Christopherrrr:


Nothing is absolutely wrong with me. Yes I have found love but the consequences are way far beyond me. It's not only gonna affect me alone but every other being from my father's loins. My parents will have a fair share of the consequences same is applicable to my siblings and every other person that involves themselves in a marital way with them. Honestly, I don't wish this for my worst enemy. Damning the consequences is easier said than done in this part of the world. To bad we ain't in the Western world where there is individualistic lifestyle.

Many ppl Tellin u 2 damn d consequences don't really understand wt it would mean going ahead wit it. Dey r using emotion nt reality

Christopherrrr:


Lol!! 2years you said. If that's the case, nothing could have stopped me. We are talking about something that has come to stay in the family. Even to the unborn. Think about how long you have been hearing about this very issue.

God is really rewarding that girl for being a good person. See how she is protecting her from entering a union with a man who is so bound to ancestral anti-Christian and modern traditions. Please frankly break the news to her so that another man can have that jewel in his home. If possible, give me your contact let me hook you up with my babe and you give her to me. Oboy! See some us just de here d battle to marry person wey be say get plenty serious issues while people like you have it on a platter. Please PM bro. I'm serious.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

hmm i for apply 2 ooooo but i b 6ft 2 hw our kids go cum b

Upworkwriter007:

When you're in the middle of the devil and the deep blue see, make a devilish decision.... If u go ahead and marry the lady, worse case scenario they will scream for 2 years , after that you're good. ....the decisions are in ur hand....only u and ur family understands how to proceed.....but in case u decide to damn the consequence, make sure u succeed immensely in life, cose success has many family members.

Wt if dey scream more dn 2 years? No man is n island

Idzitari1:
Nonsense tradition, bro if actually this so call stupid osu thing is still in existence nd the government once said the abolish it, a word of advice if u trully luv this girl involve an NGO that fight against it. I guess u can do anything to save ur luv but if u can't I be KD osu we marry anything wih a V, Lol

it's a simple thing, I don't think op loves her, as he has claimed, if he did he would have fought for the abolishment of that tradition in his community, like I said, in my own community we have signed an agreement of abolishment in 2018... Majority was in support of it, thanks to our learned people from diapora, who had issue with same evil tradition even in faraway USA, they fought for it for years, the earliest known period to me is 2005

nunnu:
WHO PARENTAL BLESSING HELP. THE MAN MY PARENTS CHOOSE FOR ME NEARLY ENDED MY LIFE. ABEG COMMOT FOR ROAD.

Why would you let them choose for you are you twelve? You pick a man, they approve!

It is a pity that your education has no value. Note that this is 2019 and not 1919. Brace up bro. Give your education a meaning. Do not allow tradition to cause you not to marry your love. If you allow your parents to stop you, by you not convincing them to embrace positive change, then you are not really in love with the girl. What part of Igbo land are the Osus?

Seriously the Osu don't have problem at all... They can marry OSU and non-osu.

It is the non-osu that have this challenge. Funny.

[quote author=Zikora1000 post=82482823] if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty

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Christopherrrr:

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

"She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me."
What else do you want in a wife? You have all the main ingredients for a happily-married life?

The caste system has been officially abolished. Inform your parents that you will proceed to marry this girl. I know your parents will try to force your hand, and use expressions like "marriage is more about families than the individual", "respect for tradition and your elders", but let me say this: the people who started the Osu system, they were humans just like you, and they had their own reasons. You too have your own reasons to help remove that system.

OP, men have disagreed with their families over many things in the past - you won't be the first nor the last. This also won't be be the last thing they will want to do their own way, so you need to stand up. Don't be afraid. You are a man. Anybody will be angry with you for not following their decisions (whether it's what type of soup to eat, where to build your house, what to name your child, which woman to marry, your career choice).

They are trying to impose their views so they they look good to their relatives and friends. If they force you to give her up, they might end up making you embittered, and who knows tomorrow?

Christopherrrr:


Bro, no one is deceiving me. I know of this tradition right from the day I was born till now. It's just so unfortunate I happen to be a victim of it. I know of a family in my community too that their father made the mistake from a far distance community with more than 20-25yrs gone before it was discovered. Him and his entire household was sidelined from all other family dealings to the extent it affected his daughters getting married to people around. They took succor from outside the state as the case was then. It's just the inter-marrying that's the case but can be involved in every other dealings.

Hmm, I'm from Anambra Nanka precisely we have abolished that tradition for long nobody is an outcast and you dare not call someone by that name. Although, my family is none. But I will advice you to let your girl know on time, you can't fight it. I know it will hurt but she have to know on time. God will give you another women like you or even better.

What do you actually want @op? You already know what to do so why did you bring it up here? You countered every advise given already

Please just close your thread and tell the gentle girl the truth. I am sure another man that's worthy of her will marry her one day. I am sure in that her same osu community, they are getting married

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

And if you dig further you might find out that his parents are supposed to be Christians ...... With a forgiving heart but all na lie lie
Some of these traditions are not fair at all. Na the girl be de origin?

chidiebereuzoma:

I'm single and searching

Ain't we all?

