Here's my advice. Get the car and gift her. Since you're business oriented, find a way to manage that way, your wife and kids are happy and you will have a stable financial footing. You have managed without a car, keep up with it. She needs the car more than you do

Opeyemiebun:

Don't get me wrong madam, I only feel from past experience that a right or wrong decision will always bounce on me.
Not Ego!!

Mature response. Thought u would reply rudely. Ok you are d head of d family. I concur.

Designerdollars:
you are going to make a very bad wife
I pity the unfortunate fool wey go marry you

So why are you still following me? Pity your face dear looks gory.
It's a fool that'll marry you.

Shugavee:
Mtchewwwww u no get problem! Next

Lol.

My take is if there should be only one car then your wife should have it. If you really need a car then there should be two. And if she doesn't want a helper abeg don't press as a lot of helpers these days do a lot of funny things to kids when their parents aren't home.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.
I am a married Man with a Kid, before marriage my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.
We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.
I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.
We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.
She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.
I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.
I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.
What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

Op, I'm amazed u don't want your wife to buy a car for herself.
It's her money, so why refuse?

She wants to make her life and marriage easier for her to manage. But u prefer she jumps busses and Okada with the baby, while u cruise around wit car, because na u need car pass.

Some Men sef, I wonder at their mentality.

Always love seeing their wives suffer and working their bodies tirelessly.
Anyways it's her money, whether u agree or not? She will buy it.
He who wears the shoes knows where it pinches or else be ready for her to label u as a wicked husband who doesn't care about her and that's where your once loving home will start having crisis and issues.

Na wa o.

I can see everything turning around for ur good

Opeyemiebun:
I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money .

Let her get the car. After all it is her money and she needs the car for the baby.

ranmoor:
1. How far is her office to home and the creche? Most ladies just wanted car because of peer pressure. Sometimes personal car is more of a burden in this Lagos. But If she actually need the car she can get it. Just know that you will be fuelling and servicing most of the time.
2. You are a man na, you will survive. Did you tell her you want to buy a car before she decided she needs one too? Seems she has a lot of spare money. Let her get her car jare, don't be calculating on woman's money ooo

Thanks alot bro, I do appreciate.
Her work place is a bit large, the creche is inside the same compound but you can't trek it.
Secondly, I don't help her spend hers, I can only guide her.
I still take care of my responsibilities in the house.
Il

Op she wants to get a car with her own money oh and you want to stop her, even when you know she needs it as much as you do. You’re not only selfish but wicked... smh

[quote author=Opeyemiebun post=86323488]Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.
I am a married Man with a Kid, before marriage my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.
We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.
I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.
We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.
She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.
I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.
I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.
What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course? [/quote


It's either you get her the car and retain the best woman for you ever or deny her the car and see the true colour of the woman you get married to.

The choice is yours brother

Oga allow this woman to be great, she needs comfort too. Do you want her to crash from stress just because you want to make an investment? There are cheap cars all over Abuja, and she’s not even asking you to buy her one. For now do everything possible to make her comfortable, you said it yourself that she’s a good woman. Don’t be a typical Nigerian that will be living in squalor while trying to acquire all the wealth, healthy lifestyle matters a lot biko.

Most of my male colleagues have cars, but they take public transport to work.

Why? Because they've left it for Madam to use in her daily movement with their kids.

Seeing that you guys are parents, I'll say she needs it more than you.

Abi you never see when okada dey throw way mama and pikin?

Bro if there's room for it why wasting time thinking what is unthinkable! And if there's no room for it why not let her chase the car first reason been for the family purposely as you've said she goes through thick and thin before picking up your child from creche! Then you can definately get yours afterwards! My opinion though

[s][/s]3

Opeyemiebun:


Thanks alot, I believe you know how these extended families behave ..
I will let her have hers but I also desperately need one.
There is this feelings that come with my job when a client sees you dropping from a bike or Uber. A job they should offer you for 1m,they will look down on you and negotiate you for 400k.
Aside the economy side of it, Families will believe we are so much in money and the responsibilities will increase

Please buy two cars and stop complaining
When u get more contracts and high contracts too.. U can invest oo
Oya reason am..
Ur wife is using her money for her own car
You re using yours too.
When u buy a car.. A contract they look down on u n tell u 400k..then they give u 1milla..
Have u not made a gain of 600 u can then save for ur future investments??

What's wrong with this guy sef (op)? Its not that you are that business oriented but somehow selfish. You know your wife needs the car due to stress you mentioned above and she decided to get car for herself to reduce the stress by her own money not your money but instead you want one car which will only be available to your own use o, what a selfish husband!! Anyway, you asked for advice and lemme give you one. Since you think getting only one car will make sense at the moment, I will advice you to let her get her own car first so later you can get yours, simple!!

Opeyemiebun:

Look, I want to know from the experience of older couple on here how to manage such situation.
It is her money, and I have mine but as the head of the family I don't want to hurt her knowing she does alot too.
Thanks alot though

Let her have a car. Period.
Sit at home wives are even having cars letalone someone that has brought her all.
If two is too much you can be joining commercial vehicles.

