman88:
I never aspire divorce but the way things are going, I may divorce my wife. She never respect me and value her more than me. I m

Divorce her ASAP and go for the one that has regards for you

Mine Ended with a bang, literally. Tom and Jerry kinda of sturvs. The only beautiful thing is the lovely kids. No regrets whatever, some are just not meant to be.

fetthu:



Well, that may be your advice for women that want to marry....to marry a "generally good man, loving caring, kind or considerate".

My advice is for men planning on getting married about things that could lead to a failed marriage....
....ofcourse the man has his own share of responsibility and i mentioned a bit of it.....but i tell you....no matter how loving, kind, caring considerate and generally good you are when you marry the wrong partner (vice versa)..... those qualities would be useless......it is meant for a marriage where there is conscious commitment from both sides to make things work and accept responsibility.

Also children is good in a family, but having beautiful children whom you so much love would make a damaged marriage even more painful as those children may have to grow up in an environment that may not be healthy for there development especially where there are frequent ugly conflict between the spouse......its a bitter experience one should try to avoid if possible......and if you are in it already.....& if it is not life threatening yet,......well, you can work it out with your spouse with help from the right people...

NB:Just replying for clarification sake, am not a misogynist and i am not in anyway saying a man should not take/own up to his responsibilities, as a man's character most times triggers negative response from the wife......the focus of my comment was on what a young man could look for( or what could be a red flag). Thank you.

Thanks for the clarification. I just wanted a bit of balance in the whole equation. My worry was that some guys with terrible attitudes and behaviours would read that and think they don't have to improve on themselves and that whatever goes wrong in their marriage is the woman's fault, which is something we see play out all too often. But I get your point now

sonature1:


Stop the pretense.
No marriage or relationship ends with the two parties feeling good about it. Yes, one spouse, who had really given their best to make it work, will be feeling bad about it. More often than not, he/she lives in pangs of regrets.
If what u said actually happened, deep down you know I am right.

No. Some are happy to walk out of their marriage. To them divorce is freedom.

Hed0nist:

He said the advice is for men. He also can't include every possible advice na. If you have something to add, then add. Or if you have advice for women then give. It is not every time you have to look for what is wrong with everything.

Well, being the kind of partner a good woman would want is also a good advice for men, isn't it? It's not like I totally disagreed with what the guy said. It's just that all too often, women get blamed when things go wrong in a marriage especially here in Nigeria and I felt that without adding the balance that men also need to work on themselves to attract good spouses, some men could read that and have this sense of entitlement that it doesn't matter what they do or how they behave, that the woman is the one that should carry the burden of being the good person in the relationship/marriage.

marvinsync:



yh i didn't even think of that


but I think this message was simply tryna tell men what to choose in a lady


but yeah it's a bit chauvinistic (which I think is a better word in this situation than misogyny )

True, true. Thanks for the correction

Such an unfortunate topic.

Dear youth, stop getting into things you are not ready to handle.

Aside regretting (sure you will), you will be forever accountable to your kids, yourself and your God. Not to forget the pain when you see a couple that faced even more than you faced AND STILL WITH UNDERSTANDING, PULLING THROUGH!

Marriage is not that nonsense you watch on Zee World and telemundo. It is (like my clergy friend would say) a lifetime project. Serious work.

Quarterbac:
This is why i keep telling everyone around me I'm not sure i'm ever getting married. I'm a very quiet and calm person, even when I get offended I hardly react, I'm afraid a girl is gon' find out and take advantage of this.

I feel your concern bro.. The truth is that women normally take advantage of such men but you don't have a choice than to give it a shot

U grab?

FreeConCiencE:


But there is no part where he said Men can be whatever they want to be. He did not say Men shouldn't be loving, caring, kind and good.





Woman....work on your attitudes. I smell a disrespectful woman who believes she is equal to her husband.

Well, that's the problem. There are a lot of Nigerian men and women who take advice like politicians - if you don't spell everything out in black and white, they use it as an excuse to behave badly then when you call them out for their bad behaviour, they blame you for not giving them complete advice.

And yes, as far as love, respect, communication and tolerance goes, men and women share equal responsibility in relationships and marriages. If one person does or has it more than the other, there WILL be problems.

2extremes:

Same issue am experiencing. Though not married yet. My girlfriend is a good girl but her mum domineering influence on her is too much. Her mum just wants to control everything about her and the relationship. This is the only issue we argue about in our relationship cos my babe doesn't see anything wrong with her mum's action. Just wish she can stop this omo mummy thing and take responsibility for herself. I love her so much.

Bro,run for ur life. wish someone told me ds bf I married her. imagine my mother in-law asking wife to also "wake up" because she's a graduate.

GREATESTPIANIST:
I understand, atimes it's beyond redemption, but I believe there is no marriage God can't restore, please keep praying for your marriage if you truly love her...God bless you sir

We are divorced already. love is long gone.

Martinez39:
No. Some are happy to walk out of their marriage. To them divorce is freedom.