Celestial777:




Osu caste system may never leave the Ibo communities this is the reason.
My friend wanted to marry a girl who happens to be nan OSU from unuagwo kindred. They were both medical practitioners.. the whole family of the man went against such Osuic union saying such marraige will only turn there own lineage to osu. The matter was brought to CWO meeting and the leader of the group there is nothing like osu again in this present day. Las las the relationship was dissolved. After a while the leader of cwo that said osu is nothing...her daughter found herself in similar situation. The man she want to get married to happen to be an osu. She was so confident that her mom will support this union since she already know her stand on it....las las the same woman reget it . She said her only daughter cant marry osu.
Rev Father now remind her what she said sometimes ago and also her position as the head of Catholic women organisation that she should lead by example...she said if its her position as cwo will make her pikin marry osuw she no do again...infact she later join winners chapel sef

That is the irony of osu in iboland

Osu cast system many never leave IMO state. I've fixed that. Abia state don't do such. Only ndi imo carry am for head like Emmy

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

you dey para gan

Christopherrrr:


Since you are Igbo and Anambra to be precise, Bro I'll advice now never to throw caution in the air regarding issues like. You can only do away with it if your community doesn't regards such belief. Aside that, even if you are beyond this planet with your wife, your family down here will be victimized. Please endeavour to ask questions when the time comes. #MyAdvice.

I really feel for you. I mean, you're obviously very smart and you sound smart too. I read the post expecting to see numerous grammatical blunders after your warning, but I could only see a well-articulated piece. Well done.

Unfortunately, I really don't have any tangible advice to give you. I only came to encourage you. You understand the consequences of marrying an Osu quite well. I come from Anambra State, and osu isn't a term that is common in the part of the state I come from. As a matter of fact, I personally don't know any family that is regarded as osus. I think it's long been abolished from my part of Igbo land.

I really can feel you when you described your love for your girl. That's exactly how I feel about my fiancee. I can't imagine anybody telling me we can't get married for any reason. They should better disown me, cos it will be a disaster for me to lose her. But you know what, I lost someone before I could gain her. I lost another great girl who seemed like a perfect match for me when we dated for 3½ years. For some not-too-serious issues, we had a break up. I thought I was never going to find a good girl again until I met my fiancee who turned out to be the best choice I could ever have made. Today, I am very grateful to God for that initial break up.

What I am saying in summary is that since you have strong doubts, it's better not to go ahead, despite that you love her so much. When crises start (and every marriage faces crises), it may be difficult for you to withstand it especially when the support of your family isn't there.

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

Some traditions just can't be abolished, thanks to ignorance

With this nonsense you go still see them going to sound boasting sey na them dey civilized pass for the whole world.

[quote author=Originalsly post=82477053]Hmmm...... don't be in a rush to break any news. Yes you alone can't break the system... but you can try to at least crack it by fighting back instead of just rolling over. You are 21st century generation.... do you or your mates support it? Some traditions just need to be dropped... this is one of them. Your parents are deep into it... you can't convince them. I guess they are Christians.... use the Bible to fight them...

He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing

Let them know you found a wife... and they agreed... were happy... so where does the Bible say at shouod rule her out? For your part.... show depression.... don't eat at home.... say you're not hungry. Don't involve in any conversations unless is about your heartbeat.... just be sitting and staring... and in a few days if no shifting.... then start with basic suicide talk... arrange phone convo with a friend..... let your parents overhear parts of the convo like .....what'sthe point of living if you can't be happy?....and later on.... don't worry...you don't understand... I can't continue like this... when I do what I am planning to do... you will understand.... but that will be too late.

No parent wants to lose their child to suicide... especially when they know they would be the ones responsible. That fear will make them really reconsider their position... and challenge the practice. Don't ever go down without putting up a fight....no fight no change.


After all.... you may get the blessings from your parents... period.... and it would have to be top secret.
Kai kai!! my brother you have P.HD in Romancicology: which means the art of getting your ways through artistry in love matters. Pls set up a shop.

Trutherme:


This is sad and unfortunate bro. I feel for you and anyone who has been in love can relate to your predicament.
The Osu Caste system is still in place among the Igbo people and I honestly don't think it will go away anytime soon. Parents have killed themselves or died of heartbreak because their sons or daughters went ahead and married someone who is labelled an Osu. Those who went ahead and married each other end up with total excommunication from family members. The fact is that those who are telling you to go ahead and marry this girl will not live with you and feel all the pains after you marry her.

I had a similar experience but mine ended well. After I introduced my then girlfriend, the only thing my mom said was 'ok we shall see' After a couple of months, she told me that all was ok and that everything was ok. I was stunned to find out that they send my uncle to Imo state and he spend a whole day making inquiries and asking questions about my wife's family.

My advice is to bring this terrible news to your girlfriend. You may be surprised by her reaction because they may have been others before you.

It's only in that imo state that their still practicing that nonsense. Here in Abia we're civilized. Don't succumb to such devilish believe.

