₦airaland Forum

Ryan03:
The said husband died in a car crash. Let me put this question to you, how long should it take for one (man/ woman) to get over a loved one? kindly state if this rule is for women only. PS she's my colleague and way older than me, her husband to be works at board of I.revenue

2years is enough time for one to mourn his/her spouse. Even if you don't love the person, or the person hate or disrespected you.. at least show some respect and mourn. After that move on to do whatever pleases you.

Those claiming she should move on have got no conscience. Whereas some cannot even take the nonsense from the same lady if the dead man is to be their relative. But they will come to SM to spit trash.

It is not in everything we should emulate the western world.. there are certain things that makes us unique as a Black Nation.

yeyeosoronga:
If you want to cater for the world's children, please don't have any of your own and adopt enough to look after. There are many orphan children who need decent homes. That's very noble of you. But remember not everyone is you, and not everyone can be as noble.
The woman in question wants more children, and wants to remarry. She is well within her rights to do so. The dead is long gone and she needs to find happiness elsewhere. The earlier, the better as time waits for nobody.
If she spends the most productive, young and active part of her life grieving, and not moving o,n, what has she gained?

I'm just curious.... How comes you know what this woman want.. ? Are you the woman ? Because you sound so specific...

And can you quote the section of this her right in the Nigeria constitution......

Respect to the dead.....yes he is long gone and I suppose he is an ordinary man that has no legacy..........

Happiness is free, it reside within and not tired around a particular things such as a dicck......except there is more not stated here

Go back an read my earlier post on thus issue.....OK...I guess she is in between using her strength for either grieving or moaning to a diik rather than living within her means, nurturing the innocent boy to become successful in life, contributing to make the society a better place and aspiring to be rich on her own.


Perhaps, a diik is such a gain

iTearHerToto:
Cried from 2008 to 2014




Pukes

Exactly. If He cried for this number of years that means she is the best person in that relationship.

simplesearch:
And what stops her from getting married in a properly way to the man before getting pregnant for him, with what has happened whatever respect she has left has been completely eroded and her image and stand in the family badly damaged., just wondering why she can't exercise some patient to see things to a reasonable conclusion before undertaking this unnecessary long jump.
If only she knew it was her own cross to carry in this life she probably would have caution herself and exercise some restraint. It is also likely her in-laws are unaware of this pregnancy, which is why her quest to quickly get this relationship sealed before the pregnancy becomes visible is to her a task that must be accomplished on time & at all cost. However with the in-laws refusal to grant her request trouble & shame may just be lurking around the corner for her, and if she aborts the pregnancy this may further complicate her matter.

How's it anybody's business if she decides to get pregnant b4 remarrying? What right do her late husbands have to deny her her request? She will only inform them that she is remarrying 4 courtesy sake. Its her family that can grant her request

kazyhm:
I'm just curious.... How comes you know what this woman want.. ? Are you the woman ? Because you sound so specific...

And can you quote the section of this her right in the Nigeria constitution......

Respect to the dead.....yes he is long gone and I suppose he is an ordinary man that has no legacy..........

Happiness is free, from inward and not tired around a particular things such as a dicck......except there is more not stated here

Go back an read my earlier post on thus issue.....OK...I guess she is in between using her strength for either briefing or moaning to a diik rather than living within her means, nurturing the innocent boy, contributing to make the society a better place and aspiring to be rich on her own.


Perhaps, a diik is such a gain

The innocent boy needs siblings and a father. She will be very lucky if her new husband is ready to accept her son and treat him as his own. She has found happiness and is enjoying her life.
OP specifically says she wants to remarry and she is pregnant. If she didnt want to remarry, she would not have agreed to do so.
May God allow this new dick last long with her in good health and happiness. May this new dick raise her son with her in love and fairness. May her new children be born in joy, wealth and prosperity. Many this new family be filled with happiness and joy. May God grant the late man's family the peace they desire and the strength to move on from their son's demise.
The show must go on.

We have many widows because you men are always going after women younger than you, or far younger. Wether one believes it or not, old age is synonymous with health risks which leads to sickness/death. If men marry women older than them, then naturally we'd have more widowers, cuz their older wives would die before them. I am not disputing the fact that men are more exposed to risk in life which may result in death, but the former reason I gave is Paramount.

