₦airaland Forum

Votukpa:
Let me get this straight.

You walked out of your marriage because you found out your husband was a manwhore? You decided to deny your child its right to a family to be brought up in because you couldn't manage your husband?

Let me ask you these..

You made the conscious decision to marry him, did you not?
Did u not at least perceive he had manwhore tendencies before you decided to become an item with him?
I'm very sure you did. Show me a woman (or man) who is unhappily married or divorced and i'll show you someone who ignored many blatant warning signs/red flags and ignored all of them.


Please follow my logic (if you will):

It goes without saying that women who walk out of their marriage on account of infidelity or got knocked up by a man whom she isn't married to are prime examples of women who are very poor decision makers and are therefore unfit to be responsible wives; or were desperate for marriage (which makes them poor decision makers yet still).

So, why should any intelligent and rational male submit himself to picking up the pieces of a woman's broken relationship that she stupidly entered into and consciously broke? Why would any man want to be with a woman who brought forth a child in a marriage but couldn't remain in it inspite of the challenges; or a woman who easily spreads her legs open for premarital raw sex without thinking through the consequences and implications?

If a woman decides to walk out of a marriage with a child or had a child out of wedlock (worse) and any man agrees to date or marry her afterwards-she will never respect that man.

Ever.

She will forever resent him for his stupidity. She may pretend to love him (she has to since he will be footing bills and giving her social proof as well as being a step dad), but on the inside, she will loathe him for tolerating to be with her-thinking, "so, this is (me) the best you can do". Every woman (including single moms) wants a man to be better than her her in every sense. Any man agreeing to be with a divorced woman communicates to her that he isn't better than her, but only willing to be a tool.

Why do you think God hates divorce?

divorce destroys marriages and homes and children.

God hates that.

Bottom line.

No single man should cut a covenant of any sort with a single mother who walked out of her own marriage or wasn't intelligent enough to judge whether her sex partner would wife her up-- for his own sanity and safety.

Marrying such women is like going into a business deal with someone whom he knows dealt business with another person, and the deal was resoundingly unsuccessful for very bad reasons. Better safe than sorry.

For all divorced single mothers out there, marry your Bible and dedicate your lives to repentance and building your child. If God sees that you're ready and mature at heart, he knows how to bring a good man to you, who will show you love.

YOUNG MEN READ THIS OVER AND OVER AND OVER. DONT MESS UP YOUR LIFE FOR STUPID FETISHES OR INSECURITIES.

What sort of fooli.sh condescending statement is that. You ask a question and someone gives opinion yet you respond stupidly cos his opinion doesn't reconcile to yours... did you ask for his birth certificateto confirm how young he is

yazga:
You are still young, and do not understand life yet

anonimi:
Na why you come spoil your better story with Bible quote when there may be sayings in your own culture that demonstrate the same thing

No vex

Redacted

ubunja:
i hear you. It's only natural I want men to win cause I'm a man. Plus men have been duped for so long they deserve a rest. And a little victory.

I have no respect for a woman who splits a bill 50/50 with a man. I detest that BS. Either the man covers everything or the woman does. That's how relationships can last. One must dominate. Equality in relationships leads nowhere but to divorce.

As funny as it may sound, after the virgin, the best woman to marry is a Gold Digger. Gold Diggers are the most feminine, most submissive women you'll find. Cause they know their place. And play their role well: eat money, open legs and shut up.

ubunja you contradict yourself.. U said in your previous post if how manipulative women are and they only want you based on financial security because they only find 20% of men attractive, now you complain when a woman wanna split bills and contribute financially in the relationship. Which then shld we go for

pansophist:
This thread really exposed the hypocrisy in women. Somehow, these women think it is okay to saddle a promising man with a single mom, but refuse to acknowledge the opinion from the male contributors, that single moms and single dads fit themselves perfectly.

