greggng:



You are a selfcentred person. You can only get blessed when you help without expecting anything. Infact I visited my ex in her school ...as I was driving out I saw a lady crying and I requested to know why she was crying ...I was able to find out from some students that she will not be allowed to sit for exam the next day...I took her to the nearest atm and withdrew the whole cash plus additional cash for her personal need....she was so happy ...seeing that happiness in her face made me happy...atleast I have done something nice. There is a difference btw you not having and having and not helping. Help without any strings attached and you will reap the reward in a great way. That lady might be your saviour tomorrow. I practice what I preach.

I know the op, though he wouldn't know who this is. To say I'm very disappointed in him is an understatement. And this is someone that preaches every times oh.

But as they say, when the mask is off, then you see the real face. This is his real face, and I realise it's not one I want to keep in my circle.

DateMynd44:
When a girl says she's in a platonic friendship with you, what does she really mean?

Is it just Casual friends with no relationship attached or Closed and deep friends to confide in with no emotions or affections or love relationship that you both are dating but absence of sex?

well I got a friend I asked her to define our friendship and she said we are just in a platonic friendship that's all. Though I like it that way cos I don't want any distractions as I don dey near to finish school so I'm battling how I'll shoot from this boundary 2:1 to first class which seems to be a Herculean task so dating and engaging on all those stuff may dampen my goal now.


Okay straight to the point, so this girl that told me we are nothing but platonic friends has some financial issues as she hasn't paid her fees as her parents are financially drained (dad got sacked, mom's business isn't flowing) so she risked suspending her studies cos she couldn't register her courses and the school fees is 50k (Course registration inclusive) and she had to struggle and hustle during the holidays and earned 20k and now needs 30k to complete an pay her fees and register her courses.

I long paid mine and there's this work that entered for me an I had 50k gain and tho I don't have any pressing needs except to boost my wardrobe and save the cash or by my mumsy a present.... But my mind and conscience is irking me that I should send her the 30k and help her out but that money is too much to give out to a platonic friend that I'm not sure I'll marry, so I should just start taking care of someone's future wife Due to the issues she's passing thru she may not be able to pay back.
so guys what's your advice in this? what's the extent of help u can give a platonic friend?
Had it been u were in my shoes would you lease out such amount of money to a platonic friend without refund

cc ubunja truthsbitter luvyaself95 dairrykid

@Op, one thing you have to know is that you can never go wrong by listening to the voice of your conscience. But your problem is that you have conditioned your mind to see any help you may extend to her as some kind of an 'investment' in which you expect something in return. When it comes to giving, and helping people in need, this is a very wrong mindset to have. Stop seeing that girl as someone who you may never date, may never have sex with and may never marry in future & start seeing her as a fellow human being who is in need & whose education is at stake. That's how come you can be able to help her...Remember that whatever we sow we will surely reap. If you sow kindness, you will reap kindness, if you sow help to someone who is in need without attaching any strings to it; you will reap same, it's just a matter of time. And most times the harvest reaped is usually more than the seed sown.

You are still very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. So be wise!

DateMynd44:


the question is "if it was a guy crying so would u have offered to help the exact way u helped this unknown crying lady?

cc castro316

I treat everyone equally ...infact most of the guys in my department I do assist them in payment of tuition fee. Recently one of them called me all the way from Abuja and requested my account number...according to him , he said he won't forget in a hurry how I use to buy him hand out and pay his fees....that now he has got a big job is pay back time. He is Yoruba while I am Edo...before you say cos he is same place from u. Let me also tell you that i was not born with golden spoon...I couldn't even pay for my GCE it was a good Samaritan that did that for me during my time...the point I am making is help without syringe attached and watch God surprise from all corners

Chai....the love of most will grow cold(matt 24:12) my brother please forget about friendship, this is an opportunity to show someone that God is love, why not grab it!!!. What about waking up tomorrow to hear that she committed suicide because of that burden?

DateMynd44:
When a girl says she's in a platonic friendship with you, what does she really mean?

Is it just Casual friends with no relationship attached or Closed and deep friends to confide in with no emotions or affections or love relationship that you both are dating but absence of sex?

well I got a friend I asked her to define our friendship and she said we are just in a platonic friendship that's all. Though I like it that way cos I don't want any distractions as I don dey near to finish school so I'm battling how I'll shoot from this boundary 2:1 to first class which seems to be a Herculean task so dating and engaging on all those stuff may dampen my goal now.