This is so sad..I understand how you feel O.P u need to seat one on one with ur girl and discuss this..and decide if u both can just have kids 2gether and live 2gether without the actual marriage but I doubt that will work cos me I can't settle for that..I don't understand the black race..same people call themselves biafrans and all yet they still stigmatise themselves again?hmm nawa o


Check my signature you just might find what you have been looking for

Idzitari1:
Nonsense tradition, bro if actually this so call stupid osu thing is still in existence nd the government once said the abolish it, a word of advice if u trully luv this girl involve an NGO that fight against it. I guess u can do anything to save ur luv but if u can't I be KD osu we marry anything wih a V, Lol

what will the government or NGO really fight?

there's nothing ot be fought here.

the government or NGO won't force his parents and entire community to attend his wedding neither will they force his parents to bless them, not even force the family to accept the girl.

The guy can go on and do court wedding and church wedding if his church is cool with his parents not partaking in it. But traditionally, he and his family (plus kids) are not recognized... The father can refuse to let him into his house or anything concerning him, so what will the government and NGO do in such case?

Some of you who are none Igbos or do not have knowledge of the thing will just be giving advice uppn advice on a subject you lack information of. The truth is nobody can stop him from marrying the girl if he so wishes... At the same time nobody can force others to accept/recognise he and his marriage(family as well)... I don't know how marriages are done in other parts of Nigeria but in Igbo land, it goes beyond the few hours of ceremonies...


By the way, the Osu thing has spiritual repercussions, strangely enough nobody made mention of it here.

I will only advise the OP to go ahead if he's a devoted Christian(because of the spiritual repercussions) and if he's ready to damn the social consequences(family, community etc etc)


Other wise, just do what you know is right. By the way, marrying her sef right now based on her good conduct and love does not determine what she'll turn into tomorrow... people change... love changes.


Good luck with whatever decision you decide to go with

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

for where?that will only happen if Nigeria give them biafra

madridsta007:


LOL. You need to calm down with the emotionalism.

Parental blessings is VERY different from a parent choosing a wife for you.
Why are people struggling with English comprehension these days?

Your parents should not choose a wife for you. And I speak as a Christian. "He who finds a wife...", not "The parents who find a wife...". They should "BLESS" the marriage. Not "Choose" the marriage. These are two different things.

The most important blessing is that of the parents of the bride... Once they give their consent every other thing na formality. What of people who are orphans, or people who don't have family, don't they get married? Last I checked most marriages that ended in divorce or worse were blessed by both parents and the priest. For me Honoring your parents as a man means informing them of your decision to get married and carrying them along with the process. Should they declare ill feelings and misgivings it is within their right to do so. It is now left for me to proceed or rescind on my plan. As far as honoring goes they have been honoured

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

Chei, Yoruba and Igbo girls na 5&6. Nice one. Who cares about whether her ancestors were once slaves?
@OP: You better find a way to convince your parents. May be that's your own missing ribs. Stand your ground. Fight for her. You will win. Trust God and believe what I'm saying. Once your parents see that connection and love. They will bow to it. They know discrimination is wrong.

Otherwise, please, connect this precious lady to a Yoruba man to marry ASAP. This is one of the main reasons why the other tribe will continue to marry the best of your women. Very stupid tradition, one would think.

Either way. All the best.

faithscharms:
This is so sad..I understand how you feel O.P u need to seat one on one with ur girl and discuss this..and decide if u both can just have kids 2gether and live 2gether without the actual marriage but I doubt that will work cos me I can't settle for that..I don't understand the black race..same people call themselves biafrans and all yet they still stigmatise themselves again?hmm nawa o


Check my signature you just might find what you have been looking for

those laps of yours fit turn person to Biodun Fatoyinbo

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

I'll be truthful with you. You have already made your choice, your fear is more than the love for her.. Don't suffer that lady just call it off

Enemyofpeace:
those laps of yours fit turn person to Biodun Fatoyinbo

Hmmm who is biodun?is that a good thing or bad thing?

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

If not being involved in any family dealings is the only consequence then Bleep it!!! If you let this girl you just described go, you'll have to deal with like 10 karishikas before you meet another one like her.
Sit her down and have a talk with her, tell her the issue on ground then you guys will work things out going forward

uzicuzy:
I thought dis cast system thingy has been abolished?...

Nope still very much active. The whole thing even tire me. I have seen people that broke all norm and went ahead to marry each other but they never ended up well

Op... Please don't tread that path of marrying her since she is an ọsụ.... The Kings and Co that abolished it, why didn't they give out their children to the outcaste ... Your parents are your 2nd God, listen to them and have their blessings to avoid had I known...

The Afonjas are now castigating our cultures like say they don't have barbaric and devilish cultures too...

Ofu onye anaghị anụ nwaanyị n'ala Igbo.... Ọ kwa agbasia ọsọ, a gụọ mile...Rapukwa ihe ndị a na ede na foonu, ha ma e sokwa gị taa ahụhụ ha mgbe ọge na abịa..

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