Also, dismissing all the challenges that a man will experience dating a single mom with statements like, ''if they love each other'' etc, like really? How does love prevent the baby daddy from showing up and causing trouble? how does love rewire her sexual imprint to her new partner? how will love make the child accept the young man as his father? how will love prevent his innocent actions, such as scolding the child not to be interpreted as hate? How about the risk associated with raising up a kid that will never love you, or see you as a father?

In a romantic context, ''Love'' is the most abused word and a go-to convenience for irresponsible people without any shred of accountability in them. If we turn the table around and ask these women if they will marry a divorced single dad with kids and broke, I can bet my life that they will all flee, and even if they said yes, its virtue-signaling. They won't allow their sons, or brothers to do the same, but somehow, wants to guilt-trip young ambitious men to be with one. The only exemption that I will not be against a young man going for a single mom is if the baby dad is deceased, and even at that, he must have been a responsible man prior to passing away. Her previous partner is the evidence to judge her standards and the life choice she made, which is crucial in determining if she is worthy of a ring.

No man should save any woman. If you mess up with your life, you should bear the consequences that come with it. Special thanks to Ubunja, boss13, franchasng and other contributors for the dose of common sense.

YOUNG MEN ALSO READ THIS ELOQUENT PIECE LIKE A BIBLE. IT WILL SAVE YOU FROM MAKING STUPID DECISIONS

WarriFirstBorn:
There is nothing wrong with being a single mother or marrying one. Different things could lead to a lady becoming a single mother. It could be she lost her husband. She got divorced. Got pregnant out of wedlock and both of them didn't end up getting married. She was raped and got pregnant. So many reasons. That someone has a child for someone and she now a single mum doesn't make her less a human than every other non single ladies. There are so many single mothers who are doing so well for themselves. They don't even need a man to compliment them, financially.

For those talking trash about how they can't marry single mothers and calling them evening newspapers, I hope they can say such of Genevieve Nnaji. She is a single mother. Can any of your single girlfriend measure up to her in any standard?

I am presently dating a single mother and I can say she is the best I have ever been with. If she doesn't tell you that she is a mother, you would never know. She has a 5 year old boy that I love so much. I and the kid are best of friends. Whenever I call her, if I haven't heard the boy's voice or speak to him, I am not done for that day.
I am older to her by 5 years. She is educated and is doing well for herself. Beautiful and well looking. I have dated other single ladies before and I can tell the difference. When we go out, people see as a family. They see the kid as mine because of the way we bond. We are already making plans on settling down together.
So, not all single mothers are a liability. Some are angels.

And for those of you condemning single mothers, remember you have sisters or female cousins or nieces. No one prays for evil occurrence. If God forbids your female family member lost her husband at a very early age or she got divorced. Are you saying she shouldn't remarry because she is a single mother? Or will you call her evening newspaper?

You are yet to understand women.

cooooooks:
There's nothing wrong in being a single mother and there's nothing wrong in dating or marrying one.

However, don't expect them to be more mature or experienced or understanding. Treat them like as though they were single and not yet mothers.

Furthermore, you have to consider their kid(s). You should be ready to take care of them as though they were yours.

My brother, you are funny.
U said there is nothing wrong in bn a single mother. There is everything wrong in it. Apart from the silly Western civilization that has tend to erode sound morality, there is nothing good in bn single parent.

If yours comes as an accidental pregnancy, yes u may have learnt ur lesson, but that does not remove the way ppl see that.
If u did urs intentionally,that mean u beliv that u don't really need men in ur life. For this why should the single lady complain of men bn scared of dating or marrying her. Only a no do good man will marry such.

Summarily, it is not our culture to be proud of single motherhood. Morally, it is not upright too. Biblically, it is a sin. Even the Bible said that no illegitimate child shall enter the kingdom of God even to his tenth generation. This is to show u how much God detest single motherhood.

Meta4element:
Pasoooooo...Walai senior bro..na your comment I dey look for from Page 1...Oil full your head Nwanne...I always wish am kinda related to you...You really know how real life works..


and for most of you stupid Commenters..Una never see something...Carry a single mom go meet your mama make she clap for you make we see...Idiots who believe in eating Crumbs..seriously why will someone accept to eat Chicken head when you can comfortably afford its Laps?....For me you are nothing but a loser!!!