Okay straight to the point, so this girl that told me we are nothing but platonic friends has some financial issues as she hasn't paid her fees as her parents are financially drained (dad got sacked, mom's business isn't flowing) so she risked suspending her studies cos she couldn't register her courses and the school fees is 50k (Course registration inclusive) and she had to struggle and hustle during the holidays and earned 20k and now needs 30k to complete an pay her fees and register her courses.

I long paid mine and there's this work that entered for me an I had 50k gain and tho I don't have any pressing needs except to boost my wardrobe and save the cash or by my mumsy a present.... But my mind and conscience is irking me that I should send her the 30k and help her out but that money is too much to give out to a platonic friend that I'm not sure I'll marry, so I should just start taking care of someone's future wife Due to the issues she's passing thru she may not be able to pay back.
so guys what's your advice in this? what's the extent of help u can give a platonic friend?
Had it been u were in my shoes would you lease out such amount of money to a platonic friend without refund

cc ubunja truthsbitter luvyaself95 dairrykid

You can help a friend...u don't need to come here for advice...check ur signature...jesus is the only saviour...so if u believe this ..pls stand up for other people's salvation if u can..God go pay u back

DateMynd44:
why I go give them

Then Ogun "pornish" you... like em talk

ubunja:
I don't give a girl money who has never given me pussy. Unless it's a relative. Unless she gave me money first.

That's just me.

Better the platonic friendship die.

If konji was killing you would the platonic friend rescue you and open her legs?? Ask yourself that. If she'll never open her legs for you, there's no reason for you to open your wallet for her.
Again. That's just me.

A girl must not give you pussy to Bleep b4 helping her, just try to give because is good to give and never forget that he who gives never lacks.

Elamin21:
A girl must not give you pussy to Bleep b4 helping her, just try to give because is good to give and never forget that he who gives never lacks.

what's the name of the fairy tale you refering to?

Aparche:


@Op, one thing you have to know is that you can never go wrong by listening to the voice of your conscience. But your problem is that you have conditioned your mind to see any help you may extend to her as some kind of an 'investment' in which you expect something in return. When it comes to giving, and helping people in need, this is a very wrong mindset to have. Stop seeing that girl as someone who you may never date, may never have sex with and may never marry in future & start seeing her as a fellow human being who is in need & whose education is at stake. That's how come you can be able to help her...Remember that whatever we sow we will surely reap. If you sow kindness, you will reap kindness, if you sow help to someone who is in need without attaching any strings to it; you will reap same, it's just a matter of time. And most times the harvest reaped is usually more than the seed sown.

You are still very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. So be wise!

truth is without that "investment" mind-set, more than 90% of men would never give women anything.

Why do you think guys find it so hard to help each other. But rush to do things for women?

ubunja:
what's the name of the fairy tale you refering to?

Since i've known you i have stop doing this and it has save me a lot.

* If i ask you out and you reject, we can never be friends,when they ask why, i'd reply with if i wanted friendship i would have proposed that not dating. because i have come to understand, that's the Genesis of platonic friendship*

ubunja:
what's the name of the fairy tale you refering to?

can't u read?

Elamin21:
A girl must not give you pussy to Bleep b4 helping her, just try to give because is good to give and never forget that he who gives never lacks.

Two can play the game..
same way this hoes can't give you pussy without billing you.. is same way we shouldn't give them money without pussy-billing them..
since that's all their useless ass have to offer

Abeos:


Even though I'm not that so on the financial top level, I've had instances to give to both genders without anything in return and this seems to have helped me as I've never been that broke not to meet my basic needs till this point of my life, though still hoping for better. However, I'll like to ask what's making you consider your stabd

Because I have noticed most guys won't do same, at least without some level of stereotyping.

Heck! I had one ask for a whooping 400k and of course my instinct said "red flag", we only just met. Then he started playing the gender card- "Nigerian girls are stingy"

I threw it back at his face because Lord knows if tables were turned, he would rush to create a thread on NL.

Now, before I give one guy, with the exception of family and those in my circle who have been trusted and tested, I must have given 100 females...

