₦airaland Forum

pek:
I am more disappointed in you for quoting the entire write up to make your point.

And how does that affects you?

Marriage no be by force

So I approached her while we were going back home from work.
Benita is now in 100. I don't understand, its contradictary

Bros no let anyone push u into what u would regret for life oo. It's what u want that Matas now. Not even what your family think. Pls if u want a homely wife or a nonchalant wife. It's your choice. But no that u can't be d one doing the chores in the house forever. Children are coming . Work is loading. Pls think deeply pls.

mrbenjame:
Thanks for your kind words. It really touched my spirit. I appreciate you for this. God bless you richly sir/ma.

Amen. My pleasure!

Some people are using Benita just about getting into the university to try to create some kind of doubt and uncertainty about the girl in the mind of the writer.Forgetting that Susan was also about to get into the university when the writer started a relationship with her. Susan is now through with school and about to go for service and she is still with the writer (even though I don't think she has been sincere.) As a matter of fact I think she is using the writer as a plan B. She might just be acting serious now because she would want to get married immediately after service (you know such stuff na, doesn't want to go and be dragging space with anyone in her father's house or all her friends are getting married so she has to join the queue), I really don't trust her genuineness. I mean, what will it cost anyone that truly loves somebody to do a few things to make them happy? Marry Susan and be prepared to have things continue the way they have always been while you were dating. Complain and get a 'you knew this was how I was before you married me' response, which is the truth. People don't change easily.
If you are so concerned about your family's opnion about your choice of a life partner, then tell them all about your considerations regarding both ladies.
You know who among both ladies make you happy, I will advise you to choose happiness over a whatever money you might spend to see Benita through school. Married women do go to school except you are not ready to get married soonest.
Best of luck!

A Big mistake a man can make in his life is to Trust a woman. Been married b4,she was everything a man would wish for, caring loving everything BT 2years into d marriage she was something else, I was so crazy one day I told her where my baby was cos dis is not whom I married.
My advice for u is to pray now and ask God Almighty to show u, I guess I rushed into it and I married with sentiment.

Dats is another big mistake. Marry a girl cos of sentiments

Good luck brother

Otsam:
There is no substitute for happiness bro, and it has no other name. If you are not happy with your path-mate, don’t expect miracle in the journey. Your friends and parent and anyone could give advice but wouldn’t be there with you during the journey. We can’t even understand your predicaments if you explai because we are not the one experiencing it. So please happiness is the key, go after what makes you happy as it would be you and you alone in your journey.

Thanks for your advice. I appreciate

Ivypresh:
I had a boyfriend before I entered school and did not breakup with him and I see nothing in guys in school except they are sweet talkers last last the so called guy I said was my serious boyfriend pregnanted his ex girlfriend in my back and was still proffessing love, then I met a sweet guy who is 15years older than me and I love him we have been together for two years now

What am saying is that if a girl loves u she loves, for her to start dating an older guy like u means she has specs
And schooling does not change anybody's emotion d only time a girl starts feeling somehow its when d guy becomes insecure and too jealous.. Follow ur heart don't put the fact that she is entering school as a consideration that she will leave u.... As for Susan hmmmmmmmmmmmm run else u will turn to husband at the same time d wife and maid in ur own house

Thanks. I appreciate

My friend listen and listen carefully.

1. Never marry a woman out of pity.you will regret it!
2.Be with the one that makes you happy/makes each other happy.Remember life is short
3.Your parent or relatives won't live your life only you will do.If Benita is worth waiting for,why not?
4.A woman that does not like going to the kitchen is not a good in the kitchen. Period!
5. She always turn up late? Well, well well

Can't advise more even if your were a blood brother.
The choice is yours still.

Let me tell you, go for Binta Susan is not into you

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

100L? Hope Benita isn't a 'small' girl sha. Its love that matters o. Its not who does things without complaining and who doesn't. Everyone has a bad side, so it doesn't mean Benita is completely an angel. Plus, y'all just met. Give it time. Also, you're a cheat sha. That's bad.

chigoizie7:
Coughs

Just downloaded yesterday am a learner

Guy Seat Susan down and let her know what you expected of her exactly bcoz it's the way you place yourself that's she's using the advantage. As for Benita watch her closely she maybe pretending to grab you to herself.
Use your upper bro.

Don't worry bro...

U will soon realize and start to chorus "it must have been love but its over now, it's where the wind blows, it's where the water flows"

In marriage, When you enter, u will know that it is indeed REALITY.DOT.COME

GOFRONT:
Where is Tony Tetuila??

