₦airaland Forum

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

chidiebereuzoma:
Are you married now?
I just want to check something

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

MPESA:
Am sorry for the outcomes though I believed that God has a reason for it be it negative or positive even my only kid sister stayed from so many male serious suitors , na so she go tear race upon discovery.


It's very painfull because it has done more harm than good both in families and relationships BUT THE BITTER TRUTH IS THAT WE CAN'T STOP....

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Are you kidding me? After gushing about your love for her, you are easily letting her go because of one stupid tradition. Well maybe you don't even deserve her. My brother married a so called osu and they have been leaving happily for over 20 yrs. Stupid tradition. Is your loss my friend.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

Originalsly:
Hmmm...... don't be in a rush to break any news. Yes you alone can't break the system... but you can try to at least crack it by fighting back instead of just rolling over. You are 21st century generation.... do you or your mates support it? Some traditions just need to be dropped... this is one of them. Your parents are deep into it... you can't convince them. I guess they are Christians.... use the Bible to fight them...

He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing

Let them know you found a wife... and they agreed... were happy... so where does the Bible say at shouod rule her out? For your part.... show depression.... don't eat at home.... say you're not hungry. Don't involve in any conversations unless is about your heartbeat.... just be sitting and staring... and in a few days if no shifting.... then start with basic suicide talk... arrange phone convo with a friend..... let your parents overhear parts of the convo like .....what'sthe point of living if you can't be happy?....and later on.... don't worry...you don't understand... I can't continue like this... when I do what I am planning to do... you will understand.... but that will be too late.

No parent wants to lose their child to suicide... especially when they know they would be the ones responsible. That fear will make them really reconsider their position... and challenge the practice. Don't ever go down without putting up a fight....no fight no change.
After all.... you may get the blessings from your parents... period.... and it would have to be top secret.

The best comment I have ever seen so far. Thumb up my dear. May God grant him the wisdom to apply this wonder idea. Thunder fire Osu caste system.

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

addictiv:
And u call that a fault.... Something that my guys would die for... Regarding the op... It's a shame he has lily livered andalready made up his mind to succumb to family pressures n surrender his throat even before the knife has been raised.. Osu cast system has been abolished in Imo State and igboland at large. Anybody practicing it can be prosecuted using the appropriate channels. As for being sidelined in family meetings... Nna become a billionaire and see if they won't seek ur decision first before anyone else. Besides what really do u stand to loose? If it's family land.. U can leave them and buy your own land and build ur village house. Any family member that ll refuse to relate with you because you married her is not worth being regarded as family and should not be seen within a 100 miles of your home. I cannot rescind my decision to marry someone based on factors she never had control over. I am also from Imo state, Mbaise to be precise.

Originalsly:
Hmmm...... don't be in a rush to break any news. Yes you alone can't break the system... but you can try to at least crack it by fighting back instead of just rolling over. You are 21st century generation.... do you or your mates support it? Some traditions just need to be dropped... this is one of them. Your parents are deep into it... you can't convince them. I guess they are Christians.... use the Bible to fight them...

He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing

Let them know you found a wife... and they agreed... were happy... so where does the Bible say at shouod rule her out? For your part.... show depression.... don't eat at home.... say you're not hungry. Don't involve in any conversations unless is about your heartbeat.... just be sitting and staring... and in a few days if no shifting.... then start with basic suicide talk... arrange phone convo with a friend..... let your parents overhear parts of the convo like .....what'sthe point of living if you can't be happy?....and later on.... don't worry...you don't understand... I can't continue like this... when I do what I am planning to do... you will understand.... but that will be too late.

No parent wants to lose their child to suicide... especially when they know they would be the ones responsible. That fear will make them really reconsider their position... and challenge the practice. Don't ever go down without putting up a fight....no fight no change.
After all.... you may get the blessings from your parents... period.... and it would have to be top secret.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

madridsta007:
I hope you would take the pragmatic and logical decision and not the emotive decision.
We can only talk and pretend about so many things. As Igbos what happens online isn't the reality off-line.

Marrying her means that you will not (1) Recieve the parental blessings that come with marriage when ones parents are alive (2) Dishonour your parents (3) An excommunication between you and your entire family (4) will lead to children whom the community will ostracise as "Osu". Marriage goes beyond the euphoria and excitement of the single day of wedding; you will still have to deal with your family, community, kinsmen, clan, etc. For all the days of your life.

Not marrying her will mean, (1) Heartbreak for both of you and, if managed properly will mean (2) both of you will STILL get married to other partners and families which are in the same religious and community ideology as your families.

This is just the simple analysis.

In the end, she gets married to someone/ a family that accepts her and in the end, you get married to someone your family accepts. You are Igbo. You should know that beyond what is romanticised online, family and family acceptance is a big, big, big thing. Unless you want to pretend to yourself.

Christopherrrr:
It's quite unfortunate my community still takes cognizance of it.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

jjohndoe83:
It is your life to live, it is your happiness, it is your fulfillment on the line. Take your stand and live your best life. Do you have a job? can you work? If yes, marry her and prepare to sail alone but sial happy and fulfilled. You will not live this life twice!

nunnu:
WHO PARENTAL BLESSING HELP. THE MAN MY PARENTS CHOOSE FOR ME NEARLY ENDED MY LIFE. ABEG COMMOT FOR ROAD.

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...