Elamin21:
can't u read?

I can ask you the same question.

PUSSYHOE:
Since i've known you i have stop doing this and it has save me a lot.

* If i ask you out and you reject, we can never be friends,when they ask why, i'd reply with if i wanted friendship i would have proposed that not dating. because i have come to understand, that's the Genesis of platonic friendship*

and you know the other name for Platonic Friendship Between Man And Woman? -----> FRIENDZONE.

DateMynd44:
When a girl says she's in a platonic friendship with you, what does she really mean?

Is it just Casual friends with no relationship attached or Closed and deep friends to confide in with no emotions or affections or love relationship that you both are dating but absence of sex?

well I got a friend I asked her to define our friendship and she said we are just in a platonic friendship that's all. Though I like it that way cos I don't want any distractions as I don dey near to finish school so I'm battling how I'll shoot from this boundary 2:1 to first class which seems to be a Herculean task so dating and engaging on all those stuff may dampen my goal now.


Okay straight to the point, so this girl that told me we are nothing but platonic friends has some financial issues as she hasn't paid her fees as her parents are financially drained (dad got sacked, mom's business isn't flowing) so she risked suspending her studies cos she couldn't register her courses and the school fees is 50k (Course registration inclusive) and she had to struggle and hustle during the holidays and earned 20k and now needs 30k to complete an pay her fees and register her courses.

I long paid mine and there's this work that entered for me an I had 50k gain and tho I don't have any pressing needs except to boost my wardrobe and save the cash or by my mumsy a present.... But my mind and conscience is irking me that I should send her the 30k and help her out but that money is too much to give out to a platonic friend that I'm not sure I'll marry, so I should just start taking care of someone's future wife Due to the issues she's passing thru she may not be able to pay back.
so guys what's your advice in this? what's the extent of help u can give a platonic friend?
Had it been u were in my shoes would you lease out such amount of money to a platonic friend without refund

cc ubunja truthsbitter luvyaself95 dairrykid

Am going to give you this testimony not necessarily to change ur mind but to tell you that there is nothing and good as helping people without expecting anything in return.
Someone close to me last year was in a bank's ATM queue about to make a withdrawal when he noticed an old man making calls repeatedly pleading with someone to please transfer 3k to him.the person kept delaying and the old man was almost exhausted from the repeated pleadings.my friend was just watching what was happening while still in the queue.so when it came to his turn(my friend),he made his withdrawal he went to the old man and gave him the 3k.the old man thanked him so much and was almost in tears.my friend now left the bank while the man rushed off to solve whatever was his problem with the 3k.surprising that evening my friend got a call from a childhood friend of his who he rendered help before,but later travelled out.the friend thanked him for everything and told him that he will send something for him to show his appreciation. This guy sent a whopping three thousand dollars to him(heaven bear me witness).as in 1,050,000 or thereabout.so that money changed that guy's life as par his hustle.so just help that lady if you can.infact I prefer helping people who can't be able to pay me back cos that one nah the best.i have worked through past a door because of a help I rendered.there is no religion that is greater than charity.
Sex had fouled the heart of humans that we now feel that it's a reward for good done to an opposite sex,please my dear delete that mindset.she is ur platonic friend doesn't mean that favour or blessings wouldn't come from her someday.fashy some of these irrelevant lies these guys are telling you and listen to ur human pure mind.

Peace!

He shouldn't give, no need for long story. I thank God for parents that could provide.

I also thank Him for contentment.

LordAdam16:


If you learn nothing else

Actually, it is different for guys.

Analogies

Here's the closest analogy.

90+% of the guys who hit a lady up think they're entitled to the lady's cooch if she responds favorably. In like manner, 90+% of ladies think they're entitled to whatever is in a guy's wallet if they have a positive interaction.

As such, just as most ladies set a criteria before they'd let a guy hit; most guys set a criteria before they'd let a lady spend their money.

In a perfect world, guys would be altruistic with money. But alas we're living in the jaundiced timeline. Even then guys are usually altruistic with things that are just as valuable such as their time, advice, information... Just not money.

Here's another analogy.

