Rockyfancino:

Thank you. Simple logic, many pple dont have it. 18 - 3 months of pregnancy - how long she has been dating the new guy equal what? = a lot of question marks.

If one's child die, is that how it's easy to move on.

If i was dating a woman and she told me her ex husband died just some months ago, i'll pick race. There's no one who wouldn't want to remain in "loving memory."

You will pick race, but another man has decided not to pick race. She didnt get pregnant 5 months after her husband's death but at least over 1 full year. What more do you world people want?
Pregnancy only needs one sexual encounter to occur. This occurrence happened 15months after the death of her spouse. They could have started dating 1 month prior to the sex, and she got pregnant. She could have gotten pregnant the first time she slept with the new father to be.
Afterall konji knows no creed..

Logobenz1:
Look there is an undertone to everything bro.
Do you know what love is?if you love a person,moving on won't be that easy!
That's why the dead man's family is protesting because it kind of tells them the woman did not love their brother enough.
I remember 2008 when the first woman I ever loved left for France for studies.God I cried,did not date any other person till 2014 or so...
Love is not that easy to move on from.

Is marriage always about love
If it was about love at the beginning, do you think that it will be about love forever?

The fact that PEOPLE GRIEF DIFFERENTLY is the major emphasis here. But even if you explain this from now till tomorrow, they wount understand, rather you will see people continue to bring up different explanations to cover up that simple fact. How many Nigerian men ''will'' properties to their ''wives''? I ask because often times men ''will'' properties to their children, (tho he may give his wife a portion). In most cases where a man Wills properties to his wife, you will see it clearly stated how she should utilize such resources, and the children are usually the focus in such cases. So even if this ladies dead husband willed properties to her, the family can still be getting in touch to ensure that she uses it properly. Besides, a widow who remarries is still more capable to take care of her dead husband's children, better than greedy uncle's/relatives who clamor around like they care.

There is nothing wrong with the woman remarrying after a year. I would have criticized her if it was 6months or less. How long does it take to meet the opposite sex for a relationship? I want people who are accusing her of killing her husband to answer that question. Imargine people claiming she must have been cheating while her husband was alive, all in a bid to rubbish the woman. If the opposite was the case, and a man had remarried, this same people will say a different thing. I see this as the mentality of most Nigerian men, and it is the truth.

Ryan03:
People grief differently. Because mrs A griefed for 10years doesn't mean mrs B must grief for same number of years. Why exactly do we monitor how long people grief? Are we happy seeing them in that state? I thought relatives and friends are to comfort them and help them move on?

Those against her moving on with her life are surely ignorant and only judging from societal influence.
I was once in this scenario, I lost a dear one few weeks to our wedding and remarried few months after, infact everything falls in that same year and my new wife happens to be who I have never met before. Many years after our wedding and even with grown up kids, there is no day, i mean no day I don't remember my late wife. She was my first love.
Thank God I took that decision, I would not have got no joy after she left.

The woman should follow her instinct and count herself even lucky to have someone to love her again.

SocialJustice:
Men are known dogs but that's not to say there aren't guys who would hold off for years even if they start fucking not to the extent of getting another lady pregnant and wanting to remarry in less than 2 years. The behaviour of the lady was completely wrong, even if she started having sex, why get pregnant so early? I believe she was already seeing her new f.mate before her husband passed on.

When will people stop using dogs as a yardstick to label men....dogs is the most loyal living animal ever ok...please stop...dog is even more loyal than you.

Ryan03:
So loyal wives have to mourn for long to prove they are loyal? So if she stayed unmarried for 10years but continue to fvck multiple dicks she will be a loyal wife in the eyes of society? Who are we deceiving? So you think all those widows who stay unmarried for years Dont fvck? Why do we love pretence yet accuse women of being pretenders?

Listen, even though I view myself as Liberal, I am really not in support of this. Barely 1 year after the death of her husband, she was already having unprotected sex with another man. She had stopped loving her husband long before he died.

How long has she known this dude she is fucking with... @OP, please answer

Your fourth paragraph is the major reason for their sentimental and partial way of reasoning.

Ayotemide:
A family friend who is a widower remarried in 6months, the bride was already pregnant.

His family urged him to do that despite being in his 50's and having grown children who can take care of themselves.

Nobody accused him of not being 'loyal' to her memory or killing the dead wife.

Hypocrisy and double standards some of you were raised with make you horrible human beings. The lady in this post has been raised a 'submissive' Nigerian woman.

