₦airaland Forum

Op bia... Why don't you have a head of your own that a thinking cap can fit. Aunty want to use pussy to turn you to her handbag over there and when she's done she will now dump you.
Bros hustle oo make you no go wash car for your girlfriend sugar daddy... �

Mensah007:
I meant persistent not aggressive sorry

She loves you and wants to be with you. Try to convince her that you'd always visit and improve on communication. If she agrees, good luck and if otherwise, her loss.

There is nothing confusing here is simple, tell her you will come to Abj and settle in Abj, after service. all you need to do now is to call her fix a day and come to Abj that when you will explain all this to her not on phone mind you first you have to do your clearance first. she need to see you and talk with you re assure her that you will come to ABj and settle down. Abj is ok i stay in Abj so i know but you must be a hustler.

Mensah007:
This is basically my greatest fear, living off her goodwill

Guy, man up and leave emotions for now. The most important thing is your NYSC, and if you can't work it out, remain in Lagos till u finish. If she truly believes you are a hustler, then she's supposed to even be the one to sacrifice being with you, and not the other way round. Nothing dey Abuja, been there before!

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

If you go abuja. U U mumu. A man is d head, try n behave like one

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

Well I understand your girlfriend.
She means well for you but she doesn't respect u.
She wants to control u n dictate for u. She's the Man because she's Rich. Anyway my advise is to do your best n move to Abuja on 1 condition. If you don't get a job within 6 months due to her high connection, break up with her.

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

Honestly, after reading your message, I was wandering if you are unnecessary too soft or there is something she possess that is making you mad over her or, you actually gave her your mumu botton and she is pressing you like a remote

Pls this lady, might Lord you if care is not taking

Yes women are possessive and manipulating but it happens more in a marriage setting than friendship settings

Assuming she has gotten a Job and accommodation and a job for you, then I will support you and when you get there, you remain humble to the core

Now at your twenties you haven't even find your bearing and you are allowing yourself to be put in a tight container ❓

Pls be firm tell her that you don't buy the ideas because you are not financially OK and doesn't want to be a liability to yourself

If she wants to visit you, invite her and if she refuses, leave her

Learn to take a decision that will guide your future not a decision that will keep you onhold.

Abeg, if King send you, use your head.

Chai... na better konji hold that babe. Make I send you tp make you go cure am.

See gingering...

op, u r in charge of ur life, do what u want, ur babe is manipulative, she can also give u an ultimatum to impregnate her with a male child in the future, if she venture born girl, u r done for.... lol

JayPeeOham:
This is a serious matter that needs to be handled wisely.
Rationally speaking, you need to be sure of the kinda strings she's tryna pull on you, like, does she have a surprise job, accomodation for you in Abuja? Kindly, ask her those questions.

Secondly, hope she is not the kinda girl that will want to be the man in her relationship simply because she's been the "financial pillar" in the relationship right from school days. Hence, will want to make decisions for you not minding if you're comfortable with it or not thereby leaving you optionless and without choice.

Her motive for you might be right but she shouldn't be pushy about it. And forcing you to do it under duress!!

My brother, you are a man and whatever you accept in your relationship you should be ready to accept it forever (that's if you guys end up together).

You are at a point in your life where you need to evaluate your decisions critically before you choose and when you eventually go for a particular option, you do it intentionally and not out of compulsion from a girlfriend/Lover/Friend/Family member and so on. Mind you, I'm not saying all the aforementioned cannot advise but las las the decision is solely for you to make. Any decision you make at this point imn your life will definitely have a turn on you tomorrow!

Lastly, I will submit by this pidgin phrase that says: "Na Sleep We Dey Use No How Death Be!!!"

Hmmmmm, thanks boss. But actually i fended for myself in sch nd fended for her too at times.

How long do you still have left with nysc.since you have tried to redeploy before and it doesn't work better not way your time and money,continue looking for hustle in Lagos and try rise money to go finish her.though you have to let her know that your plan for now till you are tru with ur service.
She is already in Abuja if she truly loves you make she begin plan how she will get a good job and accommodation,so dat you can come over to look for job when you are tru with service in Lagos.there is no need for unnecessary rush,if Na Bleep,go Abuja for like a week to and tell what need do to make your coming to Abuja easy. If you go Abuja now how u want to ur PPA /CDs/ monthly clearance.

bro.... try talk with her....if she wants u...she will understand...