Imagine doing domestic duties (I mean the whole nine yards including coitus, laundry, housekeeping, nanny, being a board to bounce off ideas, religiously checking up...) for a guy who spends most of his waking hours (and whatever faint resources to his name) "on top another girl matter." That's close to how a guy feels when he has to spend on a lady that's beholden to some other guy elsewhere who he has never and has no chance of getting intimate with.

You might retort with the idea that this is a false equivalence. But factually, it isn't.

F*ck Economics

For most ladies, you inclusive, the cooch is the ultimate present. Only "deserving" individuals have a go. Fair enough. The only issue is that the price a lady quotes is different for different guys.

You see, the spot price for an ounce of gold is the same everywhere. If it changes, it changes for everybody.

But economics is too logical for ladies.

Same cooch a lady says is priceless (aka we're platonic; no chance in hell that happens) to one guy; is the:
Same cooch same lady would pass off as worth 2 or 3 dates at a $5 restaurant to the guy's friend who in most respects is at the first guy's level.
Same cooch same lady would offer for a iPhone, house rent, an expensive vacation, or a large sum to a more well-off guy.
Same cooch same lady would offer for nothing to some guy who she's just in the hots for.

All the while with the entitlement mentality that each of those guys should be totally fine with meeting whatever request she makes (well except the last guy who gets a d*ck pass) if she thinks the guy is capable.

We're talking about Money, Ms. Entitlement

This is why I find it perplexing when ladies find it difficult to reconcile that a guy simply can't give them MONEY with zero expectations.

For the love of all things sacred, we're talking about money here. You know that one thing that makes the world go round. 85% of criminals the world over gave up their freedom for it. Millions more are sacrificing their freedom for it.

Maybe if we're talking about spare clothes, 20 minutes of one's time, expertise on a pressing issue; then yea, why not; ask away. But uhm, MONEY!

A guy can dream

I mean you have guy friends who "sometimes ask if [you] have problems at all and [tell you, you] shouldn't hesistate to share when [you] do have one..." If guys heard that from ladies, there'd be no space for statues in Imo. Guys can only imagine what it'd be like if every female on their contact/friend list was a potential helper.

Like you just ask them for money and then they're obligated to give it to you if they have without any strings attached. If they don't, then they're some selfish a$$hole who thinks only with her punnany.

Let's be real

The interesting part is that most guys have spent on ladies they did not having anything with at the time. It may not be an amount so large they have to take a loan, but significant enough that it elicits a thank you from the recipient.

And besides, even if a guy has a bank account balance that's larger than China's foreign reserves, why should he feed this wack, lopsided narrative on principle?

Final words

In a nutshell, regardless of gender, there's no right or wrong answer to a request for a favor. Doubly so when it's a female asking a male to which she does not have a consanguineous, sexual or romantic attachment. If he says he doesn't have, he doesn't have. It doesn't matter if you are his account officer. If he states either clearly or slyly that the lack of either of the three aforementioned attachments is the reason for his refusal; appreciate him for his honesty and move on.

Guys learn this in our formative years. That's why we mocked our friends when they bought confectioneries for a girl after telling us they're broke. Ladies blatantly refuse to learn it.

PS

And for the guys who've had help from ladies who they'd helped in the past with no strings attached. Well, if my pops and ma hadn't done the deed on the exact day they did, I wouldn't have existed and you wouldn't be reading this message. Life's too short to be ar*ed about a shoulda, coulda, woulda situation.

-Lord

bezimo:
If na guy..I will try my best, at least he won't ever forget that you helped him..but if na girl..I will try very little because from the book of experience chapter 1 vs 1..Girls forget in a hurry the help rendered to them.

not always true... I helped a male friend with 50k for him to add to what he has and pay his school fees... The guy later bleeped up big time... ( I don't want to explain what he did...) But e for better say I use that money take fvck ashawo although I am not the ashawo fvcking type...) These days I give because I feel lead and it's convenient for me to give not because any manipulations or whatever...

darediamond:
"an helper"? You mean like a MAGA?
Aside sex, most Nigerian girls have nothing to offer.

