₦airaland Forum

justtryme:
All of you commenting here that the sister shouldn't take in doesn't understand the op, you didn't understand the brother. Must he spell out everything,

His sister is simply an "OLOSHO" a strong one at that. What is she doing in the club every night sleeping with different men.
The best option is to take in for the guy man, 3 months won't kill her. If the guy doesn't show interest after that then she can abort.

Hgt

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

What's the guarantee that she will even taken in?
What makes you think the "cute guy"(smh) is as responsible as you think?
Are you not aware that getting a Naija baby is an assurance for these guys.......they come up with stories on why she can't join him yet much later. She ends looking after his parents and becoming a target for daily bullying by his siblings ( not always the case Sha).
The crux of the matter is this: December is less than 3 months away. Why can't he wait?
Last last, her decision to make but tell her say no be who make call de always cut the call.

JeffreyJames:
I wonder who came up with the idea that being married means "settling down" . What an irony lol


OP when condition don dey enter to getting married, e get as e be o. Is the guy marrying her for the sole purpose of bearing children or he is marrying her because he loves her?

As for me that "take in" before getting married is HorseSh*t. I believe the guy knows how desperate your sister is to "settle down" so he is taking advantage. She should not give in. Make small respect still remain.

Bros u r So wrong.. travel abroad n waste ur time in white women bearing kids...
then go understand the guy plight ooo.
awon judge of the jungle...

Her refusal to get pregnant for the man is that the mistake?
I cn see u really dnt love ur sis.u just said she takes care of her kids alone.
Have u asked ur self these questions.
What if the man turns his back at her when she get pregnant.
What if his man only wants the child and not the mother.
Do u knw the emotional truma ur dia will face if things didnt work the way u think.
My dear,the man that loves a woman ,wants companionship ist before kids.

First what is your business in your sisters affairs, second she is not barren so the man should pay his dowry, I don't know why you want to make her look cheap,abi have you been bribed..You think going to London is a big deal ni,please reformat your brain and mind your business.

I support your sister. If the dude is real let him do the necessary thing before birth.op u smoke ni.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

She should stop clubbing and hangong out with other friends and guys. If it is the price to pay to marry an abroad based man that price isn’t too much.

let her be because she exactly know what she is doing better than you do .You encourage her to get another child out to the present one she already had .what if the guy change his mind after the baby .Your sister is protective out of experience. To me,that guy is not genuine because no responsible man today will like to have a child out with another woman before marriage .Big scam await your sister if you push her beyond limit she can't hold but to agree.

Not really good advice to asked your sister to get pregnant before marriage for fear of losing a man. If the man love your sister he should wait till December or marry her now,pay her pride price and do the ceremony on December and the real advice to your sister now is to stay away bad behaviour and assure the man of good behaviour.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

Dear Op, we do not see things the way they are but we all see things the way we are.

Having established that, what job/business gives your potential in-law the privilege of travelling for more than 3months vacation? In that discovery lies your answer even though I think you're just another low budget joro

1) You said U.K. and then states, which is which?

2) I question the sanity of anyone that takes a woman abroad.

Argue with yourself, my pastor adviced me not to argue on Sunday’s

seguno2:
You are assuming that she is disciplined enough to reject the baiting

I don't see any baiting here. She was fooled into loving and trusting to the point of even revealing her dirty past.
Once you love somebody truly loads of near impossibilities become possible.
That guy was just PURE EVIL. He just ruined her life for ever.

Biingoo:
But they're fools now. Una no dey use ear hear abroad

Pls spare me. I know how many abroad guys I've blocked. I don't tolerate nonsense

I intentionally do not like commenting on issues like this.
What I think is, your sister, the guy in question and her lifestyle are all intertwined.

It is very foolish for any responsible man to find a responsible wife in any of these places:hotels, night club, strip club and any other nocturnal club for that matter.
No man and woman who are responsible will go to such venues in the name of entertainment and enjoyment and still find a wife or husband they can trust.
Check out those who find their spouses in such places.
Their marriages do not last.

Like they say birds if the same feather flock together.

Let no man or woman deceive himself or herself you can't find any responsible spouse going to clubs.
Even someone says there are chances of finding a responsible, respectful, faithful and caring spouse there is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

So,you and your sister and your would be in law should look for some other reasonable thing to do.

Even I won't trust your sister or trust your would be in law and I would even trust you from the way you are sounding

Sister/brother you're the one making mistake here, your sister is doing the right thing, if the guy truly loves her, he'll pay for her dowry and get her preg sooner, better wait until when he pays in December

the guy should be scared of not losing her to someone else, if he truly loves her he'll try harder to make her his wife and get her pregnant

leave your sister alone she's on the right part.

you sound desperate.

Khaleell001:
I intentionally do not like commenting on issues like this.
What I think is, your sister, the guy in question and her lifestyle are all intertwined.