Abuja is by far more lucrative. It isn't even up for debate.

kowema:
I'm here wondering how Abuja is more lucrative than Lagos.
The most available job in Abj is Civil service job. You can say Abuja is a lot more peaceful, but definitely not more lucrative.

bros. i do understand what you are going through right now but the truth moving to a place you are not sure of Accommodation and source of living is a NO--NO . when you move down and becomes a burden on her trust me the relationship will still break. The truth is: There are MORE Job Opportunities in Lagos than Abuja except you get long leg

Guest007:
The pressure is to manipulate you so turn the tables. If you are 100% sure that you have tried then call her bluff...

Manipulate her by telling her that she is a bad girlfriend for stressing you out, for adding pressure at a point you need support.

Play the victim, pick a fight and hold your ground, she'll come and comfort you and hopefully give you another 6 months.

Pick a huge fight over this... If you could go and visit even for a day, just so you could do it in front of her, fighting over the phone won't have the same effect on her.

I like You already

[color=#006600][/color]

Guest007:
There are 2 people in this relationship! What have you drummed into her ears

Bruv, stop this she said mantra... You might be fighting for your destruction if you're not careful...

God, life or whatever you call it might be pushing something out of your life and you are here busy fighting for it...

You need a break to reevaluate your relationship, this could be your answer to switch the tables and have her convince you why she's the right person for you. Self respect is attractive.

You are the best thing I have seen on this forum for a very long time.

Marry me please

King44:
true, what would be would be my guy don't rush ur sef because of the fact that u love her if she wants to break up let the words come out of her mouth but before then make yourself clear n let her know she doesn't have to go to that length of giving you a deadline plus you need some time to figure out things for yourself at your own pace

if she can't wait brother don't use ur own to hold her back or rush your life because of love so u won't leave for abj after sometime come back disappointed to start over again in lag

besides like a guy asked when last did u f...k her she is surely missing you take some time out to pay her a visit find cheap hotel at most 4k a night two days is OK then back to lag to continue ur life who knows she might change her mind when you explain things to her over there plus it would be better if you explain things to her face to face rather than explaining over a phone call

I can't afford to go nd see her in a hotel currently.

[color=#006600][/color]

Mensah007:
This is basically my greatest fear, living off her goodwill

Op that your gf is about to turn you to a woman wrapper. Your moving to Abuja because of her will be your greatest mistake in life. You need to stand your ground as a man and fight for your future and in that future this your gf is not in it.

Mensah007:
I had to open another account to post this.
Me and my gf graduated from the school and are currently serving. I'm serving in Lagos while she is in abuja. She was actually redeployed from a far north state to abuja with money by her parents.
We re both in our mid 20s, We love each other so much and would like to marry asap if money comes. After we graduated from Uniben, she persuaded me to go over with her to abuja and search for greener pasture, i made frantic calls in attempts to secure a place to squat over there but to no avail, I had no relatives there and d few friends I have there aren't that close. I later had to go over to Lagos to hustle because i have a few relatives there. Even while i was in Lagos she was still insisting i come over to abuja, reasons that abuja is a more lucrative city. I truly agree to that fact but i seriously have nobody to squat with and I have nobody at all in abuja, not even been to abuja before.
At a time she managed to convince one of her mum's sales boys to take me in in his room but the guy disappointed at the last minute so I had to stay back.

Nysc came, I'm serving in Lagos, she was posted to Kebbi and later redeployed to Abuja. While in camp too, I tried redeploying to abuja on health grounds but I was redeployed bk to Edo state so i had to cancel the application and stay bk. She has been hampering that i redeploy to Abuja but i don't have the 50k fee to pay.

I'm now in Lagos serving in a school, during the holidays i always go out to look for a good job or a good hustle to do. I wasted transport fares and stress attending interviews daily and meeting people but nothing came out yet. Though i did one gig BA job and im yet to get paid. She is still insisting im lazy nd wasting away in Lagos nd i should come over to Abuja. I would like to add that I saw myself thru school with supports from my parents so I'm not lazy. One regret I have is that the hustles i did in uniben are not long term and can't be moved to Lagos. My plan is to find a good job or good hustle and ghost nysc . Im also looking forward to saving to buy a good laptop and starting online business because i have learnt a lot on Nairaland although saving 80k from 19,800 salary might take time.

