₦airaland Forum

AntiBrutus:
To the extent that I can help without struggling.

I always tell people, if you can't give without expecting anything in return, DON't GIVE.

Sometime ago, a friend came to me for 130k. She needed it to buy some things for her business. When she sent the message, I didn't reply fast, she thought I was probably ignoring. So, she sent a VN join...

When I read and listened to her VN, I replied "lol". Not like I was mocking her, but she was almost begging and swearing with her life.

I just told her to send her acct number. I couldn't even imagine her begging a guy like that, knowing how lots of our guys reason. Few wks later, she was back again. Don't forget she paid the former right on time.

I had to ask her this time, why struggling for working capital, lets see your books. That was how we became partners.

I've had another young man ask me for money for his sick mum medical bills, I gave it to him.

Way back in uni, I paid the sch fees of a colleague who was crushing and I didn't "love" him enough to date him.

Just yesterday, a friend was telling me I am too humane, he is scared people (guys to be specific) might take advantage of me. I told him not to worry, as much as I could be fcking generous- I am also VERY discerning.

The good news is, I have never begged my friends for financial help. But they are so nice that they sometimes ask if I have problems at all and I shouldn't hesistate to share when I do have one...

The cosmos has a way of settling people that are truly altruistic.

When it comes to giving, I like to think I see humans, not a gender. Though I am beginning to reconsider my stand.

Myhusband:
the only thing I don't like in that your post is your insincerity. you don't want anything to affect ya 2:1 hence why you don't want relationship or fall in love. if you haven't fall in love with the said lady why asked her your kind of friendship with her? why bothered with her blunt response of being in a platonic relations with you


in nutshell, if the lady had hide her intention and pretend to you, when you asked the baby question and she said you're in a friendship that might lead to marriage, I'm sure you wouldn't have open this thread before giving her the money


information you didn't pay for, 99.1% are the percentage of my female friends while male friends struggle to be 0.09% then in school. I smashed 80% of these ladies without toasting them.

I have nothing to say in regards to money, if you should give her money, it's ya choice. my male friend in school once gave a lady 50k to do shopping when food hard for me his guy to eat then

srclark:
oga does she not have a pussy she should go and bleep the guys she is not platonic friends with and her fees will be complete no let one girl use your head ooo she must have toasters nah even small girls can raise 30k in no time

ubunja:
amen.
Even if you fvck her still use sense.


You sir are my hero. You complete me.

darediamond:
"an helper"? You mean like a MAGA?
Aside sex, most Nigerian girls have nothing to offer.

Osobi32:
...... I just wonder how some guys think! Pls spare yourself the energy..... That guys is still naive about life. He puts sex first before anything and u can't change his mindset no matter how hard u try ok. I have a friend like that .

PrimadonnaO:
Better don't read nonsense written by a bunch of misguided sycophants and illusionists.

They create uncountable duplicate accounts cheering themselves... their fickle popularity lives and dies on romance section.

DateMynd44:
ubunja be like nairaland ladies don dey hate u oh lol.

btw what's up Primadonna congrats.
guess you're now serving, u studied in uniben abi? how's life over there?
we still dey here as uniben still dey bend us

Coolgent:

Well during my School days I once bought a 30k Nokia for my GF, she stylishly dumped me about 3 weeks later.
That thought me a lot

ubunja:
so a woman just has to be a woman to recieve help from you but a man has to be a "true" friend??

Listen to yourself...

If that woman was a true friend herself she would give you sex no questions asked. That's the meaning of Friends With Benefits.

Enyimbamercedes:
If her needs are genuine and you have the means then help her out for humanity sake and not all this platonic and erotic matter.

If you cannot, contact me via PM and i will give you 30k to give her and I will pay her fees for the rest of her studies.

PrimadonnaO:
How did you come about this?

DateMynd44:
lol u think nairaland is really a faceless forum?? you're not incognito dear

AntiBrutus:
To the extent that I can help without struggling.