It is very foolish for any responsible man to find a responsible wife in any of these places:hotels, night club, strip club and any other nocturnal club for that matter.
No man and woman who are responsible will go to such venues in the name of entertainment and enjoyment and still find a wife or husband they can trust.
Check out those who find their spouses in such places.
Their marriages do not last.

Like they say birds if the same feather flock together.

Let no man or woman deceive himself or herself you can't find any responsible spouse going to clubs.
Even someone says there are chances of finding a responsible, respectful, faithful and caring spouse there is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

So,you and your sister and your would be in law should look for some other reasonable thing to do.

Even I won't trust your sister or trust your would be in law and I would even trust you from the way you are sounding

overrated comment, where's the best place to find a good wife, church? mosque? or in the village?
oga/madam this your comment enh! so there are criteria of where one could find a good wife?

oyinda1599:
God!.... Who are u pls?

You dead mind hat idiot. Already having 2 kids is a more reason not to even have more kids until she is sure of he's intentions.

To my own opinion!!!

The cute guy man already has a white lover in UK, which he use in securing the bag and getting visa. But now the man want to be serious with life, it either his parents are pestering him to bring a wife home. If your sister dare to get pregnant for him, he Will surely come up with a story to abandon her in naija. But he will be sending money from time to time for her upkeep. Definitely the guy man needs a naija based Babymama

Be wise man !!!!

JeffreyJames:
I wonder who came up with the idea that being married means "settling down" . What an irony lol


OP when condition don dey enter to getting married, e get as e be o. Is the guy marrying her for the sole purpose of bearing children or he is marrying her because he loves her?

As for me that "take in" before getting married is HorseSh*t. I believe the guy knows how desperate your sister is to "settle down" so he is taking advantage. She should not give in. Make small respect still remain.

I agree with you. Funny enough, the sister herself doesn't seem to be as desperate as the OP. It's the OP that seems to be wanting to push her sister into desperation.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

This is a scam post. This was posted in 2017 with the exact same words


https://www.nairaland.com/3713654/please-sister-verge-making-worst

Check it out.

Nonsense

See another one

https://www.nairaland.com/4482312/divorcee-make-biggest-mistake-life

Your sister is not making any mistake of her life rather it is you Mr poster her brother that is selfish and wicked. You are a wicked brother because you are interested in what you will gain because the guy PROMISED to take your sister abroad.Must you get pregnant for a man before he marry you? If he truly love your sister why not do the right thing before taking her abroad? How does getting pregnant for the guy give assurance that the guy will marry her or take her abroad? You want to push your sister to another baby daddy that has oyibo children and wife abroad. Bros don't pressurise your sister abeg leave her alone. Stop being greedy because of material things and what you want to benefit. That guy has no good plan for your sister. His intention is to have Nigerian children because he already have children with white woman. Save your sister from another trauma and run away baby daddy. Say no to greed.

please advice the op...

she is the one in play...

The problem with Nigerian marriages is greediness and selfishness. If a man is overseas,he is already the best man. They will start looking at what they will gain like traveling and living abroad.They think there is a tree money in every other country.They get disappointed when they find the opposite.

If we type all the advice on earth here what difference will it make, at the end is you that is getting the advice not she,

And did she even ask you to rush to social media to seek advice for?

Uncle, please stop pressuring your sister, any marriage proposal that comes with condition get giant K leg. Dis was the same story my ex and her family swallowed 12yrs(U.K too o),she got pregnant my guy was no where to be found after impregnating her(excuse plus excuses),why he won't allow her to come to the same U.K he promised initially,babe was in 9ja for 9yrs until he visited again, just last year some friends assisted with documents to secure U. K visit visa, on arrival in the U.K our man is married to akata with children (12 and 14yrs),d stori long but bottomline don't rush your sister, leave her to her decision,marriage is not the ultimate achievement (9ja or a man abroad)

fruqy:
This is a scam post. This was posted in 2017 with the exact same words


https://www.nairaland.com/3713654/please-sister-verge-making-worst

Check it out.

Nonsense

See another one

https://www.nairaland.com/4482312/divorcee-make-biggest-mistake-life

Lol... Thumbs up to you bro.... So many scam posts these days just to get the thoughts of people on life issues. Maybe her sister is still looking for advice and decision since 2017

u need to be careful with all this abroad based guys,many of them already have women abroad and even children.he may just be trying to have children in nigeria.He may promise to take her abroad,he may not have the means to do so, what does he do abroad,what is his status in UK. is he a citizen, does his status permit him to bring in people to join him.The embassy decides the whole process,so consider a case that she gets pregnant and she can't join him because of visa denial she will only continue to be a single mother. so marriage comes first, the embassy only recognize married people as part of a family.you can only join him if you are his wife and that is what the embassy will recognise

dominique:
The biggest mistake your sister will make is if she gets pregnant for that man. The man most likely has a foreign based family and he's looking for someone to give birth to home based kids to him. You're so fixated on having a sister abroad that you can't see this. Has he said anything about going to registry to get married legally? Or you think by paying for dowry is enough to start processing her travel documents. Your sister is street smart, she knows most of these foreign based men are phony. Your sister should tell him to take her to registry first and marry her legally, then proess her visa before she takes in.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, I i need your sincere advice pls.