I have managed to secure a room in a flat where im staying currently, I have resigned myself to be teaching in my ppa for the meantime and still be looking out . She recently became more persistent about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her. She initially proposed to pay 50k for d relocation lobbying but relocation for my batch isn't possible until October ending. She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.
I have been thinking about this all week, i don't know anybody in abuja, I don't have accommodation there, how do i do my clearance in Lagos if I move, I don't even have money so I will live off her benevolence till I find something doing. Had it been i have a sure hustle/job to take up in abuja, i can make the sacrifice and leave my apartment in Lagos here. I'm just confused.
I need advice please

. You are a confused young man without intellectual capacity of your own, am sure you are sweating profusely because the lady's parents are well to do, would that be the case if she is a broke lady. Who told you she will eventually marry you even when you relocate. Face your hustle and get a life

Timmie331:
Please you’re a guy and there are things that a guy must say authoritatively, tell her if that’s what she want then she’s free to go but you’ll stay where you’ll be able to survive, ask her for the plans she has for you if moving to Abuja is the only solution.....Think cause las las if you carry mumu love go Abj and you no see better things do, na you go suffer and she still go marry another person if you no succeed, break up with her before she break your heart��‍♂️

Timmie331:
Please you’re a guy and there are things that a guy must say authoritatively, tell her if that’s what she want then she’s free to go but you’ll stay where you’ll be able to survive, ask her for the plans she has for you if moving to Abuja is the only solution.....Think cause las las if you carry mumu love go Abj and you no see better things do, na you go suffer and she still go marry another person if you no succeed, break up with her before she break your heart��‍♂️

Please you’re a guy and there are things that a guy must say authoritatively, tell her if that’s what she want then she’s free to go but you’ll stay where you’ll be able to survive, ask her for the plans she has for you if moving to Abuja is the only solution.....Think cause las las if you carry mumu love go Abj and you no see better things do, na you go suffer and she still go marry another person if you no succeed, break up with her before she break your heart��‍♂️

Mensah007:
I can't afford to go nd see her in a hotel currently.

Then stay in your Lagos explains things to her on video call or any form of call if she insist you know what to do next majority of the here have given you all the best advice you need

she doesn't have a job g
for u neither an accommodation and you can't even afford a hotel room oga stay ur lane no look for trouble wey nor dey find you

if you guys are destined together she would end up with u don't force it

Mensah007:
NB: She has already broken up with me and insists that my moving over is the only thing that can change her mind. She wants d best for us nd has been supportive of me throughout our uni days and is a very good girl. She is really really serious abt this.


lalasticala , mynd44 , ishilove, , farano , Rocktation mods pls move to FP

Face your hustle oga, going to abuja will only enslave you. trust me bro you will go through this rage in peace.

See ehn, i'll advice you find a day to go to abuja, sit her down and let her know your reasons why moving to abuja now isn't feasible and if she doesn't agree still, just move on bro.

Mensah007:
She however insist i must be in abuja this Saturday.

RAISE YOUR HANDS IF YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS MISSING.

O.P, just tell her "You are my Girlfrien" Don't worry about the "" you will get that one later.

Come on man, be an Alpha for goodness sake.

lilmax:
She recently became more aggressive about the abuja move and gave me few days to come over or forget about her.



Don't go, all I see is DANGER

Break up with her immediately

No need to break up with her, the relationship will fezeel out by its self

Hi my guy, you need to be careful in this matter. I will tell you what I think about this your girl. She has already break up with you but she is only looking for way or excuses that it is your fault in the future. She knows you every well and she knows your financial capability then why is giving you condition you can not meet. Don't stress yourself about her, am sorry it might look somehow to you but it is true. When you are try not to disappoint people you get disappointed by the same people. If she STILL really love you, she will provide accommodation for you. Think twice ok

In all honesty, coming to Abj with 40k budget is very unrealistic. No jobs here bro! If you come down here and don't get yourself sorted in few months, there's every possibility she'll still walk away.

nuelsam:
Mah no lie.... This matter confused me a bit...... But lemme ask u some few questions.....
Peradventure u relocate to Abj, did she promise to get u a job or a meaningful source of income?
Do u have any relative in Abuja?
How are u sure Abj is more lucrative than lag?
Judging from your write up, if u eventually relocate to abj on her request even tho she meant well for u two......... Shes definitely going to dictate things to u as in shes definitely the one thats going to be in charge as far as ur relationship is concerned.
Bottom line: she loves u, no doubt....she meant well, no doubts but her emotion is giving her away, she needs to face reality.
Think deep

More wisdom fall on you Baba.

.

dave4rella:


Shes pregnant and wants to hang it on your head. Run! Run!. Plead that she gives you 3 months, she will either terminate it secretly or it will become obvious by then...and she will avoid seeing you. Goodluck man.

You won't kill me with laff......

See the angle you carried it to.

Mensah007:
I meant persistent not aggressive sorry

lmao my guy fear [s][/s]