I always tell people, if you can't give without expecting anything in return, DON't GIVE.

Sometime ago, a friend came to me for 130k. She needed it to buy some things for her business. When she sent the message, I didn't reply fast, she thought I was probably ignoring. So, she sent a VN join...

When I read and listened to her VN, I replied "lol". Not like I was mocking her, but she was almost begging and swearing with her life.

I just told her to send her acct number. I couldn't even imagine her begging a guy like that, knowing how lots of our guys reason. Few wks later, she was back again. Don't forget she paid the former right on time.

I had to ask her this time, why struggling for working capital, lets see your books. That was how we became partners.

I've had another young man ask me for money for his sick mum medical bills, I gave it to him.

Way back in uni, I paid the sch fees of a colleague who was crushing and I didn't "love" him enough to date him.

Just yesterday, a friend was telling me I am too humane, he is scared people (guys to be specific) might take advantage of me. I told him not to worry, as much as I could be fcking generous- I am also VERY discerning.

The good news is, I have never begged my friends for financial help. But they are so nice that they sometimes ask if I have problems at all and I shouldn't hesistate to share when I do have one...

The cosmos has a way of settling people that are truly altruistic.

When it comes to giving, I like to think I see humans, not a gender. Though I am beginning to reconsider my stand.

Auladimeji2:
Can you give your male friend(s) the 30k if they are need it like her,if you can't then na Ogun go pornish you

franugo:
i truly don't understand how we got here...imagine the question thrown by the op n the perceived solutions being bandied around by ubunja n co. I just weak i swear.
Humans are so selfish, we have lost our way.

Deepthoughts:
Personally I don't keep female platonic friends except professional colleagues,but there's nothing wrong in helping a nice soul,so if she is truly a good person,go ahead n help her, don't even mind her paying back,you can never tell tomorrow.

TheCar:
That is also a good point, which the OP can also advise her to do to raise fund for her education.

If she had a quality phone with good resale value, why not sell it for education.

The OP also replied a comment with this:

very close, before her challenges came up back then during 100level she calls and messages to Know how I'm faring, if I don't call for a week she complains that I've abandoned her I control her anyhow I wish, I do call to see her during odd hours at odd places and she obliges, anytime I asks to see her she has never for once given me excuses even when her schedule is tight she will still find a way to see me, drops loads of messages on WhatsApp and whenever I'm a day or two off Whatsapp she'll flash to know if I'm still alive lol, she says a week shouldn't pass without me calling thrice and a week shouldn't pass without us meeting up each other and she hasn't asked me of any financial assistance before even when she's out of data or airtime she won't ask, I'll only do that without her request and if at all I want to help I'll help because of all these stuff I've told u.

srclark:
oga does she not have a pussy she should go and bleep the guys she is not platonic friends with and her fees will be complete no let one girl use your head ooo she must have toasters nah even small girls can raise 30k in no time

DateMynd44:
sorry from your write up it looks like you're a female right?

Coolgent:

Well during my School days I once bought a 30k Nokia for my GF, she stylishly dumped me about 3 weeks later.
That thought me a lot

Truthsbitter:
look, i am a mixed personality (spiritual and logical). if you find it hard to understand something I wrote, call me back on the lines that are complex.
Okay let's consider these questions with sincerity before I say the truth.

