Oyindidi:
What will I play with? Reply codedly

bLacKGoLd3:
Chi59, sent you a PM.

OK. Will check

Considering your genetic disorder, when you start dating, the first thing you should be curious about is the guy's genotype and you shouldn't let it take long before you tell him your genotype. This will ease you the stress of emotional trauma after you have committed yourself to the relationship

Trust me, things like this will only continue to happen if you want to trap a guy down by withholding this worrisome information from him.

So basically what you're asking us is if you should tell your future hobby that you have a genetic time bomb



I reserve my comment

Fidelismaria:
So basically what you're asking us is if you should tell your future hobby that you have a genetic time bomb



I reserve my comment

Be nice

Chi59:


Are you saying that I give up on relationships?
Should I confine my self to a lifetime of loneliness simply because I have a genetic disorder?

Of course, I might stay single for a few more years but then I would love to find love and settle down someday.

Stop looking for love, free ur mind and live to the fullest, mingle with guys without expecting much... just live free jare. Stop falling in love and let love fall on u. In whatever u do, don't lie bcoz it will come back to u very bad

Fidelismaria:
So basically what you're asking us is if you should tell your future hobby that you have a genetic time bomb



I reserve my comment

You have a genetic time bomb, not me.
Stupid fellow

Chi59:


You have a genetic time bomb, not me.
St** ***

Please, do take that down.

It's OK. It gets OK at the end, whenever that is.
For those who've fled to The Anchor, it gets to be OK.

I'd advise you don't pursue love yet, as well.

connkg:

Please, do take that down.
It's OK. It gets OK at the end, whenever that is. For those who've fled to The Anchor, it gets to be OK.
I'd advise you don't pursue love yet, as well.

You don't have the right to tell me what to post or take down. Remember that

donstan18:

Madam! Stop boasting and advertising yourself. You are this and that, yet men keep running away from you!

Do you think a man in his right sense will get married or comfortably date a sickle cell?

Kindly tell that man you are loving, so that you don't end up ruining his future, life and family with your deceitful plans.

You're a disgrace of a human being.
Ahn ahn.

Chi59:


I took a break for almost a full year. Fell in love with my then best friend (the fourth guy) who wooed me for the greater part of that year. The moment I agreed to his proposal, he grew cold feet.

I'm exhausted.

Did he know of your genotype while he was wooing you?

Elxandre:
Did he know of your genotype while he was wooing you?

Yeah

Elxandre:
Did he know of your genotype while he was wooing you?

Yeah

Elxandre:
Did he know of your genotype while he was wooing you?

Yeah

Chi59:


Yeah

The thing is, it might not even be your genotype that chased him off.
Might just be something else about you.

Elxandre:

The thing is, it might not even be your genotype that chased him off.
Might just be something else about you.

I want to believe this.
But up until I told him I was ready for a relationship and ready to accept his proposition, we were as thick as thieves.
He'd always tell me in clear terms, that he loves me dearly.
From there, he started growing cold feet. I noticed it. Tried drawing his attention to it. He was like "he's just busy and all that". We started having issues and I gave him space. We became closer again but I noticed that there was no longer closeness as before. We were barely communicating, even though I decided that we should remain as friends, if a relationship won't work.
Long story short, communication died. Our friendship died
My attempt at a relationship with him died. He wooed me for about 8-10 months.

He called me two days ago, after almost a month without communicating (I had gotten tired of trying to get him to find time to communicate with me so I told him I was taking a break from everything.) He was like "how are you?"
Then I saw red.
Honestly I'm tired. I can't keep up. There's so much a person can take.
I can't continue in this vicious cycle of hit and miss, unrequited love, lies, heartbreaks.
I'm exhausted

Looool.

Anyways. What I always say is do unto people what you want to be done to you.
If the tables are turned, would you be happy if he lied.
Avoid stories that touch and be honest.

Nimmadiji:

Looool.
Anyways. What I always say is do unto people what you want to be done to you. If the tables are turned, would you be happy if he lied. Avoid stories that touch and be honest.

What's with the "lol?" Did you read my post? Did you really read my post? Did I mention that I lied to someone?

Chi59:


Are you saying that I give up on relationships?
Should I confine my self to a lifetime of loneliness simply because I have a genetic disorder?

Of course, I might stay single for a few more years but then I would love to find love and settle down someday.

My dear, don't allow yourself be talked down, whatever one is afraid of always overcome such person until one confronts it head on.
Who said you cannot get a working and truthful relationship just because of your genotype?

Who said you cannot get married because of your genotype?

When they said you cannot, then it means its very very possible you can.

So don't allow peoples words bring you down.

One of my choir member is an SS and she got married with beautiful kids.

So you don't have tell lies to win people, you will be loved just the way you are.

You are the very best of you dear, it will surely work out for you.

ImDStar:


My dear, don't allow yourself be talked down, whatever one is afraid of always overcome such person until one confronts it head on.
Who said you cannot get a working and truthful relationship just because of your genotype?