I would be damning all of those opinions to hell and moving on with my life, had she been the dead one he would be married in a month.

Skmoda:

When will people stop using dogs as a yardstick to label men....dogs is the most loyal living animal ever ok...please stop...dog is even more loyal than you.

Dogs are loyal when it comes to sex? Please stick to the point. I never said anything about dogs loyalty to man.

oglalasioux:


She is free to move on. But if she wants to be free in her second marriage she should relinquish all privileges accorded her by her late husband.

Jacqueline Kennedy, JF Kennedy's widow, lost all privileges she enjoyed from marrying her husband when she remarried including a life time Secret Service cover.

I believe if she does that no one will raise an eyebrow. Bringing a stranger to enjoy the late man's wealth might be the reason for the antagonism.

Who told you the late husband left her any wealth? The OP stated he died in a commercial vehicle while travelling to Lagos. He didn't die in a plane crash, he didn't die in his personal car yet you naturally assumed he had some wealth the wife was after. Who told you she wasn't richer than the late husband?
They are only against her because they want her to mourn forever. Since their brother died, didnt any of his sister and brothers give birth, or get married , or build new houses? Afterall is blood not thicker than water? Why didn't they stop living their own lives?

op, are u sure u are not the new husband

this one wey u carry the matter for head like gala

why are u crying more than the bereaved?

if u were the late man,, how would u feel if this is happening

You have said it all!

texazzpete:
Nigerian men are terrible Sha.

Look at clowns using this to extrapolate how much love she had for him.
Marriage vows say "till death do us part". Does anyone vow to remain married after death?

When oshiomhole married shortly after his wife died, we didn't see you crusty negroes come out to complain. It's only when it's a woman that this thinly veiled misogyny comes out.

The worst of all is, there's a lunatic on the first page that says he isn't going to leave any money to his wife in his will because he's afraid she can find happiness after he dies

Pathetic

yeyeosoronga:


She has a right to more children if she so wants, and can look after them. Her husband's life was cut short unexpectedly. Eucharia Anunobi not to recently lost her only child, and she is very nearly menopausal.
The half bro/ sis thing is not new in any society and this might still have occurred if the man had impregnated his girlfriend or married more wives.
She has a right to moan in ecstasy every night under the new dick. The new dick is no longer a stranger and its only a matter of time before she would have spent a longer time with the 'stranger' than even her first marriage.
The marriage contract expires automatically on the death of one of the spouses.
Even divorced women are allowed to remarry as soon as their marriage contract expires, how much more a widow with not a hope of reconciliation.

Yeah I agree with you on this....it all about more children and more abandon children the world need to cater for and worry about.......because one wants to enjoy the five minutes strength of a standing dicck till it erupt a molten milk.......its note worthy how you miraculously knew the late husband would have impregnated an imaginary girlfriend(s)........

The right for more children is only in the book of the poor and idea less citizens

Losing a child is a probability not a certainty........ Why make the world complicated based on assumptions ?

Ferdinandu:

What you are saying is really true but whether she loved him or not doesn't matter again, he is dead and she is not being suspected of killing him as I can deduce. Why waste time crying over a spilled milk. We will all die one day, if you can mourn your death a day as Muslims do and move on the next. As you mourn the death your own time of death is coming closer.

Bros some action we take might be right but the way we go about it can make you totally wrong .It is not a bad thing if she is dating the new man codedly but getting pregnant so soon is a no no for me (3 months for that matter) a little patience would have made everything okay now she wants to complicate her life cause of rush rush

Ryan03:
Now reverse the roles, would you have typed same thing if it was the woman that died?

Someone who is acting irrationally, mariage is till death do us part. 18 months is a long time to mourn. The husband's family should even support her

I swear the bitch ain’t loyal and I wonder if the same man haven’t been fucking her before the death of her husband

Getting pregnant within 18months is too early. Hian.

This shit isn’t up to 18 months self because 18-3 months of pregnancy=15 months.imagine the time he might be fucking this so called man who she wanna marry now..this woman is a bitch and a betrayal,she is fucking the dude even before her husband died

Ayotemide:
A family friend who is a widower remarried in 6months, the bride was already pregnant.

His family urged him to do that despite being in his 50's and having grown children who can take care of themselves.

Nobody accused him of not being 'loyal' to her memory or killing the dead wife.

Hypocrisy and double standards some of you were raised with make you horrible human beings. The lady in this post has been raised a 'submissive' Nigerian woman.