My sister is a divorcee with two kids she is solely responsible for. Life has not been fair with her.

Finally, God brought a cute man who is based in UK her way, the man is willing to marry her and take her to the states, he has come to see our parents and also took her to see his, they have agreed to tie the nut in December this year.

The guy is currently in Nigeria and has been begging my sister to get pregnant for him, my sister knows for sure he will marry her once she is pregnant but doesn’t want to so that pregnancy doesn’t stop her from meeting other guys pending when he comes to pay her dowry. Note, they met in the club but the man still overlooked it and still proposed marriage to her.

Sincerely speaking, she wants to settle down with him but her problem is that she doesn’t want to get pregnant and stay alone all by herself pending when the man will take her and the kids to the uk, she wants to take in when she has moved to the uk, but then she is scared she might loose him before then as they are already having misunderstandings been that my sister likes hanging out with friends and going clubbing which doesn’t go well with the guy.

Now the guy is having double mind on if he can go ahead with the marriage or not, I have adviced her to take in for the man and by dec her dowry will be paid but she is adamant, pls what is the best option for her in this situation?


Take in for this guy now he is in Nigeria and secure him or wait till December and risk loosing him, note he is a very cute guy and every girls dream, my sister also is tired of life and wants to settle down, if she takes in now, by dec her pregnancy will be 3 months, she is also bothered abt wat people will say on why she took in befor she was married to the guy, my parents also especially my dad will frown at it but dey don’t know that life has not fair with her and she needs a man to call her own. Should she careless abt my parents and what people will say and take in or wait and do the proper marriage before she takes in?

She is 35 years old with two kids, no other suitor insight too.

ur sister is a Runs Gurl hence becoming a divorcee...No man wants such a women hence the man has been advised..Let her Remain single mother and render service to men who need her pusssssyyyyy..

HarunaWest:
you must be a clown...A woman that loves clubbing is the one you said is tired of life...I pity you...you don't know your sister...From the write-up,it seems you are more interested in the guy than she is...Your sister won't marry that guy and even if she does it wouldn't last cos Las Las she will go back to the club to keep searching for her missing rib which obviously isn't MR CUTE...if I were you,shoot your shot,If he gree,go do marriage registry for Ikoyi, Japa next day

Ahahahahah the way guys reason sometimes can be really amusing... See mouth like jappa

OP dont take this advice o

Not only processing her visa before she takes in but actually taking her there before she takes in. Btw, the OP didn't mention whether the said man is nigerian cos if he is then most likely he has a family abroad and is just looking for a nigerian wife that'll give him kids. I've seen countless number of ladies who rushed into marriages with guys abroad like this only for their eyes to be opened to reality few years later.

dominique:
The biggest mistake your sister will make is if she gets pregnant for that man. The man most likely has a foreign based family and he's looking for someone to give birth to home based kids to him. You're so fixated on having a sister abroad that you can't see this. Has he said anything about going to registry to get married legally? Or you think by paying for dowry is enough to start processing her travel documents. Your sister is street smart, she knows most of these foreign based men are phony. Your sister should tell him to take her to registry first and marry her legally, then proess her visa before she takes in.

As far as i'm concernd, u r the desperate one here. Think what ever u want, ur sister has more experience than u can ever imagine. Her first love played her then divorced her, that should warn u, but instead u have ur eyes fixed on the currencies that may come ur way. Truth be told, u r worst than Gehazi in the bible, and as far as am concern u r more of a treat to ur sister than the devil who needs a baby mama simply because his oyinbo wife isnt buying the idea of giving birth or may have removed her womb. Better apologise to ur sister cos frankly speaking u have a long way to go in life, so learn from ur sisters past.

Bluehill1051:
The guy is playing her!
No single rich guy will carry another man's responsibility like that, even 2 kids sef and worse, she's a club girl, most probably an olosho.
I used this method once too. The girl actually thought I was her destined husband cuz I made her believe so. She even confessed to me that she has had two abortions for 2 guys. Bcuz of me, she changed her contact even up to her bank alert text number. Her aunt that she stays with and I even talk on phone weekends but most times I try to avoid meeting the family like an expected guest. Initially she'll say the usual let us wait till aft wedding b4 we sex, but then again I'll confuse her. I even promised her some cash the same day she finds out she's pregnant. But all na for play.
Who doesn't want a loyal pussy. It's like eating your cake and having it.
I fukked this girl like a wife!
Not once did we use CD. Las las I added my own to her collections of abortions!

Badt guy. My man ma main guy.
Na man u be