Keep quiet! You are so bad hearted.

JONNYSPUTE:
...Well,until you proof me wrong by giving me an example of any. From our celebrities and even those on the street. Meanwhile,Genevieve is rich but have you asked yourself why she has not picked a broke guy and marry?.

Actually i'm concuring with you that this is the norm especially in Nigeria due to how women are raised and what they are instiilled to believe that the man must be "bigger"than them in every way or he is not a man.

That its more like when a man has he looks for opportunity to uplift a female not minding her financial state while the more women have they look for opportunity to broke shame men while raising the bar of the kind of bigger man they want.
But i've lived long enough to see few exceptions and know that single mothers are not the only ones who play by that rule. So can't really "judge" them by a thing not exclusive to them.
Most women play by three rules:

1) H - Hypergamy = Wants a bigger man but don't understand why they should build with and not loathe a not bigger one.

2) E - Entitled = wants the man to fund her vanities but can't fanthom why she should have to make routine financial and material contribution too.

3) R - Relcaciltrant = wouldn't mind shying away from domestic responsibilities and being submissive if the man doesn't step down his foot.

Single mothers easily learn to drop the last one and sometimes the second but the first de hard them pass given that they usually want to end up with someone richer to pepper their last man. I have dated a couple of single mothers and pretty aware of how they reason.

Psoul:
My brother, you are funny.
U said there is nothing wrong in bn a single mother. There is everything wrong in it. Apart from the silly Western civilization that has tend to erode sound morality, there is nothing good in bn single parent.

If yours comes as an accidental pregnancy, yes u may have learnt ur lesson, but that does not remove the way ppl see that.
If u did urs intentionally,that mean u beliv that u don't really need men in ur life. For this why should the single lady complain of men bn scared of dating or marrying her. Only a no do good man will marry such.

Summarily, it is not our culture to be proud of single motherhood. Morally, it is not upright too. Biblically, it is a sin. Even the Bible said that no illegitimate child shall enter the kingdom of God even to his tenth generation. This is to show u how much God detest single motherhood.

You forgot to add finance - it's financially burdensome to be a single mother

princfred:
Actually i'm concuring with you that this is the norm especially in Nigeria due to how women are raised and what they are instiilled to believe that the man must be "bigger"than them in every way or he is not a man.

That its more like when a man has he looks for opportunity to uplift a female not minding her financial state while the more women have they look for opportunity to broke shame men while raising the bar of the kind of bigger man they want.
But i've lived long enough to see few exceptions and know that single mothers are not the only ones who play by that rule. So can't really "judge" them by a thing not exclusive to them.
Most women play by three rules
1) H - Hypergamy
2) E - Entitled
3) R - Relcaciltrant
Single mothers easily learn to drop the last one and sometimes the 2 but the first they hard them pass given that they usually want to end up with someone richer to pepper their last man.

They do these during the courtship period. In martial phase, they exhibit all tendencies in full wrath. Also add R - Resentment. Resentment from both the mother and her children. A man with a single mother is like a visitor in his own home.

ubunja:
listen to this one
Lmfao

Nna aaaaa...follow mw see what a man with two functional testicles is saying.

princfred:
Actually i'm concuring with you that this is the norm especially in Nigeria due to how women are raised and what they are instiilled to believe that the man must be "bigger"than them in every way or he is not a man.

That its more like when a man has he looks for opportunity to uplift a female not minding her financial state while the more women have they look for opportunity to broke shame men while raising the bar of the kind of bigger man they want.
But i've lived long enough to see few exceptions and know that single mothers are not the only ones who play by that rule. So can't really "judge" them by a thing not exclusive to them.
Most women play by three rules:

1) H - Hypergamy
2) E - Entitled
3) R - Relcaciltrant

Single mothers easily learn to drop the last one and sometimes the second but the first de hard them pass given that they usually want to end up with someone richer to pepper their last man. I have dated a couple of single mothers and pretty aware of how they reason.