Not True. You'll attract the kind of person you are. I've met wonderful and brilliant ladies. If all a lady has to offer is sex, then it means something is wrong with we the guys as well. It's not a one sided issue at all

Hisduchess:


Am going to give you this testimony not necessarily to change ur mind but to tell you that there is nothing and good as helping people without expecting anything in return.
Someone close to me last year was in a bank's ATM queue about to make a withdrawal when he noticed an old man making calls repeatedly pleading with someone to please transfer 3k to him.the person kept delaying and the old man was almost exhausted from the repeated pleadings.my friend was just watching what was happening while still in the queue.so when it came to his turn(my friend),he made his withdrawal he went to the old man and gave him the 3k.the old man thanked him so much and was almost in tears.my friend now left the bank while the man rushed off to solve whatever was his problem with the 3k.surprising that evening my friend got a call from a childhood friend of his who he rendered help before,but later travelled out.the friend thanked him for everything and told him that he will send something for him to show his appreciation. This guy sent a whopping three thousand dollars to him(heaven bear me witness).as in 1,050,000 or thereabout.so that money changed that guy's life as par his hustle.so just help that lady if you can.infact I prefer helping people who can't be able to pay me back cos that one nah the best.i have worked through past a door because of a help I rendered.there is no religion that is greater than charity.
Sex had fouled the heart of humans that we now feel that it's a reward for good done to an opposite sex,please my dear delete that mindset.she is ur platonic friend doesn't mean that favour or blessings wouldn't come from her someday.fashy some of these irrelevant lies these guys are telling you and listen to ur human pure mind.

Peace!

Thank you very much. God bless you for charging me up thru this

Aparche:


@Op, one thing you have to know is that you can never go wrong by listening to the voice of your conscience. But your problem is that you have conditioned your mind to see any help you may extend to her as some kind of an 'investment' in which you expect something in return. When it comes to giving, and helping people in need, this is a very wrong mindset to have. Stop seeing that girl as someone who you may never date, may never have sex with and may never marry in future & start seeing her as a fellow human being who is in need & whose education is at stake. That's how come you can be able to help her...Remember that whatever we sow we will surely reap. If you sow kindness, you will reap kindness, if you sow help to someone who is in need without attaching any strings to it; you will reap same, it's just a matter of time. And most times the harvest reaped is usually more than the seed sown.

You are still very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. So be wise!

wow! mehn thanks for this piece!!

Myhusband:



it means a simple date. she want a sincere relationship but before she would commit herself, she want to be sure if you indeed have a serious and sincere feelings for her.

in nutshell, a date that required thorough examination

thanks a lot. that's what she said tho.

Still you can lend her and ask her to pay back @her convenience

babyfaceafrica:
she is a female a.k.a pocohantas

really? mehn una dey sabi track people oh and that pocohantas talks a lot, she's a well known loquacious entity.

DateMynd44:
When a girl says she's in a platonic friendship with you, what does she really mean?

Is it just Casual friends with no relationship attached or Closed and deep friends to confide in with no emotions or affections or love relationship that you both are dating but absence of sex?

well I got a friend I asked her to define our friendship and she said we are just in a platonic friendship that's all. Though I like it that way cos I don't want any distractions as I don dey near to finish school so I'm battling how I'll shoot from this boundary 2:1 to first class which seems to be a Herculean task so dating and engaging on all those stuff may dampen my goal now.


Okay straight to the point, so this girl that told me we are nothing but platonic friends has some financial issues as she hasn't paid her fees as her parents are financially drained (dad got sacked, mom's business isn't flowing) so she risked suspending her studies cos she couldn't register her courses and the school fees is 50k (Course registration inclusive) and she had to struggle and hustle during the holidays and earned 20k and now needs 30k to complete an pay her fees and register her courses.

I long paid mine and there's this work that entered for me an I had 50k gain and tho I don't have any pressing needs except to boost my wardrobe and save the cash or by my mumsy a present.... But my mind and conscience is irking me that I should send her the 30k and help her out but that money is too much to give out to a platonic friend that I'm not sure I'll marry, so I should just start taking care of someone's future wife Due to the issues she's passing thru she may not be able to pay back.
so guys what's your advice in this? what's the extent of help u can give a platonic friend?
Had it been u were in my shoes would you lease out such amount of money to a platonic friend without refund

cc ubunja truthsbitter luvyaself95 dairrykid

Help her for the sake of Allah
Goodness does not consist in turning your face towards East or West. The truly good are those who believe in God and the Last Day, in the angels, the Scripture, and the prophets; who give away some of their wealth, however much they cherish it, to their relatives, to orphans, the needy, travelers and beggars and to liberate those in debt and bondage; those who keep up the prayers and pay the prescribed alms; who keep pledges whenever they make them; who are steadfast in misfortune, adversity and times of danger. These are the ones who are true, and it is they who are aware of God. (Al Quran 2:178)