I would be damning all of those opinions to hell and moving on with my life, had she been the dead one he would be married in a month.

these commenters are horrible humans raised in a sentimental society. I actually know of a man that got someone pregnant two months after his wife's death. No one said a thing, all i kept hearing was, its good so she can help take care of the kids and help him grief faster. Lol

Anyone who has a problem with this is nothing but a sentimental idiot soaked in misogyny

nerorex01:

My first sentence did justice to that: that they are not mean enough to owe up to love.

That means Kumuyi didn't love his first wife cos he remarried a year after her death

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Jfyzee:



@OP you are feeling pity for the said lady because the man involve is not your uncle or related to you in anyway. Assuming the man is your uncle, will you con dole this lady attitude towards him..?

Just a year and six months she's already pregnant for another man. Who does that by the way..? The in-laws have the right to act the way they are acting now.. unless you want to tell us the baby she's carrying is yours the reason you're defending her.

Kindly put sentiment and feelings aside and tell her she did wrong with her action. Her action is questionable already as to the death of her husband. Both she and her impregnator should be seriously questioned.

What a woman indeed

What a woman indeed.
That is why Africa will always remain backward. In a sane society , every body will encourage the woman or man to start dating again and keep herself busy and happy. But I guess this is Africa where a woman can only show her virtue by being sad and lonely. I know a man that is wife died at childbirth, he did not even wait for 3 months. Let the woman be, it is her life.

kazyhm:


Yeah I agree with you on this....it all about more children and more abandon children the world need to cater for and worry about.....because one have to enjoy the moan that's come with having a dicck to oneself.....its note worthy how you miraculously knew the late husband would have impregnated an imaginary girlfriend.........

The right for more children is only in the book of the poor and idea less citizens

Losing a child is a probability not a certainty........ Why make the world complicated base on assumptions ?

If you want to cater for the world's children, please don't have any of your own and adopt enough to look after. There are many orphan children who need decent homes. That's very noble of you. But remember not everyone is you, and not everyone can be as noble.
The woman in question wants more children, and wants to remarry. She is well within her rights to do so. The dead is long gone and she needs to find happiness elsewhere. The earlier, the better as time waits for nobody.
If she spends the most productive, young and active part of her life grieving, and not moving on, what has she gained?

Ryan03:
The said husband died in a car crash. Let me put this question to you, how long should it take for one (man/ woman) to get over a loved one? kindly state if this rule is for women only. PS she's my colleague and way older than me, her husband to be works at board of I.revenue

See eh lets all be realistic. If you love someone, you don't move on that easily. A year and few months and she is already 3months pregnant. Its her life so she can do what she likes with it. The New man should know that God forbids he goes to meet his maker. This time around she will be pregnant 4 months after

prizequest:


Your father in law on your first visit asked you, "why do you want to marry my daughter?". i guess your answer will be, "because your son got married to someone daughter".

thats the reason for rebutall

And this was d reason 4 my question:

"if our mothers keep remarrying, that means we wouldnt have the priviledge of having mothers in our paternal homes until they're dead in a husbands house."

Ryan03:
She have a son for her late husband)

The fact that she had a son for her late husband means that she should seek to maintain relations with her in-laws, I believe.

The boy should have a link to his father's people especially in this season when some step parents have been shown to be mean to their step children and their partners say or do nothing.

It's her life and since she's pregnant, she's made her decision. She should just seek to give the child some access to his father's family.
'

Graduateacher:
There's nothing wrong, he's dead.

And what stops her from getting married in a properly way to the man before getting pregnant for him, with what has happened whatever respect she has left has been completely eroded and her image and stand in the family badly damaged., just wondering why she can't exercise some patient to see things to a reasonable conclusion before undertaking this unnecessary long jump.
If only she knew it was her own cross to carry in this life she probably would have caution herself and exercise some restraint. It is also likely her in-laws are unaware of this pregnancy, which is why her quest to quickly get this relationship sealed before the pregnancy becomes visible is to her a task that must be accomplished on time & at all cost. However with the in-laws refusal to grant her request trouble & shame may just be lurking around the corner for her, and if she aborts the pregnancy this may further complicate her matter.

Very bold and foolish step on her part. No one is saying she shouldn't have moved on but getting pregnant so soon does not tell good of her at all, it's not a case of love now, it's a matter of common sense and dignity. Who would take her side if the family accuses her of conspiring with her lover to kill their son?