Everything men will bring out their authority mtcheww

Standardkid240:
To me you're not being fair here, you sound more like an igbo man.

Be careful my friend.

You see the hustle of an Igbo man on his wife and kids. Anything contrary is a taboo.

She's not disturbing you to buy her a car, why do you want her to keep struggling while your own life is made easier?
Na wah o.
Your job and comfort is not more important then hers. She's working, allow her enjoy the benefits of working, as you also enjoy yours

If like you invest the two car money you will still need more money to invest once you have this mind set to invest and invest you will never satisfy with investing
Try to enjoy life bro and allow ur wife to buy the car as she’s not asking you for money

OP what are you doing?
You want to be driving around comfortable while your wife, who is also bringing her money and taking care of your toddler, in another location... Should be suffering without car?

Most men who use the logic of one car do so with the wife driving while he arranged himself. Not that you will be driving while the poor woman suffers.
What actually is your problem?

I don't give a damn about your job. Get that woman a car! She has tried with/for you!

This is coming from a man like you.
Let her use that to bless you so that God too will bless you.

Get her the car with your money (or more of your money). She got the kid and herself. Make her life stress free as much as possible.
You can manage.
For me, if I have 1 car, she keeps it.
If I have two cars, she drives the newest.
I no wan hear say Her car break down for road, we men handle stress better than women.

OP, you both should get a first car, which should be for her. A sound and reliable car oh, no be mechanic today/mechanic tomorrow or mechanic after six months.

Make her and the kids comfortable, abi your hustling na for who. Since she has managed and endure all these while like you stated, it will be good to rested or gift her with a car. Later you but your own.

So you needed to open a thread to ask NLanders if your wife should buy a car before you now agree for her to get the car; right? You really needed NLanders to tell you that first? Okay, let me add my own voice to the debate and say what most people are saying; LET HER BUY THE CAR; AS IT IS FOR THE COMFORT OF YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILD. Or do you want your wife to age before her time due to the stress she is coping with?

Don't be a selfish man by looking out for only your interest and neglecting that of your wife in the form of you wanting to have a car for your comfort but leave your wife and kid to run around with public transport. Not that using public transport is wrong in itself but if having a car can make life a bit easy for your wife then please let her get the car or better still, BUY IT FOR HER.

If both of you can afford 2 cars then go for it. If it's only one you can afford, then let your wife have the car as your child will benefit as well.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.
I am a married Man with a Kid, before marriage my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.
We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.
I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.
We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.
She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.
I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.
I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.
What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

where I live, I would rather have my child and wife enjoy the comfort of a car while I stride public transport.
To put it mildly, you are selfish putting yourself before your child and wife.

Opeyemiebun:


Hmmmm, so I should encourage us getting 2 cars within the next 3months looking at Nigeria's economy and the need to have multiple source of income?.
Waoooh, thanks for the advice!!!

Make your wife comfortable and stop looking at the economy.

What happened to the economy ? Seeing what is not there.

If you have one billion dollars investment without good health to enjoy it, of what benefit is that to you ?

Good men give their cars to wife and children first. A caring man with 2 cars hands the costlier one to his wife.

We learn everyday...

My advise will be for you and your wife to get one car first. And the car should go to your wife. Don't allow are to use her money alone for the purchase. Make sure you pay the lion share or u buy it solely with your money. Be actively involve with the purchase. Let her contribute in deciding the type of vehicle. If you can, let the car be registered in her name (or registered jointly in both hers and yours).

When she is fully settled, you can start saving money to get yourself a car within the next one year.

As a man, the comfort of your wife and children should take priority over yours.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.
I am a married Man with a Kid, before marriage my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.
We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.
I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.
We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.
She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.
I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.
I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.
What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

Opeyemiebun:


Hmmmm, so I should encourage us getting 2 cars within the next 3months looking at Nigeria's economy and the need to have multiple source of income?.
Waoooh, thanks for the advice!!!

Yes. Or get only one, let her use it and you can continue your trekking.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.
I am a married Man with a Kid, before marriage my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.
We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.
I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.
We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.
She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.
I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.
I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.
What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

if you can cope for now without a car, get for her first, that will be the best decision in your marriage, according to you, your wife is supporting you, means she's a good woman, just keep it that way, get her a good car as fast as you can and be happy ever after. Hardworking woman deserves to be pampered, you can get simple car with cheap mentanance for your self too,

Your wife needs that car more than you would ever.... Here's why
1. She's your best mate, and you want to make her happy
2. It's her OWN MONEY
3. for security of not jumping public transportation with your kids, it's easy to contract disease's especially kids in public transportation.
4. A civil engineer may need a car as you said, but you can do well without it too, I should know as I'm one myself.
5. Do you want a happy marriage?
6. If you really want to be financially erudite, buy the car for your wife and kids and trek yourself.
7. You post comes out as selfish sincerely.