Would your platonic friend do the same for you if the positions were reversed ?
Would you help any other friend with that amount if you find them in same position as your platonic friend?
If the answers to these questions are negative then consider yourself manipulated by your emotions and by the force of attraction within her personality. And if this is true then you are about to give wrongly.
(Giving in itself isn't bad but most male are too weak to see that emotional manipulation is draining them off everything. Their resources, affections, time, compassion , care...etc. they waste almost everything for unrighteous emotions).
Proverbs 25:28 KJV
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Women most times don't attach conscience to their judgement, that's why they can dump any relationship coldly at any point in time(If you like kneel down in public to propose marriage or in the presence of your father, they will decline once their heart isn't there but if you find out about the matter you would come to the findings that all the time while they remained in such relationship they would make the man feel so good that he would have spent his life and resources on them not knowing he is being played all along. foolish men). men are the ones who consider these things and so it is easy to manipulate these men by their conscience. But if your conscience aligns with the unsentimental truth within you, then you may offer help irrespective of any manipulation (it would sure backfire against the guilty in the end "the one who manipulates to extort the other. if there is", for you have cleared your conscience rightly).

If you decide to help her, help her because you are aware of her problems and you have DECIDED to help, not because you FEEL you should help. your help won't be a blessing if it was controlled by just your emotions and not by the truth of the matter. it is better to give your cash to a beggar than to give your cash to a platonic (girl)friend, if truly the beggar needs the cash more.

Lastly I will tell you this. a girl who wants a platonic relationship with you is probably a manipulative girl than a truthful girl. Here is how it goes; If she has something intellectual to add to you, it's good. If she has a good character to imbibe in you, it's good. if she can support you financially , it's good. if she can ease your stress by sex or romance it's good (Any one of the above benefit is good , if at least she can tender any, but unfortunately most Nigerian girls don't have any to give except for sex, which is why most guys who know them insist on sex before they tender any form of help to a Nigerian girl). otherwise she wants you around cause she wants to manipulate you into being her maga whom will not only spend his cash but his emotions, intellect, time and so much more on her and then she dumps you as soon as she grows past your value .

Love seems to have proved over time to be the strongest emotional force because it seems to create more than it destroys, and all other emotions are mainly viewed as destructive, but when one grows into higher level of awareness one finds that all emotional forces could be rightly channeled and to do so is to become emotionally balanced. Balance is the key.
Proverbs 16:32 KJV
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

truthsbitter

DateMynd44:
When a girl says she's in a platonic friendship with you, what does she really mean?

Is it just Casual friends with no relationship attached or Closed and deep friends to confide in with no emotions or affections or love relationship that you both are dating but absence of sex?

well I got a friend I asked her to define our friendship and she said we are just in a platonic friendship that's all. Though I like it that way cos I don't want any distractions as I don dey near to finish school so I'm battling how I'll shoot from this boundary 2:1 to first class which seems to be a Herculean task so dating and engaging on all those stuff may dampen my goal now.


Okay straight to the point, so this girl that told me we are nothing but platonic friends has some financial issues as she hasn't paid her fees as her parents are financially drained (dad got sacked, mom's business isn't flowing) so she risked suspending her studies cos she couldn't register her courses and the school fees is 50k (Course registration inclusive) and she had to struggle and hustle during the holidays and earned 20k and now needs 30k to complete an pay her fees and register her courses.

I long paid mine and there's this work that entered for me an I had 50k gain and tho I don't have any pressing needs except to boost my wardrobe and save the cash or by my mumsy a present.... But my mind and conscience is irking me that I should send her the 30k and help her out but that money is too much to give out to a platonic friend that I'm not sure I'll marry, so I should just start taking care of someone's future wife Due to the issues she's passing thru she may not be able to pay back.
so guys what's your advice in this? what's the extent of help u can give a platonic friend?
Had it been u were in my shoes would you lease out such amount of money to a platonic friend without refund

cc ubunja truthsbitter luvyaself95 dairrykid

grandstar:
He that is showing favour to the lowly one is lending to Jehovah and He will repay

The good Samaritan was not a Jew and the 2 races despiced each other. Yet, the Samaritan went out of his way to help not only a complete stranger but a Jew at that.

Help her out. Jehovah who looks on in secret will repay. Let it be a totally private matter.

DateMynd44:
if a girl tells u that she is in a friendship with you that she wants the friendship to lead to marriage what does it mean
pls give me hints