Tony Tetuila is in the best position to advice..

Lol that song two women by Tony Tetuila

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

My little advice to you.....

So your mom and friends chose Susan because she out of school which you are not going to spend more money again on far right?.....

But didn't consider your happiness, how your future gonna look like? But that is up to you can you compromise that because of she is already made? Ask you sef

Ok am not saying that Benita is God sent that she is angel because of how she takes good care of you and your home any time she is around unlike Susan but even devil sef will chose Benita over Susan because it is clear that you will always feel pain being with Susan and if you marry her it will be forever unless you quit the marriage halfway and for Benita you know change is constant and women can't be trusted with that early wife material showing but you have seen how and what she is good at and it most thing that interest you in a woman, the only thing now is for you to pray to God and wish she will not going to change in future and if she continues like that you will live a happy man forever.

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

From Ur write up, u know who to choose

Mosebolatan26:
I had this issue with one guy when I was in 100 level, I was d typical house wife material, washed, cooked and cleaned after him, guy will not even walk with me on d road cus he’s already working, said he can’t marry an undergraduate thus half illiterate, guy later got married to a graduate with even a post graduate degree, chai my guy suffered!!! he will cook and clean and wife will still cheat and he's not that financially buoyant again, now am done and I have a degree in Petroleum microbiology, am awaiting my service, wifey already packed out last year with no issue and he’s almost 40, now he is begging to take me on a date, God forbid bad thing, he is so broken now,
Uncle think well... The chick you see today will become an hen one day.

Wao!!
Can we hook up?

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

My guy the first thing is to know the mind of God towards both Benita and Susan.
Based on your narration of both of them. Benita is more of a married material than Susan.
Susan is only a girl friend and I suspect she has other guys and not really into you.
She is just keeping you as spare tyre in case Bleep up is at the other side.
My brother don't look at now but look at future. Most importantly pray about them.

All these comments abi na advise we go call am sef fit make OP brain scatter

OP,follow your mind,but waka jeje,Benita might not be what u think she is,Susan inadequacies could be negating your heart towards Benita just because u wantu assume she gives u joy...Reason am well,brother!!!

Marry your friend.
Benita is just right for you but ...

Bros go with Benita but can I have Susan digits?

GOFRONT:
Where is Tony Tetuila??
Tony Tetuila is in the best position to advice..

u for call blesboi

marry another woman..

Susan was once a Benita to someone who took it for granted and dumped her because he probably felt she was desperate.

....

Men are weird .

Op spent 4years with his first gf
Then two years with his second gf

And hes still confused on whom to marry?
Hes confused on who makes him happy more ?
Hes confused on which of the ladies will give him peace of mind for many years to come ?

Mrbenjame i dont understand how u can be with a woman for four years and u still cant make up your mind if shes the best for you? And another one for two years ? And u are still perplexed?

Anyways i cant choose for you because im not the one dating the two women.

Seat yourself down and think deeply the differences between those two women
Dont rush into marrying anyone
Watch the benita lady and the susan lady for another three years , for more clarification. I even doubt if u will be able to choose whom to settle with , even after 10years.

Sighs na wa. I just wonder.

I seriously wonder .

This is actually quite sad, if its a girl that come on Nairaland to say this. Who do i choose between the two guys, you all would come for her head calling her olosho, but for a guy it is OK? Nawa O

Deicide:
This is actually quite sad, if its a girl that come on Nairaland to say this. Who do i choose between the two guys, you all would come for her head calling her olosho, but for a guy it is OK? Nawa O

Thats nigerians for you .
They are even pampering him with words , trying to choose the best wife for him .


Lol.

Na wa!

Mr man, you don't have wife that you want to marry yet. Susan is a no go area cos I really don't see anything good about her that you have said. Benita is everything good but she's just in 100 level in the university. You can't depend on a year one student in the university as a wife. Even final year students sef de Bleep up not to talk of year one... A friend was telling me last year that he wants to take me to the mother of one fine girl like that who is just entering school so I can marry and nuture cos he knows her to be a good girl. I told him I wasn't interested cos I know she would turn into some people's toys once she enters school... Keep searching for your wife Bro. You never get wife marry.

Susan is taking advantage of your gentleness and kindness. She sounds like the manipulative and lazy type who would sit on a man's head if given the slightest opportunity. Benita sounds like the homely type, she might be doing those things just for fun or she see's them as things ought to be done when visiting a guy or it might not even be a big deal for her.just take your time to observe benita or go for her if she makes you happy but whatever your choice is, please make sure Susan is not included for 4 years all she does is to eat and get smashed unbelievable