.. Agreed.

Boss13:
They do these during the courtship period. In martial phase, they exhibit all tendencies in full wrath. Also add R - Resentment. Resentment from both the mother and her children. A man with a single mother is like a visitor in his own home.

Ok i never married one so cant know of what they are like in full marriage. The only experience close to being a visitor was with one who i noticed goes on and on wailing about her the last man treated her badly when discussing with her gf while i was there wondering why she wasn't talking about how much I've bern contributing to heal her. So you should be right about that getting a man feeling like he is a visitor not just in the room but in her life because that's what i remember feeling like then.

ubunja:
you are just Mr Clean Up.

A woman screws up her life and you come running with that salary and that house and you save her. Smh

Imagine how blessed it would have been to find a chaste virgin who has kept herself pure in this corrupt world and then reward her with that lifestyle.

But because you've such low standards and you don't believe you deserve the best you go find a woman whom you don't even know how she got pregnant, and you reward her.

*spits*

Respect Yourself.

standards are relative and not everyone values virginity.

That the woman "screwed up her life" is an assumption.
That she is someone else's reject is also an assumption.
that he does not know how she got pregnant is an assumption.

your conclusion that he doesn't respect himself is false-premised.

You, on the other hand, needs to learn to respect others

Savagethe21st:
ubunja you contradict yourself.. U said in your previous post if how manipulative women are and they only want you based on financial security because they only find 20% of men attractive, now you complain when a woman wanna split bills and contribute financially in the relationship. Which then shld we go for

depends on do you have the money or not.

If you have money get a gold digger. She'll give you peace of mind

If you broke, be a Player and avoid the parasites. they'll finish the little money you have.

Bills must not be split cause I believe Rich men belong to poor women and poor men belong to rich women. There must always be someone dominant. See how marriages between rich people don't last? And marriages between poor people are so full of misery?

monex:
standards are relative and not everyone values virginity.

That the woman "screwed up her life" is an assumption.
That she is someone else's reject is also an assumption.
that he does not know how she got pregnant is an assumption.

your conclusion that he doesn't respect himself is false-premised.

You, on the other hand, needs to learn to respect others

take your own advice and learn to respect me and my opinion

ubunja:
Why are you so determined to chase second-hand goods??

Is there a shortage of fresh girls willing to get married and start a family the proper way?

Gents let's have standards for once.

It's bad enough we're no longer marrying virgins. Now we have to marry women with kids?? C'mon!!!

you have a right to your standards as everyone should. Ladies encourage other ladies to have standards so I am okay with you "empowering" men.

The issue is about you making assumptions about single mothers (like that they are hoes and all) and those that date/marry them (that they have no self respect etc.).

frozen70:
It because of the nonsense culture that recognised men over women

Anybody can be a single parent and in every single mother, there is a single father

Marriage can be smooth at the beginning and get soured at the middle

No one wishes to be a single parent

But bear in mind that matured single mothers are better off than all these inexperienced ladies that gives men wahala

Love can take anyone to anywhere to meet anyone, at a stage in one's life, you have got to please yourself not the society

the bolded has no substance. There is negligible correlation between the experience of child birth and her giving a man wahala

Joystark:
Because some of them do not have sense.

... Hmmmm. What made you think so?.

Comment from someone in his late teens and early twenties
Abeg grow up quick

Mastalo:
It is only weak, frustrated, poor old guys that goes after evening newspaper because the fresh younger girls are too beautiful for them and they will feel insecure around them claiming immaturity while those young succulent girls are more matured in mind than them.

Many of them will now think it's all about money to get the young girls but it's not.

They will do anything to please the young girls but they are not into them, do you know why; because you are not attractive to her.

They will now go and settled for the old tired Mamas. (Second hand)

Guys, dress Sharp, don't just wear trouser and shirt, dress SHARP!

Girls will be fighting to have you.