Who said you cannot get married because of your genotype?

When they said you cannot, then it means its very very possible you can.

So don't allow peoples words bring you down.

One of my choir member is an SS and she got married with beautiful kids.

So you don't have tell lies to win people, you will be loved just the way you are.

You are the very best of you dear, it will surely work out for you.

Thanks

Abaje195:
u mean dey just disappear afta goin down d honey site.... too badddd

lol

Fidelismaria:
So basically what you're asking us is if you should tell your future hobby that you have a genetic time bomb



I reserve my comment

lmao

Chi59:
I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

Chi59 Hi

First, I say sorry for whatever sorrow or grief your problem has caused you.

Secondly, I want to tell you that I am sorry as what I want to write as an advice for you may inflame you. It seems crazy, trust me. You are probably gonna curse me for this.

But young lady, I want you to understand that calamities or difficulties are part of life and although, they cause pain or grief, they are actually like medicine.

Medicine tastes bitter but it is good for the body; this analogy is applicable to difficulties. Although, they cause pain, if you react to them in a right or positive way, they will leave you with a good story to tell eventually.

So now that you have this problem, believe me, you should look beyond the bad side of it and you will realize that there is actually a good side to it.

You mentioned some desirable qualities about yourself, qualities which virtually all men seek in a woman and you claimed that, men still leave you. That is to show you that the qualities you have, as good as they are, are still not enough to make a man stay.

How about you build and improve yourself to become that woman that men would not want to leave not minding the flaw you have? That woman that men will rush, race and struggle to have just because they want to be associated with the greatness that will be perceived from you?

Why should you invest in a relationship that you know in your heart that it is probable that it will eventually crumble when you can dedicate all what you are going to invest in that relationship into improving yourself to becoming like an almost indispensable entity which the world cannot do without? To become like a river which myriads of people run to to get water to satisfy their needs? To become like honey which the world would gather around to have a taste of its sweetness? Or is it not because you fear that this guy will also leave that you are now thinking if you should hide that from him or not?

Believe me, being in a relationship is not the only interesting thing in the world. It can even be your worst nightmare. It can cause you pain and sorrow. And more importantly, it is not as interesting and fulfilling as making impact in the world; being widely recognized as an icon or personality of change; putting smile on people’s faces; being celebrated all over the world and laying positive legacies for future generations to follow.

Don’t you want to be that kind of person? How about you start dedicating your life to it now instead of getting yourself into something that will probably hold you back and you probably will still not succeed in it, which will mean you have spent time and effort on achieving a failure (I am sorry to say)? And that is sad.

If I were you, I will stop thinking about men. I will stop thinking about relationship. I will not give a shit about love. The fact that men do not want me will give me to passion and enthusiasm to dedicate my life to productive things that being in a relationship or marriage will not allow me to achieve. It will be like I have gained freedom and I will have a lot of time to do great things and achieve a lot, things which marriage will probably hinder you from achieving or limit your progress.

Let me give you an example. I know you are not a Muslim but I just want to use this as an example as it is applicable to this matter.

There was a Muslim Scholar. His name was Shaykh ibn Taymiyyah. He is one person in whose life what I have explained above reflected a great deal.

Shaykh ibn Taymiyyah was a very knowledgable man who after gaining much knowledge, he began writing books and sharing knowledge. This Shaykh was never found knocking on the door of any house seeking a wife. Most of his time was dedicated towards knowledge and writing. He never married till he died. And believe me, this helped him to achieve a great place in sharing knowledge such that one of the people who lived during his time once swore that he had never met anyone as knowledgable as the Shaykh. No one of his contemporaries could stand him in knowledge.

Aside marriage, it also reflected in his life when he was persecuted. This man, for always standing upon truth in the face of oppressive rulers, he was thrown into prison for a long time. For someone to be thrown into prison seems like a calamity, but for Shaykh ibn Taymiyyah, it was a blessing. Why? Because that was the time when he had the most time to himself to write a lot of books and share a lot of knowledge. The affairs that would hold him back when he was free were not to be attended to anymore when he was jailed and this gave him more time and enabled him to even do more.

They punished him with a calamity but he looked beyond the bad side of the calamity and capitalized on the positive side, turning the situation around. His time in prison brought him success and fulfillment even though he was in prison.

It was all of these that made Shaykh ibn Taymiyyah to be recognized as one of the largest source of reference for knowledge in the Islamic World. There is no Scholar today who is upon the pristine Islam except that he will always make reference to his works.

So the life of this man is what I want you to reflect on and apply to your life. It is a practical example of the advice I gave you.