Indeed, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression. He admonished you that you may take heed. (Al Quran 16:91)

And as for those who strive in Our path — We will surely guide them in Our ways. And Indeed, Allah is with those who are of service to others. (Al Quran 29:70)

Indeed, Allah is with those who are righteous and those who do good. (Al Quran 16:129)

The reward of goodness is nothing but goodness. (Al Quran 55:61)

O ye people! fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and created therefrom its mate, and from them twain spread many men and women; and fear Allah, in Whose name you appeal to one another, and be mindful of your duty to Allah, particularly respecting ties of relationship. Verily, Allah watches over you. (Al Quran 4:2)

O ye people! fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and created therefrom its mate, and from them twain spread many men and women; and fear Allah, in Whose name you appeal to one another, and be mindful of your duty to Allah, particularly respecting ties of relationship. Verily, Allah watches over you. (Al Quran 4:2)

And good and evil are not alike. Repel evil with that which is best. And lo, he between whom and thyself was enmity will become as though he were a warm friend. But none is granted it save those who are steadfast; and none is granted it save those who possess a large share of good. (Al Quran 41:35-36)

Those who spend in prosperity and adversity, and those who suppress anger and pardon men; and Allah loves those who do good. (Al Quran 3:135)

So Allah gave them the reward of this world, as also an excellent reward of the next; and Allah loves those who do good. (Al Quran 3:149)

And who is better in faith than he who submits himself to Allah, and he is a doer of good, and follows the religion of Abraham, the upright? And Allah took Abraham for a special friend. (Al Quran 4:126)

And be thou steadfast; for surely, Allah suffers not the reward of the righteous to perish. (Al Quran 11:116)

And he who submits himself completely to Allah, and is a doer of good, he has surely grasped a strong handle. And with Allah rests the end of all affairs. (Al Quran 31:23)

Thus indeed do We reward those who do good. (Al Quran 37:81)

But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the Home of the Hereafter, then truly Allah has prepared for those of you who do good a great reward.’ (Al Quran 33:30)

This is enough brother help for the sake of Allah and not humans and their favours, humans are stupid.

PrimadonnaO:


Lol. I can imagine how you knew. Well, I'm done with service... thanks for congratulating me.

Enjoy the bending while it lasts... I have no regrets getting "bent." It has so far given me the leverage to face life equipped.


By the way, if I have to contribute to your original post, I'd say help out if you truly can afford to part with that money. Take it as a seed sown... but have no expectations from her. People really do go through tough times. We should be good for goodness sake. Just for goodness sake. At least you already know it's legitimate need and she's working her ass if to make up the money.


But it would be important to let her know it's a one-off gesture and you may not be in a position to help her further financially in the future. State this to her very clearly, so she doesn't make the error of having continued financial expectations from you.

aspirebig:
Beware of fake promises on the internet people.

We are talking serious matter here, someone will say dm pls, I will pay the 30k and her school fees till Phd..,,Na e easy ni??

lol u follow see the guy comment?
lol he get money na, if u con mail am now na so he no go refuse reply till infinity

luvyaself95:
haha sharp nigga...

hehehe that srclark na bad guy lol

is better to give your cash to a beggar than to give your cash to a platonic (girl)friend, if truly the beggar needs the cash more.

Give girl money first, that is heartbreak 101.Except she is your gf, wife or relation.


They are bunch of ingrates.

Is not worth it.

I better give the money to motherless babies home.

AntiBrutus:


Because I have noticed most guys won't do same, at least without some level of stereotyping.

Heck! I had one ask for a whooping 400k and of course my instinct said "red flag", we only just met. Then he started playing the gender card- "Nigerian girls are stingy"

I threw it back at his face because Lord knows if tables were turned, he would rush to create a thread on NL.

Now, before I give one guy, with the exception of family and those in my circle who have been trusted and tested, I must have given 100 females...

Waoh. I understand your sentiments though, we've been wired to always to expect something in return for every favour.