Votukpa:
If a woman decides to walk out of a marriage with a child or had a child out of wedlock (worse) and any man agrees to date or marry her afterwards-she will never respect that man.

Ever.

She will forever resent him for his stupidity. She may pretend to love him (she has to since he will be footing bills and giving her social proof as well as being a step dad), but on the inside, she will loathe him for tolerating to be with her-thinking, "so, this is (me) the best you can do". Every woman (including single moms) wants a man to be better than her her in every sense. Any man agreeing to be with a divorced woman communicates to her that he isn't better than her, but only willing to be a tool.

Exactly. It is like a drug dealer, he wants the money from his addict, but hate the addict and want nothing to do with him. A woman always wants a man that other women want. Any man that settled with a single-mum has inadvertently signified that he is at the bottom of the social ladder, without any attractive women competing for him hence, he is settling for her. She will loathe him, as he is an evidence of the best she can attract, which contradict her hypergamous instinct.

monex:
you have a right to your standards as everyone should. Ladies encourage other ladies to have standards so I am okay with you "empowering" men.

The issue is about you making assumptions about single mothers (like that they are hoes and all) and those that date/marry them (that they have no self respect etc.).

I hope I don't piss you off by saying this - men who are in a committed relationship with a single mother have self esteem issues. Women are also aware of it too because out of the lots of better options, you considered them and their baggage. Men should understand the manipulative nature of women - they will stoop to conquer. Engaging in an emotional contest with women would only lead men to their grasp of women's control. You must rationalize women and their intentions at every phase of your life.

Michellekabod2:
m trying to point out that it is a win-win...why women do some stuff like leaving their husbands when he loses his job and he will not do likewise if she loses her job, women will not leave when he cheats,but he will leave....
Using it to cite an example that men aren't the only victilms in marriage

I don't understand your argument any more please.

pansophist:
Exactly. It is like a drug dealer, he wants the money from his addict, but hate the addict and want nothing to do with him. A woman always wants a man that other women want. Any man that settled with a single-mum has inadvertently signified that he is at the bottom of the social ladder, without any attractive women competing for him hence, he is settling for her. She will loathe him, as he is an evidence of the best she can attract, which contradict her hypergamous instinct.

Well said. I'm glad there are still rational thinking men. I was initially shocked by the comments I was reading. I also consider men in a committed relationship with single mothers to be logically incompetent and emotionally vulnerable. However, these men, as they get older become wiser but cannot undo the grave mistakes of the past. Now that's the sucker punch.

pansophist:
Exactly. It is like a drug dealer, he wants the money from his addict, but hate the addict and want nothing to do with him. A woman always wants a man that other women want. Any man that settled with a single-mum has inadvertently signified that he is at the bottom of the social ladder, without any attractive women competing for him hence, he is settling for her. She will loathe him, as he is an evidence of the best she can attract, which contradict her hypergamous instinct.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Very apt.

The question should be y re they single mother and what about the guy that made them single mother

Single mums have an attitude of using and dumping men, if she needs gas for her car she calls Jonathan, food she calls David Mark, sex she calls akpabio, a house or rent she calls tinubu, contract she calls mohammed, so if she wants another child she calls idibia to send his boxers, so where u want make the poor man stand, they simply say it on line they don't need any man, they have all they need. The good ones have been hurt and are taking time to heal that's all

because of single mother like joystark ,rude and insecure

tgh most of the single mothers out there are greedy and not really ready to love, all they care about is money, either they find a man to take care of her and her child or the go into prostitution. most of those ladies you see that prostitute themselves either online and in your neighborhood are single mothers.
Age doesn't matter, some single mothers are something else. its not really a balanced relationship for a single guy, all she want is take care of her and her kid, then her love for you comes next, mind you she will do everything to pls you once she knows you can foot her bills.
Though there are a few exceptions of single mothers, who are working without whoring around to take care of her personal bills.
You will need to deal with the fact that the baby daddy will always come around and she can't love you more than her kid.

cooluzi:
because of single mother like joystark ,rude and insecure

Keep mentioning me everywhere.