MartinsD12:
Most times I ask myself why do we have so many widows, I mean the men die most times more than women which is very small in number, women bad do everything for them once you don die a day is enough for them to look for another man

Guys please wise up...marriage is a big scam

yeyeosoronga:
The innocent boy needs siblings and a father. She will be very lucky if her new husband is ready to accept her son and treat him as his own. She has found happiness and is enjoying her life.
OP specifically says she wants to remarry and she is pregnant. If she didnt want to remarry, she would not have agreed to do so.
May God allow this new dick last long with her in good health and happiness. May this new dick raise her son with her in love and fairness. May her new children be born in joy, wealth and prosperity. Many this new family be filled with happiness and joy. May God grant the late man's family the peace they desire and the strength to move on from their son's demise.
The show must go on.

You're so funny.......with your genuine prayers....more strength to the diik.........

She is three months pregnant but not married to the man responsible yet..........what's the probability that your prayers will be what the case will turn out to be ?

Point of correction.... The boy came to this world alone and will go back alone just like his beloved Dad...... So if he truly need company he would have been born twins or more......


I know you're a fan of the popular saying that what a man can do, a woman can do it better.....

Then you sounded as if the woman has moved in with the impregnator already..........

God bless you bro...don’t mind the OP,will you be happy if you are dead husband’s shoe?

Give the dead the respect he deserved,is even culture in some part of Nigeria to atleast mourn your late husband for a year before moving on but imagine your own case of the wife fucking around to the extend of getting pregnant after a year she lost her husband...I suspect the lady of her husband death

I think she was sleeping with the man she now wants to marry even before her husband died, if not the shock of loosing her husband will keep her away from men for years. For her to be 3months pregnant already should tell you that she has been preventing or aborting others before now, meaning she had sex even when her husband's corpse was not buried. You refused to mentioned the number of children she had with the man and only told us her age. If she's guilty what happened to her last husband WILL happen to this one. QUOTE ME

in as much I dont want to be judgemental the lady is already 3months pregnant, 18month minus three thats a yr 3month, a lot will definitely run through the mind of the husband family........when a woman loves, they love deeply.....more emotional and decisive than that of the male counterparts that are fickle minded and can compartmentalise there feelings.....men move on easily than women, so my verdict is either the late husband love in the woman was never deep rooted or she married for marriage sake, all in all she should be allowed to move on.

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Oga i have read just few of your replies and noted how you're attacking everyone against the woman and supporting the woman, it's like you're the one that got the widow pregnant and want to marry her, less than two years of her husband's death is too short for her to get pregnant for someone abeg, that's the truth and it's bitter to you, if she really loved the late husband dearly, it's still too too early to even be in a serious relationship with another man talkless of being pregnant and planning marriage, jeez, let me not classify her as heartless but let me say she didn't love the late husband and if she loved him the love was so shallow

Ryan03:
People grief differently. Because mrs A griefed for 10years doesn't mean mrs B must grief for same number of years. Why exactly do we monitor how long people grief? Are we happy seeing them in that state? I thought relatives and friends are to comfort them and help them move on?

Logobenz1:
yes.because na widower work for em money na.its not rocket science,jeez
Women often kill their spouses to take his resources all to herself and Bleep who she wants

Commendable ! Coming from a broke-ass nigga. I guessed u missed the part where the OP said the lady in question is his colleague...

lexy2014:
That means Kumuyi didn't love his first wife cos he remarried a year after her death

Not that he doesn't but remember you cannot be successful in all spheres of life. I only know myself

Ojugunrege:
Commendable ! Coming from a broke-ass nigga. I guessed u missed the part where the OP said the lady in question is his colleague...

lick your words wisely

Why must she waste time marrying another man? One year is good enough to mourn anybody, after one year people should move on with their lives and remarry, body no be wood jo

Honestly ,it is needless to keep crying when the head is off..to live a good life,one must stop crying about the past and move forward ..What we have ahead is far better than what we have lost in the past..I will advice her to live her life. It is her decision that matters to her destiny not what others say.

Even WF Kumuyi remarried three months just after is wife passed on and no one complained

theButterfly:
Many people take longer than that to move on if they so much loved their spouse. I've a friend in Nigeria whose mother refused to re-marry after the loss of her husband years ago and single-handely raised all 5 of her kids. I was watching Dr. Phil some weeks ago and this man who lost his wife 7 years ago is just starting to date again.