Believe me, the world is in danger and is in need of help. If I were you, working towards making a change rather than watching it get worse and getting affected by the bad state will be my major priority, ranking over having a relationship. I am not saying u should not have a relationship. But my dear, achieve excellence and chase greatness, and if you succeed in those two, success and many other good things including a good man will follow you and then you will have no problem in having a man who will truly want you (God willing)

But if now, you find a man whom you are rest assured that he truly likes you for who you are and will not leave you, then get into a relationship. I am not discouraging you from that. But at any point in time, just be sure that you have found the right man before getting into a relationship with him.

And again, please never lie to anyone about your status. It is probable that what will follow that after some time will be nothing but misery and calamities. Never tell that lie. Never be tempted to. (I am not saying you have lied oo. I am just telling you not to)

This is my advice for you. Again, I know it seems crazy. But please don’t curse me. Not that I give a shit if you curse me anyways But think about it. And also if you are going to take my advice, please do not outdo yourself in the pursuance of greatness. You know who you are; you know your health condition. Do it as it is within your capacity. I hope you understand

Good Morning

And when i say improve yourself, it is something broad in scope

It includes ur character as well and your relation with God. it includes morals and values.

Cause all of these are also important and they all complement one another

And perhaps, it is not because of the sickle cell that they leave you

Maybe there is something about u you need to change.

check yourself and improve

And most importantly, pray to God. I dont think i need to start explaining how important that is

Good morning again

Chi59:
I haven't been fortunate with guys.
My first attempt at a relationship failed woefully.
And so did the second, third and fourth.
It isnt entirely without a reason though.
I'm SS. I have been a Sickle cell advocate for many years. I don't shy away from talking about it on any level.

Apart from that fact, I'm beautiful, smart, funny, very lovely, outgoing (even as an ambivert). I poses a healthy level of empathy, self esteem and confidence.

Physically I'm tall, slim, moderately endowed. I have been told that I look healthier than some "healthy" people.
So I don't know, what am I lacking?
All the guys I've been in love with, for one flimsy reason or the other just disappear for no reason. Just like that.

Of course, I don't hide my genotype status, but then they seem cool with it. Months later, he disappears and leaves me heartbroken.

Now I find myself liking someone again (the fifth guy). We haven't gotten that close but I'm scared. Should I lie to him? What do I tell him?

You are like a time bomb, everyone leaves for fear that you can explode at any time. Its quite unfortunate but that's the simple truth

donstan18:

Madam! Stop boasting and advertising yourself. You are this and that, yet men keep running away from you!

Do you think a man in his right sense will get married or comfortably date a sickle cell?

Kindly tell that man you are loving, so that you don't end up ruining his future, life and family with your deceitful plans.

You did do humanoemotionaltology in school.

Chi59:


Are you saying that I give up on relationships?
Should I confine my self to a lifetime of loneliness simply because I have a genetic disorder?

Of course, I might stay single for a few more years but then I would love to find love and settle down someday.

Your only mistake was bringing this to Nairaland. I tell you! Advice here can ruin the heart that forages for it.

Chi59:


I want to believe this.
But up until I told him I was ready for a relationship and ready to accept his proposition, we were as thick as thieves.
He'd always tell me in clear terms, that he loves me dearly.
From there, he started growing cold feet. I noticed it. Tried drawing his attention to it. He was like "he's just busy and all that". We started having issues and I gave him space. We became closer again but I noticed that there was no longer closeness as before. We were barely communicating, even though I decided that we should remain as friends, if a relationship won't work.
Long story short, communication died. Our friendship died
My attempt at a relationship with him died. He wooed me for about 8-10 months.

I think it's the thrill of the chase. It's like money, you do so much to get it, once you have it, you do so little to keep it. But those days you chased it, it seem it was the whole world to you. It's a psychological issue and many guys can learn to control it by reading books especially the melancholics and phelgmatic who are driven and ambitious, they see relationships as a project also. Their ego, or their fulfillment lies in chasing things.

That said, I think you are an interesting fellow, to even dream of love shows so much faith and hope that you have about life. You are full of positivity and I like that.

Every one deserves love and craves it, even God the almighty desires fellowship with us, so you are not wrong to desire such as you are created in his own image and likeness.

So I wanted to ask, are you done with school? I would like to be a friend if you don't mind. You remind me of the quote by Tyrion Lanister in the series Game of Thrones. He said "never forget who you are because the world won't forget, wear it like an armor and no one will use it against you"

You have accepted your self, that's great, that's interesting, I love that. So what's holding you back on love? Go find love dear, you are priceless and rare. People like you make the best partner, anyone will be lucky to have you.

I will love you in sickness and in health. Come to me .

I lost my closest cousin( a drop of tear for every time I remember that mofo) he a fighter, cunny fella ...tricky as well but he rest well after a good battle...story is his dad went ahead to marry an ss love of his life then, they had 5( all ss) 4 died not seeing em 5th bday but this Brave nigger fought till 27 years but still died...luck was they parents had to divorce and move on and d mum is married to an AA and d dad is also stable now with 4 kids.... Do not give up but do not bring others to suffer for what they know not....