Not just freedom - happiness too. People get married for a whole lot of reasons and may find out down the line that their reason for getting married is not enough to keep them happy or united as a couple so they both decide to go their separate ways. The media (not just in Nigeria) likes to paint all divorces as bitter affairs (and they often are, don't get me wrong) but that's not accurate. The fact is that when both parties realize that they'd rather not subject each other and their kids to a life of pain, discontent and unhappiness in the name of staying together till death does them part - the motto of lots of Nigerians - they decide instead to part amicably as friends and maintain a cordial relationship.

fetthu:
My advice is for MEN and this is based on my little experience.

Never marry a woman that does not or would not respect you. (including a woman with bad attitude and low morals). If you do YOU WILL REGRET IT....don't ever think you can manage it ( remember its forever).
The saying that "the 3 most important things men want in marriage is:
Respect, Good food & Good sex" is true, so scan well well to be certain you have the right partner.

Most women nag...but my brother nagging get levels....do everything humanly possible to avoid a woman with high potential of nagging....if you don't...YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF....As a man, if you are not patient (SURU) pls dont marry yet, until you find a way to develop yourself in that regard....its takes a patient man to be a good husband.....you will see many things, but you can't react to everything, else YOU CAN RUN MAD.....

It takes God and high level of luck to marry the right partner (man or woman)....you cannot use smartness alone or discerning spirit or anything....Marriage is like going to the market to buy a parcel wrapped in a black nylon, until get home that's when the nature of what you bought would begin to unravel its content in a slow release manner (good or bad).

It is my believe that for a woman to enjoy/own/control her marriage and her husband she needs to be submissive to her husband....(to people who may not agree) like i said...IT IS MY BELIEVE, it may not be your believe, don't crucify me for my believe.
To those planning to get married, i wish you GOOD LUCK in selecting the right parcel. -this advice is for men. Thank you.

A million likes for this comment

Naughtysite:
A rubbish thread on frontpage without comments.

Is this a sign that APC will lose on Saturday?

Issa Sign.

This is not a rubbish thread.. It's a thread where many will learn from those who failed in their marital lives

My recommendation.
Please find the movie war room n watch it
It can still save a marriage on the brink of divorce.
If you are yet to get married, still locate it n watch.
Marriage is an institution created by God Himself..and only Him has the real blue print of a successful marriage.
Having unrealistic expectations that your partner can fulfil every of your needs is a misconception. There are needs in a man or woman that only God himself can fill.
If you are tired of fighting loosing battles in your marriage then, it's time to submit to God resist the devil in your home and he will flee from you.
God bless your marriage..

Yigiyaga:
Married 9 years,irreconcilable differences coupled with the fact she was obsessed . I couldn't say hi to a female without getting chewed out or accused of infidelity. regret...should have walked earlier.

Nearly word for word though just working on the divorce. I don't want someone I promised to care about to get hurt or hurt someone else just because of uncontrolled jealousy. If three years separation could not solve the attitude, something permanent would if she has no hold. Painful but necessary.

Bad question because those that ended up as divorcee still in sadness up till date as that wasn't what they negotiated for in their unions.


But it happened, that is destiny...

May Allah grant them better and rewarding future.

I'm so glad I walked out of my marriage of three months.

I even thank God when I think about it because God saved me.

The guy had so much skeletons in his cupboard. So diabolic and fetish. Had I known of those skeletons I wouldn't have accepted his proposal.

Say no to long distance relationship. I did it for 4 years only to get married and leave 3 months after.

4. Look for mutual dedication. There should be sustained evidence that you and a prospective mate are equally devoted to the relationship; for example, that you are both willing to make sacrifices for each other. If you consistently think you are more dedicated to the relationship than your partner, consider moving on. That’s a bad
sign for future marital quality. It’s fine to be looking for love, but it’s smarter to be looking for sacrifice.

You made a very good point here: Many people don't consider how committed their intending spouse is to the relationship. Some time, you see a situation where only the man make the calls and sees nothing wrong with that.
Secondly, many ladies believe that it's the responsibility of men to make relationship work. Perhaps if the relationship eventually led to marriage and the man realize himself and decides to make adjustments, that is when you begin to see misunderstanding.
May God give us the grace to make the right decision.

lawman88:
I never aspire divorce but the way things are going, I may divorce my wife. She never respect me and value her more than me. I m

Try talking to her about this. If she refuses to listen, call it quit. She is not worth it.

1StopRudeness:
There's no perfect marriage,
there's no bone of bone, flesh of flesh,
there no made in heaven marriage,
there's no spirit led me therefore, it must be perfect marriage..
Why do I say this.?..marriage isn't one of the compulsory will of God for us on this earth...u marry, u don't marry, it's not a crime or sin... u can still fulfill God's purpose for ur life and make it home...
Evangelist William Franklin Graham was asked, why do you have a great marriage...and he said...

There's no great marriage...just two imperfect people willing to forgive each other no matter what

I wish I could just hug you right now, you've said it all!