That said, people are different and grief differently. This lady shouldn't be faulted for wanting to re-marry now if she chooses. She already moved on months ago when she started dating the new man, lol. To be fair, if she were a man, people around him would be urging him to move on and find another wife asap.

my mum lost my dad at a tender age of 41. She raised four kids on her own. At some point we asked her to atleast go and date one of the numerous men that were coming for her. She warned us never to discuss that nonsense again. My mother knew what marriage is. Loyal woman.

Who knows if she connived with her new man to kill her former husband...just to pave way for newman...

D time frame is too short for her to get pregnant for another nigga.....i sense foul play pertaining to her husband's death

yeyeosoronga:
You will pick race, but another man has decided not to pick race. She didnt get pregnant 5 months after her husband's death but at least over 1 full year. What more do you world people want?
Pregnancy only needs one sexual encounter to occur. This occurrence happened 15months after the death of her spouse. They could have started dating 1 month prior to the sex, and she got pregnant. She could have gotten pregnant the first time she slept with the new father to be.
Afterall konji knows no creed..

See, the truth is if she likes, she can marry the day after her late husbands death. The point many of you dont understand is if there was actually love there, she wouldnt be so rapid with all these. If i heard she is 3 months exactly 20 months after the death of the man, i would say they should leave her alone and let her carry on with her new life.
The man might have been an arse when he was still alive and the girl was maybe fedup, but still loyal and faithfull. And it must have been very easy to move on if she felt a free and expirenced something deeper after the man's death. But the point not that she shouldn't marry or move on or stay years, most times sef the feeling youll get when another man walks towards u eh.
And the probability of getting pregnant on first encounter are very low, i'm not saying its not possible, but low probability.

The thing happened too fast, you might not understand it now till you meet yourself in some positions in life. I am also sure many of the people here including you wouldnt want something like this when the woman just forgot you like you held no importance.

I wish her happiness sha, everyone has their lifes.

Logobenz1:
Look there is an undertone to everything bro.
Do you know what love is?if you love a person,moving on won't be that easy!
That's why the dead man's family is protesting because it kind of tells them the woman did not love their brother enough.
I remember 2008 when the first woman I ever loved left for France for studies.God I cried,did not date any other person till 2014 or so...
Love is not that easy to move on from.

Rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!*100

But if it's a man he can even marry in 6months and you won't complain! Double standard!

Marital vow says "till death do us part!" Even civil courts affirm that marital contract ends upon death of a partner! it did not say 10yrs afterwards!

@Op, please tell the lady to be strong and never give a damn about what anybody says! It's nobody's life but hers alone! She needs to move on and be happy again!

Provided she has no hand in her husband's death, the husband would even be happy in the spiritual world that she has moved on I.e if he is not the selfish type!

kazyhm:
What are you reversing for.........
This is a peculiar case......... You said she is three months pregnant............18 - 3 - the number of months she has known the impregnator =.......is that how easy it is to found love again ?


Does she appear as a loyal wife to her late husband to you ?...... Besides, you didn't tell us how many kids she had with the late husband

Is Like Op Is The One Responsible For The Pregn.... And Wants To Continue 4rm Where Her Late Husband Stopped. That Op Cannot Fool Me, I Am Not A Baby.

That is how people will not mind their business but continue to poke nose into other people's affairs!

The lady should go ahead and marry now that another man is interested in her! What's the guarantee that another man would want to marry her after 3yrs in this country

Ryan03:
There is on fixed time to mourn for someone you love, every one griefs differently. I Dont see anything wrong in it, marriage vows says till death do them part, why then do you think you have a say over the woman after the death of your kinsman? Do you realise you have no formal relationship with her after the death of your brother? Was there any signed contract as to how many years one party is to mourn incase one dies? Put sentiments aside, open your mind, you will find the truth

Mr. Man, Say The Truth And Shame The Devil. Are U The One Pounding Her To Extent She Got Pregnant? Over To U Op

It's even possible that the lady is already in her 40s and as such needs to hasten up with conception and things like that. And then some fools with their double standards would want her to remain in perpetual morning! At the end, the same people would turn around and mock her for not having her own issues!

Op, if you are really a good friend to that lady, you have to encourage her to go ahead and get married and damn whatever fools have to say!

lexy2014:
She "promised to b with d g guy all her life"... Now that d guy is dead, how's she going to b with d guy?

Yes you are right,what about respect for sometime ?